I think you guys are one to something here.

Find a goon perception, figure out the true reality, type the true reality, strike it, and then paste the goon quote.
This one time, I was asked for some spare change by a homeless man.
So I threw my wallet at him, ran away blowing my rape whistle, and had him arrested for assault So I bought him breakfast and ate with him, learning his fascinating life story. I then gave him a lift to the homeless shelter, because giving them money only feeds their addictions.