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Author Topic: MOD FORUM LEAK: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"  (Read 54517 times)

David Jew

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #50 on: August 11, 2014, 10:19:57 AM »
+4
where is he gonna go

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #51 on: August 11, 2014, 10:26:52 AM »
+13
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #52 on: August 11, 2014, 11:07:16 AM »
+8
Moderating a dumb internet forum replete with broken nerds is the only thing he has going on in his life.
Let that sink in a bit.
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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #53 on: August 11, 2014, 12:13:50 PM »
+4
I say, I know almost nothing about this Abe fellow.

At first, I assumed the references to his being a 30+ virgin were the sort of good-natured joshing that goes on around here, but the frequency of them makes me think it's a real thing.

Seriously, how is possible to be a permavirgin when also a mover and shaker at SA, whose population is not known for its high standards when it comes to jizzing and being jizzed in?
"No way. We’re going to keep winning. We’re never going to lose. We’re never, ever going to lose."

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #54 on: August 11, 2014, 12:31:13 PM »
+21
Hath we forgotten?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-hYLL7Gpos" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-hYLL7Gpos</a>


My mommy left home when I was three
and she didn't leave much for my pa and me
as I cried and cried and begged her please to stay
Now I don't blame her cause she left my dad
He's a giant beta, but what makes me sad
Was before she left she went and named me "Cay"

Well she must o' thought that was quite a name
Soaked in tears and wrapped in shame
It seems I got picked on e'ery day
Some gal'd call me faggot and I'd turn red
Some guy'd fill a toilet bowl with m'head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Cay

Well I grew up weak and I grew up sad
Spent my life postin' in the 'YAD
I'd use a manly avatar to hide my shame
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd be a mod and posting superstar
And I'd leave behind this fucking awful name

It was ole' twitterverse in mid-july
Like it always was, my dick was dry
I thoght I'd tweet a broken slutty gal
I joined her as she slang some mud
I stared at her and pulled my pud
What's the worse can happen anyhow?

Well it turns out that this wasn't FYAD
And my powers here were might sad
I couldn't ban and got called on my shit
I went back to the QCS
And sat in my chair and beat my chest
And I said "MY NAME IS CAY! YES ITS QUITE FAY!
NOW GOKU GONNA DIE!!!"

ect. ect. I'm done.
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

As a white male I

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #55 on: August 11, 2014, 02:22:21 PM »
+15
Sample bias or not, still not hot enough to shame yourself white-knighting.

She's "take home after an evening of binge-drinking and feel really bad about it afterwards" at best.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #56 on: August 11, 2014, 02:24:34 PM »
+22
If only Abe could score with her, then his HR department could get hundreds of emails about how he's a rapist.


Quote from: Megaspel
To be fair, they did eventually ban Aatrek after people found out they knew he was a kiddie diddler.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #57 on: August 11, 2014, 02:27:17 PM »
+8
Even if she was hot, if you read more than 5 of her tweets you'd realize she was mentally ill.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #58 on: August 11, 2014, 02:29:21 PM »
0

IHaveNoMouthAndIMustSteen

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #59 on: August 11, 2014, 02:32:57 PM »
+7
Hath we forgotten?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-hYLL7Gpos" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-hYLL7Gpos</a>


My mommy left home when I was three
and she didn't leave much for my pa and me
as I cried and cried and begged her please to stay
Now I don't blame her cause she left my dad
He's a giant beta, but what makes me sad
Was before she left she went and named me "Cay"

Well she must o' thought that was quite a name
Soaked in tears and wrapped in shame
It seems I got picked on e'ery day
Some gal'd call me faggot and I'd turn red
Some guy'd fill a toilet bowl with m'head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Cay

Well I grew up weak and I grew up sad
Spent my life postin' in the 'YAD
I'd use a manly avatar to hide my shame
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd be a mod and posting superstar
And I'd leave behind this fucking awful name

It was ole' twitterverse in mid-july
Like it always was, my dick was dry
I thoght I'd tweet a broken slutty gal
I joined her as she slang some mud
I stared at her and pulled my pud
What's the worse can happen anyhow?

Well it turns out that this wasn't FYAD
And my powers here were might sad
I couldn't ban and got called on my shit
I went back to the QCS
And sat in my chair and beat my chest
And I said "MY NAME IS CAY! YES ITS QUITE FAY!
NOW GOKU GONNA DIE!!!"

ect. ect. I'm done.

Well, to get between those attention whore thighs
I said he was one of those patriarchy guys
And expected him to run away from Twitter and cower in fear.
But he came back with a zinger and a jab
So I told him to suck my dick like a fag
And I was grinning 140 characters from ear to ear

I tell ya, I've been in slapfights with plenty of men
And I usually gas or permaban them
With moderator of Something Awful Forum powers
I saw him respond with another pun
And start trending like a son of a gun
Then get retweeted by the SS pantshitters and all of their followers

And he said: "Abe you know I ain't got no beef
But I believe you've got a mistaken belief
About who exactly it is you think you’re puttin' down.
I’m only thirteen, and now you’re positioned
With evidence of having propositioned
An underage minor for sex with your hairy mound.”

He said: "I think you should thank me for insulting that hoe
Who brushes her teeth with a vibrating dildo
And shows off the things she was sticking up her nighty gown.
I won’t suck your dick and I won’t be afraid
Of a grown man who goes by the name of “Cay”
But I will get you de-moded and fired and run out of town."

So SS posted a thread about the Twitter link
And 4chan called my boss with the leak
And I got called in for an employee review
And I think about him, every day
About how much harm he caused your old pal Cay
And the next time I ask an underage boy to suck my dick, I’ll use…
Grinder or Tumblr or Backpage! Any damn thing but Twitter!

Salacious B. Crumb

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #60 on: August 11, 2014, 02:34:18 PM »
+4
Sample bias or not, still not hot enough to shame yourself white-knighting.

She's "take home after an evening of binge-drinking and feel really bad about it afterwards" at best.

On the other hand, you won't have to bother placing a drunk order for Domino's

Sal's your pal. And how! Vote Sal.

Got Milk?

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #61 on: August 11, 2014, 02:35:17 PM »
+19
She's the kind of chick you have on speed dial because you can call her up when you're bored on a Wednesday night and she will suck your dick every time you hang out and let you shove that fucker down her throat until she gags, but you feel kind of dirty about it afterwords, and don't want any of your friends to know about it.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2014, 02:37:46 PM by Shmorky In Seoul »

As a white male I

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #62 on: August 11, 2014, 02:36:22 PM »
+6
She's the kind of chick you message on an online dating site because you know she'll suck your dick and you won't even have to try, but you feel kind of dirty about it afterwords.

You just said what I said but in gay modern gen Y dating terms  :clint:

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #63 on: August 11, 2014, 02:40:22 PM »
+6
How hard is it even to mod a comedy forum? All you have to do is ban unfunny posters that nobody likes

Well, that wouldn't work because Abe would have to ban himself.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #64 on: August 11, 2014, 02:40:56 PM »
+2
She's obviously a heroin whore
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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #65 on: August 11, 2014, 02:42:14 PM »
+1
She's the kind of chick you message on an online dating site because you know she'll suck your dick and you won't even have to try, but you feel kind of dirty about it afterwords.

You just said what I said but in gay modern gen Y dating terms  :clint:

I edited that before you posted because I don't think you message people in online dating anymore. You like swipe or something now. What I'm trying to say here is I have a problem with editing posts.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #66 on: August 11, 2014, 02:51:32 PM »
+9
Also, sample bias, my ass. Hot chicks can't make faces this ugly:


She gets points for getting so much mileage out of her striking red hair and pale skin. Her bold fashion choices also generally accent that. She's doing good work there, honestly.

But, that's where the fun stops. She's a hardcore butterface who uses make-up primarily as a distraction. She's hoping enough paint on her eyes, lips and brows might distract you from her schnauz and flabby body.

Also, this is a nit pick, but stubby hands gross me out.

(On top of all this, she's a mentally ill idiot who sexually harasses children.)

Here she is pictured next to an actual hot chick:

Backpfeifengesicht

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #67 on: August 11, 2014, 03:11:32 PM »
+13
This whole episode is just another example of why people shouldn't use Twitter. Unless, of course, they're qualified experts like our distinguished colleague A. Doctor.
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #68 on: August 11, 2014, 04:50:37 PM »
+14


Would fuck. No questions asked. End of story.

And if this headcase propositioned you standing at the bar, you would too. STFU.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #69 on: August 11, 2014, 04:52:26 PM »
+6
Would fuck. No questions asked. End of story.

And if this headcase propositioned you standing at the bar, you would too. STFU.

On a random encounter? Maybe, depending on how much crazy she showed on the meeting.

After seeing her crazy shit all over the internet? Not in a million years.


Quote from: Megaspel
To be fair, they did eventually ban Aatrek after people found out they knew he was a kiddie diddler.

LITERALLY A RAPIST

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #70 on: August 11, 2014, 05:05:56 PM »
+25
because posting pictures of dildos in your mouth with mock-cum and naked selfies on the internet is a great way of saying "look out world, i have a lot to offer beyond being an object for your sexual pleasure!"

As a white male I

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #71 on: August 11, 2014, 05:08:14 PM »
+22
The best SS derails are the ones involving a dumpy internet chick and a debate of "to would or not to would"  :allears:

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #72 on: August 11, 2014, 05:08:47 PM »
+3
 :alex:

Let's get back on topic.

How badly is Lowtax and the Goof Troop freaking out over leaked mod forum images? This should be good for at least one meltdown.

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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #73 on: August 11, 2014, 05:12:10 PM »
+9
The moral of the story is to never get involved with a self-proclaimed rape victim
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Re: Twitter Shatters Souls, Abe "I just Can't Quit You"
« Reply #74 on: August 11, 2014, 05:15:44 PM »
+5
How badly is Lowtax and the Goof Troop freaking out over leaked mod forum images? This should be good for at least one meltdown.

I think Lowtax is probably back to his drug induced state now that the database issues were semi-fixed and couldn't tell you what day of the week it was.

Seems like the biggest posters in the mod forum are gone or stopped posting in there. A lot of the new mods seem to just mod their sub-forum and not get caught up in a bunch of shit that requires tons of posts in the mod forum.