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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 80637 times)

POST FRANK

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4375 on: April 21, 2017, 01:50:48 AM »
+7
Battle of the billionaires.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-04-20/george-soros-accused-puppeteering-government-new-lawsuit

That's pretty interesting. Also worth a reminder that ole George owes $7 billion in taxes this year, as Obama let him defer throughout his presidency.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4376 on: April 21, 2017, 04:23:32 AM »
+3
https://twitter.com/voxdotcom/status/854820667195179008

 :ultlibrage: :ultlibrage: :ultlibrage:

So your lack of knowledge regarding basic scientific principles like CONTRAST runs so deep that it all appears as racism to you? Fuck me...
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4377 on: April 21, 2017, 06:42:07 AM »
+1
https://twitter.com/voxdotcom/status/854820667195179008

 :ultlibrage: :ultlibrage: :ultlibrage:

So your lack of knowledge regarding basic scientific principles like CONTRAST runs so deep that it all appears as racism to you? Fuck me...

WE WUZ CHEMISTS N SHEEIT

EDIT: WE LUVS SCIENCE N SHEEIT TOO NIGGA
Fuck signatures.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4378 on: April 26, 2017, 04:28:37 PM »
+3
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/26/travel/bunny-death-united-trnd/?iid=ob_mobile_article_readmore_pool

Quote
(CNN)United Airlines has taken another blow to its image after a giant, apparently healthy rabbit died following a transcontinental flight.

The bunny was found dead at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, the same place passenger David Dao was dragged off a United flight earlier this month -- dragging United's reputation through the mud.

Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4379 on: April 26, 2017, 04:33:10 PM »
+5
O'Hare seems to be employed entirely of sheboons based on my experiences flying to and from there.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4380 on: April 26, 2017, 04:46:25 PM »
+5
A dead rabbit?  At O'Hare airport?  :burnslol:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4381 on: April 26, 2017, 05:44:29 PM »
+3
Giant rabbit at O'Hare, you say? Wouldn't happen to be green, would it?


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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4382 on: May 11, 2017, 07:57:55 AM »
+5
https://twitter.com/BBCAfrica/status/862630386517585920

:tom:

I hope whoever writes these tweets is having fun

Block D. Sun

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4383 on: May 11, 2017, 12:21:01 PM »
+6
Africa is the Florida of continents.

And now, a story that most definitely has legs... or fins (yuk yuk yuk):


Quote
Jimmy John’s Founder Denies He Is Nude Man Pictured Humping a Dead Shark


by KATHERINE RODRIGUEZ

The founder of the Jimmy John’s restaurant chain denied that he is the person that posed naked humping a shark in a photo circulating social media Tuesday.

Jimmy John Liautaud is the latest high-profile figure to deny being the subject of the shocking photo, which started making the rounds on social media Friday, the Daily Mail reported.

Deadspin reported that Florida Gators football coach Jim McElwain also denied that he was the subject of the photo on Monday.

The photo has gained a lot of traction on social media, with many users wondering who is the man in the photo.

“Who is this man? Please RT, find him & ask him why he did this? Where is the humour in humiliating slaughtered animals?” British wildlife TV presenter Anneka Svenska asked on Twitter Friday.

At first, internet users suspected McElwain as the man in the photo because his toothy smile looked a lot like the man in the photo.

“I don’t know who it is, but it isn’t me,” McElwain said at a press conference Tuesday with his wife by his side.


Then, internet users turned their attention to Liautaud, the Jimmy John’s founder, because he has a toothy grin and a penchant for hunting game.

According to a 2015 Chicago Tribune article, Liautaud talked about his love of hunting animals from rhinoceroses to elephants and posing with them in photos.

“I choose to hunt and I choose to fish,” he said. “Everything I’ve done has been totally legal. And the meat has been eaten, if not by me than by someone I’m with. I don’t hunt big African game anymore.”

A spokesperson for Jimmy John’s however, denied these accusations, saying the man is not Liautaud and is not affiliated with Jimmy John’s.

As curiosity about the photo continues to circulate social media, the mystery about the mysterious man’s identity is growing.

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/05/10/jimmy-johns-founder-denies-he-is-nude-man-pictured-humping-a-dead-shark/

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4384 on: May 11, 2017, 12:38:53 PM »
+10
Shark skin is smooth in one direction, but very spiny in the other, so humping a shark is liable to end poorly.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4385 on: May 11, 2017, 06:49:20 PM »
+2
I would have guessed a fatter Gary Shandling.
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4386 on: May 11, 2017, 06:53:19 PM »
+2
I would have guessed a fatter Gary Shandling.

Shandling's deader than that shark though.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4387 on: May 15, 2017, 05:22:01 PM »
+6
Unitarians beginning to consume themselves from the inside over "institutionalized racism"

“A few weeks ago, a hire was made in the Southern Region, for Regional Lead.  The person they hired was a white, straight, cisgender male (a colleague, for whom I have sympathy and support as he begins his new job).

The facts of that hire, however, made the leadership of the UUA wildly and disproportionately white, and male.  For an explicitly anti-racist, anti-oppression organization, this was/is a problem, and a clear symbol of the larger problem of institutional racism that most of us realize is a part of our infrastructure – an infrastructure we have committed to transform."

https://uubeaufort.org/2017/04/04/rev-peter-morales-resigns-as-president-of-uua/

"To begin: are we institutionally racist and is our system built to perpetuate white culture and supremacy? Of course.  Though we have tried, are trying, keep trying to do better, we are a part of the wider US culture, and therefore not immune to these forces.  We are also institutionally sexist, homophobic, *trans-phobic, classist, ableist – and we swim in all sorts of other isms and phobias.  Generations of Unitarians and Universalists and Unitarian Universalists have perpetuated these systems consciously and unconsciously.  This is true in our wider Association, and it is surely true in our individual congregations – including our own."

I asked a Unitarian what the "church" did for the Mother's Day service, and she said that they brought in a black Unitarian to lecture them on how racist they all are.

So even the most liberal church in the world just isn't liberal enough...

Also the head of the church who resigned because of this crap was indeed Hispanic,  those damn racist Hispanics.

« Last Edit: May 15, 2017, 05:27:29 PM by Trigger Word: Everything »
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4388 on: May 15, 2017, 05:41:32 PM »
+10
I have less respect for Unitarians than I do for even Internet Atheists.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4389 on: May 15, 2017, 07:38:29 PM »
+5
Fagboy Trudeau, in this astonishing video, spends 18 minutes repeatedly dodging the very simple question "How many times have you met with the ethics commissioner?"

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLdEYw3ginA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLdEYw3ginA</a>
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

OZMA CURES HAM

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4390 on: May 15, 2017, 08:12:15 PM »
+8
People were going gaga over him wearing Star Wars socks to an important cabinet meeting. Can you imagine if Trump did the same thing?

 :ultlibrage: HOW DISRESPECTFUL!! OBVIOUSLY DRUMPTH DOESN'T TAKE HIS JOB SERIOUSLY!! IMPEACH HIM!!!!

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4391 on: May 15, 2017, 08:27:10 PM »
+2
Fagboy Trudeau, in this astonishing video, spends 18 minutes repeatedly dodging the very simple question "How many times have you met with the ethics commissioner?"

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLdEYw3ginA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLdEYw3ginA</a>

Is this a Monty Python skit? What in the hell?

Answer the question, son-of-fidel! Your dodgy schtick just sends the opposition party into a frenzy as they try to get a straight answer from your liehole.

On the other hand, well trolled, Mr. Trudeau, well trolled.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4392 on: May 16, 2017, 09:58:33 AM »
+6
I didn't watch the video, but is it gayer than the time he memorized a bunch of science stuff and wanted someone to ask him a question about it and no one did, so he just started blurting out what he had memorized even though no one had even cared to ask?

As a white male I

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4393 on: May 16, 2017, 10:44:46 AM »
+2
I didn't watch the video, but is it gayer than the time he memorized a bunch of science stuff and wanted someone to ask him a question about it and no one did, so he just started blurting out what he had memorized even though no one had even cared to ask?

Well now he's blurting out what he's memorized... 18 times.

It's like a turbo Rubio but with maximum smugness.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4394 on: May 16, 2017, 03:06:55 PM »
+1
Jesus Christ does he have a half beaner tan going on.  :stonk:


Quote

I just wanted to live a normal life.  Have a wife and kids, be a father.  But then my other side tells me that I want to get breast and butt implants and get a job working as a plus size model for Victoria's Secret.

As a white male I

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4395 on: May 16, 2017, 04:04:37 PM »
+8
Jesus Christ does he have a half beaner tan going on.  :stonk:

That's just the cuban paternal bloodline showing.

Please Delete This

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4396 on: May 16, 2017, 04:07:50 PM »
+2
http://www.indystar.com/story/news/crime/2017/05/12/father-used-plastic-bat-defend-his-son-aggressive-goose-now-hes-heading-court/101589394/

Man beats canada goose, charging his son, with bat and gets fined :downs:

James McDaniel says he did what any parent would do if an aggressive animal was attacking their child. He admits to hitting a Canada goose with a plastic Wiffle ball bat after he says the bird started chasing his 4-year-old son, Ethan.

“A goose actually came from the other side of the field… and proceeded to go full wing span and chase after my son,” said McDaniel.

He says he grabbed the only thing around: his son’s plastic bat.

“So I swing one time, he [the goose] kind of topples over, I grab my son… and I ran across the street,” said McDaniel.


« Last Edit: May 16, 2017, 04:10:00 PM by Please Delete This »
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Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4397 on: May 16, 2017, 09:22:26 PM »
+13
Anytime a goose gets hit with anything solid, an orphan gets a new heart.  :nixon:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4398 on: May 17, 2017, 04:10:34 PM »
+3
Whether he needs it or not.
Yes, that is me on my Rocket Cycle with my enormous penis.


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