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Author Topic: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday  (Read 583179 times)

Aran

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4800 on: July 10, 2017, 11:52:06 AM »
+5
She's not "ugly"

She's extraordinarily homely.


There's a difference.

Listen to Aran, his expertise of chicks no one else would step close enough to slap in the face is unparalleled.

How's your sister been anyhow?

How's your "wife" who won't bear your children because the most failure she can endure in her birth canal is 3 inches?


My wife is doing well, and neither of us want children still.

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4801 on: August 04, 2017, 09:40:38 PM »
+3
Remember the homely/ugly chick I posted about on the previous page? She's moved on and has been dating gender ambiguous guys on Tinder and is completely and totally over her ex (she still lives with him). She drops this  :parsons: post in the thread then deleted it once people jumped her shit (lol). Fortunately, someone quoted her sperg wall of  :888:

Quote from: Xibanya
:goonette: I was discussing my autistic cousin with my mom when I suddenly realized that my ex probably has Aspergers and this explains everything. (I know, an explanation isn't important.) I don't mean this in the pejorative sense of like an asshole on the internet, but it somehow hit me that most of the times he had hurt me or pissed me off were when he did things very similar to what my cousin might do, and I don't get upset with my cousin because I've set my expectations based on how I know he thinks. I didn't think to draw the parallel, maybe because my cousin is high-ish functioning but his autism is pretty obvious when you speak to him for more than 5 mins whereas Dude is highly expressive in his speech and gestures.

By similar I mean things like Dude missing commitments for infuriating reasons (like not leaving the apartment to pick up a friend who needed a ride at the agreed upon time because his hair was wet) or him expecting me to read his mind (like when I mentioned there was a play in town I wanted to see, he didn't remark on it or seem interested. I texted him about it too, but he didn't answer, so I bought a ticket for myself, then the night of, as I was getting ready to go, he asked about his ticket, which I didn't get because he didn't seem into it. He really did want to go but he didn't say anything. It wasn't even a "oh I forgot to tell you," he just took it for granted I'd take care of things) or being stunningly insensitive and rules lawyering around my exact words (like when I was ready to go to a fancy dinner I'd arranged for his birthday, all in my makeup and dress and everything, he asks if he can go donate blood first, I say, trying not to lose my shit, that he's the birthday boy, he can do what he wants, and he actually fucking goes and does it, then seems stunned that I was upset about that later since I did say it was his birthday and he could do what he wanted.) or just being weirdly hung up on things that don't matter (we went to a talk in town about a Unity 3D thing; it turned out to not be that great and I was hungry, so I quietly told him we needed to split. He agreed it wasn't that great but didn't want to get up and leave while the speaker was talking. I got up and left. I texted him telling him to get his ass out of there so we could get dinner, but he steadfastly refused despite not even having a good time, because the speaker wasn't done presenting.) or being unwilling to show me love in the way I needed (like when I told him that I needed him to literally tell me in words on a regular basis positive things he thinks about me and he refused, saying his feelings should be obvious from his actions. I find out from mutual friends that when I'm not around he talks at length about how great I am, yet he doesn't see a need to tell me those same things.) oh also the complete lack of interest in sex and how he always seemed really into my hair but not so into my boobs or gams or whatever.

Well I guess the real clincher is that his mom thinks he has Aspergers but he insisted she was wrong and I discounted the possibility that she was right because he's so expressive and can hold a conversation about pretty much anything, unlike my cousin, who will only speak at length about foreign currency or One Punch Man. Also Dude liked hugging me whereas my cousin can't stand to be touched by anyone, even his mom.

Of course it doesn't make a difference now, and I still don't want to go out with him anymore but seeing it through this lens makes me feel better. Ugh everyone always tries to diagnose their exes. I guess if anything writing that up was good therapy for me.


Quote from: Huntersoninski
You say it's therapeutic but in 5 years, looking back on this moment, will you be happy you spent this time dissecting the actions of and diagnosing someone you're not in a relationship with, or do you think you'd be happier looking back at times spent focusing entirely on yourself, your projects, and moving past it?

It's tough but you seriously have to work really hard, probably even harder than the average recently-single person, on derailing these trains of thought early and leaving them dead, because you don't have the luxury of cutting him altogether out of your life. So you have to cut him thoroughly out of your mind. You KNOW this makes no difference. You're just dwelling now. Live for 5 Years From Now Xibanya from here, they give a lot more of a shit about how you're doing now than your ex does and are way more entitled to your mental effort.

Quote from: endlessmonotony
Jesus fucking christ this post.

I'm just gonna add to this because .

You broke up with him over a lack of intimacy. This isn't the first time this has happened with you. You keep posting on about how you don't care about him. You said he expected you to be a mind reader, and yet you expected him to realize you had broken up before you actually broke up. (Indeed, moving on before telling him.)

Tell me, did you just tell him you were unhappy in the relationship because of a lack of intimacy and fail to take any initiative to fix the problems yourself? And I do mean real initiative, instead of "I guess he'll get over feeling weird because I've told him not to" and maybe one or two token efforts?

Your sadbrains couldn't be more obvious if you had a crystal skull and transparent skin.

Quote from: Meridian
"He's autistic! I'm depressed! It explains everything!"

The Breakup Megathread is full of gems waiting to be mined.




LITERALLY A RAPIST

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4802 on: August 04, 2017, 09:47:05 PM »
+6
Quote from: Xibanya
:goonette: I was discussing my autistic cousin with my mom when I suddenly realized that my ex probably has Aspergers and this explains everything. (I know, an explanation isn't important.) I don't mean this in the pejorative sense of like an asshole on the internet, but it somehow hit me that most of the times he had hurt me or pissed me off were when he did things very similar to what my cousin might do, and I don't get upset with my cousin because I've set my expectations based on how I know he thinks. I didn't think to draw the parallel, maybe because my cousin is high-ish functioning but his autism is pretty obvious when you speak to him for more than 5 mins whereas Dude is highly expressive in his speech and gestures.

By similar I mean things like Dude missing commitments for infuriating reasons (like not leaving the apartment to pick up a friend who needed a ride at the agreed upon time because his hair was wet) or him expecting me to read his mind (like when I mentioned there was a play in town I wanted to see, he didn't remark on it or seem interested. I texted him about it too, but he didn't answer, so I bought a ticket for myself, then the night of, as I was getting ready to go, he asked about his ticket, which I didn't get because he didn't seem into it. He really did want to go but he didn't say anything. It wasn't even a "oh I forgot to tell you," he just took it for granted I'd take care of things) or being stunningly insensitive and rules lawyering around my exact words (like when I was ready to go to a fancy dinner I'd arranged for his birthday, all in my makeup and dress and everything, he asks if he can go donate blood first, I say, trying not to lose my shit, that he's the birthday boy, he can do what he wants, and he actually fucking goes and does it, then seems stunned that I was upset about that later since I did say it was his birthday and he could do what he wanted.) or just being weirdly hung up on things that don't matter (we went to a talk in town about a Unity 3D thing; it turned out to not be that great and I was hungry, so I quietly told him we needed to split. He agreed it wasn't that great but didn't want to get up and leave while the speaker was talking. I got up and left. I texted him telling him to get his ass out of there so we could get dinner, but he steadfastly refused despite not even having a good time, because the speaker wasn't done presenting.) or being unwilling to show me love in the way I needed (like when I told him that I needed him to literally tell me in words on a regular basis positive things he thinks about me and he refused, saying his feelings should be obvious from his actions. I find out from mutual friends that when I'm not around he talks at length about how great I am, yet he doesn't see a need to tell me those same things.) oh also the complete lack of interest in sex and how he always seemed really into my hair but not so into my boobs or gams or whatever.

Well I guess the real clincher is that his mom thinks he has Aspergers but he insisted she was wrong and I discounted the possibility that she was right because he's so expressive and can hold a conversation about pretty much anything, unlike my cousin, who will only speak at length about foreign currency or One Punch Man. Also Dude liked hugging me whereas my cousin can't stand to be touched by anyone, even his mom.

Of course it doesn't make a difference now, and I still don't want to go out with him anymore but seeing it through this lens makes me feel better. Ugh everyone always tries to diagnose their exes. I guess if anything writing that up was good therapy for me.

david hedgehog irl

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4803 on: August 06, 2017, 08:56:03 PM »
+3
Quote from: Xibanya
:goonette: I was discussing my autistic cousin with my mom when I suddenly realized that my ex probably has Aspergers and this explains everything. (I know, an explanation isn't important.) I don't mean this in the pejorative sense of like an asshole on the internet, but it somehow hit me that most of the times he had hurt me or pissed me off were when he did things very similar to what my cousin might do, and I don't get upset with my cousin because I've set my expectations based on how I know he thinks. I didn't think to draw the parallel, maybe because my cousin is high-ish functioning but his autism is pretty obvious when you speak to him for more than 5 mins whereas Dude is highly expressive in his speech and gestures.

By similar I mean things like Dude missing commitments for infuriating reasons (like not leaving the apartment to pick up a friend who needed a ride at the agreed upon time because his hair was wet) or him expecting me to read his mind (like when I mentioned there was a play in town I wanted to see, he didn't remark on it or seem interested. I texted him about it too, but he didn't answer, so I bought a ticket for myself, then the night of, as I was getting ready to go, he asked about his ticket, which I didn't get because he didn't seem into it. He really did want to go but he didn't say anything. It wasn't even a "oh I forgot to tell you," he just took it for granted I'd take care of things) or being stunningly insensitive and rules lawyering around my exact words (like when I was ready to go to a fancy dinner I'd arranged for his birthday, all in my makeup and dress and everything, he asks if he can go donate blood first, I say, trying not to lose my shit, that he's the birthday boy, he can do what he wants, and he actually fucking goes and does it, then seems stunned that I was upset about that later since I did say it was his birthday and he could do what he wanted.) or just being weirdly hung up on things that don't matter (we went to a talk in town about a Unity 3D thing; it turned out to not be that great and I was hungry, so I quietly told him we needed to split. He agreed it wasn't that great but didn't want to get up and leave while the speaker was talking. I got up and left. I texted him telling him to get his ass out of there so we could get dinner, but he steadfastly refused despite not even having a good time, because the speaker wasn't done presenting.) or being unwilling to show me love in the way I needed (like when I told him that I needed him to literally tell me in words on a regular basis positive things he thinks about me and he refused, saying his feelings should be obvious from his actions. I find out from mutual friends that when I'm not around he talks at length about how great I am, yet he doesn't see a need to tell me those same things.) oh also the complete lack of interest in sex and how he always seemed really into my hair but not so into my boobs or gams or whatever.

Well I guess the real clincher is that his mom thinks he has Aspergers but he insisted she was wrong and I discounted the possibility that she was right because he's so expressive and can hold a conversation about pretty much anything, unlike my cousin, who will only speak at length about foreign currency or One Punch Man. Also Dude liked hugging me whereas my cousin can't stand to be touched by anyone, even his mom.

Of course it doesn't make a difference now, and I still don't want to go out with him anymore but seeing it through this lens makes me feel better. Ugh everyone always tries to diagnose their exes. I guess if anything writing that up was good therapy for me.

david hedgehog irl

I would actually love to have a chat with her cousin because foreign currency is pretty interesting. Especially Israeli shekels. There's weird demonic faces hidden on them. Look up the Series B 100 shekel bill.

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4804 on: August 06, 2017, 10:59:29 PM »
+7


Go back on your meds

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4806 on: August 07, 2017, 06:42:54 AM »
+2
I don't see any demonic faces besides the one but she totally left out about how many baby foreskins were made into that shekel note

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4807 on: August 07, 2017, 10:54:50 AM »
+3
It's very well hidden, but it's there.


free temporary image hosting

So you can get a better idea of what it is:

free temporary image hosting

There's a lot of cool shit hidden on both American and foreign currency. On the latest US $10 bill, if you take it apart layer by layer, there's actually a flip-book style animation of New York being flooded by a tsunami. Not to plug, but I made a video on my channel going into detail about the 100 shekel bill face at length: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssxFCR8Ol1Y

But anywho, I'm no sperg but I could probably talk to this goonette's cousin about US and foreign currency for hours and blow his spergy mind. I would tune him out if he started talking about One Punch Man though.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2017, 11:01:04 AM by [SWOLE]Mandy »

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4808 on: August 07, 2017, 11:25:41 AM »
+4
Good video.  Really makes you think.  Will watch more.

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4809 on: August 07, 2017, 11:34:17 AM »
+8
That's really cool Mandy, we would love to hear your thoughts over in the trading thread

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4810 on: August 07, 2017, 11:44:27 AM »
+6
That's a good idea.  A certain ethno-religious group tends to be in charge of international finance.

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4811 on: August 07, 2017, 04:26:29 PM »
+2
That's a good idea.  A certain ethno-religious group tends to be in charge of international finance.

Is this a fancy way of saying Dave the streetshitting savage dominates the trading thread with nonstop 888 EURUSDX and muh Tesla?

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4812 on: August 07, 2017, 09:12:15 PM »
+4
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rh2g-jw3tQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rh2g-jw3tQ</a>

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4813 on: August 07, 2017, 09:59:12 PM »
+4
Mandy, if you can become this

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn9Oc-AyFeQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn9Oc-AyFeQ</a>

with your craziness, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. You'll be okay. And cool. (er).
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4814 on: August 29, 2017, 12:47:28 PM »
+9
More relationship woes from goons.

From the goonette I posted a page ago-

 :geithner:
Quote from: Xibanya
I haven't had sex since November of 2015
But in seriousness:
I hear what you're saying. I'm just gonna ride this out though. In all my past relationships I've always been the one who initiated and the one who aggressively pursued. So I'm not gonna pursue but if something happens then I'll let it happen. If something doesn't happen then that's also fine. Could be that this guy is just making overtures of friendship too, I mean, nothing explicitly non-platonic has transpired. Who knows, maybe he'll be a new close friend.

    Through wacky happenstance I saw pics of my ex-fiancÚ with his current girlfriend and she's less attractive than me in every way. That's a petty thought and I'm not gonna dwell on it but it was a fun coda to everything.

I just want to bold the entire thing. Error self respect not found. :parsons:

Quote from: Michael Scott
Oh cool this has a thread!! Hi everyone. My name is Michael Scott, and I'm going through a breakup.

I met a girl 15 months ago off of Tinder. We hit it off and things had been going fairly wonderfully ever since. I wasn't sure I wanted to date anyone from the start, but she said she really fell in love with me and wanted to convince me. I said yes.

Fast forward until a week ago. She's at a party at a friend's place in a far suburb. She asked me to pick her up and I wasn't able to. That night in the middle of the night, she sends me a couple hateful texts along with telling me she wants to break up. She ended up cheating on me that night and told me about it in the middle of breaking up with me.

I called her trying to understand what happened, perhaps a few too many times, and she blocked my number from her phone and blocked me on Facebook. I now have no way to communicate with her, after a year together.

We were just short of living together. She was here every night, and we said we loved each other more times in a week than I could count. We hugged and hugged every day, and slept in the same bed every night and woke up together. I felt wonderful, and I thought she did too. She said she did, but apparently didn't mean it.

Echoing listrada's excellent posts though I don't know your full story, I'm so sorry. My apartment feels extremely empty, as does my life. She helped me pick this apartment out for myself. I've never stayed more than a couple nights in it without her by my side. Now I've likely lost her forever.

Has anyone in the thread gotten back together after cheating happened? I know it's a corner case and obviously against conventional wisdom, but stuff's complicated, y'know?

Part of me says sex is just sex, and it was impulsive unlike an affair.


The question is kind of separate to the situation because she ALSO wants to end the relationship, but theoretically if she didn't or changed her mind, I'm curious about the precedent there. That said I'm mostly giving up hope.


This goon has advice in regards to getting back with a cheating partner (he had been with this chick 4 years)  :tuss: :tuss: :stonk:

Quote from: Emery
Hey fellow cheated on goon! I thought I might beat the odds on that, getting back with my ex after she cheated. Here's the thing: it never truly works. If all it took was one time that you couldn't come pick her up and she gets wasted and sleeps with someone, and you go and apologize or she apologizes or whatever, then what happens the next time she wants you to do something and you can't? You'll always have that question in your mind, even if she never does it again. I know it's hard because it's fresh, but if that's all it took, you're better off without her, and you certainly don't owe her forgiveness in return for the good things she's done for you.

She made a choice, that choice hurt you, and that choice has consequences, so unless she owns that shit in a BIG way, and I mean MASSIVE, bail while you have a chance.

edit: Consider me a cautionary tail. My ex cheated on me with 5 guys in a month and I took her back because of the terrible emotional state I was in. I figured if not her, then I'll die alone, so let's try again after she promised over and over not to cheat on me. She then spent the next 8 months attempting to cheat on me, getting caught, but being just shy off bad enough to call cheating, until finally I caught her with no way to make an excuse, broke up with her, tried to fix things AGAIN because of my terrible emotional state, and eventually ended up in an inpatient program so I didn't off myself.

Don't be like me, because it might not be as bad as that, but it's gonna be bad.


27 years old, lives with girlfriend and her parents, thinks he can fix someone who is broken and wastes 4 years of his life doing so. Also, her OK Cupid profile stated she didn't want children but he wants kids and his parents want grandbabies. lol just lol good luck changing her mind on that one!

Quote from: Moochewmoo
Well jeez how does one start here. Four and a half years together. Living together for at least 4 so far. Man am I worn out. We've had our ups and downs for sure but it's really feeling like downs from here on out. SO has depression and PTSD from some real bad people in her life. I work real hard to be supportive as best I can. But lately it just seems to mean she can be a total dick to me without repercussions because if I get upset she starts crying and clams up. Last night when we were discussing some doctor stuff she told me I said something repeatedly that I one for a fact I didn't say, and when she finally copped to it she just smirked and said well I thought it. I already have a poor memory at times and shit like that makes me second guess myself in a really bad way. So when I got upset that she was kinda of fucking either my head like that she starts crying and won't say anything. Actually she clams up about literally everything. Like I work really hard to get her to have input from dinner to what we should do about an encroaching wildfire and I might as well be speaking to a wall. Every time it's all on me to make choices for us. I finished my paramedic and with that I got a job offer for a place 1800 miles away since I did my internship there. Whenever I ask what she thinks about place A or B she just goes "I dunno" and goes right back into her phone.

I've tried to get her to get help for her depression and psych health. I've told her money isn't an issue because my family would pay for it. She went to a counselor like 5 times then stopped going. When I suggest maybe upping or changing meds she freaks out and tells me how much worse she is off her meds and how she refuses to try other drugs because clearly this is the only one that will ever work. She doesn't even see a doctor it's a nurse practitioner. Sure they're qualified but they simply aren't a doctor.

We're living with her folks right now. They're good people and like me a lot. They want grandkids someday and every time I try and speak about children I get reminded that she put no children on her OKC profile and that's the end of the conversation. Which is fine but if I say that okay well then maybe someday I'll find someone to raise a family with the water works start and I'm the biggest asshole on the planet.

I'm tired of working so hard at this with someone who can't get out of bed and complains about literally everything thing. I need to fucking grow up and just break up with her. I have to because this is wearing me down so badly. I could just take that paramedic job and move away and be fully self sufficient with me and my dog. But I'd still feel responsible for her. I've been responsible for her happiness for so long that I'm scared she'll hurt herself once I'm gone. She used to do a lot of self harm. We're 27 years old. This is fucking crazy.

I wish she'd just get better.

Edit: gdi I'm so angry I just want to cry. I wish I could tell her in so frustrated and things but as soon as I say I've thought about a break-up it's total shut down with no where to go. I've lost count of how many times I've asked her to get help for her mental health. I just want to grab all my shit and move to my folks until I can then move on to that medic job.

He wants kids but cannot be mature enough to talk to his gf face-to-face about their issues. He leaves the room she is in so he can text her his feelings. Fucking hell

Quote from: Moochewmoo
We talked last night. Well really I spoke at her while she was wrapped up in a blanket playing games on her phone. We are leaving for her folks place tonight. Once we're back up there I'll fix my car (hit a deer moving us up there) and then I'll move myself back to my folks. I went to bed in the other room and we had the same text message conversation we've had a million times before. "welcome to mental illness" "why are you making me feel like shit" "I only complain about everything because you do" (I said the forest fire smoke gave my headaches).

You are all right. I moved in with her because I wanted out of my folks place and needed to start school. She was my first relationship after a other long term relationship. I guess the worst part is I feel like a complete bastard for being selfish. But I get a shot at the freshest start possible. Gonna meet lots of new people when I move South. But cutting out the part of my brain that feels responsible for her will be very difficult, just going to take some doing.

Thanks for your responses. I'll post progress in a week. That way if I lose my spine you guys can kick my ass about it.


This nubnuts still lives with his ex and caves in to her demands....but not this time!!

Quote from: deadly_pudding
It's just like, fuck you? You don't get to haul your broke, dumb ass out of the bedroom that I pay for and order me around any more. If she expects to come home from her job (!!!) and find leftovers from dinner tonight, she's mistaken. That pork roast, that's the thing that is thawed, is gonna take like at least an hour to cook, and I'm not gonna want to deal with it after spending an hour after work at the gym. I'm having eggs for dinner.

I'm like *this* close to just actively treating her like she's a bad child to her face. Clean your room, or you're grounded. She's like 5 years older than me, how is this a thing

Some realtalk happens and goon gets jumped on for being a dick. Can't hurt anyone's ~*feeeeeeeelings*~ in the breakup thread!

Quote from: Irving
Wow, sounds like you're really standing up for herself. Not making food for her, hardcore!

Just kidding it sounds like you're a complete fucking doormat. Kick her out, man, what are you waiting for?

 lol
Quote from: deadly_pudding
lmao you just described a crime. I would go to jail. There's a thing called a lease, and it's a legally binding contract.

I'm well aware that this is a hell of my own creation. It's very difficult sometimes. Maybe I just need to vent my petty grievances in a thread sometimes, huh? I navigated this person's fucking emotional landmines for almost 6 years, so give me the benefit of the doubt a little here. She shuts the fuck down at the slightest sign of adversity, and that's not helpful for anybody, so I scream into the void here because releasing my full venom directly onto her is just going to get me a basket case who never sleeps and actively antagonizes me instead of just passively doing it.

So maybe don't be a fucking dick because I want her to figure out her shit and move out on her own, instead of becoming a nightmare banshee who tells me she's suicidal on a daily basis, which is what she was approaching until she finally got a job last week. I can deal with regular "is a bitch who treats me like garbage". That's what I dealt with for like 2/3 of this relationship. What I can't deal with the constant stress of coming home and bracing myself for a corpse, maybe.

You know? It's not great. I can't even talk to my friends about how much I hate her guts, because it's all the same social circle. I can only express this shit to strangers on the internet.

 :nixon:
Quote from: Irving
She is not your problem.

Is she actually paying rent? If not, stop paying her share and she'll get out of the lease on her own. If you can't kick her out MOVE THE FUCK OUT! Break the lease, pay the fine, move on with your life. You're allowing yourself to be held hostage in the hopes that she'll wake up and do the right thing. She's not going to do that, so stop living in a fantasy and move on with your life.


lol again
Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, no, New York is one of those states where you can't weasel out of a lease easily. If my understanding of how renting works here is correct, the "fine" is the rest of the year's rent. I'm not gonna nuke my own credit in a pathetic bid to take my ex's down with me lol. I like how you seem to think I didn't spend like a solid 2 months obsessively exploring my options to the extreme detriment of like every area of my life after I broke up with her. Are you one of those Three Olives bourgeois goons who can just afford to move on demand? That must be fucking nice.


 :parsons: :parsons: :parsons:

Quote from: Hoffadoff
So I feel like complete shit. The woman I've been dating for the last 6 years is leaving me. The worst part is that it's my fault she's going. I've treated her like complete shit for a really long time and I can't blame her for finally leaving. But I really don't want her to. I love this woman to death and I've always wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Shes been trying to get me to change for so long and actually act like a human being and love her and treat her with respect and not like a piece of trash. And I know I'm a piece of shit because now that she finally is gonna leave I'm crying and begging her to stay and telling her that I'll change.

What really sucks is we have a child together. I feel like such a fuck up. Like I've let my son down because I couldn't be a healthy adult and love his mother instead of just fighting and calling her names. I feel even worse for the way I've treated her. I sit here and say that she means everything to me and I don't know how I'm gonna live without her but I've never acted like. I've done nothing but be a complete bastard to her and now it's over and I don't know what to do.

Anyway sorry goons. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff and I needed to get it off my chest. So why not to random internet strangers that will tell me I'm a complete moron.



Stay tuned for more broken brained morons on the next episode of "Days of the Lives of Goons"





blasting_asshole

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4815 on: August 29, 2017, 04:23:33 PM »
+6
Here I am all pissy over the fact that it might possibly rain on Sunday when I'm supposed to play golf and I can't switch tee time, because we're busy all labor day weekend. A real test of matrimony over here. :rolleyes:

E/N always makes me feel great. The "breaking the lease" ones are my all-time favorite. "I can't get outta this, guys! We're stuck in this several thousand dollar filthy NYC hovel together, GOD DAMMIT! NO, I CAN'T JUST KEEP MYSELF OUT AND ABOUT WITH EVERYTHING NYC HAS TO OFFER BECAUSE ALL MY MONEY GOES TO RENT! I'M TRAPPED IN THIS VIBRANT PRISON WITH HER!"
« Last Edit: August 29, 2017, 04:40:54 PM by blasting_asshole »

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4816 on: August 29, 2017, 05:22:40 PM »
+5
Here I am all pissy over the fact that it might possibly rain on Sunday when I'm supposed to play golf and I can't switch tee time, because we're busy all labor day weekend. A real test of matrimony over here. :rolleyes:

E/N always makes me feel great. The "breaking the lease" ones are my all-time favorite. "I can't get outta this, guys! We're stuck in this several thousand dollar filthy NYC hovel together, GOD DAMMIT! NO, I CAN'T JUST KEEP MYSELF OUT AND ABOUT WITH EVERYTHING NYC HAS TO OFFER BECAUSE ALL MY MONEY GOES TO RENT! I'M TRAPPED IN THIS VIBRANT PRISON WITH HER!"

Deadly_pudding is a gigantic trainwreck. I'll get more of his relationship failures and post them!

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4817 on: August 30, 2017, 04:13:53 PM »
+11
I present for your consideration- The Heartbreak of deadly_pudding in Many Posts or The Man Too Pussy to Say No. This is going to be long so grab a cup of coffee and some popcorn!


How his saga starts in the E/N breakup thread- May 11th 2017

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I think I'm finally pulling the trigger on this one. You may have seen me hemming and hawing in other threads before! I think I probably have undiagnosed depression symptoms that stem from my almost comically low testosterone for a man of my age, so I may be extraordinarily bad at prioritizing my self-interest

Anyway, I technically broke up with my girlfriend like a year and a half ago? But she very quickly guilted me into taking it back because she knows I'm apparently pathologically motivated to frame myself as "reasonable and tolerant." And now I just kind of feel like I'm some kind of emotion hostage because I couldn't put on my big boy pants and sever.

There's been basically no emotional or physical intimacy in our relationship for like 3 years. This is both of our faults. When the aforementioned low testosterone started causing weiner problems, she took it mega personally and thought I was unattracted to her, and over time I developed an aversion to even trying because there were so many angry, sex-adjacent blowouts. So now we're like roommates that are comfortable being nude around each other.

Anyway, she can't control the volume of her voice when she has earbuds in, so I know that she's been having cam sex with foreign dudes on her phone when she says she's taking a nap. I confronted her about it this morning because she wouldn't stop pressing me about why I'm mad at her, and apparently I'm the asshole for "ruining her day".

And like, yeah. I get that this situation is 50% of my fault. I didn't try to fuck her for like 3 years. But she didn't try with me, either. She hates being touched on like 70% of her body because she's a self-loathing fat girl, she doesn't like kissing. She hates being breathed on! I have weird shoulder problems because she wakes me up and makes me roll over at night so I won't breathe on her, so I've just been sleeping on my bad shoulder for years. She just wants somebody to efficiently bone her like a robot without acknowledging or touching her body, which I'm like the least qualified person in the world for. Keep in mind, these were all things that she disguised until after we moved in together. OR I GUESS MAYBE I'M JUST SUCH A BAD LAY THAT SHE DEVELOPED THEM AFTER, I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

She also has a really shitty attitude, and a toxic personality. This is all shit I let slide because for the longest time I felt like I had an obligation to her. We moved in together way too early because we were both broke as hell, I needed a fourth roommate to dilute rent, and she needed to get out of her parents house. And for that first year, she covered the majority of the grocery bills because her income was more reliable than me, and she's just been lording that over me ever since. As soon as I finished my degree and got a real job, she became a NEET for a year and then went back to college full-time, so as far as I'm concerned I don't owe her anything on that front. She also holds over my head the fact that we only have a car, after my old car's transmission died while I was delivering pizzas (), because one of her friends was leaving the country and needed to offload his car cheap. She constantly uses "gay" as a pejorative, she treats all our friends like shit and they put up with it because they're all sadbrain nerds like me. She drew a frosting dick on our friend's birthday cake the other week and keeps asking him when the last time he had sex was (it's not recently! FUCKING RELATABLE).

She looks down on my nerd interests like crazy. I think she put up with it for the first year of the relationship, and then started leaving the room whenever I started watching anything in Japanese . Roleplaying is a dead hobby because involving her means that setting any kind of mood will be impossible because she thinks genres are stupid and just wants to bully NPCs and make fun of me for using the word "taint". I also have to be paranoid about having my mic on if I'm playing games or trying to stream something because she likes to burst into the room and ask me humiliating questions about my dick, or ask me if I like to suck dick. She claims to have tourette syndrome, but it's not diagnosed and I'm pretty sure she just likes to make me uncomfortable.

Anyway, the thing chiefly preventing me from letting this sentiment stick is the misguided sense of chivalry that makes me want to not make a person homeless, but like fuck it. She has friends. One of the aforementioned nerds has like a full apartment that he's not using in the basement of the house he owns. The car is mine; it's in my name and the payments on it were transferred from my bank account. I like the bed, but I'm not gonna try to buy her out of the half she paid for it because my budget is stretched to the breaking point just taking care of both of us. I'll actually be able to save up for things when I'm not buying her food and paying her phone bill! I'll sleep on my couch for a month and then order a Casper or something.

The other problem is that her name is on the lease and the lease doesn't end until July or something, so it's not like I have the ability to just kick her to the curb. I have no way of instantly severing, which means I have to be around for the ensuing full week+ of her wailing and crying, and generally being a suicide risk.

I really wanted to wait a week to have this conversation until after she finished finals, but apparently I'm a bad actor and she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong, so I ended up telling her what I know this morning and now there's just gonna be fucked up emotional tension until I either withdraw like I always do, or tell her to get out of my apartment in 2 months.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
She accelerated the process by texting me "are you breaking up with me" right before my lunch break, so you can imagine I'm having a very productive day at the office. If I'm lucky she'll get that job and move in with our friend. Otherwise I'll have an excruciating next couple of months while the lease ticks down.

I just want to like, start the process of moving on with my life.

I didn't want to do a text message breakup, dammit.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
My hands are kinda tied on that one. She still doesn't have a job and I can't afford to pay any more than I already do in rent right now. I definitely can't double it.

It's looking likely that she'll end up moving into our one friend's house with the basement apartment, though, so hopefully I won't have to worry about it. She's also being a lot more calm about it than I was expecting, which I guess means her brain meds are working, so I shouldn't have to worry about crazy times. Probably



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah. Thanks for helping me collect my thoughts on the matter, thread

I ended up breaking up over text, which is not what I wanted to do. She sent me a "are you breaking up with me" text in the middle of my work day~

The post-breakup logistics fucking suck. I need to call my landlord next week and see if I have options in the event that I want to renew the lease with just my name on it at the end of July. I'm seeing a worst-case scenario, where I live in my 2-door car for 2 months, because I have to make us both homeless out of spite because I can't actually afford to line up a different apartment for myself without like 6 months of planning while actually paying rent.

I really hope our friend with the apartment in his basement takes her on.
There's also a tertiary scenario where I go live there, instead, but I think that's not actually viable because I'm pretty sure that any move that makes my ex homeless on purpose probably sours me for people who are our mutual friends



So in May, he goes on about wanting her out of his place by August. It seems as if he is getting some self respect and may actually grow some balls and kick the crazy bitch to the curb. Hooray! Before you get your hopes up, realize this is a  :parsons: goon who is co-dependent.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, I can totally rent a room around here in a shared house for like $300-$400 a month. That sucks, but it's what I'll have to do if she doesn't properly agree to vacate when the lease is up. I'm not signing a lease with her name on it again. She can either figure out something before the end of July, or stay in denial right up until I load my shit into a U-Haul. I'll probably have to come up with a plan with the landlord to deal with her stuff/cleanup afterwards so I can still get the deposit. I've seen this before with like regular roommates who drag their feet until the day their replacement is supposed to move in.
 


May 14th, 3 days after he posted his "I'm done for real!!" post. TL;DR he sleeps on an air mattress and has a plan to boot out his ex


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Progress report:

I'm hanging in there. I bought an air mattress because it turns out my couches fucking suck. She's going through like the stages of grief over here. She finished denial and/or bargaining yesterday sometime. Now she's mostly just pissed at me/our friends (she got shot down by our guy with the apartment in his basement, and her other friend won't let her couch surf), and also freaking out about living with her parents again.

But also like, it sounds like she's pissed because they basically just treat her like a normal tenant? Like, she has the rooms she's allowed to use, and the rooms she's not allowed to use, and that sounds like pretty normal "room for rent" situation to me.

I'm selling/bartering my kinda shitty car to her at the end of June, mostly as a "actually leave on time" bribe, because I've looked into it and I can scrape together a $1000 down payment by then if I actually try, for a used Camry or something that will be better than my 2010 Hyundai that's had its sparkplugs foul twice. And like, all of the ways of getting out of this thing with finality pretty much involve me spending at least $1000. Plan B was to get a loan to cover the deposit/first month of a new apartment and paying off the current one, and then just peacing out like 2-4 weeks from now . So, I'm pretty neutral on that topic. I've already spoken with some dealerships here. Because I'll have a down payment and I'm only looking at like a $10k vehicle, they pretty much don't give a shit that I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy 4 years ago because I also make like $50k at my job.

So, the timeline pretty much looks like:

    Now-June 30: sleep on an air mattress and just try to live a little more frugally than usual to get that car money. Landlord needs a signed letter from the ex stating that she will vacate herself from the lease July 30. Ex starts getting a stipend from her summer entrepreneurship bootcamp at the university, so she'll pay for some damn groceries.
    June sometime: visit the dealership and actually have them run the financing check to make sure they aren't just being optimistic with me.
    June 31 - early July: Complete the paperwork for transferring ownership of my car, so I don't have to juggle my insurance policies at the dealership.
    July: Still sleepin on an air mattress.
    July 30: Last possible day for the ex to move out.
    August Sometime: order a Casper or something so I have a real bed again.
    February: Holy fuck I can actually save up meaningful amounts of money again and by now I have enough to pay for dental work on my horrible mouth, because of course there's no dental on my health insurance



Now that Air Mattress Casanova severed, he has pussy waiting in the wings for him. Getting out of bad relationship then immediately getting into a new one is always a great idea.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
I can kind of understand that. After the breakup, I reactivated some of my old social media accounts and within like fifteen minutes a woman I've had like flings/short dating relationships with in the past contacted me, and we've really been hitting it off. I'm kind of glad that my ongoing fucked-up living situation is forcing me to take it slow by necessity, or I'd probably be liable to rush like directly into something with this girl who's very familiar to me, but doesn't have a history of emotional abuse like my ex.

That said, we're seeing each other on Friday, but it's just gonna be like a casual hangout at a local festival. I'm mostly just really happy to have somebody I can be like, emotionally candid with. I felt incredibly isolated with my ex. She drove off the couple of remaining friends I had still living here from college, and all our remaining friends were her friends first. I didn't feel like I had anybody to talk about my problems with, which I think is partly why I tried to tolerate so many red flags for years. I had to tread on eggshells constantly around my ex because she would hold her anxiety disorder over my head and make me feel like I wasn't allowed to be upset or uncomfortable with things.

Finally telling my ex to her face that there are exactly 2 outcomes of this situation, and they both involve me not living with her any more after the lease ends in July, was like ripping off a band-aid, and I feel a lot more free now even though I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room


Someone said they would talk to his ex about his love for nerdy things

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Be my guest, but good luck getting in touch if you're not an Iranian she can string along so she can look at middle class dongs without the risk of ever making physical contact or even being in the same time zone

Imagine spending years letting somebody convince you that you're a loser because of the media you like to consume, and then realizing that actually you're the successful one and this partnership is completely one-sided. I'm sorry you picked one paragraph out of my "oh fuck oh shit I need to psych myself up into kicking this person out of my life" essay with which to defeat me.

It's been like five days and I already feel better than I have in years, even though I'm still contractually obligated to share the apartment with her until July. I bought an air mattress. I'm probably being stalked by an old flame, but it's keeping my mind off of things

My ex is furnishing a letter stating that she will vacate the premises by July 31, and I'm meeting with my landlord on Monday to seal the deal.
After she moves out, I'm gonna go Marie Kondo on my apartment and throw out all the clutter that we accumulated as like a dysfunctional self-sustaining infinite depression loop couple. I'm gonna make that place fucking spotless and it's going to be really cathartic.



lol

Quote from: deadly_pudding
COOL GREAT my ex's parents just decided she can't move back in with them. Now she's a mega basket case again and I have to like talk her through figuring out cheap student housing over the next 2 month


May 23rd  :adam:

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Update: so around 11pm last night she started loudcrying in the other room, then she started full-on shrieking and throwing things. I ran the fuck out of the house building with an armload of clothes, drove to a nearby grocery store, and called the cops.

Anyway, the officers don't think she's going to hurt herself, but I was feeling wildly unsafe. I'm currently freezing my ass off in a cheap motel room. I think I need to call in from work today. I got like 4 hours of sleep because of this.

Fucking, I don't know what the next step here is. I wanted to work with her and keep things civil. Like, she has 2 fucking months to figure out housing. I already signed the new lease so now I'm not even sure if getting the fuck out is on the table for me. I need to know if she's going to be like civilized, because I can't sleep in that apartment if I think she's going to have like a fucking psychotic break.

edit: decided not to call in, I'd rather be sleepy at my office than like wait for my ex to pick up her damn phone.


 :facepalm:

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Housing fallout update! Now she's framing the fact that I technically hold the power to not buy her food or let her use my car as abuse, which she is going to try to use to expedite her way into student housing. This is because, in a heated phone conversation earlier today, I told her once that I wasn't sure if I trusted her enough to stay in the apartment and keep buying her groceries.

Mind you, I'm driving her to a job interview on Friday.

Apparently I'm the piece of shit for being spooked by her ear-splitting banshee screams in the middle of the night.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
My ex is finally bouncing back a little from her parents telling her she can't move back in. She's got hella job interviews scheduled, and she found a room that she can rent for like $360 a month starting in July sometime. She's still like sullen af and she unilaterally renounced like 3 friendships over not being able to live in our buddy's basement.

I'm still bribing her with my shitty car, and I'll probably throw in the old minifridge that I just use for soda. My concern is letting her get too comfortable again, because like, I don't want to spend a single day longer cohabitating with her than I absolutely have to. Like, if she's not moved out and August 1 rolls around, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do
She won't be on the lease any more, and my landlord is pretty enthusiastic about getting her out of there, but also I've kinda gotten the impression that it's really hard in a lot of states to just like have somebody dragged out of your apartment if they lived there for a while, and if you evict then you have to evict everybody in the unit.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
I consider it more of a convenient way to unload the car that I hate >_>. Seriously, this car has been nothing but trouble. The spark plugs have fouled like 3 times, and only the first time happened during the warranty. It also needs belt work and the air blower will probably die again this winter. It's a 2010 car and one time it failed an emissions test This is mostly an excuse for me to get a much nicer (used) car and then not be constantly nagged into giving my ex rides with it for the remaining month and a half of the lease after. I think it has a KBB value of like $1500 before the work it will need in the next 6 months. Effectively I'm trading the car for a bunch of furniture I still like that she bought, plus a paltry sum of cash.

And yeah, I already hand-delivered a signed letter from my ex to the landlord stating that she will voluntarily leave the lease at the end of July, and vacate the apartment. I also have already signed the new lease from August 1 2017-July 31 2018 that only has my name on it. But I'm still really anxious about dealing with like the emotional fallout of kicking her to the curb on August 1 if she doesn't have her shit figured out by then.


I edited this post to cut out irrelevant shit

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I'm choosing to just try to live my life for now, because I was driving myself nuts with anxiety and contingency plans, and if she doesn't have a timeline for moving out by like July then I'll start asking my landlord what it takes to process her as a holdover, seeing that I have documentation filed stating that my ex intends to move out, and a signed lease starting August 1 that doesn't have her name on it any more.

Stepping back and not really caring about her emotional state any more has really helped. I've told her to stop asking me for things so I can save up for some things I'll need, like a bed. I'm still going through with my decision to offload my car onto her, because it seems like the most direct way to avoid spending 30+ days experiencing what it's like if my landlord starts to strongarm her, since she'll need a car to like get to a job and campus in this city with a public transit system so bad that I don't know why they bothered. I also hate that car, so that helps.

I'm also talking to a woman I used to date for a bit before I met my ex, and we're kinda hitting it off again. She slid directly into my DMs when I reactivated some dating profiles after declaring the breakup, haha. I think that on some level it's good that my living situation is fucked for a couple months, because it means I can't rush into something serious like a dumbass. We both had major regrets about letting our (at the time) kinda disastrous lives and schedules prevent us from going anywhere with it, and we both ended up in like catastrophic relationships with other people in the intervening years. So, we have a lot to talk about.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Also, this was my ex for like the final year of our relationship. She hides out in the bedroom like 20 hours a day if she's home, and occasionally emerges to cook something. Uh, it should be noted, Xibanya, that a major contributing factor to that behavior pattern was the fact that she's been carrying out a steamy internet relationship with somebody else for at least 6 months, as she admitted in a limp attempt to hurt my feelings a couple days ago. Originally I assumed it's because she's a hateful banshee who despises everything I do for fun and can't stand being in the room if I'm playing video games or watching anime, which is true , but also she was having cam sex on our bed with some poor bastard who's gonna be her next ex.

It kind of pisses me off even more now that we're just stuck cohabitating involuntarily, because it makes me feel like she's trying to win me back or something when she cooks a meal for both of us. Like, fuck offff.

Anyway, I checked with my landlord yesterday, and she will move to evict my ex if she's not out by August, so I no longer have to worry about that. It will be miserable being in the thick of that situation, though, so I hope she gets her shit figured out before then.


Posts from June

Quote from: deadly_pudding
This is a way better deal than cohabitating with my ex. She doesn't make any money and basically doesn't clean. If she doesn't figure out a plan in the next couple months, my landlord is going to serve her with an eviction notice and then I get to continue sleeping on an air mattress while also probably witnessing the most epic meltdown of my adult life. I'm a notorious nester who is clingy as hell, and I love being domestic and oversharing, so I can't really imagine myself ever wanting to "take a break" like that.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, she won't be on the lease any more starting in August, but I'm pretty sure I live in one of those states where that constitutes being a "holdover tenant" and so she still needs to get a 30 days notice followed by a court eviction if she hasn't gotten around to renting a room by then.

edit: Now that things have kind of calmed down, I'd *almost* consider doing what you're talking about, if we weren't living in a single bedroom apartment. Also it would still be monstrously awkward bringing other girls home with me while my ex is my roommate.
 

JFC this entire post

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Cohabitation with my ex progress report:
I responded poorly to a joke she made in bad taste and snapped at her in the grocery store. She is now refusing to speak with me. She was, however, eating the food I paid for when I left to play board games with the friends I stole from her

For reference, we were joking about alt right people getting pissed about Wolfenstein 2 and making butt hurt tweets about it being "the game where you shoot people who you disagree with". Shortly after, I disagreed with her about a flavor of ice cream and she said "I'm going to shoot you," to which I responded, "Fucking try it."

So now it's awkward being at home because there's a palpable hate aura, luckily I'm not home right now.

Also I have a date tonight! We're going to a drive-in theater for a double feature. It'll be novel as hell spending an evening with somebody who actually finds me attractive
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yyyup it's time for the month and a half where I live with somebody who refuses to speak to me because my general terseness apparently amounts to "a series of abusive microsggressions".

It's like, okay whatever. She's still going to expect me to pay for groceries. Now maybe she won't try to get me to perform emotional labor all the time, though. Like, yes I'm being terse and dismissive. Maybe the fact that I broke up with you should be considered an indicator that i was sick of your shit? Maybe don't expect me to just put up with it like I used to when you say fucked up things for shock value like a teenager on 4chan. Maybe don't expect me to care very much about drama in your group project.

Keep in mind, this is the woman who unilaterally disowned like 80% of her friends because they wouldn't let her couch surf after the breakup. Yes, your friend with a spare room in his house is going to factor in the opinion of his childhood best friend and housemate, who doesn't like you. That's how having a bond with somebody works- you care about their opinion. Like 8 years of friendship with like several people fuckin evaporated in the space of a week. It's like my ex has 2 skills: financial accounting, and holding grudges indefinitely. I guarantee you that she's going to include me in her rogues gallery of evil ex-boyfriends. I wonder if my superpower will be "manchild" or "limp dick".

The saying comes to mind, "If everybody you meet is an asshole, then maybe it is actually you who is the asshole." She has a very binary idea of who her enemies are. This goes back to like the first year we were together, when she accused me of being "against her" when I attempted to mediate her grievances with our other roommate, a (now former) friend of mine. The red flags I ignored out of a misguided sense of... I don't even know any more. The sex wasn't even that good. I guess I put up with her because I was close to rock bottom when we met.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
I'd say it boils down to how invested you are in continuing to live there. If she is willing to leave and you want to stay, push that agenda.

It sounds like you're probably going to have an easier time of it than me. I pay 100% of the rent and bills, so my ex will get a job and move out (or be evicted) by August, which means she's not strictly doing this voluntarily. It will likely get really ugly if the time comes when I have to serve eviction papers to her because she never answers the door and refuses to speak to our landlord over the phone, for some reason. I've pretty much made all the concessions I'm willing to make to bribe her to leave without a fuss, and I have a feeling there will be a fuss anyway because that's the kind of person she is

If you want to keep living in your current place, I would definitely take her up on her offer to move out.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
She already provided the landlord with a written statement that she would move out at the end of July when I signed the new lease that only has my name on it. I'm pretty safe there. She would still get the 30 days notice to vacate, though, yeah. If nothing else it would light a fire under her ass.

The real drama bomb is going to happen when I assert myself if she tries to make me wiggle further on concessions I made to make it smoother for her to get the fuck out of my life . She's supposed to take over ownership of the car before she moves so that:
a.) She'll have transportation
and
b.) I can finally replace this shitty car


I suspect she'll try to get me to keep technically owning it, which is something I absolutely will not do. If she wants to have a car, I'm not going to be responsible for its insurance and maintenance. Either she becomes the full legal owner of the car, or she doesn't get a car.

I have to type these things out into this thread sometimes to confirm my sanity, because she is the worst, most toxic, narcissistic self-victimizer I think I've ever met. Everything is a sad conspiracy against her, everybody else is an asshole for not enabling her. She's a lot more articulate than me, and she'll lay out ways that actually I'm being the unreasonable and abusive one because the idea of having bills to pay triggers her anxiety or whatever. I think she says things like, "I'm eating this cereal, is that okay? It's one of your cereals," specifically to try and bait me into saying something like, "All the cereals are technically mine," so that she can twist it into me threatening to withhold food or something.

It's very nerve-wracking, which is why I've been doing my best to distract myself with housework and video games. I also started working out again, which is uh, interesting. I gained like 30 lbs since the last time I did any serious lifting, and have also been lazy as hell, so the new center of gravity made the squats way harder than they needed to be. But I think I'll make progress just fine; my excuses for skipping gym days and eventually giving up in the past involved me giving way too much of a shit about my ex's schedule.
 

June 28th.....to the surprise of no one. She must have given him a pity handy to earn her keep

Quote from: deadly_pudding
In what is probably my most shameful moment of weakness to date, I'm letting my ex stay in the apartment. I can't muster enough malice to make her homeless in Rochester, the former murder capital of the United States

My terms were she still needs to get a job and pay for shit, and she can't rely on me for transportation any more. So now I guess I can just refer to her as my shitty roommate. She cooked like 2 meals today on her day off, and didn't wash any dishes. I'm passive-aggressively ordering Thai food for just myself as we speak, because I can't be arsed to wash like every pot and skillet I own (what the fuck, lady) and then cook something.

We're past the heated emotions/viscerally miserable to be in the same building as each other stage, and now she's just kind of this horrible loser who lives with me out of pity.

Anyway, on the bright side I'll have like several hundred dollars freed up every month because she's going to start pulling her weight in August. And if she doesn't, then I guess I will print her out a google search for food pantries [/size]
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Honestly, the situation is livable. I've established my own general space outside the bedroom, and I'm just treating it like a studio apartment that she Kramers into periodically. My chief complaint at this point is that she still doesn't clean up after herself, which is just like a standard roommate malfunction. She'll either move out on her own next semester, or I'll be able to move out easily next summer, as opposed to this year when I only gave myself like 2 months notice. It turns out my budget develops all sorts of possibilities when I'm not buying her presents or going through the motions of taking her out on dates . I'll be able to afford to see a dentist soon, and finally get my thin enamel coated again for the first time since like high school.

I have no doubt she'll find a job; her primary obstacle this summer was the fact that she's contractually obligated to not have a job outside the entrepreneurship bootcamp until it ends in August. Worst case scenario, she works as a cashier on campus, but she's in talks with an accountant recruiting agency, too.

edit: I've also been going to the gym and practicing piano again, so I have enough of my own stuff going on to not be like laser-focused on the situation any more. I'm doing okay, I'm just kinda melodramatic.
   


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, it's weird as hell. I still get mad at my ex (who I still live with, because my life is a catastrophe) when she tries to like take my dirty plates to the kitchen. Like, I feel like, in that moment, she's trying to pressure me to be domestic with her. Then later I feel like an asshole because:
a.) It's just dishes
and
b.) I'm gonna end up being the one who washes those dishes anyway
 

In July, someone asked if his ex was moving out Aug 1st or if it's dragging on and on. LOL at a woman dating a desperate man still living with his ex

Quote from: deadly_pudding
It's going to drag on at least until like springtime, but she has a job now, so there's that. I'm making the best of it. I have a date with a woman who's actually attracted to me on Sunday

I managed to make the parts of the apartment that I primarily occupy stop being eyesores with my cleaning rampage a few weeks ago, so I'm satisfied enough with that for now. After forcibly shifting my own lifestyle to a healthier state, it's kind of become clear that I had picked up a lot of her bad habits over time. I fold my laundry again instead of living out of the basket

Anyway, this time we both have effectively a year's notice to have our own shit together by the end of the lease. She'll be eligible for her co-op semester by like March or April, so if she manages to be even slightly not a fuckup, she'll objectively be making enough to either move out or stay when I move out after that.
 


So his new flame sounds like a fuckup match made in heaven

Quote from: deadly_pudding
It's pretty much drama free ~for now~. Might pick up again in a couple weeks when I start pressuring her for the rent money she agreed to start paying in August. I'm also about to ask her to please move her laundry pile back into the bedroom, which I put off for a week or so because it's insane that I have to ask an adult to please pick up their clothes from the main living area.

I've been on a few dates with an old flame. She broke up with a fiance last year, moved back here, and she's still bouncing between her sister's houses while she tries to find an apartment she doesn't hate, so she's been very understanding about my living situation. It's all kind of weird and comical, though- we're both really attracted to each other, hence why she reached out to me when I resurfaced on dating sites, but neither of us has our own place to ourselves, so we've been making out in the movie theater like stupid teenagers.

Self care is going well. I've been counting calories, eating insane amounts of protein, and lifting weights, and my limits have gone up across the board like 60 lbs or more from where I started, and I've also lost like 12 lbs since June. I'm on the second unit of the online piano lessons I'm watching on youtube, which is starting to get into using both hands at once. I've also been trying to stay on top of keeping the apartment tidy better than I used to, hence the first paragraph where I don't want clothes lying around the floor.
 

August 8th

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Is there a German word for when you realize that your kindness is a finite resource, and it's close to being depleted? I'm at like the Peak Oil of continuing to be what I previously considered to be a "good" person.

The car that I told my ex she could take ownership of, once she could pay for insurance and stuff, needed repairs this week for engine trouble, and now I'm finding myself very seriously weighing the cost/benefit scrapping the car, buying my replacement, and telling my ex to pound sand. It's fucking insane that I'm still dumping money into this scrapheap. My saving grace is that my boss gave me a standing offer to help with the down payment on a replacement car, which at this point I'll have to accept, because I spent like half my saved up down payment on repairs yesterday.

Pros: I don't have to keep this stupid shitty car alive on the pipe-dream pretense that my ex will take it off my hands when she gets a job. I stop hemorrhaging money hundreds of dollars at a time every 8 weeks when this piece of Korean garbage has a malfunction, and start having four wheel drive, and maybe bluetooth in my radio.

Cons: She will absolutely spiral into The Dark Place if I drop that on her, and I'll spend the next 10 months being reminded daily that I'm a monster for directly orchestrating her inability to go to work or school. If I give her a bus pass and tell her to deal with it, she could probably get to and from campus okay, but this city's buses are hot garbage and she wouldn't be able to use them to get to a job reliably, especially if it's at night or something. Even if I keep giving her rides places, that's a shitty compromise, and totally incompatible with the concept of her having a job someplace besides the university campus, because she sure as shit won't be allowed to borrow the new car like she does the old one.

I thought about signing up for counseling this morning, then realized I probably won't be able to afford the repair bill if I do that. I think I don't have the social tools to assert myself in a way that can't be instantly deconstructed by a guilt trip
 

August 23rd
 
Quote from: deadly_pudding
Here's the drama update you crave.

The yesterday I got scolded for not making dinner when I got home. Today I got a text message to "fucking fix it" because my ex doesn't know how to install a printer. I think she's also mad at me because Fourth Time Was The Charm for asking her to move her clothes and laundry baskets out of the main living area so I could actually clean the floors.

It's just like, fuck you? You don't get to haul your broke, dumb ass out of the bedroom that I pay for and order me around any more. If she expects to come home from her job (!!!) and find leftovers from dinner tonight, she's mistaken. That pork roast, that's the thing that is thawed, is gonna take like at least an hour to cook, and I'm not gonna want to deal with it after spending an hour after work at the gym. I'm having eggs for dinner.

I'm like *this* close to just actively treating her like she's a bad child to her face. Clean your room, or you're grounded. She's like 5 years older than me, how is this a thing
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, no, New York is one of those states where you can't weasel out of a lease easily. If my understanding of how renting works here is correct, the "fine" is the rest of the year's rent. I'm not gonna nuke my own credit in a pathetic bid to take my ex's down with me lol. I like how you seem to think I didn't spend like a solid 2 months obsessively exploring my options to the extreme detriment of like every area of my life after I broke up with her. Are you one of those Three Olives bourgeois goons who can just afford to move on demand? That must be fucking nice.
 

The end...for now. Explaining why he hasn't gotten his dick wet since 2014

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I can enlighten you on that one. I haven't fucked since like 2014. You just kind of give up after experiencing rejection enough times. In a particular emotional state, you can accept a lot of things that a healthy individual would find unacceptable, especially if you can be convinced it's your fault.

I experience erectile dysfunction at an early age because my body like actively annihilates testosterone. My doctor wants to change my medication soon because my bloodwork indicates that, after the initial uptick in blood testosterone levels, my system doubled down on breaking down the new stuff again

Anyway, my ex took that whole business extremely personally and decided that I was lying to her to whenever I said she was attractive. This, coupled with the fact that she hates her body and it gradually became a household capital crime to be physically intimate (she's fat, which I have no problem with whatsoever, but god help you if you even accidentally touch like the entire front of her, that's how you get yelled out of a dead sleep at 1:30 in the morning), I eventually just gave up. Why even try, if she hates being touched or kissed. Of course, later I found out that she's been stringing along like a small army of dudes from overseas, so I guess it's okay to be attracted to her if there's no threat of ever meeting in person.

Anyway, that's one of many ways to not have sex since 2015, while you were still convincing yourself that you needed to keep this exclusive relationship afloat.
   


Obese and Triggered

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4818 on: August 30, 2017, 05:31:29 PM »
+8
 :kaneclap:


That is one of the finest trainwreck goony dipshit situations I've ever seen. KICK THAT BITCH OUT! MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! STOP BEING A BROKEN GOON! Hahah, nope, time to double and triple down on misery.
 :trainwreck:


I wonder if this is his girlfriend:
 :trigglypuff:

Slacktivist

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4819 on: August 30, 2017, 05:48:30 PM »
+7
Bravo, I've never seen so many things that could be stopped with an authoritative No in my life.

One fly brotherfucker

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4820 on: August 31, 2017, 12:17:34 AM »
+8
E/N gives me such a schadenfreude high it should be a Schedule 1 narcotic, goddamn.

Ass Diamond

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4821 on: August 31, 2017, 01:55:05 AM »
+3
FUCKING SEVER your penis

wow post feet

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4822 on: August 31, 2017, 05:25:55 AM »
+1
mandy's wall of text from a couple pages back is basically my life except switch being a jew for having a dick, a different flavor of crazy, and i don't think my nazi daddy was buttraped by satanic cultists but you never know

a+ would recommend, huge step up in the world from pedo diaper shitting internet doodle artists

personally i put ex-jews, faggots, browns, women etc who are woke to the jew and the ideaology in general on a level between alt-lite cuckistan type people and wn's, so long as they know their place and remain outsiders to the movement most wn's will respect it. just don't try to be their /ourguy/

if being a woman is your only disqualifying factor i consider that another step between the last one and actual WN; welcome in the ideological sphere but they shouldn't be participating in boots on the ground. 
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 05:38:12 AM by Ban Wow »

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4823 on: August 31, 2017, 07:59:29 AM »
+3
mandy's wall of text from a couple pages back is basically my life except switch being a jew for having a dick, a different flavor of crazy, and i don't think my nazi daddy was buttraped by satanic cultists but you never know

a+ would recommend, huge step up in the world from pedo diaper shitting internet doodle artists

personally i put ex-jews, faggots, browns, women etc who are woke to the jew and the ideaology in general on a level between alt-lite cuckistan type people and wn's, so long as they know their place and remain outsiders to the movement most wn's will respect it. just don't try to be their /ourguy/

if being a woman is your only disqualifying factor i consider that another step between the last one and actual WN; welcome in the ideological sphere but they shouldn't be participating in boots on the ground.

« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 08:01:46 AM by Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0 »

Death Camp for Cutie

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Re: E/N: I am in therapy. I will have sex someday
« Reply #4824 on: August 31, 2017, 08:13:55 AM »
+2
Everyone I know that uses tinder ends up having short unfulfilling relationships or ends up being a serial cheater. I don't know why sadbrains goons use it.