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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 93307 times)

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4625 on: August 10, 2017, 06:18:32 PM »
+1
Harry and Charles should both claim the crown. Get a good old-fashioned medieval three-way civil war going over the British throne. I hope President Hervé Morin of Normandy doesn't get any funny ideas.

I would unironically donate money on Patreon to see this glorious spectacle.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4626 on: August 10, 2017, 06:21:30 PM »
+9
Harry should stage a coup, wipe out the parliament and the rest of the royal family and take the throne for himself. He's the only cool one of the royals anyway.

Also needs to ditch that mystery meat girlfriend of his

Harry and Charles should both claim the crown. Get a good old-fashioned medieval three-way civil war going over the British throne. I hope President Hervé Morin of Normandy doesn't get any funny ideas.

It was patched so that only one disaster can happen at a time, so the Civil War event won't fire because the Muslim Invasion disaster is currently on-going.
cry "bigot!" and let slip the troons of war

BOOpfeifengesicht

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4627 on: August 10, 2017, 06:43:19 PM »
+10
Harry should stage a coup, wipe out the parliament and the rest of the royal family and take the throne for himself. He's the only cool one of the royals anyway.

Also needs to ditch that mystery meat girlfriend of his

Harry and Charles should both claim the crown. Get a good old-fashioned medieval three-way civil war going over the British throne. I hope President Hervé Morin of Normandy doesn't get any funny ideas.

It was patched so that only one disaster can happen at a time, so the Civil War event won't fire because the Muslim Invasion disaster is currently on-going.

I forgot about the Part and Parcel DLC.
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4628 on: August 11, 2017, 01:07:25 PM »
+1
William has not aged well,good lord he looks a lot like Charles. Harry is cute af for a ginger guy though.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4629 on: August 11, 2017, 02:36:19 PM »
+2
William has not aged well,good lord he looks a lot like Charles. Harry is cute af for a ginger guy though.

I loled that William had his royal obligation to marry and breed with Jack Skellington and her permasad droopy dogs, whereas Harry is free to bust nuts all over the faces of instagram models and royal groupies.
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4630 on: August 12, 2017, 06:24:41 AM »
+9
https://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2017/08/225797/15-teenagers-treated-for-rabies-after-engaging-in-bestiality-with-donkey/

Quote
Fifteen minors who sexually assaulted a donkey in the small rural town of Sidi Kamel in the communal providence of Sidi Kacem have been treated for rabies infections received from the animal.

... but other than that, they are just like you and me.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4631 on: August 12, 2017, 06:28:54 AM »
+2
https://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2017/08/225797/15-teenagers-treated-for-rabies-after-engaging-in-bestiality-with-donkey/

Quote
Fifteen minors who sexually assaulted a donkey in the small rural town of Sidi Kamel in the communal providence of Sidi Kacem have been treated for rabies infections received from the animal.

... but other than that, they are just like you and me.


This is how the zombie apocalypse starts.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4632 on: August 14, 2017, 05:12:34 PM »
+7
William has not aged well,good lord he looks a lot like Charles. Harry is cute af for a ginger guy though.

I loled that William had his royal obligation to marry and breed with Jack Skellington and her permasad droopy dogs, whereas Harry is free to bust nuts all over the faces of instagram models and royal groupies.

If you wouldn't blast Kate Middleton's back out day after day after day, I don't know what to tell you  :lolno:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4633 on: August 14, 2017, 05:14:25 PM »
+2
William has not aged well,good lord he looks a lot like Charles. Harry is cute af for a ginger guy though.

I loled that William had his royal obligation to marry and breed with Jack Skellington and her permasad droopy dogs, whereas Harry is free to bust nuts all over the faces of instagram models and royal groupies.

If you wouldn't blast Kate Middleton's back out day after day after day, I don't know what to tell you  :lolno:

"Real men love curves!"  :madgoon:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4634 on: August 14, 2017, 10:43:05 PM »
+7
Kate's gorgeous, leggy and has the hot milf thing going on. Yeah I would be stuffing those wafers

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4635 on: August 15, 2017, 10:23:30 AM »
+3
I would have sex with her a lot.
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4636 on: August 15, 2017, 10:49:34 AM »
+3
I mean sure, I'd fuck her with her bra on, but the man is gonna be a KING.
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4637 on: August 15, 2017, 02:39:48 PM »
0
I'd love to put a little prince into that future queen's twatteroo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4638 on: August 15, 2017, 03:24:17 PM »
+1




('  )(  .)
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4639 on: August 15, 2017, 04:35:44 PM »
+2
That looks like a 4th generation VHS dub from 1986 and you can't be sure it's even her. Come on, man. Also, I always get her confused with that super hot English actress whose name I can't remember.
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4640 on: August 15, 2017, 04:42:33 PM »
+4

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4641 on: August 15, 2017, 04:56:12 PM »
0
That looks like a 4th generation VHS dub from 1986 and you can't be sure it's even her. Come on, man. Also, I always get her confused with that super hot English actress whose name I can't remember.

It was international news when those pictures leaked, and the UK govt went bananaballs trying to scrub it from the innanets. Streisand effect.
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4642 on: August 15, 2017, 05:04:31 PM »
+3
Ok, so admittedly when Kate Middleton is brought up I see Elizabeth Hurley in my brain. I need to separate the two. But you can't say the broad isn't very solid wife material. Put it in context.
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4643 on: August 15, 2017, 05:19:31 PM »
0
Ok, so admittedly when Kate Middleton is brought up I see Elizabeth Hurley in my brain. I need to separate the two. But you can't say the broad isn't very solid wife material. Put it in context.

True, she's pretty and seems well mannered.

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4644 on: August 16, 2017, 06:38:33 AM »
+10
https://www.yahoo.com/news/outrage-swiss-hotel-orders-jewish-guests-shower-swimming-114118282.html

Quote
A Swiss hotel that posted signs telling Jewish clients to shower before using the pool and restricting their access to the facility's freezer has unleashed outrage and official complaints from Israel.

The Paradies apartment hotel in the Alpine village of Arosa in eastern Switzerland is being accused of anti-Semitism after an outraged guest posted to Facebook a picture of a notice plastered outside the hotel pool.

"To our Jewish Guests, women, men and children, please take a shower before you go swimming," it said, adding that "If you break the rules I'm forced to (close) the swimming pool for you."

That is pretty funny.

Quote
The centre's head of international relations Shimon Samuels, pointed out that "the reference to 'showers' can be construed as a patently vicious reference to the fake shower (heads) in the gas chambers."

This, on the other hand, is not.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4645 on: August 17, 2017, 01:51:22 AM »
+5
http://gizmodo.com/cloudflare-ceo-on-terminating-service-to-neo-nazi-site-1797915295

Quote
Team:

Earlier today Cloudflare terminated the account of the Daily Stormer. We’ve stopped proxying their traffic and stopped answering DNS requests for their sites. We’ve taken measures to ensure that they cannot sign up for Cloudflare’s services again.

This was my decision. Our terms of service reserve the right for us to terminate users of our network at our sole discretion. My rationale for making this decision was simple: the people behind the Daily Stormer are assholes and I’d had enough.

Let me be clear: this was an arbitrary decision. It was different than what I’d talked talked with our senior team about yesterday. I woke up this morning in a bad mood and decided to kick them off the Internet. I called our legal team and told them what we were going to do. I called our Trust & Safety team and had them stop the service. It was a decision I could make because I’m the CEO of a major Internet infrastructure company.

Having made that decision we now need to talk about why it is so dangerous. I’ll be posting something on our blog later today. Literally, I woke up in a bad mood and decided someone shouldn’t be allowed on the Internet. No one should have that power.


[Cloudflare employee’s name redacted] asked after I told him what we were going to do: “Is this the day the Internet dies?” He was half joking, but I actually think it’s an important question. It’s important that what we did today not set a precedent. The right answer is for us to be consistently content neutral. But we need to have a conversation about who and how the content online is controlled. We couldn’t have that conversation while the Daily Stormer site was using us. Now, hopefully, we can.

I’ll be publishing a blog post with all our thoughts on this issue in a few hours. Until then, I’d ask that you not talk about this externally.

—-

Matthew Prince

Co-founder & CEO

 :triggered:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4646 on: August 17, 2017, 02:00:14 AM »
+18
http://gizmodo.com/cloudflare-ceo-on-terminating-service-to-neo-nazi-site-1797915295

Quote
Team:

Earlier today Cloudflare terminated the account of the Daily Stormer. We’ve stopped proxying their traffic and stopped answering DNS requests for their sites. We’ve taken measures to ensure that they cannot sign up for Cloudflare’s services again.

This was my decision. Our terms of service reserve the right for us to terminate users of our network at our sole discretion. My rationale for making this decision was simple: the people behind the Daily Stormer are assholes and I’d had enough.

Let me be clear: this was an arbitrary decision. It was different than what I’d talked talked with our senior team about yesterday. I woke up this morning in a bad mood and decided to kick them off the Internet. I called our legal team and told them what we were going to do. I called our Trust & Safety team and had them stop the service. It was a decision I could make because I’m the CEO of a major Internet infrastructure company.

Having made that decision we now need to talk about why it is so dangerous. I’ll be posting something on our blog later today. Literally, I woke up in a bad mood and decided someone shouldn’t be allowed on the Internet. No one should have that power.


[Cloudflare employee’s name redacted] asked after I told him what we were going to do: “Is this the day the Internet dies?” He was half joking, but I actually think it’s an important question. It’s important that what we did today not set a precedent. The right answer is for us to be consistently content neutral. But we need to have a conversation about who and how the content online is controlled. We couldn’t have that conversation while the Daily Stormer site was using us. Now, hopefully, we can.

I’ll be publishing a blog post with all our thoughts on this issue in a few hours. Until then, I’d ask that you not talk about this externally.

—-

Matthew Prince

Co-founder & CEO

 :triggered:

First comment on the blog on their own website:

Quote
Cloudflare cries out in pain as it censors you

:tom:
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4647 on: August 17, 2017, 06:59:01 AM »
+5
that is insanely fucked up
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Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4648 on: August 17, 2017, 09:30:41 AM »
+12
 They actually opened the door for liability.
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blasting_asshole

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4649 on: August 17, 2017, 11:16:27 AM »
+15
I used to work for one of CloudFlare's competitors. Allow me to be perfectly transparent about what I did and what their business is.

Shitty 1 size-fits-all, pre-packaged and mass produced content delivery for websites who need to boost their site fast and with little to no effort.

IE: I work for a web-marketing firm that collects metadata based on page presentation. We sell "products" to test UI behavior and marketability, but the products don't actually matter. We make $0 through actual product sales. The products are only sold so we can gather marketing data on how users arrive at ordering the products. Each individual website doesn't really matter either. Those are small picture. We churn out 20 dummy sites a year. Sure they work and people go to them, but they're ads that are just a tool to collect marketing info.

One of those sites sells fireworks and the fourth of July is around the corner. With that, we anticipate a spike in traffic, for that specific site. We don't want the site to crash under traffic, but it wouldn't be tragic if it did. We're not here to sell products and the products sold off that site aren't keeping us in business so why waste time, money and resources hiring a techie to replicate our site across a complex network of high-quality CDN nodes? On the flip-side, the profit outweighs the cost of using a pre-packaged CDN such as CloudFlare for the moths of May/June/July, so heck... Why not?

Best case scenario: The load gets balanced and we get our marketing data.

Worst case scenario: CloudFlare fucks the site to complete shit. We spend a month spinning up a replacement. We lose a few bucks, but the loss wouldn't outweigh the cost of a quality CDN solution. Even if judgement day comes and CloudFlare fucks up some of the functionality, we can just act like it's catastrophic and have some intern work with CloudFlare support to restore service. And even if they manage to make it worse.... whatever. We'll pitch a hissy fit all the "lost revenue" as leverage for a refund, when in reality all they've done was accidently chopped off a tail that'll grow right back in 2 weeks.


Why subscribe? Because you're a small website, a lazy website or both. You've employed a bunch of front-end devs and no real infrastructure support. You'd rather outsource all the witchcraft that goes on in the back end to outside providers.

*Because you're a Nazi site who can give you 1,000 reason why Jews are a menace to society, but can't really be bothered to figure out web content replication and resource offloading*

-Akamai is too complicated/too expensive/too much product.
-AWS = rocket appliances.

So you copy and paste a cName, have CloudFlare walk you through a simple DNS migration and BOOM. Now your site can kinda handle a lot more traffic, but sometimes not. Sometimes nodes fail, sometimes the chink engineers release a shitty update that gets rolled back ASAP, sometimes the code breaks and takes the whole site down and sometimes it'll fuck up a plugin such as Magento which handles all credit card processing and now people can't buy shit and haven't been able to buy shit for the past 3 days, but you didn't even know it, because there's no alerting for that. Alerting costs extra and all you have is RayGun.


What it means when a CDN such as CloudFlare "takes your website down." It means they've decided to stop replicating it. The site is still there, at the origin. It's probably slow and unstable (lol it was unstable before too, but now it's super unstable because the CDN plugin code is still in the meta section and they've gone and fucked you over by disabling and not deleting the code.) But it's still there.

Once you load balance it again, everything goes back to normal.

http://gizmodo.com/cloudflare-ceo-on-terminating-service-to-neo-nazi-site-1797915295

Quote
Team:

Earlier today Cloudflare terminated the account of the Daily Stormer. We’ve stopped proxying their traffic and stopped answering DNS requests for their sites. We’ve taken measures to ensure that they cannot sign up for Cloudflare’s services again.

This was my decision. Our terms of service reserve the right for us to terminate users of our network at our sole discretion. My rationale for making this decision was simple: the people behind the Daily Stormer are assholes and I’d had enough.

Let me be clear: this was an arbitrary decision. It was different than what I’d talked talked with our senior team about yesterday. I woke up this morning in a bad mood and decided to kick them off the Internet. I called our legal team and told them what we were going to do. I called our Trust & Safety team and had them stop the service. It was a decision I could make because I’m the CEO of a major Internet infrastructure company.

Having made that decision we now need to talk about why it is so dangerous. I’ll be posting something on our blog later today. Literally, I woke up in a bad mood and decided someone shouldn’t be allowed on the Internet. No one should have that power.


[Cloudflare employee’s name redacted] asked after I told him what we were going to do: “Is this the day the Internet dies?” He was half joking, but I actually think it’s an important question. It’s important that what we did today not set a precedent. The right answer is for us to be consistently content neutral. But we need to have a conversation about who and how the content online is controlled. We couldn’t have that conversation while the Daily Stormer site was using us. Now, hopefully, we can.

I’ll be publishing a blog post with all our thoughts on this issue in a few hours. Until then, I’d ask that you not talk about this externally.

—-

Matthew Prince

Co-founder & CEO

 :triggered:

"We’ve stopped proxying their traffic and stopped answering DNS requests for their sites." = "decided to kick them off the Internet"

For all you plebs out there, it takes about 5 minutes to register your DNS with another host. As far as proxy traffic, CloudFlare is hot garbage and they have 20 or so better competitors. I speak from experience. The company I worked for was pretty much a chink VC's quick money play. When the firm sold the company and dumped all their positions, all the employees stole everything from the office that wasn't nailed to the floor. I just up and left with my company laptop, some t-shirts and a few beers from the fridge. Nobody batted an eye. Hilarious situation where the CEO gathered us together to break the news and knew what the consequences were. Great guy about it. Basically like "Yes, yes, I know how it goes! steal everything. Not like it matters, none of the losses are my problem anymore." At the time we were better/faster/cheaper than CloudFlare.

“Is this the day the Internet dies?” He was half joking, but I actually think it’s an important question. It’s important that what we did today not set a precedent. The right answer is for us to be consistently content neutral. But we need to have a conversation about who and how the content online is controlled. We couldn’t have that conversation while the Daily Stormer site was using us. Now, hopefully, we can."

You are not the gatekeeper. You are 1 out of 20 mainstream content delivery solutions. Out of those 19 others, you're the more expensive and shitty side of the business.

It was a decision I could make because I’m the CEO of a major Internet infrastructure company.
You are not the CEO of THE major internet infrastructure company. You're one shitty one out of a hundred who do the exact same thing at a WAYYY greater capacity.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2017, 11:49:47 AM by blasting_asshole »