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Author Topic: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition  (Read 15362 times)

Rocket

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #25 on: January 09, 2014, 06:42:21 PM »
+1
Look at all that shit you typed that I didn't read
Don't do anything this person does.
Yes, that is me on my Rocket Cycle with my enormous penis.


Agent of Aspieonage

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2014, 06:44:38 PM »
+5
It would maybe help goons feel better if, instead of depression, just start asserting that you have come down with a case of sulkamania.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN THIS ZOLOFT RUNS WILD ON YOU, BROTHERRRRRR?
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

White Power Superhero

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #27 on: January 09, 2014, 06:46:24 PM »
+1
Hey goons, living at home with your parents during your early/mid twenties is not necessarily a bad thing. Living with them when you're older isn't bad if you're taking care of them.

I for example live at home because it saves all of us money we don't have, and I'm close to school and work. Others have similar situations that suit living at home TEMPORARILY.

The bad thing comes from the habits and holes you dig for yourself being an adult living in the comfort of your own home. It allows for mediocrity and stagnation, and stifles personal growth in character and maturity. Try to combat this fact.

1. Have a plan of leaving the house EVENTUALLY

Save up some cash. Stop buying so many steam games and anime figures. Even if you work a shit retail job, it's still a step up from most goons because you're actually employed. Consider what your grandparents made out of nothing. Consider your grandfather's work in mineshafts and factories, and how he managed to provide for his family. Consider older blacks who provided for THEIR families, attended colleges, with zero of the rights they have today. Different time and different era or not, these things are possible if it's what you want to do, if you're driven. Having a shitty burrito job can make things possible. You just have to WANT to. It may not be the perfect life, but it is a START. Sit down and have an adult discussion with your parents and work out a realistic plan to get things on your feet and running, in a practical and achievable manner.

2. If you're a student, keep a forward momentum. Challenge yourself. Have a plan that goes beyond school.

Don't be a fucking permastudent. Think about your studies, what it MEANS to get a degree in your field. Think about job options. Have a back up plan. MARKET YOURSELF. It's more than just taking classes on 19th century queer theory. Explore internships, make connections within your department, within other departments. Make meetings with your professors discussing career options that fit you, and things you can do to jumpstart your marketability. Ask your professors for letters of recommendation, or to hook you up with people who can only strengthen your success. Look into other accredited skills you can aquire and certifications (teaching licenses business certificates, foreign language, professional writing, leadership summits, etc). Apply to internships, study abroad, present theses at conferences to buff your academic CV so that you're not just another nameless average student with below average, aimless credentials.

Don't use school as padding. There's room for exploration, but form a concrete plan and goal, and accomplish it.

3. Consider taking up a trade

Vocational schools are not bad and if you find yourself floundering at a University, they are things to consider that still require discipline, skill, and knowledge from you as an apprentice and student.

« Last Edit: January 09, 2014, 06:55:01 PM by Cactus Kid »

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #28 on: January 09, 2014, 06:53:07 PM »
+2
Look at all that shit you typed that I didn't read
Don't do anything this person does.

You mean have my own house, vehicles, dog, career, going to school, having a girlfriend, going to parties, 465lb deadlift, 6 minute mile run? :smug:

Regardless, cis scum has further cemented his status as gooniest poster in this forum with this 888 OP

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #29 on: January 09, 2014, 07:33:59 PM »
+3
You know what?  Most of this advice boils down to do something instead of sitting around letting life happen to you and coming up with excuses why you have no agency to change your miserable life.

I get that not everyone wants the whole career, home ownership and kids thing.  If that's not your thing, then work a shitty job until you have enough money to go back-packing through Asia/South America.  High school students do this - there is no reason why an adult cannot.

There's almost nothing you can do outside your cave which won't enhance your life in some way and make you a better human being.  Even activities done purely for fun and which you do badly still enrich your existence. 

Stop waiting for the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect social circle and the perfect hobby.  Learn to enjoy what you already have and build on it - if you change your attitude you might realise that life doesn't have to be perfect to be good.

I've done a lot of things in my life but now that I'm on the wrong side of 50 another 20 or 30 years still doesn't seem like enough time to do all the things I still want to do.  Don't waste your youth.  Don't sit around planning to get your shit together "some day".  Take some fucking risks and stop being afraid of life - you don't have an unlimited quantity of it to squander.

Aran

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #30 on: January 09, 2014, 07:53:32 PM »
0
Look at all that shit you typed that I didn't read
Don't do anything this person does.

You mean have my own house, vehicles, dog, career, going to school, having a girlfriend, going to parties, 465lb deadlift, 6 minute mile run? :smug:
Step off my coattails, dawg.

[PRONOUNCED]'Lĕh-'nérd 'Jib-léts

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #31 on: January 09, 2014, 09:07:49 PM »
+1

No see my anxiety and living at home aren't like those fucking goons...

bongo bongo

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #32 on: January 09, 2014, 09:14:25 PM »
+4
oh great our very own E/N thread, send this turd to the niggerplex already

Aran

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #33 on: January 09, 2014, 09:36:25 PM »
0
Dear E/N,

I had sex tonight and my wife loved it but now I want to go again and she needs to go to bed to get up early for work so we'll have to do it in the morning instead.

:(

Danger-Weiner

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #34 on: January 09, 2014, 09:40:36 PM »
+2
Dear E/N,

I had sex tonight and my wife loved it but now I want to go again and she needs to go to bed to get up early for work so we'll have to do it in the morning instead.

:(

pitysex.txt
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

Aran

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #35 on: January 09, 2014, 09:41:08 PM »
0
Dear E/N,

I had sex tonight and my wife loved it but now I want to go again and she needs to go to bed to get up early for work so we'll have to do it in the morning instead.

:(

pitysex.txt

Laidislaid.pdf

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #36 on: January 09, 2014, 09:43:57 PM »
0
FELONY.RAPE.ATTEMPTEDRAPE.2014.01.09-002.tiff

cis scum 1.0

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2014, 09:46:10 PM »
+4
see aran the thing is when you mention that you have sex at best people feel revolted and at worst they also feel pity for your wife

Aran

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #38 on: January 09, 2014, 09:48:34 PM »
0
see aran the thing is when you mention that you have sex at best people feel revolted and at worst they also feel pity for your wife

How does it feel to imagine me having sex.

Be detailed.

Danger-Weiner

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #39 on: January 09, 2014, 09:56:25 PM »
+6
see aran the thing is when you mention that you have sex at best people feel revolted and at worst they also feel pity for your wife

How does it feel to imagine me having sex.

Be detailed.

it's a lot like those commercials where the hamburger falls in slow motion with all the pieces flopping into place perfectly aligned
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

Aran

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #40 on: January 09, 2014, 09:57:41 PM »
0
So Tuss views sex with me as falling into place perfectly.

Danger-Weiner

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #41 on: January 09, 2014, 10:01:16 PM »
+1
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

professional lurker

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #42 on: January 09, 2014, 10:05:01 PM »
0
Change title to "Watch and Weight Introductory MEGATHREAD."
"I'm really boring. My current hobbies right now are playing Animal Crossing on the DS and... I dunno, I did a bit of knitting last night for the first time in months after boy broke up with me over the phone (I can only cast on and knit stitch though). I surf the internet like every other person in the entire fucking world. I constantly have ideas that I never follow through on. I want to be a nurse someday. I want to drive. I nearly got my licence a few years ago but blacked out at the wheel due to my (90% now-cured) anorexia and haven't driven since."

Small Bart

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #43 on: January 09, 2014, 11:22:31 PM »
0
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Cy60odOnUc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Cy60odOnUc</a>

Hey goons, how does it feel knowing that private fucking pyle was more successful than you in pretty much every way.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2014, 11:25:30 PM by Small Bart »

As a white male I

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2014, 01:15:46 AM »
0
Hey goons, how does it feel knowing that private fucking pyle was more successful than you in pretty much every way.



Also this is a good thread. A lot of these things should be standard procedure for any functional human being, and if a goon wants to actually become something else then a blubbering slob, they should take heed.

Fat

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2014, 01:29:43 AM »
0
Dear goons if you ever have to move back with mom and dad please turn your dota 2 fund into rent money to repay them for their kindness instead of regressing into some 300 pound 12 year old.

White Power Superhero

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #46 on: January 10, 2014, 04:07:30 AM »
+1

No see my anxiety and living at home aren't like those fucking goons...

Why do you think I AM/WAS a goon?

I have goony tendencies and issues, and plenty of goony faults. and let me tell you, they are not pretty. But I've lived on my own, have struggled, and have worked two shitty jobs to barely make bills and rent, all while being a student. Rather than deal with the bullshit, I'd rather focus on my studies that aren't dead end and are getting finished very, very quickly due to having attended college in high school as well, have a definitive plan for moving out this spring, and am all set for graduation with a couple degrees that go beyond a bachelors. I won't even be in the US anymore.

So no, I'm not like those fucking goons. I may not be a five reagan SS hero, but just because you are a goon doesn't mean you have to stay one. Sue me.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2014, 04:35:22 AM by Cactus Kid »

lex luthz0r

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #47 on: January 10, 2014, 07:04:02 AM »
0
Problem: Being a goon, fat, lonely, depressed, anxious, unmotivated, unemployed amongst a long list of disorders.
Solution: Cis Scum's 5 Step Plan To Growing the Fuck Up


At a New Year's Eve party, I ended up spending a considerable amount of time drinking with this mid-20s guy, who complained all of his problems. Most of them were self-inflicted, easily solvable and the product of not growing up. A lot of his problems were similar to a lot of E/N and general threads about fatherhood/depression/relationships/etc.... I told him he needed to grow the fuck up and, once he does, his life will stop to suck so much. 90% of the problems you all suffer from could be solved by making just day to day changes. No more “soda addictions” and getting panic attacks reading twitter or lonely friday nights.

The solution is right in your face: You need to grow the fuck up and start acting like an adult. If you look back even a few decades ago, by the time you were in your early 20s you were expected to be married, have a career, probably a couple of children and work toward owning your own house at the minimum. The truth is that there is no reason for you not to be behaving like an adult even if most of the people around you suffer from arrested development and still act like teenagers well into their 20s. It's not an improvement that society tolerates this, it's a sign of shitty parenting from an entire generation who were themselves raised by people who had no idea what to do.

Here's what I told him to do in a convenient 5 step guide to making this the year when you finally grew the fuck up and stopped being such a depressed sad sack:

1. Establish a morning routine.

Humanity craves rituals and repetition, this is hard-wired in us. This is also an extremely important tool when working on yourself. Repeat something long enough, it becomes second nature. Keep that going on long enough, and it just becomes an integral part of you. That's the key to bettering yourself, forcing yourself to go through the motions at first until it becomes automatic and eventually part of your personality.

If you're over the age of 21, you need to act like it and the key to it is to begin as soon as you wake up in the morning. There are a lot of advantages to a productive morning routine: puts you in the right mindset, maximizes your time, makes you more presentable and prevents accidents from not being thoroughly prepared.. It sets up you're day perfectly and gives you great motivation and there are so many studies that show how great an impact it has on those who adhere to one strictly. Having a lazy Sunday should be an occasional thing, not an every morning experience. Being in university is no exception. Every morning routine should be strictly adhered to and include:

20 minutes of working out
Grooming yourself
Dressing properly

You should not just be sitting around, drinking coffee and reading bullshit on your computer until you go 'oh shit I have to leave' and then rush through everything. You should follow up it like it's the fucking army. Wake up, start coffee, use bathroom, get changed and start working out within 20 minutes of waking up. Within an hour you should have showered and be dressed as well. Being an adult means being productive, and if you learn to actually use your time properly in the morning it's going to affect the rest of your day as well.

2. Take care of yourself

The human body is also a finely-tuned machine, and the way you treat it will impact everything in your life. The key to positive mental health is through a healthy body. Being fat is not a good thing, and neither is being a slob. You might not have been graced with the best genetics but you will always feel better about yourself and the world will treat you differently if you put some effort in your presentation.

Physical activity also releases hormones in your body that will help balance your mood, feel relaxed and positive. Being in shape (versus being thin but out of shape) will do wonders for your self-esteem. Not only should you take care of your body but presentation as well. There is no excuse to dress like a slob, even on the weekend. You should make an effort to make sure you always get dressed in the morning, forget about lounging around in boxers on days off.

If you work at a gaming company you shouldn't necessarily show up wearing a three piece suit, but for fuck's sake don't show up wearing jorts and sandals. You're an adult, a "relaxed' dress code doesn't mean you should dress like a fat teenager at science camp.  You're probably unable to buy clothes that fit you well on your own but go to some clothing stores (for adults) and get experienced staff to give you a hand. You should be able to find people who are not fucks and want to help you rather than get a commission.


3. Establish sport/physical activities during the week

Yes, separate from the morning workout. Morning workouts are great to make sure you're constantly active every day and making small and consistent gains, but the main workout should be separate physical activities/a sport that take 2-3 hours a week at the very least. Can be lifting, rock climbing, jogging, football; doesn't matter as long as it's physical, frequent and you enjoy it. Sticking with a physical activity where you see concrete results over time, both physical and in terms of the activity itself does tremendous for both physical and mental health.


4. Pick up a new hobby (and stop playing so much video games)

Taking care of yourself when you wake up helps boost self-confidence. So does becoming physically fitter and dressing better. Hobbies (outside of video games and computers) will do the same when they lead to concrete results. The problem with video games is that while it gives you instant gratification since the ratio of effort versus result is pretty low, but it does not give you anything concrete. Whenever someone from SA links to a steam account, you guys generally have an average of 20 hours+ a week of video games. Over a decade, that's more than 10,000 hours. If you had spent that time playing violin (or any other instrument), to paint or any other skill, you would be close to an expert at that point. We're talking about being able to pretty much play anything alongside the best in the world, etc...

What's left after 10,000 hours of video games? Nothing. Some steam cred I guess. It might have been fun, but you've gained zero. It's the human equivalent of that scientific experiment where a lizard is given a choice of food or a button that delivers an electric shock that lights up its pleasure center in the brain. Inevitably, the lizard will choose the fake pleasure over what is necessary for him to function, until he starves to death.

If you spent even half of the time you play video games and started a few hobbies over a decade, you could have ended up being able to:

speak fluent [language]
play [instrument]
know how to [skill]
be a decent player at [sport]

on top of still playing thousands of hours of video games. Wouldn't it be better for you in 10 years to look back at the past decade and have gotten good at someone else than mashing the same buttons and never accomplishing anything? Concrete hobbies will actually give you tremendous benefits in life. Sitting around mashing at buttons is not going to ever matter or help you except kill some time until you die.


5. Keep a schedule and possibly journals

If you're not used to do everything that needs to be done immediately and tend to push off everything, you're going to struggle following a morning if it's not written down. So write down your morning schedule, print it out and make sure everything morning you go through each and every step. Keep it up on a wall or something until you know it back and forth and you've been doing it consistently for months. Shit, if you need to fire up excel, make a chart and tick a box every time you do it in the morning to keep track of everything on a daily and weekly basis etc... It can be pretty motivating and will give you extra motivation not to give up one morning.

If you're fat, you'll be losing weight from the physical activities and morning workouts, but you should still keep a food journal to know exactly just how much you're eating and try to make sure you're eating the right amount of the right things. There are plenty of online places where you can do that and they'll give you precise breakdowns based on age, sex etc...

If you want to go the extra way, keep a small journal with you and every day write down things you want to better off, things you could have done better, things you're happy you're doing so you keep a record of that thing.


That's the thing about growing up and bettering yourself: if you don't work hard at it, you don't keep track of where you are and where you want to go, you won't really get anywhere you want. Stop being affected by life happening around you, sack up and start living life to its fullest instead. In a matter of a year or two you won't even recognize the sad lonely sack you once were. That's my guaranteed to work plan.

:nixon:

great poast but you forgot about smoking weed every day

[PRONOUNCED]'Lĕh-'nérd 'Jib-léts

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #48 on: January 10, 2014, 07:17:48 AM »
0
cis scum, can we have a few of your best bachelor life hacks next?

PrivilegeChecked

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Re: Something Sensitive presents: How to Ungoon Yourself, 2014 edition
« Reply #49 on: January 10, 2014, 07:34:55 AM »
+1
There's no saving these faggots.
Save your MPC effort posts for something that deserves it.