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Author Topic: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread  (Read 142469 times)

blasting_asshole

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1100 on: September 28, 2017, 12:28:12 PM »
+7
Congrats on the kid and not being a selfish pussy by aborting. You'll be glad you're a father, no matter what. Even the people I know who are in really shitty/desperate situations with kids are still 100% glad they did it and wouldn't take it back for all the wealth in the world. Sounds cliche but that's how it is.

Don't even worry about future pozz garbage someone might try to fill his head with. I dunno where ur from, but in my town (in shitlib dominated Massachusetts), there's a nice anti-pozz correction going on. My boy's teachers are really cool.

One thing that's amazed me is how my boy has managed to automatically surround himself with other kids who's parents hold the same general ideas and beliefs as myself and his mother. There's definitely something to it where kids subconsciously extrapolate their parent's morals, values and priorities. All the shitlibery in the world isn't gonna override that. This is at 4 years of age, mind you. It all tends to fall into place, in that regard.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2017, 12:40:24 PM by blasting_asshole »

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1101 on: September 28, 2017, 12:33:24 PM »
0
Yeah, congrats. Do you know the sex yet?
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

blasting_asshole

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1102 on: September 28, 2017, 12:42:18 PM »
+12
Yeah, congrats. Do you know the sex yet?

Regardless, boy or girl, we will be extremely outraged by your assumption of gender based on anatomy.  :madgoon:

Handyman

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1103 on: September 28, 2017, 01:27:08 PM »
+3
I just found out that I'm going to be a father, I never wanted kids but I'm excited to be a dad. I'm worried about the future and the garbage they will try to fill his head with, but I'm hoping that having a conservative upbringing will vaccinate against a lot of the poz. Looking at what he'll be up against, I don't think it will be too difficult for him to be successful.

We're in our early thirties, I don't know when the best time to have a kid is for a guy, but I would have not been a good father five or ten years ago. For women it's physically best to have kids as early as possible, im just hoping her shit doesnt get all blown out.

Congrats

Early 30s is probably the best time.  You've got to be mature to handle kids and also not go through your middle-aged years wondering what you missed out on in your 20s. 

InsideOutside

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1104 on: September 28, 2017, 01:41:17 PM »
+1
Yeah, congrats. Do you know the sex yet?

saving this to my "CIA Podesta Infiltration Evidence" folder

kosher nostra

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1105 on: September 28, 2017, 05:45:11 PM »
+3
Yeah, congrats. Do you know the sex yet?

No I don't, but I'm polishing my shotguns regardless.

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1106 on: September 28, 2017, 06:29:44 PM »
+2
We're in our early thirties, I don't know when the best time to have a kid is for a guy, but I would have not been a good father five or ten years ago. For women it's physically best to have kids as early as possible, im just hoping her shit doesnt get all blown out.

C-section it is!

Talcum X

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1107 on: September 28, 2017, 09:24:49 PM »
+5
Seconded, she'll be self-consious about the scar probably, but it acts a huge billboard that screams "STILL TIGHT AS SHIT SON" so :shrug:

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1108 on: September 28, 2017, 09:43:54 PM »
+5
My wife didn't have a choice, she was forced to get a c-section (blood pressure skyrocketed and baby had to go). The procedure means no sex for a while, but honestly, finding time for sex while caring for a newborn is kind of a non-starter.

She's a little self-conscious about the scar, but it's a minor issue. The real problem for her is that her body doesn't warn her when she has to pee anymore. It's just sudden need to go with little to no warning. That part sucks.

blasting_asshole

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1109 on: September 29, 2017, 08:22:01 AM »
0
A half-white/half-Asian looking man stitched my wife back together after the first kid. I keep asking her where we left his business card, for the one that's due next month.

Yeah, congrats. Do you know the sex yet?

No I don't, but I'm polishing my shotguns regardless.

I miss the not knowing phase. Great lift sessions were had during those times. On reps 10, 11 and 12, I'd think to myself "What if it's a girl?" and power straight through to the end, without any hesitation or srtruggle. Then when I find out it's a boy, it's just like "Ehhh, I'll go for a run and call it a day."
« Last Edit: September 29, 2017, 08:40:13 AM by blasting_asshole »

Procrustes

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1110 on: September 30, 2017, 12:27:19 PM »
+7
So gay

Smello

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+4
I just found out that I'm going to be a father, I never wanted kids but I'm excited to be a dad. I'm worried about the future and the garbage they will try to fill his head with, but I'm hoping that having a conservative upbringing will vaccinate against a lot of the poz. Looking at what he'll be up against, I don't think it will be too difficult for him to be successful.

We're in our early thirties, I don't know when the best time to have a kid is for a guy, but I would have not been a good father five or ten years ago. For women it's physically best to have kids as early as possible, im just hoping her shit doesnt get all blown out.

Congrats, keep a close on on the shit they try to feed them in elementary school nowadays.

Talcum X

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+3
.....and kindergarten and preschool

blasting_asshole

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+14
Pack their lunch, read to them every night, don't tolerate crying over bullshit and it'll work itself out, for the most part.

Reading is the fun part. Since books wanna diversify the shit out of children's stories, I make sure each character gets an embarrassingly stereotypical accent.

Pizza Cancellation Specialist

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1114 on: November 25, 2017, 06:25:25 PM »
+14
Every single year yet another feminist fattee writes a thanksgiving article about how its okay to eat every fucking thing in sight guilt-free.

https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/11/fat-shame-free-thanksgiving/

No picture of the author. Very mysterious!

Quote
1. Don’t make any comments about anyone’s body.

Bodies are the most personal thing and it is very much not your responsibility to talk about anyone else’s, especially in negative terms. But I even advise that you don’t make positive body comments either.

Unfortunately, our world has made many people, especially women, ultra-sensitive about their bodies and even a seemingly positive comment can draw unwanted attention. And a “positive” comment phrased like “Oh wow! Have you lost weight?” contributes to our culture of fatphobia. (Time and time again thin bodies are held up as the ideal while fat bodies are pathologized.)

Additionally, even positive comments about someone’s body can feed into eating disorders, and you never know who might be struggling with an unhealthy relationship with food.

2. Don’t make any comments about your own body.

Even though you are in charge of your own body, making comments about it can still send damaging messages to others. For example, when girls hear their mothers say something like, “Ugh, I feel so fat in these jeans.” their minds automatically go to, “Do I look fat?” and fat shame is affirmed.

3. Learn about concern trolling.

It’s an impulse to say, “But I really CARE about this person and I’m really concerned about his/her weight/health!” especially when the person in question is a family member.

Kath at Fat Heffalump has a lot of great reading about why this is a problematic stance and how to differentiate it from genuine concern. While you’re at it, read Ragen Chastain’s whole blog to learn that thin =/= healthy.

[[[You know its a quality article when the author is suggesting you defer to "Kath" at "Fat Heffalump"]]]



4. Don’t make comments about anyone’s food consumption.

This goes right along with concern trolling. Food policing includes comments like, “Are you really sure you should be eating that? It has so many calories!” or “Do you really need seconds?” or “Maybe you should put that second roll back.”

All of these comments operate under the guise of “I’m just helping you make healthy choices!” but they are in actuality intended to shame the recipient into eating less and feeling horrible about their food choices.

These comments are deeply rooted in fatphobia and they can also contribute to disordered eating practices. For children, instead of really learning how to eat until they are full and stop, the lesson becomes that some items are bad and some are good and feelings of shame/guilt/secret pleasure become associated with the “bad” items.

5. Resist the urge to keep track of anyone’s food consumption.

This can be a very difficult task for someone who has their own issues with eating (spoken from experience) or people who are fatphobic. It can be very tempting to notice when other people get seconds and then get a sick sense of satisfaction thinking, “At least I didn’t eat THAT much!” or “What a disgusting pig.” Or, alternatively, “How the hell does she eat so much and stay slim!?” or “No wonder she’s so small; she eats like a bird.” (All depending on the size of the person in question.)

Trust me, when you have these thoughts, it reflects on YOU and not the eater. There’s no sense in keeping a mental ledger of who eats the most because at the end of the day, it’s none of your damn business and it just doesn’t matter.

6. Don’t acknowledge changes in anyone’s body.

At the holidays, we typically see people we haven’t seen in a while, so it is natural to notice differences in people’s appearance. But it helps nothing (and I mean nothing) to verbalize this. Just keep the thoughts to yourselves. If you want to tell someone they look beautiful or happy, then go for it. But do not draw attention to their bodies specifically.

7. Reserve judgment.

The snapshot of someone’s diet and behavior that you gather from spending a holiday together is clearly not the full picture of their lifestyle. So don’t judge them based on limited interactions around the table. And remember, it’s not your business anyway.

8. Speak out against fatphobic and body shaming comments.

It can be really hard to be a body accepting person in an environment where you don’t know if you are safe (which is the majority of the places we enter.) So if someone makes a fatphobic or body shaming comment, and you feel comfortable speaking up against it, do so.

This will help set the stage for a “body hate free zone.” Shutting down fat shame is particularly helpful from the host, who tends to set the stage for the tone of an event. It can be as simple as a lighthearted, “Oh, we don’t talk like that here.

9. Apologize and respect boundaries.

If you mess up and make a comment that someone is uncomfortable with (like about their eating or body) just apologize. It’s so incredibly simple. Don’t try to justify, just apologize.

Understand that if someone sets boundaries with you (ie “What’s on my plate isn’t up for discussion”) that’s a sign that you are out of line. If your aim is to be a good, respectful person in a general kind of way, you must respect those boundaries. Again, their eating and bodies are none of your business. (Have I said that enough?)

10. Seriously — just don’t talk about anyone’s body.

Yes, that gets repeated, because it’s that important. If you follow that rule, always, then the rest are unnecessary, really.



Too dumb to think of step 10....uhh....I'll just repeat a step! FEMALE JOURNALISM!

Also, once again Sailer's rule about female journalism is in effect. For the uninitiated:

The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, Come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter-looking.

Real Jews? Fake News.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1115 on: November 25, 2017, 07:07:07 PM »
+5
✔️ Obese
✔️ Tattoos
✔️ Vibrant dyed hair
❌ Feminist glasses

Huh, I guess she sat on them.

OZMA CURES HAM

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1116 on: November 25, 2017, 07:42:29 PM »
+7
A fat chick with a fat chick tattooed on her fat arm.

Procrustes

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1117 on: November 25, 2017, 09:21:59 PM »
+11
You could tattoo the fucking entire text of war and peace on that fucking massive pork shoulder

I bet that fat slob could eat a whole damn heffalump all by her goddamn self.

EAT A FUCKING SALAD ONCE IN A GODAMN WHILE BITCH

Real Jews? Fake News.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1118 on: November 25, 2017, 09:48:40 PM »
+6
You could tattoo the fucking entire text of war and peace on that fucking massive pork shoulder

I bet that fat slob could eat a whole damn heffalump all by her goddamn self.

EAT A FUCKING SALAD ONCE IN A GODAMN WHILE BITCH

I'd like to tattoo the entire King James Bible on that pork shoulder and watch her melt like the wicked witch

misterjameshoffa

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1119 on: November 30, 2017, 07:17:43 PM »
+13
I happened across this one and thought of this thread. TLDR: At a work event, she freaked out about meeting a youtube musician to the point where the musician called security on her. Despite the fact that no one noticed or cared, she decided to kill herself.

Other lols include sharing her history of mental illness when applying to the job, being triggered by the open floor plan at her office.

Quote
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Had a Breakdown Two Weeks After a Doctor Declared Me Fit to Work
I struggled into the office with last night’s mascara clinging to my eyelashes and a stomach heavy with nausea and hungover shame.
 

lorelei-cude December 15, 2016
Tags: depression, anxiety, breakdowns
Trigger warning: self-harm and suicidal ideation.



Quote
After years of interviews, internships and rejections, I finally got a paid job in my dream industry: music publishing. Though the work would be mainly administrative, I fantasized about the opportunities this role could bring, the friends I would make and the private industry events that I would appear on the guest list for. There was just one little obstacle: my ability to work had to be approved by a doctor as I had owned up to my long-term depression and self-harm on my HR forms.

The truth is, I know I’m NSFW. Open-plan offices, retail checkouts, and reception desks all come with their own triggers for my anxiety and depression. But I have to work, so I have to lie. I was hopeful that this job would be different as I had been trying to get into music publishing since college. I thought that by working somewhere that appeals to my interests, I could maybe start going to work without being sick with panic every Monday; without self-harm feeling like my only means of control. I had been working part-time for the last two years, though, and this new job would involve almost doubling my working hours and the time in which I would need to be "on."

Getting the approval from a doctor turned out to be a cake walk, even after bearing my literal scars and being frank about my suicide attempt three months earlier. This came as a relief as I wanted the job, but it still surprises me every time a professional can’t see through my well-rehearsed high-gloss filter that depressives are known for applying to get through the day.

In the beginning, I coped by taking one day at a time and being mindful of this. It got harder, though. I struggled to fit in. I was seated on an open plan floor with 80 other people, in a ‘team’ consisting of just myself and my manager, meaning interaction with everyone else was at a minimum. I stopped taking lunch breaks just so I didn’t have to sit on my own. When the hunger came too much during the day, I would go to an empty meeting room and eat privately.

Two weeks after my assessment with the doctor, I talked myself into attending an industry event that was hosting an intimate live gig with three artists from the UK grime scene, one who I was particularly excited to see. She seemed to be an absolute badass. A brash, lyrically adept talent who had gone viral on YouTube with a DIY video without a label. I went with the hope of being able to finally break the ice with my colleagues, who up to now had probably only noticed me as a new face in a room of many. I also decided to do something completely out of character once I was there: I was going to talk to her.

The exchange of words we had would have been insignificant to any passerby. No doubt they were to her. But to me, it was catastrophic. After telling her I enjoyed her performance, and felt inspired by her work, she flashed a strained smile and then raised her arm and called security.

I fled the scene immediately. I was too embarrassed to see what would happen and I could see the security dude eyeing up the room for an obvious offender.

I lost myself in the crowd with my boyfriend, who I had brought along with me as my plus one. He whispered CBT style mantras in my ear as I cried without anyone noticing as their gaze was fixed on the next performer.

I decided to drink. Heavily. So much in fact that I only remember the things after this point that I’d rather forget – such as falling out of the taxi when we arrived at my door and throwing up on my living room carpet.

The next day, I overslept and was awoken only when my boyfriend was leaving for work at the same time I usually would. I struggled into the office with last night’s mascara clinging to my eyelashes and a stomach heavy with nausea and hungover shame.

I walked to my desk feeling everyone would know what had happened just by looking at me, even though half of them weren’t even there. Within moments, I was in one of those vacant meeting rooms, dry heaving and hyperventilating, which is actually pretty hard to do at the same time.

I decided I’d email my manager, who wasn’t yet in work, to say I had gone to our other office in central London for the day. I went home without waiting for a reply. Once I had made it back to the safety of my sofa with my cats, I sobbed – half as a result of hungover depression, half guilt for lying to get out of work and the consequences this could bring.

Between dry heaving on an empty stomach and some superficial cutting, I felt the only resolution was to complete what I had attempted those three months ago.

I live right by a level train crossing which you can easily trespass on to. Because of this, posters with a suicide prevention number frequent the train platforms in my area as a sort of final offer of help. For some reason I called it.

Rachel spent two hours speaking with me on the phone. She tried to get me to gain some sort of perspective on what had happened, and more importantly, what hadn’t happened. It’s a habit of mine to ruminate on conversations. Tear them apart in my head for hours, maybe even days, after they have occurred. Sometimes the line between what went down, and the subtext that I, essentially am guessing, is hard to tell between.

Rachel arranged for someone to call me the next day which was a crutch I held on to while I considered my options. Though the suicidal thoughts did persist, when I hung up the phone, I felt like I could maybe see the day through.

I went back to work the following Monday, fearful of being confronted for going home, for getting drunk, for shaming myself. But I sit here now, somehow still in the job, with the whole event confined to my own memory which had no long term consequences.

I avoid industry events now at all costs though and no, I can’t listen to that artist’s music anymore. I don’t think I’ll confess to my depression and meds when I start a new job, either. I feel the less people who know, the better, especially in the workplace. And when the professionals can’t tell what’s really going on anyway, it probably won’t be that hard to continue to hide the fact that I’m not safe for work.

NASAkangz

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1120 on: November 30, 2017, 07:27:46 PM »
+8
^She was agoraphobic and didn’t like open venues? Sounds like a piss-poor career choice.

Real Jews? Fake News.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1121 on: November 30, 2017, 08:37:29 PM »
0
Aww, she's kinda cute too. 

Sounds like she needs some kratom and someone to break her of the celebrity worship mindset.  Too bad kratom is illegal in the UK because of their shitty drug laws.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1122 on: November 30, 2017, 10:14:00 PM »
+12
Quote
I don’t think I’ll confess to my depression and meds when I start a new job, either. I feel the less people who know, the better, especially in the workplace. And when the professionals can’t tell what’s really going on anyway, it probably won’t be that hard to continue to hide the fact that I’m not safe for work.

Well it's a good thing she didn't write about it on a public website with her real name and picture; her secret is safe! :downs:

Procrustes

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1123 on: November 30, 2017, 10:37:21 PM »
+17
Take that crazy bitch to the vet and have her put to sleep. Tell her coworkers she went to a farm in the country where she could run and be free.

Problem solved.

blasting_asshole

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1124 on: December 01, 2017, 01:03:40 PM »
+7
 :allears: : "I enjoy your performance and feel inspired by your work."
 :depressedlesbian: : "SECURITY?!"

I'm pretty sure this was taken directly from an episode of The Fairly Odd Parents.