;

Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 148389 times)

OZMA CURES HAM

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3919
  • Awards Better dead than red Lithuanian Ave Maria Seaman (lol) old Goon or Ex-Goon Wounded in the line of posting. cold, dead hands
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4725 on: October 12, 2017, 03:23:40 PM »
+1
he might have appreciated a dying blow job you don't know.
I guess that depends on if he knocked his teeth out or not.

Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4726 on: October 12, 2017, 03:47:14 PM »
+4
Nothing like an a-hole cyclist to bring out he 888 didnít read shit walls o text.


Though truth be told I was a asshole roadie for years till a drunk nigger ran me over while I was stopped at a stoplight.

Not I strictly ride dirt and dodge pedestrians and their egg-sucking dogs, most of whom are illegally off-leash, but the peds have the right of way so you gotta ride with the idea that most people are too goddamn stupid look up from their phone or pull out their earbuds on the trail.

Iíve crashed into other riders and into a dog. The rider was okay but the dog wasnít. The park policeman I called gave the furious owner a ticket for an off leash dog in the park, which sucked for him I guess.

Rocket

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Cosmonauts
  • *
  • Posts: 12148
  • Don't call me a lawyer; I'll call my own!
  • Awards Fucked a lesbian You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! old cold, dead hands Something Wonderful The Gentry Prepper Libertarian TNE Veteran For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Goon or Ex-Goon Sasstronaut Wounded in the line of posting. Motorcyclist
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4727 on: October 12, 2017, 03:48:43 PM »
0
he might have appreciated a dying blow job you don't know.
I guess that depends on if he knocked his teeth out or not.
I guess that would make it better.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


the sip

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 1203
  • Awards Motorcyclist United Statesian Deplorables You Shall Not Pass!
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4728 on: October 12, 2017, 11:21:03 PM »
+7
Just throw cups of piss at them jfc guys this isn't a hard problem to solve

AssPoundingFaggot

  • Enemy Of The State
  • Waffen SS
  • *
  • Posts: 413
  • D & D would be the first ones up against the wall
  • Awards Deplorables Fascist Anonymous cold, dead hands old Goon or Ex-Goon
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4729 on: October 13, 2017, 02:32:13 PM »
+10
Somebody post that gif of the car plowing through the group of cyclists I love that one.

e- found it       
« Last Edit: October 13, 2017, 09:09:09 PM by AssPoundingFaggot »
BigDiggerNick [27|Jan 01:36 PM]:   You know I wonder if there are any soap bars made from jews still around

Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4730 on: October 13, 2017, 11:51:58 PM »
0
Wow those people got fucked up

Morty Doom

  • Unperson
  • *****
  • Posts: 657
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4731 on: October 14, 2017, 04:23:47 AM »
+1
A child drowning is not what I would classify as ďfunny shitĒ but when the headline mentioned an age of 8 I thought, well thatís peculiar, usually this is a problem that affects toddlers and babies. Suddenly it becomes a sick game of ďguess the raceĒ

ďInvestigators are still trying to determine what led the victim to falling in the pool in the first place. Also, the boy didn't know how to swim.

The boy didn't live at the home, but he is the nephew of a caregiver who works at the home. The caregiver brought the boy and his brother to the house this afternoon to stay while she worked.Ē

Teach your goddamn kids to swim, there are swimming pools about every ten feet in this town Iíd reckon.

change my pitch up, cut my dick off

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 1237
  • アメリカを再び偉大にしよう
  • Awards Goon or Ex-Goon Anonymous Faggot Deplorables Killed in the Line of Posting Autistic Sasstronaut
    • You Shall Not Pass: Gross Trannies Posted Daily
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4732 on: October 14, 2017, 05:40:27 AM »
+1
Nothing like an a-hole cyclist to bring out he 888 didnít read shit walls o text.

if you're not wearing the gay spandex shit we're not talking about you, normal people on bicycles are fine.
kill
yourself
wow

NASAkangz

  • Domestic Threat
  • ***
  • Posts: 113
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4733 on: October 14, 2017, 08:47:23 AM »
+1
Somebody post that gif of the car plowing through the group of cyclists I love that one.

e- found it       


Hahaha, I hadnít seen that one, what was the story behind that event? Anyone killed?

Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4734 on: October 14, 2017, 10:14:41 AM »
+6
Nothing like an a-hole cyclist to bring out he 888 didnít read shit walls o text.

if you're not wearing the gay spandex shit we're not talking about you, normal people on bicycles are fine.

1- you donít get to talk about normal people, transcreature wow

2- kill yourself

Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4735 on: October 14, 2017, 10:17:24 AM »
+2
Somebody post that gif of the car plowing through the group of cyclists I love that one.

e- found it       


Hahaha, I hadnít seen that one, what was the story behind that event? Anyone killed?

IIRC itís one of those cycling activist events where a bunch of fucking assholes ride around town blocking streets and running lights and generally fucking up traffic and peoples day to prove to people that they need to share the road with cyclists.



change my pitch up, cut my dick off

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 1237
  • アメリカを再び偉大にしよう
  • Awards Goon or Ex-Goon Anonymous Faggot Deplorables Killed in the Line of Posting Autistic Sasstronaut
    • You Shall Not Pass: Gross Trannies Posted Daily
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4736 on: October 14, 2017, 10:30:49 AM »
0
Nothing like an a-hole cyclist to bring out he 888 didnít read shit walls o text.

if you're not wearing the gay spandex shit we're not talking about you, normal people on bicycles are fine.

1- you donít get to talk about normal people, transcreature wow

2- kill yourself

cyclists are a level of faggotry beyond troon, so i get to in this instance

however your next post shows you're not one of those, so carry on
kill
yourself
wow

Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4737 on: October 14, 2017, 10:46:22 AM »
+8

cyclists are a level of faggotry

Correct

Quote
beyond troon

Incorrect

50/100

Please redo and submit for review

David Hedgehogstein

  • Cishet White Male
  • Knights
  • *
  • Posts: 3126
  • Member of Jew Club
  • Awards Goon or Ex-Goon old Swear on me mum m8
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4738 on: October 14, 2017, 01:47:20 PM »
+2
Taconigger hates cyclists because it's an expression of wealth to spend money on something purely for recreation. That goddamn stupid spic needs to spend every last penny earned from washing dishes and mowing lawns on his extended family back home because his mother, like most spic women couldn't keep her legs shut and dem babies are not going to look after themselves (too lazy). The closest that dirty Mexican gets to bike ownership is when he get's to 'borrow' one left at his place for a cheap repair; and he only has that until a nigger steals it from him...


Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4385
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4739 on: October 14, 2017, 02:06:45 PM »
+7
Taconigger hates cyclists because it's an expression of wealth to spend money on something purely for recreation. That goddamn stupid spic needs to spend every last penny earned from washing dishes and mowing lawns on his extended family back home because his mother, like most spic women couldn't keep her legs shut and dem babies are not going to look after themselves (too lazy). The closest that dirty Mexican gets to bike ownership is when he get's to 'borrow' one left at his place for a cheap repair; and he only has that until a nigger steals it from him...


Doublenigger Dave youíre as bad at reading as you are at being white

Though truth be told I was a asshole roadie for years till a drunk nigger ran me over while I was stopped at a stoplight.

Not I strictly ride dirt and dodge pedestrians and their egg-sucking dogs, most of whom are illegally off-leash, but the peds have the right of way so you gotta ride with the idea that most people are too goddamn stupid look up from their phone or pull out their earbuds on the trail.


Pretty Sneaky Cis

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 354
  • Awards Anonymous United Statesian Drinkin' and Postin' old You can't know! Scrooge Bah Jaysus! Goon or Ex-Goon
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4740 on: October 14, 2017, 03:25:19 PM »
+7
Taconigger hates cyclists because it's an expression of wealth to spend money on something purely for recreation. That goddamn stupid spic needs to spend every last penny earned from washing dishes and mowing lawns on his extended family back home because his mother, like most spic women couldn't keep her legs shut and dem babies are not going to look after themselves (too lazy). The closest that dirty Mexican gets to bike ownership is when he get's to 'borrow' one left at his place for a cheap repair; and he only has that until a nigger steals it from him...

Yeah, no. Fuck you. People who bike are fine. Cyclists are a fucking stain on existence. Literally the most entitled, obnoxious, holier than thou liberal douchetrickles. Theyíre the only people Iíve ever encountered with less regard for pedestrians, personal safety, or traffic laws than the average urban pavement ape.

Obese and Triggered

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3703
  • Robin! To the bat-mobility scooter!
  • Awards Sasstronaut Fucked a lesbian United Statesian Better dead than red cold, dead hands old Goon or Ex-Goon Boy Scout
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4741 on: October 15, 2017, 12:45:54 PM »
+13
http://www.crowdedcities.com/

Quote
Our Story

In the Netherlands every year more than 6 billion cigarette filters are tossed onto the street. Itís easy to toss, but itís not easy to pick them up. Since each filter takes 12 years to degrade we realised itís time to take action.

Through observation we concluded crows are the smartest around us to reach any spot in the city. What if crows can bring cigarette filters to one of our Crowbars to exchange the filter for food? This is how our adventure started.

Woah! They are training crows to pick up cigarette butts in their city. That's weird as shit and really really cool.




Down the road I'm going to laugh when some local politico bans smoking and they start having to deal with crow attacks in the city because the birds are starving now that their primary food/reward system has been disrupted.

ompb

  • Unperson
  • *****
  • Posts: 809
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4742 on: October 15, 2017, 12:57:25 PM »
+22
"We should've picked our own cotton"

Pizza Cancellation Specialist

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Alconauts
  • *
  • Posts: 9010
  • Bon vivant and fulla hate
  • Awards You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! Deplorables Better dead than red old Scrooge United Statesian Deutscher Drinkin' and Postin' Took down a Goon Wounded in the line of posting. Took down a Moderator TNE Veteran Sasstronaut
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4743 on: October 15, 2017, 02:36:43 PM »
+5
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NoP_VrnmCQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NoP_VrnmCQ</a>
I have a pet conspiracy theory about Lil Yachty. The Jews made him famous to put all the marginally talented blacks like Jay-Z and whomever on notice that their fame and fortune has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any talent they might have. Jewish producers can take the most retarded nigger they can find, a guy so dumb he can't even write his own name, hook him up to autotone, and make him a star. They don't need Jay-Z; Jay-Z needs them.

Obese and Triggered

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3703
  • Robin! To the bat-mobility scooter!
  • Awards Sasstronaut Fucked a lesbian United Statesian Better dead than red cold, dead hands old Goon or Ex-Goon Boy Scout
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4744 on: October 15, 2017, 04:19:17 PM »
+10
Crowbros:


OZMA CURES HAM

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3919
  • Awards Better dead than red Lithuanian Ave Maria Seaman (lol) old Goon or Ex-Goon Wounded in the line of posting. cold, dead hands
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4745 on: October 15, 2017, 05:26:09 PM »
+2
Videos or it didn't happen.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2153
  • Awards Deplorables
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4746 on: October 16, 2017, 10:21:05 AM »
+12
It's all fun and games until crows start taking cigs out of the mouths of people and building nests with them and burning down houses

Rocket

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Cosmonauts
  • *
  • Posts: 12148
  • Don't call me a lawyer; I'll call my own!
  • Awards Fucked a lesbian You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! old cold, dead hands Something Wonderful The Gentry Prepper Libertarian TNE Veteran For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Goon or Ex-Goon Sasstronaut Wounded in the line of posting. Motorcyclist
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4747 on: October 17, 2017, 10:38:26 AM »
+8
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Talcum X

  • Unperson
  • *****
  • Posts: 914
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4748 on: October 17, 2017, 06:11:10 PM »
+18
If they weren't able to predict "a WHOLE bunch of white people are gonna come fuck our shit up" a few hundred years ago, then there is no way in hell im gonna believe the twigs told them that if white people dont donate to Al Gore immediately we're done for in 5 months.  Have another whiskey sno cone and deal the goddamn cards

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Fagmin
  • *
  • Posts: 8463
  • We don't need another hero
  • Awards Metal Fan Classicist Took Down an Admin You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! old Took down a Moderator Something Wonderful Goon or Ex-Goon TNE Veteran Sasstronaut Bah Jaysus! United Statesian
    • Awards
Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4749 on: October 22, 2017, 03:12:47 PM »
+6
There was some charity thing for hurricanes or whatever and Lady Gaga took a pic with all 5 former living Presidents:



Some things that stand out:

-HW is not looking good, but I'm surprised he's out and about because he hasn't looked good in awhile. Can't see us making it to 6 former living Presidents. Carter looks better, and they're the same age.

-Clinton, W, and Bammy are all wearing the Standard American Flag Lapel Pin which has been part of the uniform of all politicians since the 90s. HW and Carter don't because their careers predate that

-Everyone there is in black wingtip laceups except Clinton, who is wearing fucking grey suede shows and also rolled in wearing a plaid shirt. Nigga really is the first Black President. Meanwhile the first Actual Black President is the most conservatively dressed of them all

 :adam: