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Author Topic: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT  (Read 6564 times)

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Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« on: September 01, 2017, 03:09:31 PM »
+21
Since the E/N thread got fagged up by faggots and their faggotry; I am proud to present to you stories of heartbreak and not taking good advice when it comes to relationships.

Cross posting this from the E/N thread since it is too good to not include it. There are some new posts he made so I added them to the pile of lols- August 31st

More relationship woes from goons.

I present for your consideration- The Heartbreak of deadly_pudding in Many Posts or The Man Too Pussy to Say No. This is going to be long so grab a cup of coffee and some popcorn!


How his saga starts in the E/N breakup thread- May 11th 2017

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I think I'm finally pulling the trigger on this one. You may have seen me hemming and hawing in other threads before! I think I probably have undiagnosed depression symptoms that stem from my almost comically low testosterone for a man of my age, so I may be extraordinarily bad at prioritizing my self-interest

Anyway, I technically broke up with my girlfriend like a year and a half ago? But she very quickly guilted me into taking it back because she knows I'm apparently pathologically motivated to frame myself as "reasonable and tolerant." And now I just kind of feel like I'm some kind of emotion hostage because I couldn't put on my big boy pants and sever.

There's been basically no emotional or physical intimacy in our relationship for like 3 years. This is both of our faults. When the aforementioned low testosterone started causing weiner problems, she took it mega personally and thought I was unattracted to her, and over time I developed an aversion to even trying because there were so many angry, sex-adjacent blowouts. So now we're like roommates that are comfortable being nude around each other.

Anyway, she can't control the volume of her voice when she has earbuds in, so I know that she's been having cam sex with foreign dudes on her phone when she says she's taking a nap. I confronted her about it this morning because she wouldn't stop pressing me about why I'm mad at her, and apparently I'm the asshole for "ruining her day".

And like, yeah. I get that this situation is 50% of my fault. I didn't try to fuck her for like 3 years. But she didn't try with me, either. She hates being touched on like 70% of her body because she's a self-loathing fat girl, she doesn't like kissing. She hates being breathed on! I have weird shoulder problems because she wakes me up and makes me roll over at night so I won't breathe on her, so I've just been sleeping on my bad shoulder for years. She just wants somebody to efficiently bone her like a robot without acknowledging or touching her body, which I'm like the least qualified person in the world for. Keep in mind, these were all things that she disguised until after we moved in together. OR I GUESS MAYBE I'M JUST SUCH A BAD LAY THAT SHE DEVELOPED THEM AFTER, I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

She also has a really shitty attitude, and a toxic personality. This is all shit I let slide because for the longest time I felt like I had an obligation to her. We moved in together way too early because we were both broke as hell, I needed a fourth roommate to dilute rent, and she needed to get out of her parents house. And for that first year, she covered the majority of the grocery bills because her income was more reliable than me, and she's just been lording that over me ever since. As soon as I finished my degree and got a real job, she became a NEET for a year and then went back to college full-time, so as far as I'm concerned I don't owe her anything on that front. She also holds over my head the fact that we only have a car, after my old car's transmission died while I was delivering pizzas (), because one of her friends was leaving the country and needed to offload his car cheap. She constantly uses "gay" as a pejorative, she treats all our friends like shit and they put up with it because they're all sadbrain nerds like me. She drew a frosting dick on our friend's birthday cake the other week and keeps asking him when the last time he had sex was (it's not recently! FUCKING RELATABLE).

She looks down on my nerd interests like crazy. I think she put up with it for the first year of the relationship, and then started leaving the room whenever I started watching anything in Japanese . Roleplaying is a dead hobby because involving her means that setting any kind of mood will be impossible because she thinks genres are stupid and just wants to bully NPCs and make fun of me for using the word "taint". I also have to be paranoid about having my mic on if I'm playing games or trying to stream something because she likes to burst into the room and ask me humiliating questions about my dick, or ask me if I like to suck dick. She claims to have tourette syndrome, but it's not diagnosed and I'm pretty sure she just likes to make me uncomfortable.

Anyway, the thing chiefly preventing me from letting this sentiment stick is the misguided sense of chivalry that makes me want to not make a person homeless, but like fuck it. She has friends. One of the aforementioned nerds has like a full apartment that he's not using in the basement of the house he owns. The car is mine; it's in my name and the payments on it were transferred from my bank account. I like the bed, but I'm not gonna try to buy her out of the half she paid for it because my budget is stretched to the breaking point just taking care of both of us. I'll actually be able to save up for things when I'm not buying her food and paying her phone bill! I'll sleep on my couch for a month and then order a Casper or something.

The other problem is that her name is on the lease and the lease doesn't end until July or something, so it's not like I have the ability to just kick her to the curb. I have no way of instantly severing, which means I have to be around for the ensuing full week+ of her wailing and crying, and generally being a suicide risk.

I really wanted to wait a week to have this conversation until after she finished finals, but apparently I'm a bad actor and she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong, so I ended up telling her what I know this morning and now there's just gonna be fucked up emotional tension until I either withdraw like I always do, or tell her to get out of my apartment in 2 months.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
She accelerated the process by texting me "are you breaking up with me" right before my lunch break, so you can imagine I'm having a very productive day at the office. If I'm lucky she'll get that job and move in with our friend. Otherwise I'll have an excruciating next couple of months while the lease ticks down.

I just want to like, start the process of moving on with my life.

I didn't want to do a text message breakup, dammit.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
My hands are kinda tied on that one. She still doesn't have a job and I can't afford to pay any more than I already do in rent right now. I definitely can't double it.

It's looking likely that she'll end up moving into our one friend's house with the basement apartment, though, so hopefully I won't have to worry about it. She's also being a lot more calm about it than I was expecting, which I guess means her brain meds are working, so I shouldn't have to worry about crazy times. Probably



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah. Thanks for helping me collect my thoughts on the matter, thread

I ended up breaking up over text, which is not what I wanted to do. She sent me a "are you breaking up with me" text in the middle of my work day~

The post-breakup logistics fucking suck. I need to call my landlord next week and see if I have options in the event that I want to renew the lease with just my name on it at the end of July. I'm seeing a worst-case scenario, where I live in my 2-door car for 2 months, because I have to make us both homeless out of spite because I can't actually afford to line up a different apartment for myself without like 6 months of planning while actually paying rent.

I really hope our friend with the apartment in his basement takes her on.
There's also a tertiary scenario where I go live there, instead, but I think that's not actually viable because I'm pretty sure that any move that makes my ex homeless on purpose probably sours me for people who are our mutual friends



So in May, he goes on about wanting her out of his place by August. It seems as if he is getting some self respect and may actually grow some balls and kick the crazy bitch to the curb. Hooray! Before you get your hopes up, realize this is a  :parsons: goon who is co-dependent.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, I can totally rent a room around here in a shared house for like $300-$400 a month. That sucks, but it's what I'll have to do if she doesn't properly agree to vacate when the lease is up. I'm not signing a lease with her name on it again. She can either figure out something before the end of July, or stay in denial right up until I load my shit into a U-Haul. I'll probably have to come up with a plan with the landlord to deal with her stuff/cleanup afterwards so I can still get the deposit. I've seen this before with like regular roommates who drag their feet until the day their replacement is supposed to move in.
 


May 14th, 3 days after he posted his "I'm done for real!!" post. TL;DR he sleeps on an air mattress and has a plan to boot out his ex


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Progress report:

I'm hanging in there. I bought an air mattress because it turns out my couches fucking suck. She's going through like the stages of grief over here. She finished denial and/or bargaining yesterday sometime. Now she's mostly just pissed at me/our friends (she got shot down by our guy with the apartment in his basement, and her other friend won't let her couch surf), and also freaking out about living with her parents again.

But also like, it sounds like she's pissed because they basically just treat her like a normal tenant? Like, she has the rooms she's allowed to use, and the rooms she's not allowed to use, and that sounds like pretty normal "room for rent" situation to me.

I'm selling/bartering my kinda shitty car to her at the end of June, mostly as a "actually leave on time" bribe, because I've looked into it and I can scrape together a $1000 down payment by then if I actually try, for a used Camry or something that will be better than my 2010 Hyundai that's had its sparkplugs foul twice. And like, all of the ways of getting out of this thing with finality pretty much involve me spending at least $1000. Plan B was to get a loan to cover the deposit/first month of a new apartment and paying off the current one, and then just peacing out like 2-4 weeks from now . So, I'm pretty neutral on that topic. I've already spoken with some dealerships here. Because I'll have a down payment and I'm only looking at like a $10k vehicle, they pretty much don't give a shit that I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy 4 years ago because I also make like $50k at my job.

So, the timeline pretty much looks like:

    Now-June 30: sleep on an air mattress and just try to live a little more frugally than usual to get that car money. Landlord needs a signed letter from the ex stating that she will vacate herself from the lease July 30. Ex starts getting a stipend from her summer entrepreneurship bootcamp at the university, so she'll pay for some damn groceries.
    June sometime: visit the dealership and actually have them run the financing check to make sure they aren't just being optimistic with me.
    June 31 - early July: Complete the paperwork for transferring ownership of my car, so I don't have to juggle my insurance policies at the dealership.
    July: Still sleepin on an air mattress.
    July 30: Last possible day for the ex to move out.
    August Sometime: order a Casper or something so I have a real bed again.
    February: Holy fuck I can actually save up meaningful amounts of money again and by now I have enough to pay for dental work on my horrible mouth, because of course there's no dental on my health insurance



Now that Air Mattress Casanova severed, he has pussy waiting in the wings for him. Getting out of bad relationship then immediately getting into a new one is always a great idea.


Quote from: deadly_pudding
I can kind of understand that. After the breakup, I reactivated some of my old social media accounts and within like fifteen minutes a woman I've had like flings/short dating relationships with in the past contacted me, and we've really been hitting it off. I'm kind of glad that my ongoing fucked-up living situation is forcing me to take it slow by necessity, or I'd probably be liable to rush like directly into something with this girl who's very familiar to me, but doesn't have a history of emotional abuse like my ex.

That said, we're seeing each other on Friday, but it's just gonna be like a casual hangout at a local festival. I'm mostly just really happy to have somebody I can be like, emotionally candid with. I felt incredibly isolated with my ex. She drove off the couple of remaining friends I had still living here from college, and all our remaining friends were her friends first. I didn't feel like I had anybody to talk about my problems with, which I think is partly why I tried to tolerate so many red flags for years. I had to tread on eggshells constantly around my ex because she would hold her anxiety disorder over my head and make me feel like I wasn't allowed to be upset or uncomfortable with things.

Finally telling my ex to her face that there are exactly 2 outcomes of this situation, and they both involve me not living with her any more after the lease ends in July, was like ripping off a band-aid, and I feel a lot more free now even though I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room


Someone said they would talk to his ex about his love for nerdy things

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Be my guest, but good luck getting in touch if you're not an Iranian she can string along so she can look at middle class dongs without the risk of ever making physical contact or even being in the same time zone

Imagine spending years letting somebody convince you that you're a loser because of the media you like to consume, and then realizing that actually you're the successful one and this partnership is completely one-sided. I'm sorry you picked one paragraph out of my "oh fuck oh shit I need to psych myself up into kicking this person out of my life" essay with which to defeat me.

It's been like five days and I already feel better than I have in years, even though I'm still contractually obligated to share the apartment with her until July. I bought an air mattress. I'm probably being stalked by an old flame, but it's keeping my mind off of things

My ex is furnishing a letter stating that she will vacate the premises by July 31, and I'm meeting with my landlord on Monday to seal the deal.
After she moves out, I'm gonna go Marie Kondo on my apartment and throw out all the clutter that we accumulated as like a dysfunctional self-sustaining infinite depression loop couple. I'm gonna make that place fucking spotless and it's going to be really cathartic.



lol

Quote from: deadly_pudding
COOL GREAT my ex's parents just decided she can't move back in with them. Now she's a mega basket case again and I have to like talk her through figuring out cheap student housing over the next 2 month


May 23rd  :adam:

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Update: so around 11pm last night she started loudcrying in the other room, then she started full-on shrieking and throwing things. I ran the fuck out of the house building with an armload of clothes, drove to a nearby grocery store, and called the cops.

Anyway, the officers don't think she's going to hurt herself, but I was feeling wildly unsafe. I'm currently freezing my ass off in a cheap motel room. I think I need to call in from work today. I got like 4 hours of sleep because of this.

Fucking, I don't know what the next step here is. I wanted to work with her and keep things civil. Like, she has 2 fucking months to figure out housing. I already signed the new lease so now I'm not even sure if getting the fuck out is on the table for me. I need to know if she's going to be like civilized, because I can't sleep in that apartment if I think she's going to have like a fucking psychotic break.

edit: decided not to call in, I'd rather be sleepy at my office than like wait for my ex to pick up her damn phone.


 :facepalm:

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Housing fallout update! Now she's framing the fact that I technically hold the power to not buy her food or let her use my car as abuse, which she is going to try to use to expedite her way into student housing. This is because, in a heated phone conversation earlier today, I told her once that I wasn't sure if I trusted her enough to stay in the apartment and keep buying her groceries.

Mind you, I'm driving her to a job interview on Friday.

Apparently I'm the piece of shit for being spooked by her ear-splitting banshee screams in the middle of the night.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
My ex is finally bouncing back a little from her parents telling her she can't move back in. She's got hella job interviews scheduled, and she found a room that she can rent for like $360 a month starting in July sometime. She's still like sullen af and she unilaterally renounced like 3 friendships over not being able to live in our buddy's basement.

I'm still bribing her with my shitty car, and I'll probably throw in the old minifridge that I just use for soda. My concern is letting her get too comfortable again, because like, I don't want to spend a single day longer cohabitating with her than I absolutely have to. Like, if she's not moved out and August 1 rolls around, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do
She won't be on the lease any more, and my landlord is pretty enthusiastic about getting her out of there, but also I've kinda gotten the impression that it's really hard in a lot of states to just like have somebody dragged out of your apartment if they lived there for a while, and if you evict then you have to evict everybody in the unit.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
I consider it more of a convenient way to unload the car that I hate >_>. Seriously, this car has been nothing but trouble. The spark plugs have fouled like 3 times, and only the first time happened during the warranty. It also needs belt work and the air blower will probably die again this winter. It's a 2010 car and one time it failed an emissions test This is mostly an excuse for me to get a much nicer (used) car and then not be constantly nagged into giving my ex rides with it for the remaining month and a half of the lease after. I think it has a KBB value of like $1500 before the work it will need in the next 6 months. Effectively I'm trading the car for a bunch of furniture I still like that she bought, plus a paltry sum of cash.

And yeah, I already hand-delivered a signed letter from my ex to the landlord stating that she will voluntarily leave the lease at the end of July, and vacate the apartment. I also have already signed the new lease from August 1 2017-July 31 2018 that only has my name on it. But I'm still really anxious about dealing with like the emotional fallout of kicking her to the curb on August 1 if she doesn't have her shit figured out by then.


I edited this post to cut out irrelevant shit

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I'm choosing to just try to live my life for now, because I was driving myself nuts with anxiety and contingency plans, and if she doesn't have a timeline for moving out by like July then I'll start asking my landlord what it takes to process her as a holdover, seeing that I have documentation filed stating that my ex intends to move out, and a signed lease starting August 1 that doesn't have her name on it any more.

Stepping back and not really caring about her emotional state any more has really helped. I've told her to stop asking me for things so I can save up for some things I'll need, like a bed. I'm still going through with my decision to offload my car onto her, because it seems like the most direct way to avoid spending 30+ days experiencing what it's like if my landlord starts to strongarm her, since she'll need a car to like get to a job and campus in this city with a public transit system so bad that I don't know why they bothered. I also hate that car, so that helps.

I'm also talking to a woman I used to date for a bit before I met my ex, and we're kinda hitting it off again. She slid directly into my DMs when I reactivated some dating profiles after declaring the breakup, haha. I think that on some level it's good that my living situation is fucked for a couple months, because it means I can't rush into something serious like a dumbass. We both had major regrets about letting our (at the time) kinda disastrous lives and schedules prevent us from going anywhere with it, and we both ended up in like catastrophic relationships with other people in the intervening years. So, we have a lot to talk about.



Quote from: deadly_pudding
Also, this was my ex for like the final year of our relationship. She hides out in the bedroom like 20 hours a day if she's home, and occasionally emerges to cook something. Uh, it should be noted, Xibanya, that a major contributing factor to that behavior pattern was the fact that she's been carrying out a steamy internet relationship with somebody else for at least 6 months, as she admitted in a limp attempt to hurt my feelings a couple days ago. Originally I assumed it's because she's a hateful banshee who despises everything I do for fun and can't stand being in the room if I'm playing video games or watching anime, which is true , but also she was having cam sex on our bed with some poor bastard who's gonna be her next ex.

It kind of pisses me off even more now that we're just stuck cohabitating involuntarily, because it makes me feel like she's trying to win me back or something when she cooks a meal for both of us. Like, fuck offff.

Anyway, I checked with my landlord yesterday, and she will move to evict my ex if she's not out by August, so I no longer have to worry about that. It will be miserable being in the thick of that situation, though, so I hope she gets her shit figured out before then.


Posts from June

Quote from: deadly_pudding
This is a way better deal than cohabitating with my ex. She doesn't make any money and basically doesn't clean. If she doesn't figure out a plan in the next couple months, my landlord is going to serve her with an eviction notice and then I get to continue sleeping on an air mattress while also probably witnessing the most epic meltdown of my adult life. I'm a notorious nester who is clingy as hell, and I love being domestic and oversharing, so I can't really imagine myself ever wanting to "take a break" like that.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, she won't be on the lease any more starting in August, but I'm pretty sure I live in one of those states where that constitutes being a "holdover tenant" and so she still needs to get a 30 days notice followed by a court eviction if she hasn't gotten around to renting a room by then.

edit: Now that things have kind of calmed down, I'd *almost* consider doing what you're talking about, if we weren't living in a single bedroom apartment. Also it would still be monstrously awkward bringing other girls home with me while my ex is my roommate.
 

JFC this entire post

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Cohabitation with my ex progress report:
I responded poorly to a joke she made in bad taste and snapped at her in the grocery store. She is now refusing to speak with me. She was, however, eating the food I paid for when I left to play board games with the friends I stole from her

For reference, we were joking about alt right people getting pissed about Wolfenstein 2 and making butt hurt tweets about it being "the game where you shoot people who you disagree with". Shortly after, I disagreed with her about a flavor of ice cream and she said "I'm going to shoot you," to which I responded, "Fucking try it."

So now it's awkward being at home because there's a palpable hate aura, luckily I'm not home right now.

Also I have a date tonight! We're going to a drive-in theater for a double feature. It'll be novel as hell spending an evening with somebody who actually finds me attractive
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yyyup it's time for the month and a half where I live with somebody who refuses to speak to me because my general terseness apparently amounts to "a series of abusive microsggressions".

It's like, okay whatever. She's still going to expect me to pay for groceries. Now maybe she won't try to get me to perform emotional labor all the time, though. Like, yes I'm being terse and dismissive. Maybe the fact that I broke up with you should be considered an indicator that i was sick of your shit? Maybe don't expect me to just put up with it like I used to when you say fucked up things for shock value like a teenager on 4chan. Maybe don't expect me to care very much about drama in your group project.

Keep in mind, this is the woman who unilaterally disowned like 80% of her friends because they wouldn't let her couch surf after the breakup. Yes, your friend with a spare room in his house is going to factor in the opinion of his childhood best friend and housemate, who doesn't like you. That's how having a bond with somebody works- you care about their opinion. Like 8 years of friendship with like several people fuckin evaporated in the space of a week. It's like my ex has 2 skills: financial accounting, and holding grudges indefinitely. I guarantee you that she's going to include me in her rogues gallery of evil ex-boyfriends. I wonder if my superpower will be "manchild" or "limp dick".

The saying comes to mind, "If everybody you meet is an asshole, then maybe it is actually you who is the asshole." She has a very binary idea of who her enemies are. This goes back to like the first year we were together, when she accused me of being "against her" when I attempted to mediate her grievances with our other roommate, a (now former) friend of mine. The red flags I ignored out of a misguided sense of... I don't even know any more. The sex wasn't even that good. I guess I put up with her because I was close to rock bottom when we met.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
I'd say it boils down to how invested you are in continuing to live there. If she is willing to leave and you want to stay, push that agenda.

It sounds like you're probably going to have an easier time of it than me. I pay 100% of the rent and bills, so my ex will get a job and move out (or be evicted) by August, which means she's not strictly doing this voluntarily. It will likely get really ugly if the time comes when I have to serve eviction papers to her because she never answers the door and refuses to speak to our landlord over the phone, for some reason. I've pretty much made all the concessions I'm willing to make to bribe her to leave without a fuss, and I have a feeling there will be a fuss anyway because that's the kind of person she is

If you want to keep living in your current place, I would definitely take her up on her offer to move out.
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
She already provided the landlord with a written statement that she would move out at the end of July when I signed the new lease that only has my name on it. I'm pretty safe there. She would still get the 30 days notice to vacate, though, yeah. If nothing else it would light a fire under her ass.

The real drama bomb is going to happen when I assert myself if she tries to make me wiggle further on concessions I made to make it smoother for her to get the fuck out of my life . She's supposed to take over ownership of the car before she moves so that:
a.) She'll have transportation
and
b.) I can finally replace this shitty car


I suspect she'll try to get me to keep technically owning it, which is something I absolutely will not do. If she wants to have a car, I'm not going to be responsible for its insurance and maintenance. Either she becomes the full legal owner of the car, or she doesn't get a car.

I have to type these things out into this thread sometimes to confirm my sanity, because she is the worst, most toxic, narcissistic self-victimizer I think I've ever met. Everything is a sad conspiracy against her, everybody else is an asshole for not enabling her. She's a lot more articulate than me, and she'll lay out ways that actually I'm being the unreasonable and abusive one because the idea of having bills to pay triggers her anxiety or whatever. I think she says things like, "I'm eating this cereal, is that okay? It's one of your cereals," specifically to try and bait me into saying something like, "All the cereals are technically mine," so that she can twist it into me threatening to withhold food or something.

It's very nerve-wracking, which is why I've been doing my best to distract myself with housework and video games. I also started working out again, which is uh, interesting. I gained like 30 lbs since the last time I did any serious lifting, and have also been lazy as hell, so the new center of gravity made the squats way harder than they needed to be. But I think I'll make progress just fine; my excuses for skipping gym days and eventually giving up in the past involved me giving way too much of a shit about my ex's schedule.
 

June 28th.....to the surprise of no one. She must have given him a pity handy to earn her keep

Quote from: deadly_pudding
In what is probably my most shameful moment of weakness to date, I'm letting my ex stay in the apartment. I can't muster enough malice to make her homeless in Rochester, the former murder capital of the United States

My terms were she still needs to get a job and pay for shit, and she can't rely on me for transportation any more. So now I guess I can just refer to her as my shitty roommate. She cooked like 2 meals today on her day off, and didn't wash any dishes. I'm passive-aggressively ordering Thai food for just myself as we speak, because I can't be arsed to wash like every pot and skillet I own (what the fuck, lady) and then cook something.

We're past the heated emotions/viscerally miserable to be in the same building as each other stage, and now she's just kind of this horrible loser who lives with me out of pity.

Anyway, on the bright side I'll have like several hundred dollars freed up every month because she's going to start pulling her weight in August. And if she doesn't, then I guess I will print her out a google search for food pantries [/size]
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Honestly, the situation is livable. I've established my own general space outside the bedroom, and I'm just treating it like a studio apartment that she Kramers into periodically. My chief complaint at this point is that she still doesn't clean up after herself, which is just like a standard roommate malfunction. She'll either move out on her own next semester, or I'll be able to move out easily next summer, as opposed to this year when I only gave myself like 2 months notice. It turns out my budget develops all sorts of possibilities when I'm not buying her presents or going through the motions of taking her out on dates . I'll be able to afford to see a dentist soon, and finally get my thin enamel coated again for the first time since like high school.

I have no doubt she'll find a job; her primary obstacle this summer was the fact that she's contractually obligated to not have a job outside the entrepreneurship bootcamp until it ends in August. Worst case scenario, she works as a cashier on campus, but she's in talks with an accountant recruiting agency, too.

edit: I've also been going to the gym and practicing piano again, so I have enough of my own stuff going on to not be like laser-focused on the situation any more. I'm doing okay, I'm just kinda melodramatic.
   


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, it's weird as hell. I still get mad at my ex (who I still live with, because my life is a catastrophe) when she tries to like take my dirty plates to the kitchen. Like, I feel like, in that moment, she's trying to pressure me to be domestic with her. Then later I feel like an asshole because:
a.) It's just dishes
and
b.) I'm gonna end up being the one who washes those dishes anyway
 

In July, someone asked if his ex was moving out Aug 1st or if it's dragging on and on. LOL at a woman dating a desperate man still living with his ex

Quote from: deadly_pudding
It's going to drag on at least until like springtime, but she has a job now, so there's that. I'm making the best of it. I have a date with a woman who's actually attracted to me on Sunday

I managed to make the parts of the apartment that I primarily occupy stop being eyesores with my cleaning rampage a few weeks ago, so I'm satisfied enough with that for now. After forcibly shifting my own lifestyle to a healthier state, it's kind of become clear that I had picked up a lot of her bad habits over time. I fold my laundry again instead of living out of the basket

Anyway, this time we both have effectively a year's notice to have our own shit together by the end of the lease. She'll be eligible for her co-op semester by like March or April, so if she manages to be even slightly not a fuckup, she'll objectively be making enough to either move out or stay when I move out after that.
 


So his new flame sounds like a fuckup match made in heaven

Quote from: deadly_pudding
It's pretty much drama free ~for now~. Might pick up again in a couple weeks when I start pressuring her for the rent money she agreed to start paying in August. I'm also about to ask her to please move her laundry pile back into the bedroom, which I put off for a week or so because it's insane that I have to ask an adult to please pick up their clothes from the main living area.

I've been on a few dates with an old flame. She broke up with a fiance last year, moved back here, and she's still bouncing between her sister's houses while she tries to find an apartment she doesn't hate, so she's been very understanding about my living situation. It's all kind of weird and comical, though- we're both really attracted to each other, hence why she reached out to me when I resurfaced on dating sites, but neither of us has our own place to ourselves, so we've been making out in the movie theater like stupid teenagers.

Self care is going well. I've been counting calories, eating insane amounts of protein, and lifting weights, and my limits have gone up across the board like 60 lbs or more from where I started, and I've also lost like 12 lbs since June. I'm on the second unit of the online piano lessons I'm watching on youtube, which is starting to get into using both hands at once. I've also been trying to stay on top of keeping the apartment tidy better than I used to, hence the first paragraph where I don't want clothes lying around the floor.
 

August 8th

Quote from: deadly_pudding
Is there a German word for when you realize that your kindness is a finite resource, and it's close to being depleted? I'm at like the Peak Oil of continuing to be what I previously considered to be a "good" person.

The car that I told my ex she could take ownership of, once she could pay for insurance and stuff, needed repairs this week for engine trouble, and now I'm finding myself very seriously weighing the cost/benefit scrapping the car, buying my replacement, and telling my ex to pound sand. It's fucking insane that I'm still dumping money into this scrapheap. My saving grace is that my boss gave me a standing offer to help with the down payment on a replacement car, which at this point I'll have to accept, because I spent like half my saved up down payment on repairs yesterday.

Pros: I don't have to keep this stupid shitty car alive on the pipe-dream pretense that my ex will take it off my hands when she gets a job. I stop hemorrhaging money hundreds of dollars at a time every 8 weeks when this piece of Korean garbage has a malfunction, and start having four wheel drive, and maybe bluetooth in my radio.

Cons: She will absolutely spiral into The Dark Place if I drop that on her, and I'll spend the next 10 months being reminded daily that I'm a monster for directly orchestrating her inability to go to work or school. If I give her a bus pass and tell her to deal with it, she could probably get to and from campus okay, but this city's buses are hot garbage and she wouldn't be able to use them to get to a job reliably, especially if it's at night or something. Even if I keep giving her rides places, that's a shitty compromise, and totally incompatible with the concept of her having a job someplace besides the university campus, because she sure as shit won't be allowed to borrow the new car like she does the old one.

I thought about signing up for counseling this morning, then realized I probably won't be able to afford the repair bill if I do that. I think I don't have the social tools to assert myself in a way that can't be instantly deconstructed by a guilt trip
 

August 23rd
 
Quote from: deadly_pudding
Here's the drama update you crave.

The yesterday I got scolded for not making dinner when I got home. Today I got a text message to "fucking fix it" because my ex doesn't know how to install a printer. I think she's also mad at me because Fourth Time Was The Charm for asking her to move her clothes and laundry baskets out of the main living area so I could actually clean the floors.

It's just like, fuck you? You don't get to haul your broke, dumb ass out of the bedroom that I pay for and order me around any more. If she expects to come home from her job (!!!) and find leftovers from dinner tonight, she's mistaken. That pork roast, that's the thing that is thawed, is gonna take like at least an hour to cook, and I'm not gonna want to deal with it after spending an hour after work at the gym. I'm having eggs for dinner.

I'm like *this* close to just actively treating her like she's a bad child to her face. Clean your room, or you're grounded. She's like 5 years older than me, how is this a thing
 


Quote from: deadly_pudding
Yeah, no, New York is one of those states where you can't weasel out of a lease easily. If my understanding of how renting works here is correct, the "fine" is the rest of the year's rent. I'm not gonna nuke my own credit in a pathetic bid to take my ex's down with me lol. I like how you seem to think I didn't spend like a solid 2 months obsessively exploring my options to the extreme detriment of like every area of my life after I broke up with her. Are you one of those Three Olives bourgeois goons who can just afford to move on demand? That must be fucking nice.
 

The end...for now. Explaining why he hasn't gotten his dick wet since 2014

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I can enlighten you on that one. I haven't fucked since like 2014. You just kind of give up after experiencing rejection enough times. In a particular emotional state, you can accept a lot of things that a healthy individual would find unacceptable, especially if you can be convinced it's your fault.

I experience erectile dysfunction at an early age because my body like actively annihilates testosterone. My doctor wants to change my medication soon because my bloodwork indicates that, after the initial uptick in blood testosterone levels, my system doubled down on breaking down the new stuff again

Anyway, my ex took that whole business extremely personally and decided that I was lying to her to whenever I said she was attractive. This, coupled with the fact that she hates her body and it gradually became a household capital crime to be physically intimate (she's fat, which I have no problem with whatsoever, but god help you if you even accidentally touch like the entire front of her, that's how you get yelled out of a dead sleep at 1:30 in the morning), I eventually just gave up. Why even try, if she hates being touched or kissed. Of course, later I found out that she's been stringing along like a small army of dudes from overseas, so I guess it's okay to be attracted to her if there's no threat of ever meeting in person.

Anyway, that's one of many ways to not have sex since 2015, while you were still convincing yourself that you needed to keep this exclusive relationship afloat.



New posts August 31st

Quote from: meat police
So she gets a part-time job and she'll suddenly need to crack down and save for a deposit, after that it's a leisurely apt hunt. You're looking at two semesters minimum at this rate and your failsafe plan is you move out?! That's insane man, c'mon. I'm rooting for you but I feel that it'll likely get worse before it gets better.


Almost 4 months to plan on GTFO wasn't enough time for him :tuss:

Quote from: deadly_pudding
There's not really other failsafe plans? My original plan to move out on my own this past summer was a bust because I gave myself too short of notice. I knew I needed to replace my car (even if I didn't decide to pass that Cursed Item to my ex, I was paying as much or more in repairs to keep it alive as I would on a car payment), so my choices were save up for a down payment on a car, or save up for security/first month at an apartment. Ultimately, I had to settle on the car instead of moving, because the up-front was a few hundred dollars cheaper.

The difference next summer is that she'll have a history of making enough money to at least be some other poor bastard's roommate. I'm on the hook for rent because my name's on the lease, too, so I can't just peace out and expect everything to be fine. She would have already moved out, but her parents wouldn't take her and none of her friends wanted to have her couch surfing. I got a raise and also freed up a really infuriating amount of cash by not buying her little presents all the time in a desperate bid to keep her happy, so I'll have easily enough cash to move into a probably better apartment when the lease is up next summer if I need to. Gonna finally get some dental work done, too I have a broken tooth that probably needs to go, and I need that plastic shit that they coat your molars with that I haven't had touched up since high school.
 

Quote from: Lian
I think the concern is that you would have to live with your EX for another year. She sounds like a bad flatmate regardless of her baggage.

If her name isnt on the lease she and where she stays is no longer your problem. Time to look after yourself and that includes a home where you can be you, where you are free from reminders etc
 

 :geithner: :evola: Goon acts like a responsible adult by cleaning up after himself. So much for her not being on the lease so he can kick her out!
Quote from: deadly_pudding
Both of our names are on the lease

Originally she was going to submit paperwork stating that she was going to remove herself from the lease this year, but then her mom decided she couldn't move back in like a week after she initially gave her a vague answer.

Believe me, I would love to not have her around and continuing to seriously impede my lifestyle. Let me tell you how I've been living for 6 years: I consider the fact that I now neatly make my bed every morning and put all my laundry away to be a form of inadvertent psychological warfare against her. It was such a chore trying to keep a clean house around her that I eventually gave up and moved to her level, apparently.

I think this is one of those cases where constant ambient emotional abuse during her childhood has rendered her extremely hostile toward concepts like "clean your room". I wouldn't say it's a huge fight, but usually sometime around the fourth time I ask her, she begrudgingly moves her laundry basket into the bedroom, washes the dishes that she was letting pile up in her room, and then later gloats/bargains about how she "did a lot" today. And it's just like, "that's nice, lady. I spent 2 weekends throwing shit away, dusting and washing surfaces, and moving furniture to make this place less of an eyesore. So stop impeding the maintenance on that process." 
 





Obese and Triggered

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2017, 04:56:58 PM »
+9
Hahah this is a glorious saga of purestrain goony failure. The only topper would be if he'd post a pic of his girlfriend so we could all feel even better about our life choices.


"Oh sure, this heroin addiction and AIDs is a bit of a bummer, but at least I'm not like that sad sack deadly_pudding. Har har har!"

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2017, 06:02:19 PM »
+9
Meet Maggie Fletcher. She likes to skydive and talk about skydiving. She broke up with a guy after dating him for 3.5 years and dated her ex-skydiving instructor on the rebound. Did I mention she likes to skydive?? SKYDIVE!!



Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Well, I wasn't going to post here because I thought I had my shit together, but I guess I don't, so here goes.

Things have been bad with my ex for about a year. Back in August I told him I was unhappy (for about the third time in nine months) but that at this point it was my fault for staying since he wasn't going to change anything, and that the next he heard about it would be me moving out and I couldn't predict what would happen with us from that point.

The following month, I started skydiving and it was like a band-aid. I was spending all my weekends at the drop zone, having the time of my life, and it distracted me from our problems, which reared their head again last month. So I finally pulled the plug. He was okay, I was okay, we were civil. We are still cleaning a few things up, like I have some property over there and he's still on my health insurance, but all in all we're civil and it's been a clean break except for a few logistical things here and there.

Enter my skydive instructor, who professed his feelings for me right around the time of the breakup. We started dating and I rebounded hard. He said all the right things and I figured since my relationship had been "kind of" over for about a year, and that I'd had a chance to process that it was ending, it wasn't a true rebound, right? Well then he and I had our first huge fight and I'm having a really disproportionate reaction to the fact that we may not make it through this. Normally, after a one-month whirlwind romance, you'd cut your losses, right? Well, that's not what's happening here. I'm losing it, and I don't know how much of it to attribute to my ex and how much of it to attribute to the new guy.

I am not sad about my ex--I don't call, text, or email him unless necessary. But I've barely known the new guy a few months and I'm losing it. I've had to delete his number and text messages so I won't call him because I need some space, which I admit is kind of fucking batshit, but I do feel better knowing I'll really have to search him out if I want to talk to him. And I won't be able to skydive until the 1st at the earliest, so it's not like I will just see him around or bump into him.

I don't know if we're going to break up or not. The fight was basically my fault, but he's not letting go of his hurt feelings, and it's been a week, which is a disproportionate reaction itself, so this relationship is probably untenable and I'm going to have to deal with the fallout from two breakups instead of one and it's going to suck and it's going to hurt but goddammit I'm 37 and I've handled worse than this so I will get through this with as much grace as possible.
Wish me luck, goons.



Out of the frying pan and into the fire. I'm betting she had a thing going on with her SKYDIVING instructor while she was with her ex.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
This was hugely poignant for me. If I talk to my guy again, which I hope I will, I'll explain to him that my judgment and reactions are going to be off simply because my circumstances have changed so much in such a short time. No one could make a transition from steady if boring three-year live-in relationship with a dull but practical lawyer to an exciting, exhausting, mysterious whirlwind romance with an exciting skydive instructor without a few adjustments. Anyone would have overreactions and lapses in judgment and the transition won't be seamless. He went through something similar a couple of years ago, and I doubt he handled it gracefully either, so maybe he'll understand. And if not, then he's probably not a very good guy anyway and I should be thankful we're not staying together.


Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Talked to the new guy and he eased a lot of my concerns. He had previously said he wasn't going to throw the fight in my face, and just wanted to move forward, and when we talked, things were very much back to the way they were before--he was cheerful and pleasant, and happy to talk to me. He had been pretty silent for a few days, but it turns out his buddy had been living with him and borrowing his car while he took care of some business, and he was trying to be supportive to him.

I keep thinking about what FreakofScience said about how my reactions to everything are skewed, and that's totally right. I'm sitting here fretting and stewing and crying like the world has ended because he only texted me three times on Wednesday, and when we talked yesterday it was like things had never changed between us.

There is still a chance this could blow up in my face, but we both seem to want very much to make things work, so there is also a chance this could end up being really great.

I'm visiting family for a week and will see the new guy for New Year's and then an awesome three-day weekend of as much skydiving as I can handle, weather permitting, and I think the time and distance will do us both some good. Merry Christmas everyone!


Quote from: many johnnys
Definitely a rebound. And it looks like it's run its course.



Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Yeah, all signs point to rebound. It sure doesn't feel like it though. I knew this could bite me in the ass, and I knew I was setting myself up to get hurt. Not my best form to get involved with my instructor (former instructor--I'm not a student anymore so it's not like there's anything dodgy going on there), but hopefully we can be mature about it. It really sucks, though--I wish we could have what we had, but something like that has to be too good to be true. 


Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
I spoke to the new guy again and he admitted he was still apprehensive about the relationship. While he seems to have let go of the problems stemming from our fight, it's more that he says we went too fast, too soon, and honestly, he's right. We went from zero to 100 in a matter of days, and even though we knew each other for a few months before any of that happened, we didn't really go through a dating or "getting to know you" phase. He started by saying maybe we should just be friends, and I said if that's what he wants, I just want him to be happy. Then he said he wasn't sure he could just be friends with me, that he missed me, and maybe we should just see how things play out. We canceled our New Year's plans but I know I'll see him this weekend skydiving, and we agreed we could maybe do something then. He said he doesn't want to break up, and I don't either, and that he does love me, but that we need to take a step back and start over and go slower this time.

It sounds like bullshit as I'm typing it, but he's never lied to me or fed me lines before so I have no reason to believe he's anything but sincere, and honestly this sounds better than the chaotic breakneck speed we were going with before. Honestly, I barely had time to breathe and heal from my last relationship before jumping into another really serious one. Trying again at a more natural pace is a lot more appealing to me, and will let him get to know the real me, rather than scooping up the newly-single, broken, damaged individual I was after I ended things with my ex.

I'm optimistic because it's obvious that we really care about each other, and I think we can be mature enough to see each other regularly without any kind of drama. I'll be happy to see him this weekend--we have missed each other a lot, although I think the space has helped with our hurt feelings a bit--but I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out without the pressure of it being super-serious right off the bat. This is the smart decision we SHOULD have made right after I broke up with the ex, rather than jumping in headfirst. We'll see, breakup megathread. Wish me luck.


Her ex is such a great guy but she was anxious to jump on her instructors cock so fuck her ex.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Haven't talked to the new guy, and don't plan to until I see him this weekend at the drop zone. It's really helped me refocus on my own healing and understand that I'm not upset about him, just readjusting to not being with my ex. You just don't go from a three year relationship like that without fallout. Without the new guy distracting me, I'm able to focus on my feelings from the breakup and start to get my head back on straight. I still struggle with some insecurity and doubt about the new guy, but I think my perspective is in the right place now. Even if we end up not staying together, I think I'll be okay, because I think what I'm mostly dealing with is just processing the breakup. I guess when I said I was OK from the breakup but a mess from the new guy, that wasn't totally right.

I know a lot of what I just said makes sense, but I think I'm making progress. I have talked to the ex a bit, but only about car stuff. I don't think he wants to be with me any more than I want to be with him, but there are definitely some feelings and adjustment happening. I'm actually looking forward to the process and what happens from it, because I was with my ex for a lot longer than I really should have been. He's a great guy and I want him to be happy, but he and I weren't right for each other.



Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Things with the new guy are over for the time being. I don't love that, but it's probably for the best. I've spoken to him a bit and learned that he has gone on a date, which sucked to learn but it's okay. Our relationship, as short as it was, probably wouldn't have worked out in the long-term, even though we have strong feelings for each other. We agreed to be friends, put the past behind us, and not engage in any drama. December has been such a shitshow, between ending my long relationship and all the issues I've had with the rebound guy, that I want to be drama-free and just have fun for awhile. So I joined Match and went out last night and got a phone number.

Which just led me to the realization that I'm not ready to date. I want to move on from my ex, but it's been a long time since I've been single, and even longer since I ended a long-term relationship. It's especially hard because I never wanted to leave him in the first place. I loved him very much, and probably still do a little bit, but I only left because our relationship was so bad, and after talking to him about it multiple times and trying to fix it. I know I did the right thing by leaving, but it hurts so goddamn much. I miss him and our life together, I miss his family, even his stupid little dog.

Even if you know you did the right thing, and you are doing everything you can to heal, HOW do you deal with the bone-crushing emptiness and loneliness of moving on? I know this needs to happen, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life crying about it. I know it's only been a month, and the rebound didn't let me properly grieve, so I'm dealing with it fresh, almost like we just broke up recently. But it hurts so goddamn bad that I can't even get out of bed right now.



 :sjw:
Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Not that I recommend it or anything, but heartbreak is a very effective diet. I have lost about seven pounds over the past month* between stress and being so upset that I can't eat more than a tiny amount at a time.

*That doesn't sound like much, but keep in mind I'm already pretty thin. I wanted to lose a couple of pounds, but now that I have, I'm a little shocked at how I look.I know...I'm working on just eating the healthiest food I can find. Even if it all tastes like cardboard, at least I'll be getting the nutrients I need. I haven't been drinking hardly anything besides water and coffee, though. Alcohol makes me feel sick too, though I'll occasionally have a glass of wine before bed.

I'm not trying to turn this into a diet or anything--I have a history of disordered eating already, and I'm running a marathon in five weeks, so I need my strength. If my appetite doesn't return very soon, I'm going to go talk to someone. It's one thing to process feelings and let them affect you, but I'm not going to let this affect my health.


 :tom:
Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
I was just about over the rebound guy when he texted me. He mentioned he's thinking of moving away. When we were together, his whole thing was if things were going well with us, he'd stay, but now he's back on the fence. I think he wanted me to be sad and ask him to stay, but I kept it conversational and instead asked what he'd be doing for work if he moved, and made a joke about all the people he'd miss if he moved. I think it set me back a little emotionally, but I'm keeping all the things I didn't like about him in mind and just working through my feelings about my real ex. Trying to stay the course.

Also, my appetite is coming back. I can't eat as much as I used to, but I can get through half-meals, and food is starting to taste more like food rather than cardboard. I think I'm getting better, guys.
 

Skydiving Hunk didn't work out well so she wonders if she should have worked on her relationship instead of hopping on a new cock. She still uses him for labor to fix her car.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
A disproportionate response to what? For the record, I'm going through the same thing--dumped my guy of almost 3.5 years because of issues that weren't getting any better, and now I'm second-guessing whether we could have worked it out if I'd talked more, or made him talk more, or asked more questions, or maybe moved out but not broken up (for the record I was mostly unhappy with our living situation; I was in a position to move out and he wasn't).

I saw him yesterday and it was hard. All I wanted to do was talk to him and work it out. He works on my cars, because most service shops are completely inept, and he's a genius with cars, and he does it for cheap. He spent two hours fixing what a service station took three hours to mess up, and fixed some other stuff as well. He did a really good job keeping it all about cars, but I just wanted to grab him and cry and explain why I left and ask if he still loved me and it was raining and it was all very poetic.

 I bought a bag of potato chips and ate half of it instead.
I'm still paying for his health insurance too. It's not super expensive, but it's money I could certainly use. But at the same time I don't want him to go without health insurance because he's diabetic. I guess eventually I'm going to have to harden the fuck up and say he's got to get his own. Thank god the ACA won't let insurance companies discriminate against him anymore.
 


Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
From my own story, rebound (skydiver) guy has decided he misses me and wants to see me again, maybe start over and see if things can work out. The weather is clearing up a little so I was going to go up there anyway (it's been three weeks, between weather and some traveling), so I figured I'd head up Friday night to see him. We spoke Monday and it was like old times--I didn't realize until my alarm went off that we'd been on the phone all night. Then things got quiet again. I figured I'd give him (and myself) some space, and if I go up there tomorrow night and things are weird, I just won't stay with him. Just get a hotel and chill by myself until it's time to skydive.

I feel much clearer about it this time around. I've spent our time apart processing my feelings for my ex, and it's put things in perspective. I'm seeing rebound guy as a prospect, not my security blanket, and willing to put up with much less bullshit and drama this time around. While I'm not completely over my ex (will I ever be?), I'm approaching this as if it were a casual dating scenario rather than making it into some huge important relationship. We'll see how it goes. If it's a disaster, I may just write him off and move on. 
 

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Rebound guy was saying all the things I wanted my ex to say, and my ex was so tepid toward me I ate it up and over-invested. Rebound didn't get scared from that--even now he says he meant everything he said at the time--but because of our fight he got scared. Right now I feel like he's a little hot and cold, too, which I mentioned to him, but I'm taking that as part of the circumstances right now. I'm hot and cold too--not 100% all in with the rebound guy. So we're both hot and cold, and that's all right. A month ago that would have crushed me, but some space and time have led me to realize I was really upset that the guy I loved most--my ex--didn't make me a priority. Once I started dealing with that, my feelings for rebound guy were put in perspective--he was a band-aid. I feel bad saying that because I do care about him, but when we were together it felt like he was the love of my life. Totally dramatic, I know, but I realize now that I was putting my feelings for my ex onto him. If we're going to get together, and this goes for you and everyone else who's starting over, we both deserve a clean slate with no leftover expectations from our last relationships.
 

Talking about the 5 stages of grief

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
All of this is so true. I go between huge waves of denial (rebound guy) and despair (ex).

Rebound guy canceled our date tonight, which was okay. I may see him tomorrow. I came home and cried over my ex. It made me kinda realize that I am using rebound guy to distract myself from my feelings for my ex, which is not fair to him. It's not that I don't have feelings for the rebound guy--I do--but let's be real, he's a distraction. I am distraught over my ex. I am disappointed about the rebound. There's a big gap between the two, which makes sense given the emotional investment in each.

Speaking as a lady of age...older ladies rock! Most of the guys I've dated have been 4-7 years younger than me, and it works out. It sucks for online dating, because at my age (37) I can attract 30 year olds but I don't show up in their search parameters. Know whose parameters I show up in? 52 year olds'.

My Match profile is still disabled. A waste of $60, but whatever.
 


Oh boys...I love to skydive *giggle* I'm the only woman alive who does this, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
The best I got was, "Oh, you guys broke up? He was such a cutie (true)....oh...that's your new guy...he seems...not your type (also true)."

Considering it was my stepmother who can't talk about anything but her grandkids, and this is the worst I heard, I'm calling it a win.

Flirting IS fun...and being able to travel around (platonically) with other male skydivers and go skydive in other cities, without having my ex worry about it, is also fun. Skydiving is a predominantly male sport, though, so I have to be careful to remind them that I am not ready to date (except the rebound guy, which is probably going nowhere).
 


Her ex is a lawyer but they lived with his parents in a huge mansion??

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
Who moves out and who stays should probably be determined on who can afford the place (if either) better alone, or with a roommate. In my case, we lived with his parents in a huge mansion, I was unhappy and made plans to meet up with potential roommates even before I broke up with him. Not to ambush him, but just because I didn't want any hostility in his parents' house and I wanted it done as quickly as possible. The worst part, there was still a week of me living there before I could move out, and we lived in the guest house. I had hoped he would stay in the main house, since there were four vacant bedrooms, but he kept staying in our little corner of the property. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but most people don't have the privilege of multiple bedrooms. So there's definitely someone sleeping on the couch, in another room, or building a pillow fort on your side of the bed. It sucks all around.
 

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
My ex was kinda overweight, and I typically go for very fit, active guys. Yet...he was the sexiest thing I've ever seen, and to this day is still the hottest guy I ever dated. I don't know, it's just the right combination of features and personality. I don't think I'd ever go for a chubby guy again, but he completely did it for me. I guess everything else was SO good that the extra 30 pounds didn't really factor in. Basically, there's no accounting for taste.
 

 :obammy:
Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
It's been two months, almost to the day, since I ended my 3 1/2 year relationship, and a month since I ended the rebound (who still texts and calls me from time to time).

Yesterday, for the first time since my first breakup, I felt good all day, didn't close my office door to cry about the ex or the rebound, and felt genuinely good all day long.

Today I was at the gym and for the first time noticed all the cute guys around me. It reminded me of when I was learning to skydive. Everything is so overwhelming in the beginning, that you really only notice your instructors and how windy it is. I remember the first time I noticed the plane after exit, the first time I saw noticed other canopies, the first time I noticed how fast the ground was coming up at me...and this was the first time I started to notice other guys. Not in a "I need to be in a relationship RIGHT NOW" kind of way, but more in a "hey he's cute, if he asked me out I'd probably say yes" kind of way.

I was talking to the rebound today (last week we talked and he said he wanted to try again, and we've been chatting intermittently since then), and today he said "let me call you back in a bit" and it occurred to me that if he doesn't...I don't really care.

I wouldn't have believed it a month ago, but all that stuff in the OP is totally true. I know I'll have setbacks, but things are getting steadily better. I don't feel like hyperventilating when I think of my ex, and I don't feel a weird sense of urgency to move on with the rebound. The part about exercise is especially true. I signed up for krav maga, and it's absolutely as aggressive as its reputation suggests. I was already active, but between training for a race or working out at the gym in the morning, with krav maga at night, I feel fucking amazing. You will too! Just let yourself cry, talk to people you trust and care about, and stay active and busy as possibly. And when you start to feel better, buy your friends/parent/sister/whoever put up with your crap for a month or six a nice present as a thank you for getting you through it.
   


February 18th, 2 months after hooking up with her instructor. You can just not go you confused cunt.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
So, I'm needing a little advice on how to handle the fallout from the fling with my skydiver friend from last December. For reference, I usually go to the dropzone to jump and stay all weekend unless the weather is bad. Last week we had a big argument and he asked me not to come back. He doesn't own the place so he can't keep me from coming, but he does live onsite so if I go there and start, say, flirting with other guys, or getting in his face, he can't exactly get away since he lives and works there. The obvious answer is, duh Maggie, don't do those things, which I don't plan on doing. Guys do flirt with me--the sport is 85% male and I am a youngish single woman--but aside from rebuffing their advances, I want to make any contact with him as peaceful as possible.

I've already decided to go only on days when the weather is good, and not to camp out there (which I usually do every weekend) until summertime, when there are a lot more people camping out and it's not just me and him onsite overnight wondering what each other is up to. The more bodies onsite, the fewer chances for us to get on each other's nerves. I'll also cut back on the beer-drinking and dinner-having with random skydivers, because we all always end up hanging out at the end of the night, which again leads to more chances for friction.

I've also decided that, now that the weather is warming up, I can pack my rig outside and avoid him there too. Most of the professionals (instructors, camera flyers, editors, etc.) work inside the hangar, and I tend to run into him there. If I move outside, I will be uncomfortable because packing on the ground sucks, but it'll give him some space.

I just want to lay low and not draw too much attention to myself, because I can still see the pain on his face when he looks at me, but I also know he's as frustrated as I am with the drama. But I always have the choice to leave if it gets too hot--he doesn't because he lives and works there. So I want to make it as painless as possible by staying under his radar. I'd go to another dropzone, but there are four others in the area--the two big ones are better for more experienced skydivers, and the other two are teeny-tiny. I do plan on visiting the smaller ones, but there are a lot of classes and meets at my home dropzone that I don't want to miss out on. So while I'm not going to let him chase me away from skydiving, I do want to make things as pain-free as possible.

Is there anything else I can do to mimimize contact until he stops being mad at me? Anything I'm missing? I keep trying to tell myself to just stay away for the time being, but that will just hamper my progress, and there's really no reason we can't coexist peacefully. It is a BIG dropzone. But I'm not trying to ask for trouble, so any suggestions are welcome.


Dropzone Bicycle  :stewart: :reagan: :stewart:

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
Interestingly, there is someone I met a few weeks ago who is interested in me, and he asked for my number right in front of the ex-fling (not knowing the history, of course, he's new to our DZ). I guess I'm starting to realize, based on the way this guy's acting and some of the things he's said to me before and since we split, that the fling meant more to him than he initially let on. It's some pretty heavy stuff, honestly.

I guess part of what I need to do is stop caring what people say so much. Last week, upon seeing me walking back from my car with the guy who'd asked for my number, one of his friends decided we were hooking up and that I was the "dropzone bicycle."* This infuriates me to no end, but I am determined to keep my personal life off the DZ. We are, after all, flinging ourselves out of planes to our certain deaths unless we can keep our focus, and I really like this sport and don't want to die doing it.

I guess I know what I need to do--hold my head up, ignore the shit-talkers, and stay as safe and sane as I can out there. I was just wondering if I was on the right track, or if there was something else I could consider doing to keep the peace.

*Skydivers may have a cool hobby, but that does not mean we are all decent people.
 

Look guys, I SKYDIVE and have pics to prove I SKYDIVE!!

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
Because the petty part of me wants to make him realize what he's missing and come crawling back? I know he still has feelings for me and I still do for him, too. I know how ridiculously childish and stupid that is, and I don't want to be like that anymore, so I'm aiming for peace instead. I genuinely do want him to be happy. Ideally, with me, but I realize how unlikely that is. We're just too destructive to each other.

And you never have to ask twice to see skydiving photos! I didn't take these, but they are stills from a video taken by one of my jump partners.




Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
I went out for drinks last night and somehow managed to resist the temptation to message him. I guess that means I really am on the road to recovery. I want nothing more than to be back with him, but if it's going to happen, it needs to be done in the right way, not after a few too many, while I'm still feeling too raw from everything.

I did cancel a date using the (true) "I'm not over my ex" excuse. I wasn't interested in the guy anyway and he was getting too pushy.

I highly recommend skydiving if you can swing the expense. It's a dangerous sport, to be sure, but safer than you might think if you do things the way you're trained. It basically saved my friend's sanity while she was going through a divorce, and it's helping me put things in perspective, too.


Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
I've been doing fine since my breakups but my running route took me past my and my ex's old apartment today and the nostalgia kind of got to me. I really miss living together with him. But I know the breakup was the right thing to do, and I know I'm on the right track. I will probably have to end up changing my route for a little while, because the times we lived together in our own apartment (we lived on his parents' property the last year of our relationship, and two years before that in our own place) were the happiest times I can remember.

I couldn't skydive this weekend due to the weather, so I went and ran errands and went shopping to keep myself busy. It kind of reminded me of our weekends when we were together. I often joked that we spent so little time together, despite actually living together, that if we broke up, our day-to-day lives would essentially be the same. This weekend basically proved me right. It was exactly how it had been when we were together and before I started spending all my time skydiving, except I went to sleep alone instead of with him. That's sad, right? No relationship should be that lonely, right?



 :tom:
Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
On another note, I've started to move on myself--my girlfriend wanted to introduce me to a visiting skydiver, and as soon as we started talking (not even flirting), my own rebound guy noticed and started cockblocking me. He talks about me to my friends--who are tired of hearing about the whole thing--but won't talk TO me. Come on, guy, we dated for thirty seconds in December, time to move on.


2 Weeks after "we dated for thirty seconds in December, time to move on."

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
My ex-fling and I have started to build a hesitant yet friendly rapport--we were getting to a place where I could visit his place of work (the dropzone) and we could joke around. This weekend he visited the dropzone I've been spending most of my time at, and it didn't go well. I thought things were fine but I guess I said something that set him off and he sent me a series of semi-vicious text messages. I didn't respond and I don't plan to, and I guess I don't need any advice. I'm just sad that we can't work things out and be friendly. I'm so tired of the hostility and the fighting and the nasty quips back and forth. I hate that we can't talk things out, and anything I say, even an apology, will be met with more vitriol. I hate that when I don't respond to him, he corners my friends to make sure they have his side of the story, when all of our friends want to stay out of it.

I hate that this "relationship" lasted three weeks and we're still fighting six months later. I hate that our community is so small that I can't get away from him without leaving the sport. All I want to do is skydive and have fun and learn, and that's why I moved to a different dropzone. He didn't have to show up. I don't know why he came. He used to brag about never having to pay for skydives because he was a staff member. I feel like I can't get away from him. I'm tired and I don't want to fight anymore.
 

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher
 
I did mention the whole incident to the safety officer at my new DZ, who knows me well, and showed him the texts. I said he's a very good skydiver, and very safe, but emotionally he's a disaster. The safety officer seemed concerned and said he would keep an eye on the situation. I don't think my ex will show up again for a long time, even though he liked the place--he's just too attached to his own DZ and pretty broke and cheap, so it's not like he's going to want to spring for tickets when he can skydive for almost free anytime.

I just took my ex off my insurance. After eight months. It hurt. I guess it was finally admitting that we were not going to try to work it out.

Now just to sell off the cars he still has, and get back the last few items still rolling around in his house.

I thought I was fine, I've been dating around and feel happier alone than with him. But it made me worry--what if he needs coverage? I doubt he's signed up for coverage on his own. No one's looking out for him, and at 31, he should be looking out for himself, but he's not. I know it's not my job but I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if he suddenly has a health crisis. I know that's not my responsibility and it should all be on him but I can't really help it. I still care about him.
 
It's just hard because I do still care about him and probably always will. He's a good person and we were friends before we got together, and will probably be friends again at some point. But we broke up because he wouldn't grow up and take care of himself (wouldn't move out of his parents' admittedly fabulous mansion, wouldn't go to the doctor or dentist, 30 pounds overweight despite having diabetes and would not consider using insulin, wouldn't get a job, etc.). Our relationship was going nowhere and I figured if I'm going to be effectively alone, maybe I should make myself available to someone who might care about himself and me.

It really is too bad, though. Despite his laziness, he's a sweet, kind person and I miss him a lot. I just really hope it doesn't take a major health crisis (like it did before when he was diagnosed with diabetes) for him to wake up and take ownership of his life.
 




 

Obese and Triggered

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2017, 06:41:55 PM »
+11
Woah, she skydives? That came out of nowhere!

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2017, 07:01:00 PM »
+8
Stupid bitch can't go one whole paragraph without bringing up skydiving. Skydiving this, skydiving that. Insufferable. Its shit like that that makes me want to drink.

If you don't get that this is a joke post you are 100% retarded tia.

Yankees are Scum

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2017, 07:17:28 PM »
+14
Dropzone bicycle is a hell of a burn. Also Pick's whole Hugh saga would fit in this thread. A cripple crawled under a truck so he wouldn't have to deal with her.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2017, 07:20:38 PM by Yankees are Scum »

anti-nigger machine

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2017, 08:29:38 PM »
+14
Maggie Fletcher is every unsatisfied cunt on dating sites. Over the hill. Doing a single hobby in the hopes it will make them interesting to others. Confusing being easy with being desirable.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher" post="460841659
Seconding this. A couple decent face shots and a bunch of you doing something awesome, and you'll get hits. In my skydiving photos, you either can't see my face at all, or the shadows make my nose look enormous, but no one can complain because I'm doing something interesting.

Quote from: Maggie Fletcher" post="461223094
I had what seemed like a very deep, interesting conversation with him about how great our DZ is and the Israel/Palestine conflict and a bunch of other things.

 :jewrub2:
« Last Edit: September 01, 2017, 08:51:05 PM by anti-nigger machine »

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2017, 09:20:40 PM »
+7
Dropzone bicycle is a hell of a burn. Also Pick's whole Hugh saga would fit in this thread. A cripple crawled under a truck so he wouldn't have to deal with her.

usernames.txt

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2017, 10:10:48 PM »
+8
Drop Zone Bicycle lmao bitch got fuckin wrecked

Rocket

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2017, 10:13:14 PM »
+14
Can you imagine a conversation with her?

When I lived in Florida I knew a girl who knew one of the guys from Blue Man Group when she lived in Nevada. Holy shit, I'm not kidding that she brought up the fucking Blue Man Group in every conversation. I thought at first that I should ignore her. But then I realized what a challenge it must be for her to work in a fucking Blue Man group reference so often. Damn, was she ever talented. Talented in the arena of bringing up Blue Man group in every conversation. She was a fucking pro at that.

Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2017, 10:43:26 PM »
+8
I had a friend who "traveled" and would never fail to bring it up in conversations. Bitch no one cares that you waste your money going all over the world but you're 30 and still living with your parents.

Aran

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2017, 11:25:51 PM »
+17
Have I told you lately about my new laptop

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2017, 11:37:18 PM »
+7
Let me tell you about this thing my catte did a few years ago.

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2017, 06:03:25 AM »
+1
Are there any pics of this chick?

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2017, 10:41:55 AM »
0
Acting Assistant Director of The Department of Corrective Rape

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2017, 01:43:58 PM »
+3
Why do I have a feeling that it's a "chick" not chick?
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #16 on: September 03, 2017, 01:44:34 PM »
+11
Also, just don't pull the cord. The void is calling you.
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

Trigger Word: Everything

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #17 on: September 03, 2017, 01:51:35 PM »
+12
Drop Zone Bicycle lmao bitch got fuckin wrecked

Wonder how she would feel if a couple of attractive college girls started showing up?

Back at summer camp we had an early 30's mother of a kid show up and stay for the whole week.  Didn't think much of it then, but now I realize she enjoyed the attention of all the 16-20 year old male counselors, since she was the only woman in 20 miles.

No idea how her husband felt about it.
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2017, 04:20:24 AM »
+7
Back at summer camp we had an early 30's mother of a kid show up and stay for the whole week.  Didn't think much of it then, but now I realize she enjoyed the attention of all the 16-20 year old male counselors, since she was the only woman in 20 miles.

No idea how her husband felt about it.

I don't know but I have a very good idea how the 16-20 year old boys felt about the sexy milf staying with them in the summer camp.

 :reagan:
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #19 on: September 05, 2017, 07:47:06 PM »
+10
Can you imagine a conversation with her?

When I lived in Florida I knew a girl who knew one of the guys from Blue Man Group when she lived in Nevada. Holy shit, I'm not kidding that she brought up the fucking Blue Man Group in every conversation. I thought at first that I should ignore her. But then I realized what a challenge it must be for her to work in a fucking Blue Man group reference so often. Damn, was she ever talented. Talented in the arena of bringing up Blue Man group in every conversation. She was a fucking pro at that.


Ctrl-F "blue man group"

Ctrl-P "not a lawyer"


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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #20 on: September 09, 2017, 04:41:05 PM »
0
Drop Zone Bicycle lmao bitch got fuckin wrecked

Wonder how she would feel if a couple of attractive college girls started showing up?

Back at summer camp we had an early 30's mother of a kid show up and stay for the whole week.  Didn't think much of it then, but now I realize she enjoyed the attention of all the 16-20 year old male counselors, since she was the only woman in 20 miles.

No idea how her husband felt about it.

Isn't summer camp usually mixed gender? Has Wet Hot American Summer lied to me?

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2017, 04:32:10 PM »
+10
Next resident of Goon Heartbreak Hotel is Agoat. Rick, aka Agoat,  is a 25 yr old male who kissed a drunk married woman and he liked it.

Here is his Steam account- http://steamcommunity.com/id/Agoat

His Discord- https://discord.gg/gv7Nuva

He has 6 pages of posts in the breakup thread so I skimmed the pages/condensed posts and found the choice bits for us all to laugh at. His posting saga begins on March 23rd 2016. Goons will put up with all sorts of abuse/mind fuckery because they are so afraid of being alone  :parsons:


Married drunk chick gives him attention and falls for her after a drunken, sloppy, spit-swap:


Quote from: Agoat
I'm in a weird position, I figure this is the best thread to post about it.

So there's this girl I know from the local bar my roommate owns. She's married. I've always kinda liked her but it was never an issue. We get along really well but I've never made a move or anything. She never did either aside from wanting to hang out and chat (along with everyone else there.) The other night everyone got hammered. My room mate had asked her to take me home, which she did, but then kissed me when I went to get out of the car.

She's apologized since. We haven't had a big talk about it and I'm unsure if there will be one. She said she's embarrassed and that she's sorry and I told her not to stress it cause of alcohol etc.

Here's the problem, I caught feelings out of this whole thing. I'm stressed out about it and I don't know how to handle it. Anyone have any suggestions? I've never been in this situation before and I want to be over it.

She may have a something for me, in the past she's asked me almost every other night if I was gonna be at the bar and she'd make an effort to see me. Most likely a result of something else in her life but here we are all the same. When I think about it there might be another talk about it, I figure I'd just be honest and respectful. I've always considered her a close friend that's off limits.



Someone made a good point- She's drunk enough to kiss him and she was DRIVING? Sounds like a winner! Bonus foreshadowing in his response:


Quote from: Agoat
This is a good point... She probably shouldn't have been driving. I wasn't in any condition to argue, I could barely unlock my front door. If she wasn't that drunk then there's probably going to be more to this story in the coming weeks.



March 29, 2016: A New Hope That Agoat Learned Something  :lolno:

Quote from: Agoat

A follow up to my story a few days back about the married girl, I went with her and her husband for drinks last night with some others. She stood near me a lot like a conversation was supposed to happen. I didn't bite, truth be told I don't know what to say. She was especially clingy to her husband. I'm happy for and all but I got really annoyed. I think I'm over it. Funny, it only took a week!
 


August 2nd 2016: Dawn of the Dummy

Quote from: Agoat

E/N, I need your advice. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5-6 months and she's been the most wonderful girl I've ever been with. She's also going through a divorce. She's over it emotionally but she has a lot to do with paperwork and selling their property. This has led to a weird problem where she needs time to handle that stuff and she wants to spend time with family. This leaves me in a weird place where I don't always get to see her a lot. It's not the end of the world, but she makes plans often that she cancels or cuts short. It's happened before and things always got better, but it's wearing down on me.

I've decided at a minimum I'm going to pull away and let her come to me more. There's no sense in me reaching out only to upset myself. Should I reconsider my relationship otherwise or should I ride it out and hope for the best? I hate considering leaving but I'm at the point where when she calls to tell me she's coming over I'm expecting her to cancel. It hurts pretty bad.

A bit of an update. Girlfriend is making more plans though acting a bit strange. It's only been for a few days so there's not much to go off of there. I guess it's an improvement.

She's also at a party tonight that her soon to be ex husband will be at. He tried to make a small play to get her back last night. I'm really upset about it. And scared.



"Is she being good to you?" Never mind she's fucking around on her soon-to-be ex-husband and likely has mental issues!

Quote from: Agoat

Well, for a bit she was cancelling plans with me or cutting plans short or telling me "maybe" when I wanted to see her. And to an extent I understood but it got to be so often that I ended up bringing it to her attention and THAT ended up leading me to get very anxious. Recently she's been telling me "No more serious talks, I want to be goofy with you" so I'm trying to go with that the best I can but when I can tell she isn't completely relaxed so can't help but feel anxious still.




August 9th they went out on a date and it was great!! August 17th, however, is a surprise to no one:


Quote from: Agoat

The girlfriend and I split. She needs time to get her divorce sorted, unrelated to my prior freak outs. She kept things open but said just to let her know if I date someone else. Probably the best break up I've had, but we'll see what the coming days bring.

It's a lot of weight off my shoulders. If we can pick it up later, cool. It'd be awesome to have a simpler relationship with her. If not, I'll have a great friend down the road.

It was actually kinda cool. The night ended up with us naked on the couch drinking wine and having an awesome time. We know we'll see each other again in some capacity, and knowing that it wasn't necessarily and issue with me makes me feel good. She told me such wonderful things that I'll never forget. I'm sure in a few days I'll be miserable but for right now I'm just going to enjoy the good times we had.She asked me to tell her if I date someone else, but if she ends up ready at a time that I'm ready for her then I'd love to give it another go. I suppose in a way we are "separated", but I don't feel any pressure to wait. It felt like we're open to it if the opportunity presents itself.
 


August 18th & 19th: :parsons:

Quote from: Agoat

There's been word popping up of this girl hooking up with an old ex of hers recently. I don't think I could go back at this point. It's really been a lot.
Severed contact today. This hurts. Bad.



August 25th: Poor Choice 2:Dummy Boogaloo. Sept 3rd: "Just realized how manipulative the girl I was with really was. Oof." and "I'm in a weird place of missing my ex and wanting her to never speak to me again."

Quote from: Agoat

So... My sever didn't go as planned. But our relationship seems to be in line with what she wanted and I'm about to move out of state in a month (and she's going to be moving two hours away from there) so uh, I'm in a good place. I feel less attached, as we technically did break up. But there's much less pressure now. I'm back to my hobbies and it feels right.

It feels like she'll be around a while and we'll pick up where we left off if we get a chance to. What a weird place to be.

It wasn't even a long relationship but it still hurts. I thought she was going to be different and not just be another manipulative person out to take advantage but she ended up like the rest. I've never wanted a relationship to work out so badly before. I hate this.



Sept 8th: New State, New Beginings, New Marriages to Destroy!

Quote from: Agoat

I move to Marietta, GA on the 17th. She's technically moving a few hours away towards the end of October but honestly without big changes I couldn't go back. Apparently dating in the Atlanta area is easier for guys than it is in small town Winter Haven, FL so I'm kinda banking on the idea that I don't have to invest everything into every relationship I come across anymore. In a lot of ways, the more I see this girl the less I want to be with her. She doesn't hold herself accountable (even when she was presented with the idea that it looks like she cheated) and is hardly considerate of others. I'm sensitive and honestly don't have time for that. (Even if she wanted a low-key relationship, she should have been clear from the start).

I am actually leaving town and while I'm sure she'll call here or there I am absolutely not waiting on her for any reason whatsoever. I was worried that messing with my ex would make me miss her but honestly the heartbreaking part has been realizing truly how bad she treated me. And that fact makes remembering the good times even harder. She would take me on her parent's boat and we'd go on the chain of lakes. I miss it. I miss when she was good to me.

I miss what I thought she was. Honestly I want to shake this girl and yell at her for being dumb. She's about to be 30, post divorce and she's playing games like she's in high school. I miss her but only really when I'm bored at work. Tonight is my last night so I should feel better going forward. I hope you're doing okay as well.



Sept 11th: Agoat goes from wanting to shake a bitch to fucking a bitch. She also cheated on him, most likely with the man she was actually married to.


Quote from: Agoat

My sorta-ex was really kind to me yesterday. I'm game to have a glorified FWB situation since we're both moving to other states (but still 2 hours away) so long as there's no games. I feel really good today. She's been a rockstar helping me pack, at least.

I'll enjoy this week for what it is, then. Thank you. There's evidence she cheated on me during the relationship too and that's been on my mind. I've always hated the idea of things being final in any relationship but the reality here is I'm better off.

On the plus side, Atlanta owns. There's all sorts of stuff to do. I love it here. I'm going to work on myself before I try to work on a new relationship.
 


October 5th:

Quote from: Agoat

Spoke with the ex. The emotion is gone from her. Dunno why I wanna hold on so bad. This is why I need to cut it. Just the other day she called me in tears because she finalized her divorce, and I thought we had reached a point where we could be kind to each other. But now here we are. I feel used. I moved for a fresh start, not to wallow in self pity. The shitty part for me is that I don't mind being that support for her as long as she treats me right, but I guess that's not what she wants. I cared for her for so long, then got the "relationship" and now here we are. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but I at least wanted something to come out of all this.

Her loss, I guess. I'm not sure why you'd do this to someone who just wants you to be happy, but I'll just have to send her to voicemail when the regret hits her in a few months.




October 6th: I want his post to be printed on a billboard where he can see it every damn day. Tattoo it on the inside of his eyelids, on his forehead etc.


Quote from: Agoat

I looked at my post history. From the first post I knew she was bad news. That's amazing.
 


October 6th & 7th:Oof

Quote from: Agoat

*doesn't answer text* *every device on every service I have gets a message*

I was really hoping her talking to me was a matter of convenience and it'd be easy. This stuff really isn't a problem until bedtime tbh. Lols. I did leave her a message beforehand that I needed space and couldn't be the friend she needed. It seemed like the right thing to do?
No response, and she's already removed me from her Facebook literally a minute later.


This hurts really bad but I guess it's time to heal. Oof.
 


October 10th and 12th: He's totally blocked her and is over her


Quote from: Agoat

 I've felt so strange since I blocked my ex. It feels weird but at the same time I know this is what is best for me. I already don't feel the need to talk to her (now talking about her is a different story, I'm absolutely not over it yet). I've buried myself in my job and my hobbies, I've got a Counter-Strike local in two weeks I'm prepping for. She's gone for good. This server started off really well but I'm missing her now. But why now? She treated me so poorly, I hate that I'm feeling like this.

Not breaking the sever, though. Gonna keep on moving forward.
 


October 19th: Still holding the sever


Quote from: Agoat

I found myself thinking about when I knew my ex as just a friend. She was married at the time. We met at a local bar, there was a community there. It was really fun. Seeing her then felt nicer than most of the relationship did. I find myself longing for those nights again.

Maintaining sever. It's gotten easier. Lots of cool stuff in Atlanta. I'm not gonna act like I don't miss what I thought she was, but I wish I had listened to you guys sooner. As far as I know, she hasn't tried to contact me. I blocked her, sure, but there's always a way. It stings but at the same time I'm thankful I haven't had to deal with it yet.



October 29th: She didn't love me, I was used!!


Quote from: Agoat

I dunno. I didn't really have a real relationship. I was very much a scapegoat for her to get out of a marriage. (Funny, given my username.) In a normal breakup I hurt but at least I had nice memories to take away from it. All I have here are times where she'd make me feel awful as some weird manipulation thing. It isn't worth dwelling on but I keep going back to it. I'm far from perfect but I loved her, even if I was losing my mind towards the end.



December 30th: Rewrites his history :tuss: :tuss:

Quote from: Agoat

If it makes you feel any better, I went from going on full tilt to being pretty much over it pretty quickly after I severed. You owe it to yourself to be happy.

She will know that you've vanished, and in time she will understand why. It's time to take care of you instead of them.If it makes you feel any better I went through something similar. Got cheated on and she wanted to stick around. It's a weird place to be in, having to accept something that you may not have directly witnessed. Cut her loose and enjoy your new beginning. Don't sweat it otherwise, it's not easy but you will be just fine.





June 25th 2017: Agoat has a (new? or is it his ex?) girlfriend and it's not going well :facepalm:


Quote from: Agoat

Found myself in the premonition phase. Talked with the girlfriend and she says she feels "that we may have gotten together too soon". She says she's growing distant because I don't spend time with her, but when I do it feels like she doesn't want me there. Going to do my best to turn this around. This is a perfect description of my girlfriend. Everything here is crumbling apart and I'm figuring out what my next move is, but I've never felt anything worse than trying to be good to someone only to have them push you away.

I recognize I'm not perfect (especially lately where everything is taking it's toll on me), but I also recognize how I've grown and how much work I've put into trying to be a good boyfriend. I worry that I've also had unrealistic expectations, but I also have come to realize that desire for 100% happiness came from not being comfortable in my relationship. And that's largely because I'm being put on tilt because of the manipulative girlfriend in the first place. Funny thing is she was constantly criticizing me for being insecure and stressed, but that was largely her doing.



August 16th 2017: Agoat is dating a womanchild- she hides their relationship status on Facebook when she gets mad. :tom:


Quote from: Agoat

I go into a panic at the thought of leaving her. There's definitely some sort of underlying issue with me in regards to that. I feel like she's willing to work on it but is wanting to see me work on my problems as well.

My issue is she does petty things when she's upset. She hid our relationship status on FB during our last fight and hasn't put it back yet. I'm not trying to hold it against her, it was a bad fight and we both were very angry. We almost broke up then.I'm doing my best to let go of little things and work on improving myself. I just started my new job which I'm putting a lot of effort into. In regards to my relationship I'm just trying to be good to her instead of being self-centered about my issues. For the most part I was doing well, but being shut out so much put me back in that place of jealousy. It felt almost like when I'd grow comfortable there was a new curve ball to handle. She did support me for two months while I found work. She doesn't ask a lot of me financially, though she is asking me to pick up rent this month since she looked out for me for two months. Unless her goal is to get a month of rent paid then dump my ass I have to imagine she's just not good at this. Doesn't change how unhealthy it is for me but you know.

And yeah, I should get back to being me. I'm gonna focus on my stream more, I'm trying real hard to make that a real source of income.

As a side note, the last few days have been better. Even though there's not a lot of affection from her she's definitely putting in effort to be kind. I can't decide if it's progress or me settling.

I've told her stuff like that has meaning to me since, but hasn't put it back yet. I get she's evaluating the relationship but putting me down in the process isn't gonna help. She'll tell me to tell her what's wrong then she'll get mad when I do because it's not nice to hear.

I type all this realizing I should probably go but geez I don't want to. I just want her to relax and love on me a bit. That's it.
 


August 28th: He takes a love language quiz with his girlfriend. I don't know why I find it so damn funny they took a quiz together.


Quote from: Agoat

I recently did a love language quiz with my girlfriend and it shows outright how you feel and show love. It's worth trying out. As a clingy person, I find adding an "I love you" to that kind of rejection helps. But don't be afraid to look at yourself as well. If you don't go for physical affection often you should work towards offering more (within reason). Be understanding of feelings while presenting your own!


August 30th, Sept 8th & 10th:


Quote from: Agoat

I guess "let's work on things" actually means "Let's start a conversation on getting better then get upset and shut Agoat out".

I didn't even accuse her of anything. I literally said I need more physical affection.

My girlfriend finally came forward and said she doesn't know what she wants us to do. I appreciate her finally speaking up. She feels like she does relationship things because she has to, and that we moved in together too soon. I've tried to be easy going but I still feel like we fell into a cycle of needs not being met. She stops doing something, I say something about it, then it becomes a chore. I don't want to be without her again but that might be what happens. I'm sure everyone is going to say it's for the best, but I have this feeling in my gut there's a way for it to be good. Maybe I'm crazy.

I'm saving my money, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst. Nvm she's actually just starting shit now

I don't know what world someone can live in where they can be mad that someone didn't tell them they were having a panic attack that wasn't even disruptive.

 
 
Sept 10th 2017: Goons tell him to GTFO and to re-read his own posts to see the insanity.

Quote from: Agoat

I'm saving money and leaving. I'm done with it. I'd rather face my crazy brain break up insanity than be blasted for something I can't control.
 


 :allears: :allears: :allears: :allears:
   
 

Death Camp for Cutie

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2017, 03:41:07 PM »
0
I don't know how guys work but don't men just ask their friends for advice? It just seems so pathetic to demand detail advice from strangers who don't even know the parties involved

Whig Historian

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2017, 03:46:54 PM »
+10
I don't know how guys work but don't men just ask their friends for advice?
Goons.

blasting_asshole

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2017, 08:40:22 AM »
+8
I mean, real men just replace about 90% of all that shit with work, projects, entertainment, friends and liquor.

If all those lines of text had been narrowed down to about 2-3 lines he would have known well enough to just use her as a fuck buddy. It's all that free time and mental hula hoop sperging that's fucking him up.

E/N has made me really believe that women want dumb guys. Not stupid, just blissfully dumb. Guys who say yes, fuck off, fix it, come back and wanna shoot a load in the woman, at the end of the day. I've been acting a lot dumber with the pregnant wife, lately and it's been fucking great. She's due soon and the end of the pregnancy is a fucking nightmare. Instead of being a thinker and considering her tone of voice in the way she phrased whatever she said, I just go "Uh huh" "I unno" or "Ok" and it works like a charm. No more arguing or having any opinion/emotion on any stupid bullshit, ever. That's the woman's job. Just "Uh huh" "I unno" "ok" It'll be over in 5 minutes and I'll wind up with what I want, in the end.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 08:52:08 AM by blasting_asshole »