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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 67171 times)

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #50 on: October 09, 2012, 10:51:00 PM »
0
Well that's it for the American experiment. Let's roll up our sleeves and figure out what comes next.

The Holy Roman-American Orthadoxy

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Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #51 on: October 10, 2012, 12:13:55 AM »
0
I say it will be some form of a despotic anarcho-collectivist union.
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wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #52 on: October 10, 2012, 10:30:37 PM »
0
Quote
Reporter: I feel a little odd saying this, but I have two questions about Big Bird.  (Laughter.)  The first is that as you know, Sesame Street has asked for the ad to be pulled on the grounds that it‘s not a political organization and doesn’t want to be drawn into this kind of debate.  Will the campaign honor it and pull down that ad?

Ms. Psaki:  We have received that request. We’re reviewing it. I will say it doesn‘t change the fact that there’s only one candidate in this race who is going to continue to fight for Big Bird and Elmo, and he is riding on this plane.

Looks like the Obama campaign team is crossing over the event horizon of retardedness.

Quote
Ms. Psaki: We understand when your policy plan is a vapid collection of dusting off the Bush playbook…and embracing extreme foreign policy positions, you don’t have a lot to talk about and gonna attack us on Big Bird… But president will talk about important policy issues.

 :facepalm:
« Last Edit: October 10, 2012, 10:32:56 PM by wimpb »

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #53 on: October 10, 2012, 11:33:34 PM »
0
Well that's it for the American experiment. Let's roll up our sleeves and figure out what comes next.

The Holy Roman-American Orthadoxy

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wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #54 on: October 11, 2012, 12:42:29 AM »
0
http://www.thelocal.se/43656/20121006/

Quote
Lunch lady slammed for food that is 'too good'
Annika Eriksson, a lunch lady at a school in Falun, was told that her cooking is just too good.

Pupils at the school have become accustomed to feasting on newly baked bread and an assortment of 15 vegetables at lunchtime, but now the good times are over.

The municipality has ordered Eriksson to bring it down a notch since other schools do not receive the same calibre of food - and that is "unfair".

Moreover, the food on offer at the school doesn't comply with the directives of a local healthy diet scheme which was initiated in 2011, according to the municipality.

"A menu has been developed... It is about making a collective effort on quality, to improve school meals overall and to try and ensure everyone does the same," Katarina Lindberg, head of the unit responsible for the school diet scheme, told the local Falukuriren newspaper.

However, Lindberg was not aware of Eriksson's extraordinary culinary efforts and how the decision to force her to cut back had prompted outrage among students and parents.

"It has been claimed that we have been spoiled and that it's about time we do as everyone else," Eriksson said.

She insisted, however, that her creative cooking has not added to the municipality's expenses.

"I have not had any complaints," she told the paper.

Eriksson added that she sees it as her job to ensure that the pupils are offered several alternatives at meal times.

The food on offer does not always suit all pupils, she explained, and therefore she makes sure there are plenty of vegetables to choose from as well as proteins in the form of chicken, shrimp, or beef patties.

From now on, the school's vegetable buffet will be halved in size and Eriksson's handmade loafs will be replaced with store-bought bread.

Her traditional Easter and Christmas smörgåsbords may also be under threat.

Parents and pupils alike find the municipality's orders distasteful.

Fourth-graders at the school have even launched a petition in protest against the decision to put a lid on Eriksson's passion for cooking.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #55 on: October 11, 2012, 04:50:52 AM »
0
Well that's it for the American experiment. Let's roll up our sleeves and figure out what comes next.

The Holy Roman-American Orthadoxy

:hangly:



I love how intense that Orthodox Secret Service Agent is.

Popin: Serious Business
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #56 on: October 11, 2012, 09:18:16 AM »
0
Why does he fold the little cross down

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #57 on: October 11, 2012, 09:33:51 AM »
0
Well that's it for the American experiment. Let's roll up our sleeves and figure out what comes next.

The Holy Roman-American Orthadoxy

:hangly:



I love how intense that Orthodox Secret Service Agent is.

Popin: Serious Business

To be fair he is in the line of fire for every psycho and terrorist who can duct-tape together a nail bomb. Can you imagine how many virgins a towel head would get for that score? Also, the Catholic Church is the wealthiest entity on earf. Lots of people would love to poke him just for that.

But I've always thought that the Pope must do alright with the ladies. Out of all those Italian nuns there have to be some hotties. Dude must be plowin' 24/7. Power is the greatest aphrodisiac. Tell me you wouldn't bone Madeline Albright for the story.
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Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #58 on: October 11, 2012, 09:35:10 AM »
+1
Why does he fold the little cross down
Because God ended transmission.

Do you know what the headliner in a Popemobile costs?
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Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #59 on: October 11, 2012, 09:46:50 AM »
0
Well that's it for the American experiment. Let's roll up our sleeves and figure out what comes next.

The Holy Roman-American Orthadoxy

:hangly:



I love how intense that Orthodox Secret Service Agent is.

Popin: Serious Business

To be fair he is in the line of fire for every psycho and terrorist who can duct-tape together a nail bomb. Can you imagine how many virgins a towel head would get for that score? Also, the Catholic Church is the wealthiest entity on earf. Lots of people would love to poke him just for that.

But I've always thought that the Pope must do alright with the ladies. Out of all those Italian nuns there have to be some hotties. Dude must be plowin' 24/7. Power is the greatest aphrodisiac. Tell me you wouldn't bone Madeline Albright for the story.

That's the Russian Orthodorx Patriarch or whatever, not the Catholic Pope.

Gotta fold down the cross on the hat so it doesn't get knocked off and reveal the fake hair/beard attached to it like one of those Jamaican Rasta hats  :stewart:

wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #60 on: October 16, 2012, 12:49:38 AM »
0
http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2012/10/12/florida-passes-plan-for-racially-based-academic-goals/

Quote
Florida Passes Plan For Racially-Based Academic Goals

Palm Beach, Fla. (CBS TAMPA) – The Florida State Board of Education passed a plan that sets goals for students in math and reading based upon their race.

On Tuesday, the board passed a revised strategic plan that says that by 2018, it wants 90 percent of Asian students, 88 percent of white students, 81 percent of Hispanics and 74 percent of black students to be reading at or above grade level. For math, the goals are 92 percent of Asian kids to be proficient, whites at 86 percent, Hispanics at 80 percent and blacks at 74 percent. It also measures by other groupings, such as poverty and disabilities, reported the Palm Beach Post.

The plan has infuriated many community activists in Palm Beach County and across the state.

“To expect less from one demographic and more from another is just a little off-base,” Juan Lopez, magnet coordinator at John F. Kennedy Middle School in Riviera Beach, told the Palm Beach Post.

JFK Middle has a black student population of about 88 percent.

“Our kids, although they come from different socioeconomic backgrounds, they still have the ability to learn,” Lopez said. “To dumb down the expectations for one group, that seems a little unfair.”

Others in the community agreed with Lopez’s assessment. But the Florida Department of Education said the goals recognize that not every group is starting from the same point and are meant to be ambitious but realistic.

As an example, the percentage of white students scoring at or above grade level (as measured by whether they scored a 3 or higher on the reading FCAT) was 69 percent in 2011-2012, according to the state. For black students, it was 38 percent, and for Hispanics, it was 53 percent.

In addition, State Board of Education Chairwoman Kathleen Shanahan said that setting goals for different subgroups was needed to comply with terms of a waiver that Florida and 32 other states have from some provisions of the federal No Child Left Behind Act. These waivers were used to make the states independent from some federal regulations.

“We have set a very high goal for all students to reach in Florida,” Shanahan said.

But Palm Beach County School Board vice-chairwoman Debra Robinson isn’t buying the rationale.

“I’m somewhere between complete and utter disgust and anger and disappointment with humanity,” Robinson told the Post. She said she has been receiving complaints from upset black and Hispanic parents since the state board took its action this week.

Robinson called the state board’s actions essentially “proclaiming racism” and said she wants Palm Beach County to continue to educate every child with the same expectations, regardless of race.

In summary:

For reading at or above the grade level, the goals are as follows:
- 90 percent of Asian students
- 88 percent of White students
- 81 percent of Hispanic students
- 74 percent of Black students

For math at or above the grade level, the goals are as follows:
- 92 percent of Asian students
- 86 percent of White students
- 80 percent of Hispanic students
- 74 percent of Black students

Basically the same as affirmative action I guess, but more visible. I actually wouldn't be surprised if the person who proposed this was actually against it - it would highlight how retarded affirmative action is.

But then, that seems unlikely.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2012, 12:51:23 AM by wimpb »

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #61 on: October 16, 2012, 10:20:45 AM »
0
Speechless.   :swanson:

wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #62 on: October 16, 2012, 11:47:10 PM »
0
http://dailycaller.com/2012/10/16/obama-advocates-reintroducing-assault-weapons-ban/#ixzz29WaFsb8d

Quote
President Barack Obama declared during Tuesday’s presidential debate that his goals as president include the reinstatement of a so-called “assault weapons ban” in the United States.

As part of a plan to reduce street violence in cities — including in his own hometown of Chicago — Obama proposed “seeing if we can get an assault weapons ban reintroduced.”

This appears to be among the boldest pro-gun-control comments Obama has made as president, and the first time has has openly called for the reinstatement of the assault weapons ban.

“So my belief is that, A, we have to enforce the laws we’ve already got, make sure that we’re keeping guns out of the hands of criminals, those who are mentally ill,” Obama said when asked about gun control. “We’ve done a much better job in terms of background checks, but we’ve got more to do when it comes to enforcement.”

“But I also share your belief that weapons that were designed for soldiers in war theaters don’t belong on our streets,” he added. “And so what I’m trying to do is to get a broader conversation about how do we reduce the violence generally.”

“Part of it is seeing if we can get an assault weapons ban reintroduced. But part of it is also looking at other sources of the violence. Because frankly, in my home town of Chicago, there’s an awful lot of violence and they’re not using AK-47s. They’re using cheap hand guns.”

World's greatest gun salesman makes his pitch.

Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #63 on: October 17, 2012, 09:10:23 AM »
0
And just like that, my stripped AR lowers triple in value.

Thanks P Drank!!!!!  :reagan:


E: It'll never pass
« Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 09:12:55 AM by Procrustes »

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #64 on: October 17, 2012, 09:37:12 AM »
0
So, his proposal is to ban assault weapons in order to reduce crime, his justification being that assault weapons aren't used in crimes... :jesse:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #65 on: October 17, 2012, 06:20:03 PM »
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French president pushing homework ban as part of ed reforms

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2012/10/15/french-president-pushing-homework-ban-as-part-of-ed-reforms

Quote
How do you think this would go over in the United States? French President François Hollande has said he will end homework as part of a series of reforms to overhaul the country’s education system.

And the reason he wants to ban homework?

He doesn’t think it is fair that some kids get help from their parents at home while children who come from disadvantaged families don’t. It’s an issue that goes well beyond France, and has been part of the reason that some Americans oppose homework too.


Hollande’s reform plans include increasing the number of teachers, moving the school week from four days to 4 1/2 days, overhauling the curriculum and taking steps to cut down on absenteeism.

“Education is priority,” Hollande was quoted as saying by France24.com at Paris’s Sorbonne University last week. “An education program is, by definition, a societal program. Work should be done at school, rather than at home,” as a way to ensure that students who have no help at home are not disadvantaged.

Despite the four-day school week, elementary school children in France spend more hours a year in school than many other developed countries because students are there all day, starting at 8:30 a.m. and ending at 4:30 p.m., with some kids staying even later.

It’s not clear where the money to hire thousands more teachers will come from, but, the Associated Press reported, Education Minister Vincent Peillon will have to figure out how to implement the reforms. One option is to shorten summer vacation, though, such a move isn’t likely to be popular because it is practically sacrosanct in France.

Whether Hollande really gets all of this done is open to question. But his homework position is not original; some school districts in the United States did the same thing going back more than a century. Early in the 1900s, the influential Ladies’ Home Journal magazine called homework “barbarous,” and school districts such as Los Angeles abolished it in kindergarten through eighth grade.  In fact, some educators said it caused tuberculosis, nervous conditions and heart disease in the young and that children were better off playing outside. The American Child Health Association in the 1930s labeled homework and child labor as leading killers of children who contracted tuberculosis and heart disease.

Today people who oppose homework have different objections, among them, the research  that suggests it doesn’t really help young children learn.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #66 on: October 18, 2012, 06:37:17 AM »
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I aint read no bo-ooook  :obama:

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #67 on: October 19, 2012, 05:37:18 AM »
0
http://m.espn.go.com/ncf/story?storyId=8521309


Jerry Sandusky wants new trial

Associated Press | October 18, 2012
 
BELLEFONTE, Pa. -- Former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky asked a judge Thursday to overturn his child sexual abuse convictions and grant him a new trial, claiming his lawyers lacked sufficient time to prepare and the statute of limitations for some charges had expired.

Sandusky's lawyers made the filing at the courthouse in Bellefonte where he was sentenced two weeks ago to 30 to 60 years in prison after being convictedof abusing 10 boys, some on Penn State's campus in State College.

"The defendant submits the court's sentence was excessive and tantamount ... to a life sentence, which the defendant submits is in violation of his rights," they wrote.

The 31-page set of motions, technically not appeals because they were filed with the trial judge, cover a wide range of assertions, including insufficient evidence, improper use of hearsay testimony and erroneous rulings from the bench.

More than a third of the document explores ways Sandusky believes the rapid pace of the case violated his right to due process of law, as he went from arrest to trial in just more than seven months. His lawyers said they were swamped by documentsfrom prosecutors, they lacked time to interview possible witnesses and an expert and two assistants were not available at trial.

The document said Judge John Cleland ruled improperly concerning the use of a computer-generated drawing of an accuser and issued incorrect jury instructions. It also raised issues about prosecutors' closing argument, the vagueness of the charges, the sequestration of jurors and the amount of restitution ordered.

A spokesman for the attorney general's office said the Sandusky filing was under review.

Sandusky remains in the county jail, awaiting a transfer to a state prison. Eight young men testified against him in June, describing a range of abuse they said included fondling and oral and anal sex when they were boys.

Sandusky didn't testify at his trial but has consistently maintained his innocence in interviews and at sentencing.

Also Thursday, People magazine said an accuser identified in court papers as Victim 1, whose claims of being abused by Sandusky began the investigation in late 2008 and who testified against him at trial, gave an interview in which he spoke out publicly by name for the first time.

Aaron Fisher, 18, told the magazine he decided to come forward with a book to tell other victims it is better to tell people about abuse than remain silent. Fisher, who's expected to appear on ABC on Friday, said he and Sandusky's other victims "had a very long battle to see justice done."

Sandusky, 68, built a reputation as one of the country's premier defensive coaches while serving under head coach Joe Paterno, including two national championships. That image was shattered last year by his arrest.

The abuse scandal rocked Penn State, bringing down Paterno and the university's president and leading the NCAA, college sports' governing body, to levy unprecedented sanctions against the university's football program.

Two Penn State administrators were charged as a result of the investigation into the Sandusky allegations, accused of lying to the grand jury that investigated Sandusky and not reporting suspected child abuse to the proper authorities. Those two officials, athletic director Tim Curley, who is on administrative leave and will not have his contract renewed, and retired vice president Gary Schultz, await trial in January and maintain their innocence.

Former FBI director Louis Freeh, hired by university trustees to conduct an investigation into the university's handling of abuse complaints against Sandusky, concluded that Paterno, who died in January, ousted president Graham Spanier, Curley and Schultz concealed a 2001 allegation against Sandusky to protect Penn State from bad publicity.

The late coach's family, as well as Spanier, Curley and Schultz, dispute Freeh's assertions.
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Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #68 on: October 19, 2012, 09:19:23 AM »
0
This really isn't out of the ordinary for a high-profile case where the guilty party has millions of dollars to spend on legal fees/strategies.

I'd be perfectly fine giving the piece of shit a new trial, but only if the death penalty was put on the table.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #69 on: October 22, 2012, 09:25:20 PM »
0
http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2012/10/man_believed_to_be_on_pcp_bite.html

Man believed to be on PCP bites off own finger and swallows it after naked carjack try, authorities say

Quote
A Jersey City man believed to be high on PCP tried to gnaw off his own wrist in a holding cell, defecated in the back of a Jersey City police cruiser and then bit off his own finger and swallowed it at Hudson County jail Sunday night, authorities said.



 :reagan:

wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #70 on: October 24, 2012, 07:23:11 PM »
0
lol
http://www.sj-r.com/top-stories/x2053812816/City-gives-up-on-Obama-Biden-bill
Quote
City of Springfield out of options on Obama/Biden bill
Springfield’s budget director says the city is out of options to be reimbursed for expenses associated with hosting then-Sen. Barack Obama’s presidential campaign stop in the fall of 2008.

“Short of suing the campaign, which isn’t really going to do anything — it would drag on forever — there’s really nothing we can do,” said Bill McCarty. “We’ve tried.”

Obama introduced his running mate, Joe Biden, at the Old State Capitol in August 2008. About 160 police officers and nine civilians helped provide protection for Obama’s visit, according to an invoice from the city.

Obama’s presidential campaign was sent a bill for $68,139, but still owes $55,457.

The city has tried for years to collect.


There’s been debate over who is responsible for the bill — the White House, the Secret Service or the campaign.

When Ward 1 Ald. Frank Edwards was mayor, he wrote the president asking for his help.

“As you know, sometimes only the executive himself can cut through such inter-departmental differences of opinion,” Edwards wrote in March 2011.

The letter didn’t help, either.

“At some point, you have to dedicate your time and resources to something that’s going to get you somewhere,” McCarty said. “Spending our time and resources on the campaign have gotten us nowhere.”

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #71 on: October 24, 2012, 09:37:20 PM »
0
Meanwhile try not paying your traffic tickets  :allears:

wimpb

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #72 on: October 29, 2012, 08:45:04 PM »
0
Quote
On October 29, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) recommended people caught in Hurricane Sandy use social media like Twitter and Facebook to communicate if they have no other means of communication.

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #73 on: October 30, 2012, 12:28:05 PM »
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Quote
On October 29, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) recommended people caught in Hurricane Sandy use social media like Twitter and Facebook to communicate if they have no other means of communication.

 :swanson:
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #74 on: October 30, 2012, 01:38:12 PM »
0
Hey its like the Plastic and Duct Tape thing again.

 :geithner: