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Author Topic: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT  (Read 6190 times)

Ass Diamond

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2017, 12:21:25 PM »
+5
A lot of people would do right by themselves to not be so eager to do tha sex and map the other person out. Put that psych education to use for those that went to college. I never trusted women that have a reckless causality about sex. They're usually about the gold digging or will be a wanderlust under your nose.

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2017, 03:16:27 PM »
+9
I wish editing wasn't allowed in E/N so bless the posters who quote the posts before they got removed  :reagan:

ChickenOfTomorrow is one example of post deleting after it was quoted. Own your fucking post! She asked if it was ok to post about breaking up with a friend.

Quote from: ChickenOfTomorrow
eh actually its not that much of a story.

we were friends and got too close. he did a sexual thing to me without my consent (due to thoughtlessness, not malice). he confessed to his gf, pledged to work on his relationship with her, work towards rebuilding trust, etc.

we went "no contact" for 2 months (not a proper sever - I regret that). during that time i was trying to process what happened, but i did a lot of it by talking to mutual friends and that obviously affected their perceptions of him.

we met for a mediation earlier this week (we are part of a small activist group so being able to work together in the future is important), and are due to meet back up again in a month or two.

tonight i finally blocked him and his gf on everything I could think of. I know i have gone about things the wrong way by not severing earlier. i'd like to one day be able to be acquaintances, maybe even friends.

i feel guilty and ashamed and rejected and deeply, intensely sad.


Small activist group, sexual touching w/o consent, not maleficent. Sounds like a fun group of people. The women have more body hair than the "men" I'ma bettin'


Another post got edited so thanks goon for quoting them! Apologies for the chopped up post-

Quote from: ChickenOfTomorrow
I'm not forbidden from talking about it, I just have to be mindful of the effect it would have on others - specifically his gf - if I talk about it in public.

I know he would never have done this on purpose. He's a big impulsive idiot, not a predator.

How will I know when I'm ready to see him face to face again? I can probably push the second mediation back as long as I need to, but i am exceedingly obtuse about how my feelings relate to my thoughts.

I have no desire for a romantic relationship with him, but I still feel like I want to continue to have him in my life. I know the sever will help with that feeling but I don't know how long it will take to go away?

Mediation this week was the first time I saw him in person since the day it happened, and the first time I was able to tell him that what he did to me, he did without my consent.

You know that Simpsons clip where you can actually see the point Ralph Wiggum's heart breaks? I saw him realize what he'd done and his entire... his entire self just collapsed.

Part of the mediation agreement was that I wouldn't talk publicly about the situation without being mindful of the impact it has on other people. I'm thinking it's ok to talk here because no-one here knows him or his gf and they're not members.


Anne Weightly weighs in "they aren't good leftists" LMAO


Quote from: Anne Whateley
Yes, it might hurt his girlfriend if people know he broke his promises to her and he assaulted you and she's standing by him. That isn't your fault or your problem. It's a result of his actions, not yours. Everything I said still stands. The people telling you to think of her at your expense are not your friends, they aren't good leftists, they aren't trustworthy. Btw, the guy who assaulted me had a girlfriend too. I really do get this situation. Your comrades are not supporting you. This isn't what support looks like. If you think it is, that's concerning.

This isn't actual transformative justice, either. This is the reason bad actors love "transformative justice."

I'll drop it now, but please feel free to email me at annewhateley, gmail, anytime.



You can stop being a coy cunt and just tell the story instead of fishing for asspats and sympathy. Fuck you.

Quote from: ChickenOfTomorrow
jesus christ I literally only admitted to myself that this was non-consensual FOUR DAYS AGO

before I posted ITT I had only told three people

all of them have said they will support me in whatever I choose, no-one but him has asked me to moderate or limit what I say about this, the agreement from the mediation is non-binding

I think you're jumping to conclusions with limited information and trying to fit me into a narrative that doesn't match what is going on.

Please drop it



How is deadly_pudding doing? You remember, the cuck who wouldn't kick out his GF so he signed a year lease with her and slept on an air mattress.

Quote from: deadly_pudding
I'm pretty sure I have a girlfriend now, but it all feels very high school because we're dancing around our dumb living situations
I'm stuck living with my ex, of course, because you all know I'm a catastrophe of a human. She's like bouncing between her two sisters' houses because the apartment she wants won't be ready until November or something.

I think she's soldiering through it because she wants in on the delicious home-cooked meals that I keep photographing for her lol. We're planning to do a bunch of Halloween-adjacent activities in the next month or so, she's all about haunted houses and corn mazes and stuff. My ex thought holidays were stupid, so it's been a few years since I did anything fun around Halloween.


 :facepalm: :facepalm:



Obese and Triggered

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2017, 04:46:24 PM »
+3
ChickenOfTomorrow is one example of post deleting after it was quoted. Own your fucking post! She asked if it was ok to post about breaking up with a friend.

Quote from: ChickenOfTomorrow
eh actually its not that much of a story.

we were friends and got too close. he did a sexual thing to me without my consent (due to thoughtlessness, not malice). he confessed to his gf, pledged to work on his relationship with her, work towards rebuilding trust, etc.

we went "no contact" for 2 months (not a proper sever - I regret that). during that time i was trying to process what happened, but i did a lot of it by talking to mutual friends and that obviously affected their perceptions of him.

we met for a mediation earlier this week (we are part of a small activist group so being able to work together in the future is important), and are due to meet back up again in a month or two.

Oh come on, what's a little light groping among comrades?


Besides, why is this such a big deal? They went to mediation and..

Mediation?  AHAHAHAH

Procrustes

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2017, 05:07:52 PM »
+8
Quote
during that time i was trying to process what happened, but i did a lot of it by talking to mutual friends and that obviously affected their perceptions of him.

Faggot to English translation: I told everyone I could about it and no one cared (they all know I'm a cunt)

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #29 on: September 14, 2017, 06:03:50 PM »
+7
Since I can't come up with anything witty or insightful about these sad sad people, I just want to say

Thank you for this thread. I had pretty much given up on SS but seems like there's good stuff here and in D&D quotes again.
god > man > horse > woman > dog

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #30 on: September 15, 2017, 08:27:16 AM »
0
Haha. She talked about it to mutual friends, told her side of the story, and now, when she wants him back in her life, her friends are all "No" and she can't figure out why?

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #31 on: September 15, 2017, 04:36:04 PM »
+4
Since I can't come up with anything witty or insightful about these sad sad people, I just want to say

Thank you for this thread. I had pretty much given up on SS but seems like there's good stuff here and in D&D quotes again.

Thanks fam  :nixon: :reagan:

Have a couple of Goon Snippets

Quote from: Jabarto
I just got dumped on Thursday. It was only a 6-month thing, but it still hurts like a bitch. What gets me the most is the timing; I just got fired on Sunday (wasn't even there two weeks, I was never told why exactly, and it's the second time in a month that I lost a job), and the week before that things were better than ever. She says that she's worried about the patterns we've been falling into and that what we had was unhealthy (I have crippling depression and she's schizotypal, plus neither of us have much of a social support network), but she always told me that she liked who she was around me, and that she wouldn't just up and leave me as soon as a problem came up. It all changed so suddenly that I almost can't believe it. Like, it was so fast and so out of character for her that there's still a part of me that wonders if her Celiac disease flaring up early in the week wrecked her mood (she once told me that when she stopped eating gluten she stopped wanting to hang herself from a tree), and she might still "come around" after a while, but I know it's probably just wishful thinking on my part.

I think I'm doing okay on the severing thing, at least; I had to text her once or twice to arrange a time for me to pick up some of my things, but now I don't think I'll have a problem waiting a month or two before seeing if we can try to be friends again. Plus I'm finally in therapy again and looking into doing more volunteer work so that's good, I guess.

 :tuss: :tuss:
Quote from: Jabarto
Well, it's been about 3 weeks since I was dumped. She was my first real relationship and we lasted about a year and a half. The breakup itself was amicable enough, but a few days after she broke it off it turns out my vasectomy last year didn't pan out correctly and she had to have an abortion. She was furious and blamed me for it, since I didn't get the followup done (I know, stupid of me). I told her I thought she was being unreasonable, as I had asked her to help me get to the clinic to get tested many times, and she didn't let it stop her from having sex with me, either. That made things even worse and on Monday she said she never wants to be friends, that she doesn't remember any good times between us, and that she regrets ever trusting me.

So yeah, I've been a wreck for the whole time. And now I can't tell if I was really the asshole here or not. But at least the worst is over and now that we've severed for good I can start to move on, I guess.  I guess it's just a shock that she was the most important person in my life a month ago and now she never wants to see me again, I almost can't believe she's in her right mind here. Not that it matters, it's not my decision to make.



:tom:  :iceburn:
Quote from: Corridor
Well, my boyfriend just called me, to tell me he wasn't on holiday like he'd been saying, he's actually moved to Tasmania and lives there now. He was too spineless to tell me in person, because he didn't want to put with my crying or whatever. Zero indication before this that anything was wrong. Just a casual mention of, "Ugh I hate living at this place I wanna move to Tasmania, but people like you and my other friends are keeping me here."

"I'm almost regretting it because I actually miss you."

I basically want to die. He knew I have abandonment issues too, along with an anxiety disorder. I dont really have any friends in this town I can be with, everyone I know here is just like, friendly acquaintance level of closeness.

Up until this out of literally nowhere, this was the best relationship I'd ever been in. I shared more of myself and trusted him more than anyone else, overcame major psychological issues with him and everything. I mailed him while he was 'on holiday', he said he missed me and everything was fine between us.

Fuuuck and NYE is the anniversary of our getting together. We hooked up at a party and had a fantastic time. We were gonna go to the same party again this year, I've been preparing and looking forward to it for weeks.

e. it sounds like something out of a dark comedy... like you wake up one day and your boyfriend calls and has moved to Tasmania but wishes you "all the best". It's like... not something a real person would do.


 

Procrustes

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #32 on: September 15, 2017, 04:48:56 PM »
+15
One scale from 1-10 how crazy do you have to be to make your whatever boy/girlfriend move to another country best known for its cartoon animal that chases bugs bunny.

id say about a 926.8

Slacktivist

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #33 on: September 15, 2017, 05:07:28 PM »
+8
So crazy you move to another country and you make sure to not confront her face to face about it at any point during 1 month+ of meticulous planning and packing. I'm imagining Mandy in an open carry state.

Aran

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #34 on: September 15, 2017, 06:38:39 PM »
+3
One scale from 1-10 how crazy do you have to be to make your whatever boy/girlfriend move to another country best known for its cartoon animal that chases bugs bunny.

id say about a 926.8

I considered Canada to get away from a nutty ex. Ended up with Pennsylvania instead. Same distance, different direction

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #35 on: September 16, 2017, 12:11:04 AM »
+12
My ex moved to Portland.

It was nice of her to choose the state with the largest concentration of mental illness. Answered a lot of questions for me.

Ass Diamond

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #36 on: September 16, 2017, 03:00:16 AM »
+5
It's also the most liberal, so, natch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #37 on: September 16, 2017, 02:29:41 PM »
+3
Quote from: Jabarto
her Celiac disease flaring up early in the week wrecked her mood (she once told me that when she stopped eating gluten she stopped wanting to hang herself from a tree), and she might still "come around" after a while, but I know it's probably just wishful thinking on my part.

hmm, yes.  it's the gluten she eats...

blasting_asshole

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #38 on: September 18, 2017, 08:45:59 AM »
+7
Quote from: Jabarto
I just got dumped on Thursday. It was only a 6-month thing, but it still hurts like a bitch. What gets me the most is the timing; I just got fired on Sunday.

I'm finally in therapy again and looking into doing more volunteer work so that's good, I guess.

 :rolleyes: E/N Sadsacks and volunteer work.

Not one has ever posted "I'm just gonna apply for unemployment, drink myself retarded for 2 days straight, spend the 3rd day recovering and really pound the pavement from day 4 on."

None of them can ever enjoy their unemployment phase, in life. It's a constant, re-occurring plague, to them. Either they aren't eligible for benefits, they have nothing saved up, they're living off their parents or a whole combination of the above.

They're all single and childless, yet none of them seem to ever have the option of squandering a whole summer on unemployment. It's sad, really. They have no friends and free time is toxic.

My summer of unemployment was one of the greatest times in my life and I know I'll never be able to do it again.

I get it, volunteer work is great and all but Vegas odds are in favor of virtue signaling, in most of these "muh volunteer work" forum posts. That or you won't actually get around to doing it and even if you do, you should probably be looking for a job/internship instead.


 :unparsons: : "Try volunteer work!"

NO NIGGER TRY LIFTING A HEAVY THING! Landscaping/construction/contract crews hire on the spot and will often pay cash. Maybe if you haul some rocks around for a day, you'll grow some stones.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2017, 08:49:22 AM by blasting_asshole »

Tariq Aziz

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #39 on: September 18, 2017, 10:25:53 AM »
+2
My ex moved to Portland.

It was nice of her to choose the state with the largest concentration of mental illness. Answered a lot of questions for me.

like attracts like  :joe:

Pleasant Rectal Itch

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #40 on: September 18, 2017, 05:21:33 PM »
+13
Greetings fellow shitlordians! I hope everyone is having a lovely day.

Up next on the heartbreak and bad choices list is a lovelorn goon named leftpas. He posts YUGE paragraphs detailing his trouble with his on and off girlfriend so I will cut them down to the relevant points.

leftpas story begins in March of 2013 Girlfriend of 5 months gives him mixed messages so instead of telling her to fuck off with her minds games, he doubles down and keeps after her.

Quote from: leftpas
I'm 29 and feeling quite devastated over a relationship that ended two weeks ago. A 5 months relationship, mind you. I know this might sound ridiculous, and it probably is with some perspective, but I'm feeling like shit. Fucking wall of text, but you know how these things are: you feel like every detail can make some total stranger understand what's happening. TL/DR at bottom.

She's an American girl working and living here in Europe. I'm a native from this European country. From the start of the relationship she had always been the one trying to pull towards a more "serious" relationship. At first I wasn't into it, but I started being voluntarily pulled into it and started feeling that way too. I guess I fell in love and didn't want to recognize it. We spent every weekend together and many weekdays too, with me sleeping at her place... it was basically couple life.
.....
Then on thursday I had to hand out the report and we didn't talk. On friday, I messaged her and she told me that she was going to another city (actually, my home town), for a festival, because some friends had told her there was a space in their car. I was quite upset, because I had wanted to show her my home town, and I couldn't find tickets, as it was so sudden. She then started throwing some break up hints: "Don't know if we're in the same page". "I don't want you to get mad that I'm going to your town but I don't want to stop doing things because of you". "I don't want to have this job forever".

Then I finally got a ticket and told her I was coming. She said cool but that I had to look for a place to stay because she hadn't talked to her friend about me. This whole thing gave me very bad vibes, of course I had a place to stay, but fuck, it sounded like she was trying to actively make me not go with her and her friends. Not just "Hey I have this chance to go, sorry if you can't make it, we'll see each other when I come back don't worry", but more like "Oh, you're going, alright, I'll be with my friends".
.....
TL/DR:

Girlfriend of five months changes almost overnight from feeling like a serious couple to initiating a break up, trying to lay the blame of it on me. Also she travelled to my home town with her friends looking like she actively didn't want me to come. Then telling me that she did that because they were going to do drugs and I don't use them. After breaking up she starts sending messages and wants to meet, but either doesn't feel too interested or is palying mind games.


A goon told him she's playing mind games and his response-

Quote from: leftpas
So, you think it's a mind game? I know I sound stupid and I'll probably look back at all of this in some time and cringe. But now I'm feeling quite fucking depressed. We shared a sense of humor, she was sweet, we had interesting conversations, she loved to cuddle, great sex etc etc... And to be deprived from all of that in just a finger snap, feels like hell, even when I know you'll probably think "hey it's just been 5 months man, harden the fuck up".
.....
When we had been dating for two months or so, there was this time when she had this weird jealous episode[...] Anyway, later that night, she told me if she could talk to me for a bit. I said yeah. She dragged me apart and started saying how much of an asshole I was because I wasn't paying attention to her, and that I was talking to those girls etc etc. I told her to chill and not make up weird stuff, I wanted to be with her and I wasn't doing anything wrong. She admitted being jealous. She then said:

- I regret having told you I was jealous... now you got the upper hand in the relationship.
- What? There's no upper hand, come on. This is not a power game! Let's just be honest and not fight over stupid stuff.
- Yeah, it IS a power game...

She's 27.



27 years old and playing high school drama games. She's a keeper!

Quote from: leftpas
I might be feeling shitty, but I'm not sitting around. I'm going out as much as possible (well, another thing that annoys me is that I was almost new to this city when I met her, so I only have a handful of friends here because I dedicated all the free time I had in these last three months, the busiest of this year at my job, to her). I'm going to a club event tomorrow, and to a birthday party on saturday where my friend's girlfriend is going to bring a couple of her female friends. I re-joined the gym today. I went out last sunday to a club and came back home with a girl. Still, I can't take her out of my head, maybe because I feel like I should have told her how I felt about her.
....
Still, I could understand the whole "we're not in the same page" thing, I'm not some psycho ex-boyriend not accepting a break up. What is weird is that she was so invested in the relationship (she wanted to celebrate Valentines, she wanted to call us each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend", got jealous, etc), sent me romantic messages etc... and then it all changed overnight.

Still, maybe I wouldn't understand that weird change, but what I think has been a bit shitty is is her behaviour with the break up: trying to lay the blame on me not talking to her and breaking up with a text message, and after the break up messaging me, offering to meet, then not replying, etc etc.

Going to the gym to get  :clint: taking home another girl  :unparsons: things are looking good.


Quote from: leftpas
You mean "what you have to gain" right? Well, I think we shared so much stuff I felt really lucky to have found her. She was sweet, great sense of humor, sensitive, intelligent... And I've been thinking why I'm feeling so miserable after not seeing her, and think that I was feeling something much bigger than just feeling good being with her, so I might be in love even when we don't know each other for so long. It wasn't so much time, but we had a really intense relationship, seeing each other every weekend, many weekdays even sleeping at her place, etc.

Of course I might be blowing this all out of proportion, her mind games might be affecting me into thinking I need her more than I do, maybe I just got used to the relationship life again which I missed, or any other of more reasonable explanations, which is why I post here, to get more perspective from the saner people reading this.

And that is why I re-post your stuff here so others can laugh at you.


Quote from: leftpas
She sent me yet another text saying that she "needed to talk to me about something soon" and that she hoped "I was ok". I told her I couldn't meet today anymore and that maybe we could meet next week. She didn't reply to my message since Wednesday and I already made plans for today, so I'm not scrapping that because she finally decided to meet... I guess it's just another mind game, even when you get that burning sensation that you need to know what the hell she's up to, if it was something serious (she's going back to the USA, she's sick, pregnant, whatever), she would have replied earlier or she would phone me.

 :bait:


Quote from: leftpas
Argh.

OK, yesterday I told her I couldn't meet, because I already had plans. I thought that if it took her a day and a half to even reply to my message, it wasn't that important (she could have said "Oh, don't know if I can meet on Friday, I'll let you know", but I didn't even get that). She then replied that ok, but that she wanted to "talk to me about something, soon". And that she hoped I was ok.

Well as part of my "don't stay at home" plan, last night I went out to a club with my sister (it was her birthday) and some friends, trying to escape from the mind game webs or whatever I was stuck into.

At 5:00 AM, while dancing, I notice I have an SMS on my phone. It was her (SMS meaning she wasn't at her house, because if she had been she would have used a whatsapp text message), saying: "Hey it's me. What u up to?".

Kept on dancing and tried to get it out of my mind. Then, wake up this morning and find a text message (whatsapp this time) saying "Hey, can we meet briefly today?". What do I do? If it was something important, like something serious (pregnancy, ETS, she's going back to the USA) or if she had realized that she was in love with me and had made a mistake (sounds stupid and cheesy, I know) she would phone me to try to meet me right? Is this a fucking game still?

Let the games begin...again!  :thumbsdown:

April 2013

Quote from: leftpas
Anyway, after receiving some texts from her, including one at 4:00 AM, we finally agred to meet because she "needed to talk to me". I know it was a dumb thing to do, but I guess I hadn't told her everything I felt and also sounded like she had something important to tell.

We met and at first she told me that she had seen a genital lump/twart, so she didn't know if she had HPV. She was scared because she doesn't speak the country's language (she's been living here for more than a year), she's American and doesn't know if she's got healthcare, etc. Things then took a turn to talking about our relationship, and I told her I thought the way she handled everything was pretty shitty. Then, it went to us starting to get emotional and confessing our feelings.
......
I told her I had developed some really strong feelings for her, which surprised me because we had only been together for 5 onths. She told me she loved me, and I told her I loved her. Cue crying in the restaurant, both of us hiding our tears. I told her I had even considering rellocating for her if she decided to go back to the USA, or moving in together, registering as a couple so she could get the nationality... everything, because I had been so happy with her. She kept on going about how she loved me and that she didn't know what was wrong with her, that maybe she was "running away" from me because she saw things getting too serious between us, and that she was kind of like that way, running away from serious stuff. She said she had run away from her dying mom in the US before coming to Europe (when she left the USA, her mom was ill, so I gather that she considers that she was "running away" from her; later, she died while she was here and had to go there to the funeral and everything). She said she had been feeling really weird lately, thinking about her mom's death and the whole thing with the genital lump, that she was feeling that she might die, that a lot of people died at her age (27) etc.
.....

Next day she texts me. And like a fucking dumbass, I replied. I know I shouldn't have, and that I should have told her "Hey, I'm sorry, but do you remember what I told you last night? I have really strong feelings for you and I need to get over them if you can't be with me". But I didn't, I replied and we talked about trivial stuff, then about us. She said she had been thinking about me, that she didn't want to give up on us but that she was confused, etc. She then asked if I wanted to meet again, next day. I said it was hard to wait for a full day to see her again (dumbass error #2), but that yeah I wanted to.

.....

Next day, saturday, she texts at 6 AM me about a picture I uploaded on facebook telling me "I like your shirt". I don't reply because. During the day I get another text telling me how cute I look in that picture. I don't reply either. A few days later I get another text: "Hey". I reply with another "Hey" and she starts having small talk, how's the day, how's work. I reply with polite but short messages, when she tells me about her job I only tell her "nice". No more contact since that (tuesday I think).

I've started dating this other girl who is funny, intelligent and attractive. And I'm still annoyed at the fact that I keep thinking about the first girl, about how true it sounded when we both said we loved each other. I know you're gonna tell me I'm stupid and I guess I am but I needed to vent a bit... thanks for bearing with me.


TL/DR: Severing is hard when you have hopes and she's not following what you both agree on. Not sure if "Stuck in the Limbo of an Uncertain Breakup" or me simply being a stupid silly little man having hopes that everything would be ok again.

He finds a new woman to date but is still obsessed with Brokebrains McBumpycrotch  :facepalm: No mention of him getting tested for STD's after her telling him that.


Quote from: leftpas
I would be a bit happier if she wasn't the first thing that pops up in my mind every morning and the last thing I think of before falling asleep. It's really fucked up, I try to control it but it's hard. Speaking about bitterness, I've read that it's alright to think of the flaws and things that you didn't like about your ex, in order to fall out of love with them. However, I'm worried about becoming bitter or resentful towards her. I don't want to hate her, I just want to stop feeling like shit (and I don't mean "I don't want to hate her because she's such a nice person", no, I mean it as in the "I know that if I ended up hating her I would still not feel alright 100% because I would be harboring negative feelings, which in the end, suck).

I keep thinking stuff like the fact that she was overweright, ate like shit and did no exercise (she hated walking "long" distances, which could be 30 minutes walking; I live on a fourth floor and when she came over she would get to my door panting and like if she had performed a really heavy exercise... I don't like going up four floors either, but it seemed to much). She had spent more than a year living here and couldn't even have a basic conversation in the native language (I sometimes wondered what the hell was she going to write she thought to put in her resume at age 27: "spent a year abroad, didn't study anything or learn the language of that country". It also sounded a bit like a shallow personality trait, like if she only spent time with other Americans and British people, living in their little bubble without interacting with locals or learning about the society around them (I didn't want her to become a social activist, but we're in the midst of profound political, economical and social changes in this country and I'm pretty sure she didn't know anything about it, nor seemed interested).

She also sometimes threw fits and jealousy attacks (it all ties together: this time where we thought we wouldn't be able to catch the tube, she god really moody because she thought she had to walk home, which meant probably 20-25 minutes at max, 2 tube stops; we finally caught the tube, but she was still bitchy and didn't want to kiss me while sitting on the wagon). She also talked about her roomates and the fights they had, and how she could use stuff as "leverage" in their fights, which sounded a bit like strategically analyzing having fights with people.

Also, there were a couple of weird moments. There was this time where I hadn't properly put on the condom, and it slipped into her vagina, so I stopped having sex and I told her, because we had to get it back right? Well, she didn't want to stick her fingers into her vagina, and asked me "Won't I poop it out?" which was a bit . Those two things are not even connected! I eventually managed to take it out, but I wonder if she was going to let it inside until it came out months later.

Other than that, she's perfect!


Quote from: leftpas
Fuck, she texted me this afternoon: "Are we not talking to each other?" after I didn't reply to her last text wishing me a happy holiday. Don't know what to do. Remind her that I asked her not to contact me? Just ignore it? Get mad?

Emotional vortex here I come
....

Fucking bad day. Even when I guess I'm doing the right thing, the fact that I didn't reply to her message asking if we're not speaking to each other makes me start to have these wild ideas: what if she's having second thoughts, why did she tell me she loved me after we broke up, what if she was waiting for me to make a move...

At least I know that even if I wanted, I couldn't contact her because I deleted her number and the text message got deleted. But just the thought...


Quote from: leftpas
fuck, I just logged on OKCupid and she has just reactivated her profile. I know I shouldn't give a fuck about it, but the thought train just started: is she just looking to hook up with people there? Why wasn't I one of those hook ups and and why dis she started asking to get more serious? I would be happier if it had been just a one or two nights stand. Is she looking for a serious relationship? Why did she tell me she loved me then (after we broke up)? Has she recently reactivated it because I wasn't replying to her messages, and she still was doubtful about the whole issue but now thinks that I'm mad at her and there's no hope so she did it?

I know, none of that matters to me and it's not my bussiness, it's only gonna make me go crazy and obsess over it. But the whole mystery about what the hell has been going on these months and more specifically, what is going on in her head... man, that's some sanity lose inducing idea. I have to forget about it. I have a date tonight with a new girl, hopefully I won't obsess over this whole thing while enjoying that. Thanks for the support, again.

Posts from May 2013-

leftpas turns into Skwisgaar Squigelf. He's not some crazy stalker since he mentioned it a few posts ago!
 :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss:

Quote from: leftpas
I'm still feeling like shit after seeing she reactivated her OKcupid account (I stumbles onto it, wasn't stalking her or anything=. So all this crazy thought process started in my head and I wanted to get some perspective on it.
....

So this is where the crazy ideas come in. On one hand: is it possible that she was still having ideas about getting back together or fixing things, but thought that I was acting distant and cold, maybe was seeing another person or something, was expecting me to make a move towards her, and as I didn't, finally decided to forget about me and reactivate her OKC and start looking for someone else? Is it a "pride" thing, where she doesn't want to come after me, and I'm messing everything up because I didn't ask her to meet at a different day? Is the "accidental" phone call, all the messages saying how cute I looked at the whatsapp profile picture and stuff like that, "signals" to get me to ask her to meet again?
.....

I'm sorry for sounding so stupid, but just want some perspective. I guess my rational side is right, but it's so fucking hard to pay him heed when you're experiencing strong feelings. If she's on OKC to look for someone to hook up, I don't understand why the first months we were dating she told me she wanted something serious. Why wouldn't she just hook up with me and move on? That was what I wanted at the time, and I wouldn't be fucking getting drunk alone if it had been that way. And if she's looking for a relationship, why did she tell me she loved me when we met to talk? Why not tell me she just didn't feel we had any future or she had any deep feelings for me?

 :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss: :tuss:


Quote from: leftpas
But also because yesterday when I woke up I saw that she had sent me yet another text message, at 4 AM. This being a cryptic one: "Hahaha you're so funny". I was so tempted to reply and say "What?". I didn't, though.
I didn't know if it was just a mind game
, and she wanted me to reply just so she could write back: "Oh sorry that was meant for another guy" to make me feel bad. I also considered the fact that it was just another "signal" that she was there and wanted me to contact her, but was too proud to do it herself. But I thought that if that was the case, it wasn't worth it: if she felt something for me, it would be up to her to be assertive and not send a cryptic text message so I would tell her something, like if we were teenagers, but phone me and ask me to meet to talk. If she didn't, then it wasn't worth the effort of me replying to her message in hopes of re-initiating contact with her. Also, I got the feeling that she would reply in a small talk way, happy to have checked that I was "still there" and that she could do whatever she wants and keep texting me once in a while, in case she changes her mind.

What is really weird is that the message before that was a "Are we not speaking to each other?" to which I didn't reply. If someone doesn't reply to that and you want to find out what's going on, I guess you call them. What you don't do is send another weird text message.


Still the month of May and now he's out with yet another woman-

Quote from: leftpas
Last friday I went with my date to a club. While we were dancing, I got this phone call. I picked it up and it was some voice in English telling me that she was in my neighbourhood. I honestly didn't recognize her voice (she was drunk) and I had deleted her contact details from my phone. So I asked her who she was. She thought I was asking where she was and repeated she was at my neighbourhood, so I asked again "Yeah, but WHO are you?". That really set her off, and she started saying how could I have forgotten about her, if I was kidding her, etc. I told her to chill, and went out of the club to talk.

She started saying how I had been "ignoring her and her messages" and that that really hurt her. Also, that she had been seeing what I had been doing on facebook and that I was doing that on purpose to hurt her, that I had "clearly moved on", "met someone" blabla (the girl I'm seeing right now has been quite active at sharing links on my facebook wall and stuff like that, but it's not like I've been posting pictures of me kissing anyone or any weird passive-agressive shit like that, mind you). I told her I didn't think phoning me drunk (she cut me: "I'm sober!") at 4 AM on friday was the right way to talk about this sort of stuff, and that I wasn't ignoring her. I was only adhering to what I asked her to do: not contact me.

I told her that she had agred to do that, broke it to talk with me about having been thinking about us, asked me to meet up again, and then on that day called it off (well you know my story), so she wasn't right in saying I was ignoring her. I told her if she wanted to talk, she should make a regular phone call (not a drunken one at 4 AM) and ask me to meet in person to talk face to face, which is the way you talk about stuff you feel is important, and that I didn't have anything else to say because I couldn't even understand half the things she was saying (she wasn't hammered, but she was drunk, English is not my native language, bad signal, street noise, and couldn't even see her face so it was more difficult to understand). She said that ok, she would call me and then said "I love you", before I hung up (I'm not sure if I kind of babbled something along the lines of "Yes me too", I was drunk and it caught me off guard, maybe I made that mistake).

I'm feeling surprisingly good after that incident. I went back inside the club to keep dancing with my date and had a wonderful time, and we both went back to my place after that. I have been thinking about the call and the other girl, and think that maybe that's a proof of her not being entirely well in her head (very immature behaviour if you ask me). I'm glad to know that my perception of my self-esteem being shattered by her treating me like shit was wrong. At the same time, it feels so depressing to know that someone you've loved (even if it was for a short span of time) turned out to be a way you didn't know, and could ruin things like that. I sincerely think we fit so well, we had so many things in common and we both were so affectionate to each other because there was something very strong going on between both of us. So it's sad to think that she acted like that. It's a different sadness from what I was feeling before, though. This is more of "damn, it would have been so good, why is she so dumb?", not a "I am feeling so fucking miserable right now". Which is progres, I guess!

 :pathetic:


Quote from: leftpas
I'm not an idiot, even though I admit that I might be probably been acting as one for the past two months. I can't explain why this break up has hurted me so much, but it felt really painful, first with the shitty way to end things and then with the post-break up hopes of getting back together, and then sporadic contact from her. I know you don't want to insult me and trust me, I know that in some time I'll probably re-read this and think myself that I'm acting like an idiot. But seriously, it's fucking dragging on for too long.
.....

 I got out of a 4 years relationship almost two years ago. In that time I met and dated several girls. Attractive, funny and smart girls, to whom I didn't feel connected, though. And then this girl came and I felt like being in a relationship again: enjoying hanging out together, laying in bed talking, watching a movie, listening about her life and her family or friends, etc. It got to the point that (apologies for sounding fruity) making her happy made me feel happy, seeing her smile was the only reward I needed. But then, it ended with her acting in a shitty way. And it makes me feel... fuck, it's so hard to find all those qualities again. Any success stories from people who were in that situation?

 :pathetic:

Keep in mind all that drama took place way back in 2013 between March and May.

FOUR YEARS LATER SEPT 2017

Quote from: leftpas
Hi everyone. I wanted to pick your mind about something that happened last night.

I broke with my girlfriend of three years last year around this time in September. It had been a pretty intense relationship, and although I loved her a lot, several problems (like the recurrent and crazy fights, lack of commitment on her part etc. you can look at my post history and read the thread if you're interested) eventually led to me breaking up. It was very painful and we even went through the "we're on a break" stage etc. I eventually told her I wanted to end for good (after reading some of the advice from you guys here and thinking it over for days) and as we lived in different cities I had to do it by phone. Cue horrible conversations on phone, her yelling that I owed her to go and tell her to her face (it was a 4 hour train trip), then her making promises on how she would change things... I felt sad and ridden by guilt. And that feeling only increased when, after telling her to please stop talking to each other for a while, she kept texting me that she missed me etc. The 1st of January she texted me how much she missed me and that we needed to talk and started phoning me (like 5 or 6 different calls) but I didn't pick it up, I just replied that we needed to let some more time pass.

OK, so months have passed. I met this amazing girl, fell in love with her. Huge world of difference this time. We have some fights or other problems, but nothing close to what happened with the ex, and in general everything is running smoothly. But I still feel bad about my ex. It's weird, but when I think of her I get such strong feelings that bring me down. Of course I sometimes might remember nice things that I used to love and miss them, but mostly the feeling is more of guilt, of me feeling bad about her life, pitying her.

And then last night I was partying with my girlfriend and her friends and suddenly I got a text from my ex. She was like "hey leftpas, how are you?". I didn't reply but it kind of messed up my night. Feeling bad about not replying to her previous 10 texts or so (Iwhich I hadn't even read when I got them months ago, only the first words that pop up when you get the notification, most of them "I miss you..." ), I replied this morning with "Hey I'm fine. I hope you're good too ". Some time later she replied "That's lovely, well I won't bother you anymore [insert happy emoji here]".

So two questions... 1) Is my text wrong? I didn't want to imply that she was bothering me. But I didn't want to ask how she was or anything because I didn't want to engage. It still brings me down to think about the whole thing. Should I tell her that she wasn't bothering me and that I just didn't feel like talking? That makes me afraid she might confuse that for "feeling something" and trying to get in touch again or something. And 2) Am I crazy not to be over the whole thing already? I love my girlfriend and hiding this text made me feel bad, like I was lying to her or something. It's just that the whole relationship was so intense and I was so torn about whether to end it that I don't want to revisit it. Is that normal?


 :tucker: :guntemple: :megastare: :bunker:


One fly brotherfucker

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #41 on: September 18, 2017, 09:38:06 PM »
+18
Quote
Also, there were a couple of weird moments. There was this time where I hadn't properly put on the condom, and it slipped into her vagina, so I stopped having sex and I told her, because we had to get it back right? Well, she didn't want to stick her fingers into her vagina, and asked me "Won't I poop it out?" which was a bit . Those two things are not even connected! I eventually managed to take it out, but I wonder if she was going to let it inside until it came out months later.


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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #42 on: September 18, 2017, 09:49:23 PM »
+7
FOUR YEARS LATER SEPT 2017

Quote from: leftpas
Hi everyone. I wanted to pick your mind about something that happened last night.

I broke with my girlfriend of three years last year around this time in September. It had been a pretty intense relationship, and although I loved her a lot, several problems (like the recurrent and crazy fights, lack of commitment on her part etc. you can look at my post history and read the thread if you're interested) eventually led to me breaking up. It was very painful and we even went through the "we're on a break" stage etc. I eventually told her I wanted to end for good (after reading some of the advice from you guys here and thinking it over for days) and as we lived in different cities I had to do it by phone. Cue horrible conversations on phone, her yelling that I owed her to go and tell her to her face (it was a 4 hour train trip), then her making promises on how she would change things... I felt sad and ridden by guilt. And that feeling only increased when, after telling her to please stop talking to each other for a while, she kept texting me that she missed me etc. The 1st of January she texted me how much she missed me and that we needed to talk and started phoning me (like 5 or 6 different calls) but I didn't pick it up, I just replied that we needed to let some more time pass.

OK, so months have passed. I met this amazing girl, fell in love with her. Huge world of difference this time. We have some fights or other problems, but nothing close to what happened with the ex, and in general everything is running smoothly. But I still feel bad about my ex. It's weird, but when I think of her I get such strong feelings that bring me down. Of course I sometimes might remember nice things that I used to love and miss them, but mostly the feeling is more of guilt, of me feeling bad about her life, pitying her.

And then last night I was partying with my girlfriend and her friends and suddenly I got a text from my ex. She was like "hey leftpas, how are you?". I didn't reply but it kind of messed up my night. Feeling bad about not replying to her previous 10 texts or so (Iwhich I hadn't even read when I got them months ago, only the first words that pop up when you get the notification, most of them "I miss you..." ), I replied this morning with "Hey I'm fine. I hope you're good too ". Some time later she replied "That's lovely, well I won't bother you anymore [insert happy emoji here]".

So two questions... 1) Is my text wrong? I didn't want to imply that she was bothering me. But I didn't want to ask how she was or anything because I didn't want to engage. It still brings me down to think about the whole thing. Should I tell her that she wasn't bothering me and that I just didn't feel like talking? That makes me afraid she might confuse that for "feeling something" and trying to get in touch again or something. And 2) Am I crazy not to be over the whole thing already? I love my girlfriend and hiding this text made me feel bad, like I was lying to her or something. It's just that the whole relationship was so intense and I was so torn about whether to end it that I don't want to revisit it. Is that normal?

It should be emphasized that this nigger is now 33 years old and he's writing like he's 15 years old getting over his first summer crush.  Goddamn.

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #43 on: September 18, 2017, 11:11:10 PM »
+10
Fagmins change my name to PROTECTIVE BODY POSITIVITY ROLLS

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #44 on: September 18, 2017, 11:32:13 PM »
+3
Jesus what a sad faggot.

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #45 on: September 19, 2017, 05:30:52 AM »
+3
just how euro trashy must you be to get this involved with a fat crazy american  slut. surely theres a vast sea of skinny crazy euro sluts lining up to ruin your life

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #46 on: September 19, 2017, 11:11:26 AM »
+4
Four years later? How the fuck does he even remember what she looks like?

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #47 on: September 19, 2017, 12:51:21 PM »
+4
Goons posting these stories gives me second-hand embarrassment. Back in my day  :clint: :johnwayne: when I went through a bad break up, I had real life friends I could talk to, get drunk with and move on. Goons have no friends or any shame for that matter. Good for us, bad for them.





And now for something completely different

Quote from: Mister Speaker
Different kind of breakup: Looks like I'm losing a best friend over some stupid bullshit again. My roommate leaves windows open and AC on and doesn't clean up common areas well (and we've talked about this many times before), and on Saturday night he left our front door wide open... I love the guy, we've been there for each other through some real tough times, but lately I'm starting to feel that the little things like that are just indicative of a lack of mutual respect and it came to a head with the open front door. I sent him a letter with an ultimatum and he furiously turned it back on me with a barrage of angry texts calling me disrespectful, untrustworthy, not a real friend, a snake... I had a bit of an anxiety attack and had to leave work. And now I'm wondering if he's not entirely wrong, maybe I am the bad guy in this situation. No doubt all our mutual friendships are going to implode as well, I don't have the energy to defend myself to that many people.

This isn't nearly as bad as what went down last winter, but if I'm going to lose good friends in a spectacular shitshow every year, maybe I don't want to play anymore.

Goon lives with a slob, writes passive aggressive letter to slob then gets a case of the vapors when slob gets angry and has to leave work.  :lolno: How do these people manage to function day-to-day??


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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #48 on: September 19, 2017, 05:53:27 PM »
+2
Goons posting these stories gives me second-hand embarrassment. Back in my day  :clint: :johnwayne: when I went through a bad break up, I had real life friends I could talk to, get drunk with and move on. Goons have no friends or any shame for that matter. Good for us, bad for them.





And now for something completely different

Quote from: Mister Speaker
Different kind of breakup: Looks like I'm losing a best friend over some stupid bullshit again. My roommate leaves windows open and AC on and doesn't clean up common areas well (and we've talked about this many times before), and on Saturday night he left our front door wide open... I love the guy, we've been there for each other through some real tough times, but lately I'm starting to feel that the little things like that are just indicative of a lack of mutual respect and it came to a head with the open front door. I sent him a letter with an ultimatum and he furiously turned it back on me with a barrage of angry texts calling me disrespectful, untrustworthy, not a real friend, a snake... I had a bit of an anxiety attack and had to leave work. And now I'm wondering if he's not entirely wrong, maybe I am the bad guy in this situation. No doubt all our mutual friendships are going to implode as well, I don't have the energy to defend myself to that many people.

This isn't nearly as bad as what went down last winter, but if I'm going to lose good friends in a spectacular shitshow every year, maybe I don't want to play anymore.

Goon lives with a slob, writes passive aggressive letter to slob then gets a case of the vapors when slob gets angry and has to leave work.  :lolno: How do these people manage to function day-to-day??

Have these niggers never heard of a goddamn xanax?

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Re: Goon Amore: E/N Breakup Megathread. Free schadenfreude ITT
« Reply #49 on: September 19, 2017, 09:13:52 PM »
+3
Have these niggers never heard of a goddamn xanax?

Benzos are bad news,propranolol takes away the physical side effects of anxiety without turning you into a retard that can't remember all the uninhibited and possibly violent shit you did.

Like the shit that's going on is a legit problem but telling that asshole he can start paying a bigger share of the electric bill if he wants to be stupid and as for the front door being wide open in the middle of the night that just has to stop. Starts just as much shit as the faggy letter.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2017, 09:22:27 PM by Yankees are Scum »