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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 884173 times)

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6075 on: January 11, 2018, 09:35:17 AM »
+2


Quote from: Koalas March
Nah, it comes in waves. Usually only once for a few days every couple weeks.

I'll have moments of free time available to throw bricks through some windows.

 

Something a woman gets for a few days once a month? What could this horrible yet unnamed syndrome possibly be?

:adam:

Toxic shock syndrome?  :jesse:

anti-nigger machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6076 on: January 13, 2018, 07:11:58 PM »
+4
Quote from: hanales
Hey guys if you havenít watched Obama on Letterman netflix special you are missing out. I canít express how amazing it is.

Now my wife is crying because she misses him so much.

Quote from: blurred
Yeah, highly recommended. Someone earlier mentioned their partner crying when watching it, my wife did the same (she's Czech and has never been to the States before). The character gap between Obama and this current fucker couldn't be more stark.

And I also like that they didn't even deign to mention Trump once during the entire interview, like it was just completely beneath their dignity to do so. It's nice to watch competent, civilised statesmen speak every once in a while just to restore one's sanity and to drive home how appallingly abnormal this current farce of an administration is. Like, nothing else needed to be said about it.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6077 on: January 14, 2018, 11:10:11 AM »
+10
Didn't David Letterman admit to having sex with a bunch of different women on his staff while he was married?

I mean, if we are talking high caliber men and all.  :rolleyes:

Procrustes

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6078 on: January 14, 2018, 11:15:49 AM »
+9
Civilized statesman means serial rapist I guess

Tariq Aziz

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6079 on: January 14, 2018, 11:28:09 AM »
+3
In what sort of mental state you gotta be to read that post about Google and think, "Yeah this is pretty good & makes sense"... The perils of feeling and acting like you're some kind of misunderstood genius.

Hollywood Shabat Goy Yaro

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6080 on: January 14, 2018, 12:52:35 PM »
+5
Quote from: hanales
Hey guys if you havenít watched Obama on Letterman netflix special you are missing out. I canít express how amazing it is.

Now my wife is crying because she misses him so much.

Quote from: blurred
Yeah, highly recommended. Someone earlier mentioned their partner crying when watching it, my wife did the same (she's Czech and has never been to the States before). The character gap between Obama and this current fucker couldn't be more stark.

And I also like that they didn't even deign to mention Trump once during the entire interview, like it was just completely beneath their dignity to do so. It's nice to watch competent, civilised statesmen speak every once in a while just to restore one's sanity and to drive home how appallingly abnormal this current farce of an administration is. Like, nothing else needed to be said about it.

It seems you can practically do anything and get away with it as long as you appear "presidential" and an "elder statesman" to stupid progs and rugbes. 


Quote

Don't pick a fight with Al Franken, this is the guy who in truth should be President. Smart, ethical and generally a good person. And he is a comic so in a verbal war he will make you look stupid.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6081 on: January 14, 2018, 07:59:46 PM »
+5
style over substance for these reddit fucks.


Autism Therapy Chicken

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6082 on: January 14, 2018, 10:40:19 PM »
+14
style over substance for these reddit fucks.

Nothing a little Photoshop Magic can't fix.


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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6083 on: January 14, 2018, 10:46:45 PM »
+3
Call the president a fucker but you can't call Ecuador a shithole.  :smug:

anti-nigger machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6084 on: January 19, 2018, 03:05:59 AM »
+5
A brief peek into clownworld

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/954150836191547392.html

Quote from: Carlosologist
I hadn't quite made the connection that the Russians infiltrated conservative media and groups like the NRA, but that all makes too much sense now. Wow. The author of the thread suggests that this is all really strong circumstantial evidence for treason, and the Mueller investigation may turn up with the smoking gun

2019 is gonna be insane

Quote from: Ms Adequate
Fuuuucking hell  If even a small percentage of what Fusion uncovered were accurate it'd be Doomsday for Trump. Given that it's very probable that a great deal of it is accurate, Mueller's never going to finish his damn job because like a legal Sisyphus, every time he investigates something it just results in five more shitty things he has to untangle.

Quote from: Bakanogami
So if the Russians were apparently trying to infiltrate right wing organizations like the NRA in general, what are the chances they also tried to do the same with media organizations like Fox and Breitbart?

If this thing now has links to Bannon, Brexit, and Farage we might as well assume it goes all the way.

Quote from: Arrgytehpirate
So, if it does turn out that Russia has basically taken over the right wing in Trump, the NRA, maybe another org or think tank, what happens?

Is there war led by Mike Pence? Is there a military coup? Does Muller take over since he killed the king? Do nukes fly?

Quote from: Heck Yes! Loam!
money laundering charges, FBI raids, RICO, pardons, constitutional crisis, midterm election whose outcome determines what happens.

That may be out of order, and there may be a few steps missing, but the start and end point are correct I think

Quote from: RZApublican
:stare:

Is this what the start of the McCarthy Hearings felt like? With the exception of everything being true in this case, of course.

Quote from: Stereotype
Lol Republicans literally elected a rapist in several international organized crime syndicates. They also somehow donít believe it and somehow do believe a basement-less pizza place was hosting a massive sex trafficking scheme in their basement. Iíll literally never believe how much they validate then exceed my already comically bad opinion of them.

The Watcher

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6085 on: January 19, 2018, 07:24:29 AM »
+8
When the Muller investigation folds you shoul archive D&D meltdown and post it.
His name was Harry Anderson

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6086 on: January 19, 2018, 08:15:58 AM »
+2
That one about Mueller taking over as President. . .. that's a troll, right? No one actually believes that's a thing that can happen, can they? It's just so mystifyingly stupid.

blasting_asshole

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6087 on: January 19, 2018, 09:34:54 AM »
+15
Everything I don't like was infiltrated by the Russians.

J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6088 on: January 19, 2018, 09:51:22 AM »
+4
That one about Mueller taking over as President. . .. that's a troll, right? No one actually believes that's a thing that can happen, can they? It's just so mystifyingly stupid.

If I had to guess, he doesn't really believe it but its part of the deification libs do of every person they think is on their side.  It's the same mentality as when they unironically float the idea of Michelle Obama running for President.  "This person believes what I believe, thus they are obvious superior to all others.  Let me praise them unapologetically and with a fervor that would make Kim il Jong blush."


Backpfeifengesicht

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6089 on: January 19, 2018, 11:01:14 AM »
+8
It's like having a machine that lets you read things posted in Opposite World.
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6090 on: January 19, 2018, 11:43:11 AM »
+4
Both sides are now trying to out alex jones each other.

Soon the russians will be the people who invented flying space pyramids thousands of years ago and they planted hundreds of trump clone seeds that would sprout throughout history which is why it appears that Donald Trump is a time traveler.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6091 on: January 19, 2018, 01:49:47 PM »
+5
Everything I don't like was infiltrated by the Russians.
yeah funny how they ignore that the russians were also running "Blactivist" facebook pages with like 300k followers
god > man > horse > woman > dog

blasting_asshole

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6092 on: January 19, 2018, 01:53:15 PM »
+7
"Infiltrated" = a bunch of sockpuppet Facebook accounts and internet shitpostings the mainstream media was dumb, desperate and impatient enough to fall for.
"Hacked" = found a sticky note that said "password = Democrats2017!" taped to a laptop.
"Colluded with Russian officials" = talked to some random Russian lawyer
"Laundered money" = had accounts and transcripts through a massive world bank that accidentally laundered money, fessed up to it, paid the penalty and moved along, like all banks do.
"Sabotaged the democratic process" = the polls were wrong, mainly because they used "genius math" to make the results whatever they wanted the results to be.

At what point do you have to draw the line and blame the "victim?" I really do wish we lived in a world where my farts smell like a variety of Burberry fragrances, but for fuck sake, this is planet earth. Don't leave your password taped to your laptop, don't leave your bike unattended in black neighborhoods and don't fucking fall for whatever unconfirmed claim you see on social media.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2018, 02:06:06 PM by blasting_asshole »

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6093 on: January 19, 2018, 02:03:02 PM »
+5
Zog-O is that you???

Quote from: BarbarianElephant
This is just accelerationism. No-one is "pretending" the GOP is not crazy, it's just the GOP voters like it that way. The crazier the GOP gets, the crazier their voters get. They almost never say "Gosh, this is just too crazy for me! I think I'm a Democrat now." Instead they think "Well, I used to feel that food stamps served a valuable need in feeding the hungry, but I've been made aware that all they do is feed neediness, dependence and laziness. I'm glad they are going away."

Quote from: TheDisreputableDog
This is probably the most good faith (and thus, ill-advised) post I've ever made here, but yes, there is a limit.

I've voted Republican my whole life, did not vote for Trump.

The day after the "many sides" presser, I switched my registration to unaffiliated and sent an email to the RNC explaining what I did and why.

The shittiest part of this whole thing for me is not Trump, but the spinelessness of the people I used to respect in my party who enable him. I seriously hope they all lose their jobs, I hope the Republicans get thrown out so hard their heads spin. I want 2018 and 2020 to be bloodbaths. I want us to be out in the cold for 10 years and come back as a party that actually internalizes christian ideals of charity and conservation along with traditional conservative values. So at least one person did get off the merry-go-round of stupid, for what it's worth.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6094 on: January 19, 2018, 02:05:53 PM »
+2
Zog-O is that you???

Quote from: BarbarianElephant
This is just accelerationism. No-one is "pretending" the GOP is not crazy, it's just the GOP voters like it that way. The crazier the GOP gets, the crazier their voters get. They almost never say "Gosh, this is just too crazy for me! I think I'm a Democrat now." Instead they think "Well, I used to feel that food stamps served a valuable need in feeding the hungry, but I've been made aware that all they do is feed neediness, dependence and laziness. I'm glad they are going away."

Quote from: TheDisreputableDog
This is probably the most good faith (and thus, ill-advised) post I've ever made here, but yes, there is a limit.

I've voted Republican my whole life, did not vote for Trump.

The day after the "many sides" presser, I switched my registration to unaffiliated and sent an email to the RNC explaining what I did and why.

The shittiest part of this whole thing for me is not Trump, but the spinelessness of the people I used to respect in my party who enable him. I seriously hope they all lose their jobs, I hope the Republicans get thrown out so hard their heads spin. I want 2018 and 2020 to be bloodbaths. I want us to be out in the cold for 10 years and come back as a party that actually internalizes christian ideals of charity and conservation along with traditional conservative values. So at least one person did get off the merry-go-round of stupid, for what it's worth.
You're reading my false flag posts

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6095 on: January 19, 2018, 02:55:19 PM »
+5

Quote from: TheDisreputableDog
This is probably the most good faith (and thus, ill-advised) post I've ever made here, but yes, there is a limit.

I've voted Republican my whole life, did not vote for Trump.

The day after the "many sides" presser, I switched my registration to unaffiliated and sent an email to the RNC explaining what I did and why.

The shittiest part of this whole thing for me is not Trump, but the spinelessness of the people I used to respect in my party who enable him. I seriously hope they all lose their jobs, I hope the Republicans get thrown out so hard their heads spin. I want 2018 and 2020 to be bloodbaths. I want us to be out in the cold for 10 years and come back as a party that actually internalizes christian ideals of charity and conservation along with traditional conservative values. So at least one person did get off the merry-go-round of stupid, for what it's worth.

MUH CONSERVATIVE VALUES

White Rapper

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6096 on: January 19, 2018, 03:06:15 PM »
0
Both sides are now trying to out alex jones each other.

Soon the russians will be the people who invented flying space pyramids thousands of years ago and they planted hundreds of trump clone seeds that would sprout throughout history which is why it appears that Donald Trump is a time traveler.

The new comedy central show the opposition keeps trying to parody Alex Jones style coverups. Except most of the time the joke feels forced or falls flat leaving them ironically just repeating Alex Jones. 

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6097 on: January 19, 2018, 03:08:21 PM »
0
"Infiltrated" = a bunch of sockpuppet Facebook accounts and internet shitpostings the mainstream media was dumb, desperate and impatient enough to fall for.
"Hacked" = found a sticky note that said "password = Democrats2017!" taped to a laptop.
"Colluded with Russian officials" = talked to some random Russian lawyer
"Laundered money" = had accounts and transcripts through a massive world bank that accidentally laundered money, fessed up to it, paid the penalty and moved along, like all banks do.
"Sabotaged the democratic process" = the polls were wrong, mainly because they used "genius math" to make the results whatever they wanted the results to be.

At what point do you have to draw the line and blame the "victim?" I really do wish we lived in a world where my farts smell like a variety of Burberry fragrances, but for fuck sake, this is planet earth. Don't leave your password taped to your laptop, don't leave your bike unattended in black neighborhoods and don't fucking fall for whatever unconfirmed claim you see on social media.

No one is going to put forth any great effort to blame the victim because no one cares about them. They lost and repeating their loss is not a valid power tactic anyone needs to mind.

The Soys Of Summer

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6098 on: January 19, 2018, 08:49:29 PM »
+12
A brief peek into clownworld

The same people who demand unvetted Muslims and Latinos be allowed to flood the country want you to be alarmed about Russians "meddling" in American discourse.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6099 on: January 19, 2018, 08:52:58 PM »
+8
Apparently the memo contains nothing but uninteresting stuff that CNN already reported and republicans are just blowing it out of proportion because their voter base has peanut sized brains and classified information isn't really classified information because you can make Moby Dick classified information if you submit the right paperwork so classified information really means nothing.

No I have not seen the memo, but we must impeach trump!