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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 213068 times)

Gentilen't

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4850 on: December 29, 2017, 09:49:33 PM »
+11
i propose if we just hung and gutted people with marxist views of privilege and race based accusations our society would be better off as a whole
please delete this

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4851 on: January 05, 2018, 05:17:18 AM »
+12
https://www.informationliberation.com/?id=57783

Quote
In February, German public television is set to air a made-for-TV movie titled "Break-out to the Unknown" wherein a European family is forced to flee from Germany to escape a "collapsing," "right-wing extremist" government that "persecutes dissidents, Muslims and homosexuals."

They chose to seek refuge in Africa, which is "enjoying political and economic stability after an economic boom."

 :rock:
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4852 on: January 05, 2018, 01:59:40 PM »
+5
Unless it is state sponsored it will last three episodes and be cancelled. At least that's how it would happen in America.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4853 on: January 06, 2018, 10:02:47 PM »
+9
https://www.informationliberation.com/?id=57783

Quote
In February, German public television is set to air a made-for-TV movie titled "Break-out to the Unknown" wherein a European family is forced to flee from Germany to escape a "collapsing," "right-wing extremist" government that "persecutes dissidents, Muslims and homosexuals."

They chose to seek refuge in Africa, which is "enjoying political and economic stability after an economic boom."

 :rock:

hahahahaha

well hey, if it convinces retarded lefties to flee the west for Africa, then I'd say it's a job well done  :nixon:

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4854 on: January 09, 2018, 03:02:29 AM »
+5
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-09/university-cancels-stress-less-petting-zoo-after-peta-complaint/9314396

Quote
The University of Canberra (UC) has avoided a potential dogfight with animal activist group PETA by cancelling annual petting zoos on campus.

The university promised students they could "pat puppies and cuddle chickens" during last year's stress-less weeks — a program designed to calm nerves ahead of exams.

But PETA said it was alarmed when seeing the petting zoos on the list of activities for the fortnight, claiming the event would actually cause stress for the animals involved.

 :unparsons: I like to relieve my "stress" from exams by bothering little animals

 :parsons: but PETA said it's illegal and they will burn the place down
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

Obese-n-Triggered

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4855 on: January 10, 2018, 12:20:47 AM »
+12
PETA are humorless shitheels and no one should take them seriously. They're hypocritical as all hell and the founder is a major creep.


Bringing comfort animals on campus for pampered kids is also pretty lame so I'm torn here. But puppies!  Never mind, no contest - hold the event and tell PETA to get stuffed.

Bitter Weirdo

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Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4857 on: January 10, 2018, 08:55:06 AM »
+6
Anxiously awaiting the news story:

"A Redding, California man was arrested today after it was discovered he had 55 pounds of meth in his basement. The apartment caught fire and he gave some dumb excuse like 'I was trying to kill a spider with a blow torch'"


Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4858 on: January 10, 2018, 11:11:51 AM »
+3
Anxiously awaiting the news story:

"A Redding, California man was arrested today after it was discovered he had 55 pounds of meth in his basement. The apartment caught fire and he gave some dumb excuse like 'I was trying to kill a spider with a blow torch'"

It's Redding so the 55 lbs. of meth is sort of a given.

InsideOutside

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4859 on: January 11, 2018, 11:37:32 AM »
+22
India's first and only nuclear submarine crippled because the lazy fucks forgot to do the needful:

https://ukdefencejournal.org.uk/indias-first-nuclear-missile-submarine-crippled-sailor-leaves-hatch-open/?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=UKDJPage&utm_campaign=social

Quote
India’s first nuclear missile submarine crippled as sailor leaves hatch open

A hatch left open on the INS Arihant lead to saltwater flooding the propulsion area, rendering the $2.9 billion submarine inoperative.

The incident was first reported by The Hindu. According to an Indian Navy source, a hatch was left open allowing seawater to rush in.


Pajeet my son, you are sailor now and must choose - superpower 2030 or watery grave

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4860 on: January 11, 2018, 12:09:05 PM »
+19
Ahh, the old "hey new guy, check out mermaid bobs and vegene outside" trick.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2018, 01:43:53 PM by Dr. Hatchet-Wound »

OZMA CURES HAM

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4861 on: January 11, 2018, 12:37:59 PM »
+16
Dude had to shit, and there aren't any streets on-board submarines.

Pizza Cancellation Specialist

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4862 on: January 11, 2018, 08:51:15 PM »
+16
We all joke, ha ha ha, but who among us can say we've taken a $3 billion dollar shit.
I have a pet conspiracy theory about Lil Yachty. The Jews made him famous to put all the marginally talented blacks like Jay-Z and whomever on notice that their fame and fortune has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any talent they might have. Jewish producers can take the most retarded nigger they can find, a guy so dumb he can't even write his own name, hook him up to autotone, and make him a star. They don't need Jay-Z; Jay-Z needs them.

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4863 on: January 11, 2018, 09:02:19 PM »
+8
Can God drop a deuce so big even he can't flush it?  :adam:

level 69 memelord

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Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

Obese-n-Triggered

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4865 on: January 12, 2018, 12:40:39 AM »
+9
India's first and only nuclear submarine crippled because the lazy fucks forgot to do the needful:

https://ukdefencejournal.org.uk/indias-first-nuclear-missile-submarine-crippled-sailor-leaves-hatch-open/?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=UKDJPage&utm_campaign=social

Quote
India’s first nuclear missile submarine crippled as sailor leaves hatch open

A hatch left open on the INS Arihant lead to saltwater flooding the propulsion area, rendering the $2.9 billion submarine inoperative.

The incident was first reported by The Hindu. According to an Indian Navy source, a hatch was left open allowing seawater to rush in.


Pajeet my son, you are sailor now and must choose - superpower 2030 or watery grave


:ohdear:  Who did they call for tech support?

InsideOutside

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4866 on: January 12, 2018, 12:44:23 PM »
+13
You've got curry niggers with fake degrees working off Soviet nuclear submarine blueprints. Can you even imagine?  :tuss:

Brandlebrundt

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4867 on: January 12, 2018, 04:17:42 PM »
+15
Illinois AG candidate robbed at gunpoint in Chicago during campaign photoshoot

Quote
A Democratic candidate running for Illinois attorney general was robbed at gunpoint Thursday during a campaign photoshoot in Chicago.

The Chicago Tribune reported that Aaron Goldstein, 42, and members of his campaign team were approached by three men in their early 20s. One of the men had a handgun and demanded Goldstein and the campaign aides turn over the camera equipment and other personal belongings, including their cell phones, which they did.

According to the Tribune, law enforcement sources confirmed that they had no one in custody and did not release a description of the suspects.

Goldstein’s campaign manager Robert Murphy, who was not with the candidate at the time, explained that he was taking promotional campaign photos with an “in-the-neighborhood kind of” message, according to the Tribune. The incident took place in Albany Park.

Murphy, a Chicago committeeman, told the Tribune that no one was harmed during the robbery, and that the campaign was assured by the police that the robbery was not a targeted act.

Goldstein, Murphy and campaign spokespeople did not respond to Fox News’ request for comment.

Goldstein's campaign Facebook page posted a link to the Tribune article, with the comment: "Thank you all for your concern, well wishes, thoughts and prayers. My team and I are all good."

Goldstein is running for attorney general to replace Lisa Madigan and is part of a crowded field of eight vying for the Democratic nomination.

Hollywood Shabat Goy Yaro

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4868 on: January 12, 2018, 05:06:42 PM »
+6
You've got curry niggers with fake degrees working off Soviet nuclear submarine blueprints. Can you even imagine?  :tuss:

It is interesting to see how both China and India operate off of an imported Russian industrial base for their defense industries, yet China is the much more successful of the two in producing and exporting their military products. 


Quote

Don't pick a fight with Al Franken, this is the guy who in truth should be President. Smart, ethical and generally a good person. And he is a comic so in a verbal war he will make you look stupid.

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Thanks Maureen. I've been dealing with that pedantic argument of not being able to spell makes me an idiot since grade school. I'm autistic with a 130+ iq who writes a graphic novel about sex abuse and with an obsession about pshycology to the point I'm more informed than my therapists about current news.

Hugbox Kommissar

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4869 on: January 16, 2018, 02:28:22 PM »
+9
Rural California has had enough, wants out.

Quote
With the reading of their own version of a Declaration of Independence, founders of the state of New California took the first steps to what they hope will eventually lead to statehood. CBS Sacramento reports they don't want to leave the United States, just California.

"Well, it's been ungovernable for a long time. High taxes, education, you name it, and we're rated around 48th or 50th from a business climate and standpoint in California," said founder Robert Paul Preston.

The state of New California would incorporate most of the state's rural counties, leaving the urban coastal counties to the current state of California.
State of Jefferson BTFO.

POST FRANK

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4870 on: January 16, 2018, 03:02:20 PM »
+4
You've got curry niggers with fake degrees working off Soviet nuclear submarine blueprints. Can you even imagine?  :tuss:

It is interesting to see how both China and India operate off of an imported Russian industrial base for their defense industries

China's military industrial base is imported from Russia and stolen from America.  India has an ever-increasingly weird amalgamation of Russian-British-French-American sources, although it seems to be moving away from Russia and more towards NATO (mostly America).

Quote
yet China is the much more successful of the two in producing and exporting their military products.

China's only significant military export is unlicensed M16 copies and licensed AK copies lol

Small Weinered Goon

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4871 on: January 19, 2018, 11:07:34 AM »
+9
Goddamn, imagine the smell inside of an Indian submarine

The Watcher

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4872 on: January 19, 2018, 11:16:56 AM »
+3
Goddamn, imagine the smell inside of an Indian submarine
:stonk:
His name was Harry Anderson

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4873 on: January 19, 2018, 01:30:37 PM »
+3
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alfRDPQY2YM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alfRDPQY2YM</a>
nah im a
white wow


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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #4874 on: January 19, 2018, 02:34:50 PM »
+1
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alfRDPQY2YM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alfRDPQY2YM</a>

this guy must be having some kind of mental break, the way he moves is not natural at all