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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 168774 times)

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5175 on: May 11, 2018, 04:32:20 PM »
+8
Let's not forget Chris Wallace reading from one of Hillary's speeches where she said

"My dream is a hemispheric common market, with open trade and open borders, sometime in the future with energy that's as green and sustainable as we can get it, powering growth and opportunity for every person in the hemisphere," Clinton reportedly said to investors in a paid speech she gave to Brazilian Banco Itau in 2013.

And she replied: "I was talking about energy. You know, we trade more energy with our neighbors than we trade with the rest of the world combined," she said. "And I do want us to have an electric grid, an energy system that crosses borders. I think that will be great benefit to us."

Then she said "You buy that, right? Right? RIGHT!?" and then she shook her head back and forth and laughed like a loon and the devil popped out of her ear.


wow

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5176 on: May 12, 2018, 05:43:01 PM »
+1
OC, my local news is wild today

kill
yourself
wow

888 Didnt Read Shit

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5177 on: May 15, 2018, 07:35:49 AM »
+5
At this point some are convinced of time travel or divine intervention.
There were points during the election where I seriously wondered whether we were seeing the hand of God in action. Stuff like Hillary collapsing, the "this is a legitimate email" flub that led to the DNC hack, the overconfidence that led Team Hillary to not campaign in key states.

There is something undeniably amazing about how every time the press thinks they've FINALLY GOT DRUMPH it collapses before them. There's something about how he keeps bungling his way to success.

Divine intervention seems just as good an explanation as any.

Dem Wypipo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5178 on: May 15, 2018, 07:54:44 AM »
+9
Kek still watches over us


The Watcher

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5179 on: May 15, 2018, 10:06:40 AM »
+5
His name was Harry Anderson

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5180 on: May 23, 2018, 10:35:19 AM »
+6
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/dozens-of-foreign-isis-brides-have-been-sentenced-to-death-in-iraq/news-story/ef8a7c838e7e0e8f02a7eae698bdbcb4

Dozens of foreign ISIS brides have been sentenced to death in Iraq

Quote
French citizen Djamila Boutoutao, 29, appeared in court last month and claimed: “I thought I had married a rapper. It was only when we arrived in Turkey for a week-long ‘holiday’ that I discovered my husband was a jihadist.”

Franzo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5181 on: May 23, 2018, 10:44:50 AM »
+8
It's good that they specify "citizen" and not just french. Djamila Boutoutao lol.

The Watcher

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5182 on: May 23, 2018, 11:37:35 AM »
+3
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/dozens-of-foreign-isis-brides-have-been-sentenced-to-death-in-iraq/news-story/ef8a7c838e7e0e8f02a7eae698bdbcb4

Dozens of foreign ISIS brides have been sentenced to death in Iraq

Quote
French citizen Djamila Boutoutao, 29, appeared in court last month and claimed: “I thought I had married a rapper. It was only when we arrived in Turkey for a week-long ‘holiday’ that I discovered my husband was a jihadist.”
Reminds me of that guy who went hiking with his pregnant wife to Iraq(?) and got kidnapped tourchered, and raped. I forgot how that one turned out, oh well  :jesse:
His name was Harry Anderson

Rob Halford's Scrotal Sack

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5183 on: May 23, 2018, 01:18:54 PM »
+14
Dozens of foreign ISIS brides have been sentenced to death in Iraq

AND NOTHING OF VALUE WILL BE LOST

Backpfeifengesicht

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5184 on: May 27, 2018, 01:50:07 PM »
+11
It's back!

Two Ebola patients who fled quarantine may have exposed dozens to virus

Quote
Health officials in Congo are anxious to contain the country's deadly Ebola outbreak — which has already spread to an urban area — before the situation gets any worse. But controlling the virus may have just gotten tougher.

On Thursday, a senior Doctors Without Borders aid worker said that two patients infected with Ebola who fled their hospital on Monday night potentially exposed dozens of more people to the virus.

In a briefing in Geneva, Jean-Clement Cabrol, a doctor who had just returned from Congo, said "the patients were in the active phase of the disease, vomiting" when their families removed them from the hospital, put them on motorcycles, and took them to a religious gathering of 50 people. Ebola is contagious through bodily fluids, and both patients, who were at an acute phase of the illness, died within hours.

Quote
Now comes the challenge of determining who the patients may have come into contact with once they left the hospital in the city of more than 1 million people. There have been 58 confirmed, probable  and suspected cases of Ebola — and 27 deaths — as of Tuesday. That number could dramatically increase if the disease were to spread widely in a major city.

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MY FURSONOUNS

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5185 on: May 29, 2018, 03:12:28 PM »
+4
hand to god, i thought valerie jarrett was just a burn victim, not black
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