I actually agree with you guys (and teabiscuit) that transgenderism is a disorder. Transgender pride is fucking stupid because being transgender fucking sucks. In all honesty, I don't know why anyone even bothers with HRT or SRS, because with today's technology it seems fruitless. To answer that one person's question: yes, I do personally wish I had been born later and that technology was further along than it is. I think one day we'll have the tech to allow someone to transition from one sex to another, with working genitals and everything, and the person will "pass" in every way and the only way you'll know if someone transitioned is through medical records. But we're not there yet and probably won't be in my lifetime. And yeah that fucking sucks. I wouldn't wish transgenderism on anyone. Whether it's a "real" thing or just psychological craziness, either way it's a shit sandwich.
To me, actually crossdressing and/or going under the knife seems pointless. I WANT to fucking pass. I sure as shit don't want people to look at me and see a dude with lipstick, wig, etc. The way I see it, if it's not possible for me to physically transition and be want I want to be, then the next best thing is to change the mentality. But even that's complicated as shit, and we barely have any understanding of transgenderism. I feel like I'm in limbo: I can't just go ahead and physically become a woman because science has only come so far, but I can't get rid of the desire or feelings of mentally being one for the exact same reason. I can only hope that, one way or the other, I live to see SOME sort of science/technology that will help me out and bring me relief. Virtual reality, maybe? Maybe I should practice lucid dreaming.
So I actually agree with agly and others who say I can never become a woman physically, and that no one will ever truly accept me if I tried. SRS and HRS just don't cut it. Not for me, anyway. If some transgendered people are satisfied with what they got, then great. But I'm not. I want all or nothing. Just let me physically transform and be completely biologically indistinguishable from cis women, or get into my head and relieve me of these feelings of dysphoria/dysmorphia/whatever-the-fuck. But this fucking halfway shit with SRS and HRS and make-up and voice training and all these other hoops to jump through and STILL, after ALL that shit, STILL not passing or being accepted as a woman, can go fuck itself. I know some transgendered people say it shouldn't matter if you don't pass, and to an extent I agree that you should feel good about yourself before what anyone else thinks, but it's also undeniable that none of us is an island and we DO rely on other people and society to validate us and help us define ourselves. Also, I just plain don't need the attention that being a non-passing trans woman brings. I don't want or need people staring at me or whispering about me, to say nothing of openly harassing and jeering and threatening me.
Let me just be a normal woman that looks the same as every other woman and is anatomically, morphologically, and physiologically identical, or let me be "ok" with what I got so I can get the fuck on with my life. I don't care how it's done: tissue engineering, stem cells, gene therapy, nanotechnology, virtual reality, hypnosis, pills, anything at all so long as it actually works. Hurry the fuck up, science.