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Author Topic: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread  (Read 131438 times)

Dem Wypipo

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"

The Watcher

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"
I've come to treat all my relationships(friend or otherwise) superficially now. The mystery of me keeps people interested(I've had family and long term friends tell me they don't know anything about me) plus there is no real baggage when someone eventually ghosts the other.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 01:47:42 PM by The Watcher »
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY</a>

Bitch-Ass Nigger

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"
I've come to treat all my relationships(friend or otherwise) superficially now. The mystery of me keeps people interested(I've had family and long term friends tell me they don't know anything about me) plus there is no real baggage when someone eventually ghosts the other.
this is exactly the kind of shit autistic and boring people do. just stay quiet and hope nobody will find out that they're actually boring and stupid.

The Watcher

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"
I've come to treat all my relationships(friend or otherwise) superficially now. The mystery of me keeps people interested(I've had family and long term friends tell me they don't know anything about me) plus there is no real baggage when someone eventually ghosts the other.
this is exactly the kind of shit autistic and boring people do. just stay quiet and hope nobody will find out that they're actually boring and stupid.
No I'm quite conversational outgoing in social situations. I just don't actually share a lot about myself and stick to inane banter.
Acting Assistant Director of The Department of Corrective Rape
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY</a>

Bitch-Ass Nigger

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"
I've come to treat all my relationships(friend or otherwise) superficially now. The mystery of me keeps people interested(I've had family and long term friends tell me they don't know anything about me) plus there is no real baggage when someone eventually ghosts the other.
this is exactly the kind of shit autistic and boring people do. just stay quiet and hope nobody will find out that they're actually boring and stupid.
No I'm quite conversational outgoing in social situations. I just don't actually share a lot about myself and stick to inane banter.
oh yeah? do the bitches love you long time?

The Watcher

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One of the hallmarks of Gen Yner thinking is that all relationships, friendships, etc. have to be transactional.  So if the ratio of female orgasm to male orgasm is off in their mind, they should be dropped immediately.

 :goonette: "I went down on my boyfriend 10 times in the last month and he only went down on me six times.  Time to sever"
I've come to treat all my relationships(friend or otherwise) superficially now. The mystery of me keeps people interested(I've had family and long term friends tell me they don't know anything about me) plus there is no real baggage when someone eventually ghosts the other.
this is exactly the kind of shit autistic and boring people do. just stay quiet and hope nobody will find out that they're actually boring and stupid.
No I'm quite conversational outgoing in social situations. I just don't actually share a lot about myself and stick to inane banter.
oh yeah? do the bitches love you long time?
Usually for the amount of time that a few drinks and or $300 (+ the cost of a motel room) can get.
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVAp_lcCwyY</a>

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I tell everyone everything about me. The less interested they are the more I tell them.

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I tell everyone everything about me. The less interested they are the more I tell them.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UlmzT2LREc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UlmzT2LREc</a>
This post brought to you by SOUL TRANN

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So now that da' jane is dead, Everyday Feminism is a p choice place to find clownworld ridiculous headlines and articles from dumb broads. Some selections from today:


"How White Americans’ Hatred of Racism Actually Supports Racism Instead of Solves It"  by [[[Jon Greenberg]]]

"This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks"

"The Healthcare Industry Is Failing Us. Here’s How You Can Also Rely On Ancestral Medicine"*


*Editor’s Note: This article is not meant to suggest that readers forego traditional medicine when it’s necessary nor does it propose ancestral medicine as the solution to our healthcare crisis. It’s meant to explore other types of medicine that can be beneficial to supplement with Western medicine.



 :goonette:
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

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That first headline is so perfect I want to have sex with it and then cuddle with it all night.
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I don't want people thinking that lobbying a bunch will get you ousted (because that's really ridiculous and I don't play that way!)...
And again, seriously, do not worry about this.
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OZMA CURES HAM

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"This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks"
I'm sure they view fibromyalgia and self-diagnosed anxiety as disabilities.

The Watcher

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"This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks"
I'm sure they view fibromyalgia and self-diagnosed anxiety as disabilities.
Terri Schiavo doesn't say no  :jesse:
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"This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks"
I'm sure they view fibromyalgia and self-diagnosed anxiety as disabilities.
Terri Schiavo doesn't say no  :jesse:

Just don't forget to eat your vegetables,folks.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1063 on: September 02, 2017, 06:40:17 PM »
+14
http://everydayfeminism.com/2017/08/things-i-wish-white-teacher-knew/

Quote
10 Things I Wish My White Teacher Knew

3. They yell.

And it is not personal. They were yelled at, they yell to you, they want to be heard.

Everyone yells in Black homes all the time. I have personally never been to a white home to witness this, but I think some of your mommas be yelling too.

I have witnessed the legendary white whooping so please stop thumbing your noses at us.





5. They aren’t like all the other kids.

Do not ever in your life think that you can educate inner city kids with techniques that were not designed for inner city kids.

You are not Hillary Swank, and you cannot write us through our Blackness.

You will fail those kids, and you are a failure as a teacher.

All children are unique all the time. Children may communicate and interact in a way that may be foreign to any way that you were ever treated. And it is not a poor reflection on their environment necessarily, but a reflection on you as a teacher to adapt to students needs.



6. It is important that they like you. Especially because their parents don’t like you.

Following up with what we said before, parents, in general, are supposed to be protective of their young. With racism being everywhere, students may be privy to some pretty racially charged conversations at home.


I grew up with a family where there were four degrees between my parents and they referred to my teachers as “that white teacher.” And you did too.

The damage is in the micro-communication that a white teacher does not care about their young the way a Black teacher will.

There is also an unspoken rule of Black people sticking together. That is why parents will request to move their student to the “Black teachers” homeroom. Or maybe a parent will ask to move the student to the white teacher’s classroom because there is a perception of more structure or hostility. I don’t know!

But I do know that your only defense against that type of thought is to get buy-in from your students, who afterward will defend their white teacher vehemently at home.




7. They need you.

Yes, you are their gatekeeper into whiteness.

The reality is that Black children need to learn to behave in a “white way” in order to avoid being mislabeled as ADHD, pre-juvenile, or some other nonsense.

They need you to show them what the real difference between an inside voice and an outside voice. They need to understand that if you do not always say what you are thinking that you are not being fake, but polite. And they really need to learn how to run shit. And yes, we stay taking notes.

The reality is, many of these children may end up working for a white person one day and need to understand our nuanced differences.




8. Their cousins probably won’t do a damn thing.

This is pretty self-explanatory. Stop being so easily intimidated.

Ain’t no one trying to get shot by the police behind some classroom beef. Probably.




9. They fear somebody or something.

If you cannot win the child over with your shiny hair or deep-sea eyes, you need to find out who is the person they care about the most.

Get their phone number and kiss their ass, so that when you call Granny on them they already know that Granny no longer refers to you as”that white teacher” — you have a name and you have influence.




10. Black is beautiful.

This is the most important. I have seen young Black girls pine over the white aesthetic of their educators and it makes me so upset.

Not because I think white is ugly, but because while they complement their teacher’s hair, skin and blue eyes, they are putting the things that make them so wonderfully black to the side.

For example, I remember combing the hair of a white teacher while she inputs grades in her computer and I would compliment my teacher’s hair. I was obsessed with the color, the texture — everything about it I wanted.

The teacher agreed that her beauty was superior with silence. This is unacceptable.

As a white teacher, especially if you are teaching young Black girls, you need to be ready and versed in natural Black is beautiful.

You need to come back with something like, “I wish I could wear my hair French braided for more than an hour.”

You must come with something to remind these girls that they are beautiful, too!

Because the media forgot, their moms who let them wear blue contacts forgot, and the beauty supply chains who do not carry our true texture forgot, too.

Oh, you didn’t know? I am here to tell you. Know it, understand it, breathe it: If you are going to teach Black kids, know Black is Beautiful.




So a feminist pro-black black woman writes an article just to let you know, if you wanna teach dindus:

- They are going to yell uncontrollably
- They are unteachable
- You will be disliked because of your skin so deal with it
- You must kiss black ass endlessly (which will do you no good)
- You are expected to tolerate regular threats to your person as a routine part of life
- You aren't gonna be able to teach them but are expected to be their personal self-esteem coach




At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

HondaRider271

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1064 on: September 02, 2017, 07:07:47 PM »
+21
You know, some of that is actually a pretty good point. The problem is, if a teacher were to tell a black kid "you need to stop acting so black, we're in a white classroom right now" what the fuck do you think is gonna happen? Aside from the social risk, if they're in the inner city they could actually get physically assaulted.

This is the whole problem with blacks in the modern day. They want to have their own separate culture and identity, but if a white person says "ok, I recognize that separate culture" they instantly call you a racist.

There was a time when Mexicans and blacks would try to fit in to white society and be as quiet and polite as possible to avoid drawing attention. My grandma was Mexican and nobody ever would have guessed it, because she trained herself to speak without the accent, dressed in white fashion, had light skin, and accustomed herself to American things like football and iced tea. Back when racism was ACTUALLY a real thing, this was a good idea to help get better jobs and whatnot.

But when blacks and others finally became equals in society, they gave up wanting to assimilate into the culture, and decided that they could act however they want, and if you point out why it's a problem then you're a racist.
Quote from: Ozma
You are doing a good job, don't take a little thing like this too seriously. There are always little drama flareups in forums!
Quote
I don't want people thinking that lobbying a bunch will get you ousted (because that's really ridiculous and I don't play that way!)...
And again, seriously, do not worry about this.
Quote from: Rachael Emma Gilbert
You did a good job for your forum and are a legitimately nice guy

Agent of Aspieonage

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1065 on: September 10, 2017, 11:16:10 AM »
+11
http://takimag.com/article/the_week_that_perished_september_10_2017

Quote
TEACHIN’ TEENS ’BOUT ANAL SEX
Twitter has banned a woman who calls herself “The Activist Mommy” for criticizing a recent instructional article in Teen Vogue called “Anal Sex: What You Need to Know.”

Highlights from the educational essay targeted at non-adults include:

The anus is full of nerve endings that, for some, feel awesome when stimulated….The anus is very tight, and the feeling of having something in your rectal area is unique. It is often described as a feeling of fullness, which can be delightful….That being said, yes, you will come in contact with some fecal matter. You are entering a butthole. It is where poop comes out. Expecting to do anal play and see zero poop isn’t particularly realistic. It’s NOT a big deal. Everyone poops. Everyone has a butt.

Activist Mommy felt this was an inappropriate article for people who are legally still children. On Twitter, she used the word “sodomy,” which is often used in a book called “The Bible” to describe putting penises inside the place where poop comes out. She got into a brief flame war with Teen Vogue editor Phillip Picardi—who bears a passing resemblance to flamboyant theatrical assistant Carmen Ghia from Mel Brooks’s 1968 masterpiece The Producers—who responded with a picture of a gay man sucking face with a black man while giving the finger to the camera.

In a sane world that isn’t ruled by Gay Martians, Picardi’s picture would be deemed objectively ruder and more hateful than Activist Mommy’s corny comments about sodomy. But we live in a Fag-ocracy, which is why Mommy was banned from Twitter while Picardi remains.

By the way, do residents of Gomorrah secretly resent that no deviant acts were ever named after their town?
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Agent of Aspieonage

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1066 on: September 17, 2017, 12:52:00 PM »
+9
https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/09/did-assault-make-you-queer/


Quote
What It’s Like to Wonder If Your Assault Made You Queer

September 16, 2017 by Amelia Roskin-Frazee

This article was originally published on Medium and republished here with the author’s permission.

Content warning: sexual assault, hate crime.

Everyone knows I’m queer and has known since I was in middle school. I’m an activist, so I’ve heard every homophobic comment out there. Almost none of them faze me.

Being queer is a sin? Not in my belief system. Being queer just means I wasn’t loved enough as a child? Wrong. Being queer means I’ve just been brainwashed by my liberal surroundings? Okay, I grew up in San Francisco and went to my first pride parade when I was a toddler so may you have a point, but still…

Yet one comment has always gotten to me: being sexually assaulted is what makes people queer.

I first heard that comment in 8th grade in the midst of starting a middle school Gay-Straight Alliance. I tried to laugh it off. It was ridiculous, right? However, I discovered I couldn’t stop thinking about it. At the time, I chalked the wave of nausea I felt up to anger. But homophobic comments never made me nauseous, not like that.

It was only later I realized the comment bothered me because I couldn’t say with conviction it was wrong.

Confession Number One

My first rape preceded my interest in romantic relationships or thoughts about my sexual orientation. It was my first sexual experience and was, despite the many ways my body reacted, tremendously negative and painful.

For a while afterwards, I found even kissing repulsive, and worked tirelessly to distract our sex ed class from talking about actual sex because I associated sex with fear (much to the dismay of our sex ed teacher, who grew tired of answering questions like, “Isn’t the male reproductive system inefficient?”).

Even though what happened to me was unquestionably rape, it just didn’t occur to me to attach that word to it until long after it happened. Rape was sex, and sex was painful.

As I began to realize I was attracted to other girls in 7th grade, I was able — unconsciously — to compartmentalize my rape and my sexual orientation. I wanted to kiss a girl in a way I’d never been able to imagine wanting to kiss a guy. The idea of intimacy was exciting instead of nausea-inducing. I eventually embraced my identity and soon came out very publicly, courtesy of getting too amped up and personal in an online debate over same-sex marriage.

So, encountering the idea that one of the core parts of my identity stemmed from one of the most painful moments of my life? Terrifying.

And even though every activist part of me knew it was my job to assert to anyone who asked that rape and molestation don’t impact sexual orientation, my stomach kept tensing because I was saying something I didn’t know was true for me. I had no evidence my rape didn’t have an impact on my sexuality. I could speak with conviction, but not sincerity.

What complicated matters, even more, was how I was unable to talk about this fear openly. Doing so could jeopardize my legitimacy as an activist. I still fear that now, I’ll lose my “right” to call myself queer or see this quoted on hate group websites as evidence that queerness is a sickness, unnatural, or can be cured.

Confession Number Two

I wrote an anonymous version of this piece a couple years ago — before I went to Columbia University and was raped twice more.

After the first of my Columbia rapes, it was hard not to lie there on my bed and question if being openly queer impacted my rapist’s decision to rape me. How could I not question that?

What were the chances such a statistically improbable type of assault — a stranger assault at night — would randomly happen to someone who shoved queer rights down people’s throats?

He didn’t say anything that I heard, so I had no idea what he was thinking, but all the homophobic words he could’ve been thinking in that silence haunted me as I showered, washed my sheets, tried to get assignment extensions, and woke up crying from nightmare after nightmare.

It was only after I was assaulted again a few months later, presumably by the same person, that I learned I was, in fact, targeted.

 
When you hear about “corrective rape,” or rape targeting queer and trans people with the intention of changing their sexual orientations or gender identities, your mind probably jumps to thinking about countries besides the United States — South Africa, for example, where corrective rape against lesbian women, in particular, is a much-discussed epidemic.

You don’t think about corrective rape happening at an Ivy League school. So, in the aftermath of my second Columbia assault, I insisted that, like with my first Columbia assault, my rapist didn’t say anything.

That’s not true.

Still a dyke?

Three words, yet carrying the weight of thousands. Three words that made things more confusing. There I was wondering if rape made me queer, and there was someone raping me to try to make me straight.

In the days after, I listened to people tell me about all the things I could’ve done differently to prevent my assault:

Why didn’t you move?

Why weren’t you carrying pepper spray?

Why didn’t you report him after the first time?

But no one knew to ask the question I kept asking myself: Why did you come out?

I knew from my first two assaults there are a thousand things one can blame themselves for; I never expected my identity to be one of them.

But despite my rapist’s best efforts, I’m still queer. I don’t know if I should interpret this as foolproof evidence rape doesn’t influence sexual orientation or more evidence rape might lead to queerness.

Honestly, this piece isn’t going to come to a beautiful conclusion where I announce the part of my brain that holds doubts about the origin of my sexual orientation has finally learned my sexual orientation has always been separate from the rapes that have overtaken so much of my life.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to reach that conclusion completely. I’ll never know what it’s like to be intimate with someone without having memories of rape somewhere in the back of my mind, or what I’d be like today if I hadn’t been raped.

So what is this piece about? Why have I done that whole jeopardizing-my-legitimacy-as-an-activist thing if this doesn’t have a pretty ending?

This is about coming to terms with all the uncertainty: the doubt, the fear, the shame.

I’ll never know for sure if my rapes had an impact on my sexual orientation. What I do know for sure now is for whatever reason, I love girls, and that isn’t going to change. And one day, when I find an amazing partner, the source of my sexual orientation won’t matter to me — and hopefully not to her — one bit.

To those whose takeaway from this is that sexual orientation is a choice:

Re-read this, because that is not the conclusion.

One of the greatest problems with rape is it forces you to question everything, from your culpability to your identity; just like my feelings of self-blame don’t mean I’m actually responsible for my rapes, my feelings of uncertainty about the origins of my sexual orientation don’t mean I was born straight.




:megatuss:
At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1067 on: September 17, 2017, 01:10:41 PM »
+17
Quote
I could speak with conviction, but not sincerity.

Probably one of the best taglines you could imagine for 95% of left-wing activists.

Quote
I still fear that [I'll] see this quoted on hate group websites as evidence that queerness is a sickness, unnatural, or can be cured.

:smug:


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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1069 on: September 17, 2017, 02:03:37 PM »
+20
Ever notice how the dykiest, gayest most unattractive feminists get raped at 5,000x the FBI crime statistics for rape?

 :adam:

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1070 on: September 17, 2017, 03:15:05 PM »
+10
Ever notice how the dykiest, gayest most unattractive feminists get raped at 5,000x the FBI crime statistics for rape?

Yeah, it's likely because they have messed up self esteem and are targeted by predatory dudes. I'm just spitballin' here but these girls have problems saying no because hey, any attention is *some* attention. Then they're in a bad spot and don't feel like they can just say "no, you're a greasy dude go away." They regret the encounter, never move past it and look like prey to the next predatory dude. Repeat until they have a regular gig writing for XO Jane or Jezebel or whatever is still in publication this week.


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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1071 on: September 17, 2017, 03:21:28 PM »
+7
Ever notice how the dykiest, gayest most unattractive feminists get raped at 5,000x the FBI crime statistics for rape?

Yeah, it's likely because they have messed up self esteem and are targeted by predatory dudes. I'm just spitballin' here but these girls have problems saying no because hey, any attention is *some* attention. Then they're in a bad spot and don't feel like they can just say "no, you're a greasy dude go away." They regret the encounter, never move past it and look like prey to the next predatory dude. Repeat until they have a regular gig writing for XO Jane or Jezebel or whatever is still in publication this week.


more like stdh.txt

see also: former Slate writer ( ( ( Emily Yoffe ) ) )

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1072 on: September 17, 2017, 04:00:48 PM »
+7
There is something to what Obese and Triggered said.   :drew: has talked about it before.

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1073 on: September 23, 2017, 02:43:35 PM »
+14
http://archive.is/G9i7G

Quote
I’m a Marxist-Feminist Slut—How Do I Find an Open Relationship?

Another reader asks how to handle a trash-talking comrade in a tight-knit activist community.

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Dear Liza,

I’m a 32-year-old woman who would like to have kids and a life partner in the not-so-distant future. And lucky me! I’ve recently started dating an excellent candidate. But I can’t even pretend to think it’s possible (or desirable) to have sex with just one person for the rest of my life or even, frankly, for a few years.

Monogamy feels antithetical to the type of feminism and anticapitalism I subscribe to. I am repulsed by the idea of being a man’s property. Also, monogamy—like capitalism—requires us to believe in a false scarcity: that we have to struggle for every little bit and that everything we gain comes at someone else’s expense. The kind of liberatory future I’d like to see is one of abundance and generosity and sharing. One of the few places we can experiment with that now is in our love lives.

But ALL the decent men I’ve dated are really opposed to open relationships, while the men I’ve slept with who say they fancy the idea don’t ever stick around long enough for the “relationship” part of an open relationship.

This leaves me feeling like once I find a partner, the options are: 1) cheating (crummy and unethical, also a big anxiety-inducing headache); 2) waiting for the mythical “one” who will magically make me never attracted to anyone else (I’m fairly certain this is a hoax); or 3) retire from my glorious days as a loud, proud slut and gradually wither away inside as I suffocate one of the parts of my life, personality, and politics I cherish most. Please tell me there is another option out there.

—A Marxist-Feminist Slut

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Dear Slut,

Yes, there are better options! With your new boyfriend, treat this as you would any other major difference you have before settling down together: patiently and by tolerating some contingencies. If you wanted to live on the noisiest corner in Bushwick and your partner was happiest in rural Tennessee, you might take turns living in each other’s preferred locale, finding unexpected delights there. Experiment with a period of monogamy—remember, many people are most jealousy-prone early in a relationship—on the condition that he agrees to consider other arrangements in the future. Or perhaps some adventures are more acceptable to him than others. (Group sex only? Dalliances that take place out of town? No exes or class enemies?) If so, are you open to such compromises? And please attend closely to the tone of these conversations—you need to be able to discuss your desires with him without being made to feel immoral, disgusting, or greedy. If such talks give you hope, hang in there! If not, he might not be your future baby daddy.

Which would be so sad! But there are men who want exactly what you want. You might have to approach finding them in a deliberate way, which can feel unromantic. Your OkCupid profile should state clearly that you are seeking open relationships only, and that you are looking for a long-term “primary” partner—no hookups. (Those last two words are painful for a slut to type, but if you don’t, you’re just going to continue hosting delightful libertines with no interest in making a domestic life with you.) A good friend of mine, annoyed by the very problem you name (men into open relationships without the relationship part), recently tried this, with excellent results. Also, find your local poly and open-love communities and attend their social events, where many men are seeking someone just like you. Given your political thinking, I’d love to suggest that starting an Engels reading group will bring the right boys to the yard, but alas, we know better: Radicals can be conservative in their personal lives.

:megatuss:

At dawn I leave the hut. My woman is happy in her toil. When I return from my daily gathering, I am tired and hungry. There is no food or fire, because she has dragged out her ceremonial betrothal skins, and spent the day weeping because they do not fit. And somehow this is MY fault?! And now her family has come to comfort her. They have been with us since Nord has blown his icy breath. If her brother is not out of our hut by planting time, there will be a clubbing!

Trigger Word: Everything

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Re: It Happened To Me: I Pretended To Be A Victim For Pageviews; The XOJane Thread
« Reply #1074 on: September 23, 2017, 03:32:42 PM »
+18
http://archive.is/G9i7G

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I’m a Marxist-Feminist Slut—How Do I Find an Open Relationship?


She's 32, she just needs to wait a few more years and then she won't have to worry about children or men who want to settle down.

win-win (for society)
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.