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Author Topic: Gratuitously Wasted Agent Reviews Stand-up Hotspot (G.W.A.R.S.H., the thread)  (Read 31227 times)

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armchair psychologists seem to generally describe comics as narcissistic and easily wounded - got any insider stories on comics behaving badly?

also what's the consensus on louie - is he a public masturbator or what
« Last Edit: January 30, 2016, 01:22:16 PM by gg all in »

komfi anon

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Please tell us about the time you ate shit the hardest on stage. At a club, college show, corporate event, whichever was your single worst show ever.

Have you ever done morning zoo radio to advertise, like back before you were doing private gigs? Or were you not at a level where that kind of self-promotion is required?

Also do you suffer from depression or bipolar disorder like so many comedians?

Great thread, I love inside baseball talk about comedy.

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I think the only two female comics I've really found to be funny are Sarah Silverman, who you already mentioned, and Maria Bamford - was wondering if you had any thoughts on her.

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Thanks. I met Quinn once, at a Bob Levy show and they were both really cool and hung out and drank with us like regular people.
 Can you write a little about hecklers? Like how do you handle them and what famous comics are best with them. I would imagine Jimmy Carr is on that list, I've seen vids of him shredding hecklers.

When I first started out I had a whole routine for dealing with hecklers, a bunch of shut-down lines and shit, like most comedians do. But after a couple years I got bored with that, and when I'd get heckled, I would just inform the heckler that as long as SOMEONE in the room was talking, I was getting paid, so I'd just sit on the stool and drink and let them go on. After about a minute people would be yelling at them to shut the hell up so I could continue the show. Like this happened a dozen times in ~8 years so it wasn't a super common thing. Clubs are small and intimate enough that it just doesn't happen much. Or didn't to me I suppose.

95% of hecklers are unfunny tryhard faggots jealous and triggered that someone else is getting attention, and after a few drinks they muster up some courage. Most hecklers do it in theaters from the safety of the dark, and usually at famous comedians. I suppose its sort of like, if you are a super famous boxer, everywhere you go assholes are challenging you to fist fights and it gets tiring. Rank and file club comics usually don't get that unless they are terrible and stinking up the room.

Jimmy Carr, Christopher Titus...well honestly pretty much any major comedian I've ever seen heckled just demolished the person. Its a required part of the job, and youtube is rife with videos of famous comedians shredding people.

armchair psychologists seem to generally describe comics as narcissistic and easily wounded - got any insider stories on comics behaving badly?

also what's the consensus on louie - is he a public masturbator or what

Oh yeah, most comics are incredibly depressing people. A lot of them are deviants and  :freud: would have a field day with most of them. Where I live right now (middle of nowhere with no diversity around) I'm a fairly rough around the edges guy for the area. Around most comics I'm a fucking ole Fred Rogers boyscout ass nigga.

There's a book called "I Killed" that is full of really good anecdotes. I posted most of my best ones but let me go look through my old notes and see if I can't remember some other good ones.

Re: Louie

Its all over the map with him. I've heard lots from both sides. I couldn't tell ya.

Please tell us about the time you ate shit the hardest on stage. At a club, college show, corporate event, whichever was your single worst show ever.

Have you ever done morning zoo radio to advertise, like back before you were doing private gigs? Or were you not at a level where that kind of self-promotion is required?

Also do you suffer from depression or bipolar disorder like so many comedians?

Great thread, I love inside baseball talk about comedy.

I actually take comedy really seriously as an artform in the faggotiest way possible, so its important to me to be prepared, so I've never really eaten shit onstage badly enough to make for a good story.

One time early in my career I emcee'd a fundraiser for some dude's hospital bills in some small town and was assured I could be R rated, so thats what I prepared, and I showed up and there were middle school aged kids with their families there, along with THREE FUCKING NUNS.

I threw my notes back in the car and just did playful beige crowd work and told a couple PG-13 funny stories, but it was really mediocre. After that I made sure I could swivel a set from filthy to clean on the spot if I needed to, and kept a set of 'clean show' notecards in my glove compartment. Haven't had to use them again, but at least I'm prepared.

I've done radio shows a handful of times, but not really to promote myself as much as just to hang with friends and be funny. I posted about it:

I was sitting in on some small time afternoon drive radio show some years back, and the host set up a pretty good troll. We sat around talking about what we'd name an NBA team if we could, and just gave generic names like you'd see at some high school, then he then asked what we'd name a WNBA team if we could, and we all feigned like we had no ideas and opened the phones. People called in for a good 20 minutes with shit like the Toronto Tampons, the Portland Period, the Houston Homemakers, and we all acted really offended by the names like we didn't know what was going on.

I asked him why we could suggest names ourselves and he said he could be fired over shit like that. One way you can get away with really non PC humor on radio nowadays is to let the callers be the ones saying it, because you can't very well fire or fine the callers.

As for depression and bipolar, nope. For a drunkard I'm shockingly stable.

I think the only two female comics I've really found to be funny are Sarah Silverman, who you already mentioned, and Maria Bamford - was wondering if you had any thoughts on her.

I like Bamford. She's hit or miss, but her hits are solid.

I unabashedly loved the Sarah Silverman program. It reminds me of Always Sunny a little bit. She lives in this colorful happy idyllic little town where she's a complete selfish solipsistic sociopath who just brings chaos into the lives of everyone around her and never feels bad about it. It was also pretty free from SJW bullshit.

It would be a much different show if it was made today.

Also, Sarah is starting to crack about her looks fading. In the one season she was on SNL, I saw her do a weekend update segment that was a thinly veiled excuse for her to talk about how hot she is (iirc she was like 24 at the time), and the dudes I know who know her talk about how vein she is. Now that she's in her mid 40's she's doing nude scenes while her tits are still acceptable and she's still kinda fuckable.

She is not going to age gracefully. She's gonna Joan Rivers out when she hits 50. Surgeries galore.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


Whig Historian

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I like Bamford. She's hit or miss, but her hits are solid.
I saw one of her CC specials a long time ago. It was probably the only female comic act I ever saw that was legitimately funny. I can see the high-strung voice act getting annoying after a while, but it made the shifts to the confident and polished voices of some of the other characters she was supposed to be talking to really effective.

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When you were younger and learning, did you look back on really old stuff like Dangerfield, Hackett, Redd Foxx and stuff like that or did you mostly stick with who was contemporary at the time, and is that stuff even relevant enough for somebody in this day and age to learn from?
BigDiggerNick [27|Jan 01:36 PM]:   You know I wonder if there are any soap bars made from jews still around

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When you were younger and learning, did you look back on really old stuff like Dangerfield, Hackett, Redd Foxx and stuff like that or did you mostly stick with who was contemporary at the time, and is that stuff even relevant enough for somebody in this day and age to learn from?

Funny story, actually. I cut my teeth on the classics. When I was 8, my dad let my brother and sisters and I watch the movie "Stir Crazy", which was an underrated Richard Pryor Gene Wilder comedy from the 80's. I distinctly remember this scene made my brother and I laugh so hard the a neighbor came over to see what the fuss was about:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLiJAX-MXcM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLiJAX-MXcM</a>

I had never, ever laughed so fucking hard in my life. My brain couldn't even process how funny that two and a half minutes was.

Mom was furious he let us watch it but he didn't care.

A couple weeks later he took us to Blockbuster and rented another Richard Pryor movie called "The Toy", where he is paid to be some snotty rich kid's "toy" for a few weeks. Jackie Gleeson was the dad, and again, this movie just slayed me and my siblings.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imUzDynP6zM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imUzDynP6zM</a>

Look how fucking funny and silly that is. Then later to see this

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE8amlC2rR4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE8amlC2rR4</a>

These may not be all that funny to you, an adult, right now, but it hit my brain like heroin.

A couple months later I was at Tower Records with my older sister with $20 in saved allowance, and I bought my first standup album, Richard Pryor's "Was it something I said?"

I didn't even really know what standup was. I just know OH THIS DUDE IS HILARIOUS! I thought it'd be sketches or whatever. A lot of the album I didn't get, but eventually he broke out into a character called Mudbone who told this long, silly, nonsensical bizarre story. I must've listened to it 20 times that day. This was on a walkman with no rewind so I eventually memorized how long it took to take the tape out, flip it over, FFWD, and stop, to flip it right back over and hear these tracks again.  (I'm really painting a picture of the time here, aren't I?)

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=940OVw2MSwM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=940OVw2MSwM</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBCWgqLGHn4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBCWgqLGHn4</a>

Eventually mom found the tape and trashed it. Some time later I bought a double CD of classic Carlin shit from the "Class Clown" era, and I got to the point where I could mouth along both CDs perfectly. From there it was Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, Rodney Dangerfield, Sam Kinison. I had a VHS tape of Bill Cosby: Himself that I watched so many times it eventually looked like scrambled porn, which means I remember Cosby a lot like a bunch of the women he met in those days.

Once I knew the albums too well to laugh at them anymore, I listened for the cadence, inflection, and tone in voices. What MADE this joke so funny? Why is it so funny coming from THIS MAN, but not funny on paper? Ect. ect. ect.

I got in loads of trouble in middle and high school working on my comedy chops in class. By the time I graduated high school I had like 70 or so standup albums and tapes. A really wide range of shit, but I started a decade earlier with the classics of the time.

In college it was all David Cross and Bill Hicks, then when I started working clubs I got to see lots of new and different styles, really absurd stuff sometimes, and I got a growing appreciation for like, how malleable you can be as a comedian.

David Cross started one of his specials by coming onstage, singing nonsensical Italian sounding lyrics, occasionally forcing an audience member to try to guess the next lyric with no discernible pattern, and eventually scream "FUCKING MORON" at some poor guy. Its such a strange thing to do, but it works. I don't mess with audiences like this, but I've seen guys who do, and its fun to watch.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2016, 03:19:59 PM by Agent Provodkateur »
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


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Yes on both counts. Didn't care for LE, but as a comic and joke writer Mitch is god-tier.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


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Dude. Just email Doug through his website ahead of time and tell him you wanna drink with him. If his schedule allows it, he'll usually respond in the affirmative. Thats how I first met him a few years back.
If he ever gets his faggot ass to the Ukraine then I will! :p

I'm trying to think of one funny female comedian...can't...impossible.

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What kind of material do you do? Has the current cultural climate affected your sets in any way even for private and corporate gigs?

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I cater my act to the audience or the event. I can do a show for drunken frat guys or do a show at a winery for tipsy middle aged women and do two completely different shows. I may not have some super specific succinct style like Kinison or whatever, but I'm adaptable and flexible, which means its easy to get work and I'm confident I'll leave the audience happy.

Drew Carey was a corporate/private event comic for years before his show, and if you read his writings on it, he talks about how flexible his act was. When he'd be getting booked, he would ask specifically what rating (PG-13, R, ect.) they wanted, and if there were any topics they'd like him to concentrate on or avoid. I remember being in high school and reading or hearing him talk about this and it stuck with me. Drew can be absolutely filthy with the best of them. He can also be PG, Brian Regan style. His flexibility helped him turn this into a career, so I took that baton and ran with it as well.

My main goals are to put on a show people enjoyed and continue to get paid to be a comedian. The job is to make them laugh, end of discussion. I don't care to force my politics or views on anyone, I don't care to challenge people's religious or political beliefs, I just don't care to. Not in that context. Plenty of those guys out there, and if you want to go shopping for a comedian who will agree with your worldview, you'll find one. I really don't do material on social or political shit, SS is my outlet for that.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


Private Pile

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My main goals are to put on a show people enjoyed and continue to get paid to be a comedian. The job is to make them laugh, end of discussion. I don't care to force my politics or views on anyone, I don't care to challenge people's religious or political beliefs, I just don't care to. Not in that context. Plenty of those guys out there, and if you want to go shopping for a comedian who will agree with your worldview, you'll find one. I really don't do material on social or political shit, SS is my outlet for that.

How much do you think publicly supporting GWB affected Dennis Miller's career?

I know you're a Bill Burr fan, but what's your take on his rants about alt-comedy?

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What do you think of Steve Sweeny?

Also I un-apologetically like Ron White; ever met the man or worked with him or have any thoughts on him?
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A few years ago Bill Burr was in town here at an O&A comedy show. He got booed when he first came out and proceeded to tear Philly and the crowd apart for his entire set.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jMhoGUiIkk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jMhoGUiIkk</a>

 I thought it was a brilliant move by him and fucking hilarious, and he is pretty much considered a God here now because Philly loves people that don't take any shit from anybody. What is your take on it as a comic and is that what you would have done?
BigDiggerNick [27|Jan 01:36 PM]:   You know I wonder if there are any soap bars made from jews still around

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Drinking with Stanhope is a seriously transcendental experience, and he is who he is onstage. A complete degenerate.

Who is radically different from their onstage characters? I think by now everyone has heard Larry the Cable Guy is a total character and IRL he's nothing like that. Who else is completely different?


Jimmy Carr, Christopher Titus...well honestly pretty much any major comedian I've ever seen heckled just demolished the person. Its a required part of the job, and youtube is rife with videos of famous comedians shredding people.

I once saw Bob Newhart get heckled and shut the guy down effortlessly; this was like 15 years ago and I was just happy to even be seeing him because I never thought I would. Seeing him do that was the icing.
Get rid of the notion that an eleven year old cannot be stronger than you, I had a kid of similar age do this to be when I was 16 and your size. I'm pretty sure he was stronger than me, this kid is almost certainly stronger than you.

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Will Farrell sucks so bad he makes Adam Sandler seem kinda funny.

What's your take on Lenny Bruce?  The comedian?  The movie?

Again, great thread.   Much allreciated.
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How much do you think publicly supporting GWB affected Dennis Miller's career?

I know you're a Bill Burr fan, but what's your take on his rants about alt-comedy?

A lot. Before the alt right came around, when the anti GWB shit was firing on all cylinders and every single person in entertainment was to be liberal or face career death, what he did was brave. I was a shitlib at the time, so I was like GOOD! FUCK YOU, WRONG OPINION HAVER!!! I really regret that now.

He was braver than I could ever be. If you look at his wikipedia page, you can see that from 2000-2010, every single time he relaunched a new project in his career it was shot out of the sky for spurious reasons.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Miller

He's been persona non grata now for too long to rejoin the shitlord revolution, I think. Maybe he's just tired from swimming upstream against shitlibs. Either way, he got fucked.


Bill Burr is right, 95% of alt/indie comedy is shit, just like alt/indie rock. It calls itself alt/indie as a shield against criticism. Someone says it sucks, you can just say they don't get it.

What do you think of Steve Sweeny?

Also I un-apologetically like Ron White; ever met the man or worked with him or have any thoughts on him?

Never heard of Sweeny. I love Ron White. His story telling is spectacular and he steered his career post Blue Collar Comedy Tour perfectly. I've never seen him live, but of all his specials and albums there's not a dud in the bunch.

A few years ago Bill Burr was in town here at an O&A comedy show. He got booed when he first came out and proceeded to tear Philly and the crowd apart for his entire set.

This was a legendary event, and the fact it was recorded is incredibly fortunate. Much like the Bill Hicks "loses it" show.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC0D2l2BPUc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC0D2l2BPUc</a>

It takes a lot of balls to scream at a crowd "HITLER HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, HE WAS JUST AN UNDERACHIEVER!!!"

I do not find Will Ferrell funny. At all. I have only been able to sit through one of his movies, and that was because I was in jail at the time.

That having been said, he would have to be insane to turn down the cash he's been given. What's your take on that? I mean, is he actually funny? If so, can you blame him for taking the money and running?

I think he's hysterical and his comedic instincts are razor sharp. Sorry bro. Even when he's fucking up he kills me.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyMpZTba5Tc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyMpZTba5Tc</a>

If none of this makes you laugh, I dunno what to say, yo. But then again, I hate the Beatles outside of like 5 of their songs so what the hell do I know.

 :jesse:


Who is radically different from their onstage characters? I think by now everyone has heard Larry the Cable Guy is a total character and IRL he's nothing like that. Who else is completely different?

I once saw Bob Newhart get heckled and shut the guy down effortlessly; this was like 15 years ago and I was just happy to even be seeing him because I never thought I would. Seeing him do that was the icing.

The only super famous dude I interacted with personally is Gabriel Iglesias and he was the exact same dude. I loved him.

The Larry the Cable Guy thing is funny to me, because he lives his life like an 80's pro wrestler. All Kayfabe. The story is he was radio talent in various markets, Nebraska and Florida I think, and he had a dozen or so characters he would do, Larry being one of them. IRL he was a yuppie.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqm-vKWEkoU" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqm-vKWEkoU</a>

So anyways, he put out an album as Larry (which had some solid one-liners) and eventually became the opener for the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Ron White. The tour blew the fuck up way bigger than anyone anticipated and he was an overnight comedy star.

But here's the problem.

Larry was originally supposed to MAKE FUN of rednecks, not galvanize them. When he realized that all the people buying his tickets and merchandise were confederate flag waving rednecks, he knew he had the goose that laid the golden eggs, and refused to ever appear anywhere out of character. He even goes on fox news IN CHARACTER.

I know secondhand that he warns radio stations ahead of time that if he is on air and they refer to him as Dan or even imply he is a character he just walks out. He won't even go out in public out of character.

Yeah he's a famous bazillionaire but he's in a prison of his own making. Shit sounds exhausting.

Newhart is underrated by anyone under 50 nowadays, but he had his time in the sun and he deserved it. Rickles, too.

Will Farrell sucks so bad he makes Adam Sandler seem kinda funny.

What's your take on Lenny Bruce?  The comedian?  The movie?

Again, great thread.   Much allreciated.

I have a soft spot for Sandler because I loved him as a kid. Again, if this doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what to tell you:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuMthoAEXJk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuMthoAEXJk</a>

Lenny Bruce was a very important person in comedy, and his influence is super important, but his shit hasn't aged well and has never made me laugh. I only listen to him to understand his place in historical context.

He's far from the most tragic figure in comedy history though.

That person is Vaughn Meader. You probably have zero idea who Meader is. Look him up, his life is basically an epic Shakespearean tragedy.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


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I was dragged to an Aziz Ansari show (the tour where he recorded his last special), and good god that was brutal. I didn't crack a smile. I just hated him the entire time. The very first thing he does is go on some mysterious voice in the dark rant about people recording the show which made him instantly unlikable to me. Yeah I get it but never have I seen a performer do that. Most of his material seemed to revolve around being bad with women out awkward around celebrities and oh woe is me.

I think it was you that mentioned he was an actor playing a comedian. What did you mean by that?

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Will Farrell sucks so bad he makes Adam Sandler seem kinda funny.

I love Ferrell as a supporting player.  As a star or solo act, not so much.  I think we'd hold him in much higher esteem if he took the Phil Hartman route and was the funniest cameo in every comedy movie instead of trying, and failing, to become a comedy superstar in his own right.

That said, Ferrell was great as the third lead in Land of the Lost, but since I'm the only person on Earth who likes that movie, what the fuck do I know?

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Is it true that Bill Hicks faked his death and is now one Alex Jones? What else won't you tell us?  :alex:

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While I don't personally believe Alex Jones is Bill Hicks, you can see why somebody would come up with that conclusion. Young Jones doesn't look very similar to himself now

There is no "knee jerk reaction". You're a fucking idiot. Personally, I find Jews annoying and kind of gross. But the whole pseudoscience/historical revisionism thing is retarded as shit. I know you assume I must love jews, but you know what? I don't really give a shit about jews one way or another. Look at my posts retard. You say I'm defending Jews. But I'm not. I'm not posting about how great they are, how much I love them, how they should be accepted, or any of that. I never have Not once. I'm taking exception with retarded claims that are easily debunked and/or never backed up. I am objecting to the retarded "logic". But every time I do, someone jumps uo and assumes that I looooooove jews. Now, THAT'S a knee-jerk reaction. Pull your head out of your ass faggot.

There is a mountain of irrefutable, reviewed and supported statistical evidence that shows without a doubt that niggers are fucking terrible. As for Jews, there's just a lot of unsupported pseudoscientific bullshit. If you don't see how that is different, you are stupid as fuck.

Ghost of Vince Foster

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PrivilegeChecked

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Maybe her joke was the idea that anyone is getting coverage for $75  :goonette:

food desert

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No doubt some people are getting it for $75, its just you and me footing the rest of their bill.

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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk5EiCLQ9Is" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk5EiCLQ9Is</a>

Relevant to this discussion.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."