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Author Topic: Gratuitously Wasted Agent Reviews Stand-up Hotspot (G.W.A.R.S.H., the thread)  (Read 29321 times)

Soup Her Pooper

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So do you guys think a team of writers put together that cum dumpster fire of comedy or did she write that shit herself?

At this point she likely has a staff of writers who work for her.  However it has to be written like she would write it herself, which explains why it is so unfunny.

couldn't she get someone to write some good shit and claim to be reinventing herself or something like that?
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Slacktivist

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If you have a god of physical comedy like Chris Farley, then yeah you can't really out-write that talent.

But Amy Schumer? Why would an A-tier writer give away good material for peanuts? And it's a lot more likely that she can only find D-tier muh 'giner writers in the first place.

ringer

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Her and Rachel Maddow I don't give a fuck y'all.
To each his own, I suppose, but I always preferred Winnie.

Ghostse

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Her and Rachel Maddow I don't give a fuck y'all.
To each his own, I suppose, but I always preferred Winnie.

:mot:
Let me know when the next SASS spinoff starts.

asip

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Her and Rachel Maddow I don't give a fuck y'all.
To each his own, I suppose, but I always preferred Winnie.
:lilal:

Diane Reynolds

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After watching a Louder with Crowder bit where he timed how long it would be between jokes about how big of a slut she was, or talked about her vagina (I think the longest she went was 2 minutes between talking about them) I strolled over to Netflix and tried to see how long i could last. It was sooooo bad. How did she even earn the title "Comedian"? It was like open mic night down at the local family restaurant.

J Dog

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Like most things in life, its easier for women and minorities to rise above their brethren because they have no real competition.  A male comedian is going to be judged against George Carlin, Jerry Seinfeld, Sam Kinison, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, and so on throughout his entire career.  A female comedienne is going up against.. I don't know, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho and Lisa Lampenelli.  I'm no comedian, but I'm pretty sure I can get more laughs than Margaret Cho.

Excremental Marx

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Like most things in life, its easier for women and minorities to rise above their brethren because they have no real competition.  A male comedian is going to be judged against George Carlin, Jerry Seinfeld, Sam Kinison, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, and so on throughout his entire career.  A female comedienne is going up against.. I don't know, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho and Lisa Lampenelli.  I'm no comedian, but I'm pretty sure I can get more laughs than Margaret Cho.

Yeah, just off the top of my head, here are one of my favourite comedians from the UK area:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suQbTyxjmXI" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suQbTyxjmXI</a>

Not only is he a talented musician, you actually learn really interesting stuff from his comedy routines. He seems to be extremely well read and travelled and has a great sense of humour. Any skit by the likes of Amy Schumer comes off as incredibly embarrassing and juvenile by comparison.

Britain seems to have comedians to fill every niche and taste and I have to say, even their female comedians are above the rest in the world.
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komfi anon

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Her and Rachel Maddow I don't give a fuck y'all.
To each his own, I suppose, but I always preferred Winnie.

Get this kid a Netflix special, stat.

hairsniffer1983

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I met Bill Bailey hiking in Ireland once, nice guy. Music and comedy is easily fucked up but he's a master of it.

Backpfeifengesicht

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What gets me about shit comics like Schumer is that you can have something like the vid I'm posting that's considered a train wreck because Joe Matarese gets kind of pissy and sensitive, and it's still some of the funniest shit I've seen in a long time. And it's just two comics and a radio guy ripping each other and everybody else in sight for an hour straight. They gave Amy an entire "real" stage show to herself and she fucked it up with the same old crap.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT1H-3L86jo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT1H-3L86jo</a>

Soup Her Pooper

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It's weird that I've barely ever seen a bad, completely unenjoyable headliner act in small comedy clubs, but you could go randomly watch Netflix comedy specials and see several
rofl I have a sig

Nate Higgers

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After watching a Louder with Crowder bit where he timed how long it would be between jokes about how big of a slut she was, or talked about her vagina (I think the longest she went was 2 minutes between talking about them)

Was that before or after his segment on how all niggers should hang from trees?  That episode was pretty hardcore.

blasting_asshole

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What gets me most about Shumer is she has some good material. Whether she or someone else wrote it, what pisses me off the most about her is she has a few really killer jokes.

"No girl wants to be described as "brave" when people react to her nudes."
"I'm a German jew. There used to be more of us."

Two examples of jokes I thought were really good, but told by the most unfunny cunt to ever stand on stage.

The first was butchered by a really strange attempt to imitate a stereotypical black guy. "GURRRRL DAT NUDE IS BRAVE, DAWG!" Which was more cringe-worthy than a flat-out racist joke.

The second was butchered by a typical shitty-comedian "WOOP WOOP" please laugh, type of noise.

I've slogged through all her specials with a serious look on my face and the height of my enjoyment being "There! There's a good joke! That would be really funny if it was told by someone else."

This, by the way, explains why there are some successful comedians whose fans ONLY like their comedy. Larry the Cable Guy's fans ONLY buy his shit. Dane Cook in the mid 2000's, same. Jeff Foxworthy in the 90's. Gallagher in the 80's. Kevin Hart now. Some people slog through a shitload of awful comedy, find the one guy who hits them just right and sticks with them.

I consider myself a diehard standup comedy fan and my living/still performing favorites are...
-Doug Stanhope
-Jim Jefferies
-Joe Rogan
-Bill Burr
-Louis CK

In that order. I've slogged through insane amounts of comedy to get such a small list. It's next-to-impossible to find a slew of comedians I enjoy. No idea how comedians make it. Is there something like SoundCloud but for comedy? No idea who to even search YouTube for, half the time.

Stanhope is the only one left I can count on. CK is in dead last due to the poz. Burr is 2nd to last because of the recent poz. The race for my favorite comedian is 100% based around who can be the least cucked and that has everything to do with how funny they are and very little to do with "muh political opinions." It just so happens to be that the more you lean left and pander, the less funny I find you.

Carlin was a hardcore lefty and I loved him. Shit, I liked John Steward and watched TDS back in it's hayday. I seriously don't give a shit what your political affiliation is, but comedy clearly does.

Joe Rogan isn't even that great, but he's managed to pass CK and Burr IMO just because he's staying based. Jefferies was the best I've ever heard and should realistically be in 1st, but his latest special was nothing compared to Stanhope's latest special "No Place Like Home" We can clearly see where Jefferies is headed towards.

Burr's next special will be 100% applause instead of laughter. CK might be a beta, but it works for him. He'll stay where he is, until he outrages the wrong person and then it'll all go to shit.

Tosh is pretty good, but I like depravity and degeneracy with observational humor.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2017, 03:12:42 PM by blasting_asshole »

Pretty Sneaky Cis

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What gets me most about Shumer is she has some good material. Whether she or someone else wrote it, what pisses me off the most about her is she has a few really killer jokes.

"No girl wants to be described as "brave" when people react to her nudes."
"I'm a German jew. There used to be more of us."

Two prime examples of jokes I thought were really good told by the most unfunny cunt to ever stand on stage.

The first was butchered by a really strange attempt to imitate a stereotypical black guy. "GURRRRL DAT NUDE IS BRAVE, DAWG!" Which was more cringe-worthy than a flat-out racist joke.

The second was butchered by a typical shitty-comedian "WOOP WOOP" please laugh, type of noise.

This, by the way, explains why there are some successful comedians whose fans ONLY like their comedy. Larry the Cable Guy's fans ONLY buy his shit. Dane Cook in the mid 2000's, same. Jeff Foxworthy in the 90's. Gallagher in the 80's. Kevin Hart now. Some people slog through a shitload of awful comedy, find the one guy who hits them just right and sticks with them.

I consider myself a diehard standup comedy fan and my living/still performing favorites are...
-Doug Stanhope
-Jim Jefferies
-Joe Rogan
-Bill Burr
-Louis CK

In that order. I've slogged through insane amounts of comedy to get such a small list. It's next-to-impossible to find a slew of comedians I enjoy. No idea how comedians make it. Is there something like SoundCloud but for comedy? No idea who to even search YouTube for, half the time.

Stanhope is the only one left I can count on. CK is in dead last due to the poz. Burr is 2nd to last because of the recent poz. The race for my favorite comedian is 100% based around who can be the least cucked and that has everything to do with how funny they are and very little to do with "muh political opinions." It just so happens to be that the more you lean left and pander, the less funny I find you.

Carlin was a hardcore lefty and I loved him. Shit, I liked John Steward and watched TDS back in it's hayday. I seriously don't give a shit what your political affiliation is, but comedy clearly does.

Joe Rogan isn't even that great, but he's managed to pass CK and Burr IMO just because he's staying based. Jefferies was the best I've ever heard and should realistically be in 1st, but his latest special was nothing compared to Stanhope's latest special "No Place Like Home" We can clearly see where Jefferies is headed towards.

Burr's next special will be 100% applause instead of laughter. CK might be a beta, but it works for him. He'll stay where he is, until he outrages the wrong person and then it'll all go to shit.

Tosh is pretty good, but I like depravity and degeneracy with observational humor.

I really think Big Jay Oakerson is almost about to become a breakout comedian. He's that close, and he seems pretty immune to poz.

Conversely, Jim Norton seems to have double-downed on the whole "I LIKE TO BE FUCKED BY CHICKS WITH DICKSS. HEY! HEY! DID I TELL YOU I LIKE TO BE PEGGED?!" to the point that I couldn't even finish his Netflix special. It's just painful.

... though probably more painful for him, hey-o.

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Bill Burr and Jim Norton have fallen off so hard that it's embarrassing.  As much as people make fun of people like Adam Carolla and Larry the Cable Guy, they just play directly to their audience and that's all they give a fuck about.  Larry the Cable Guy will never have to alter his material to make it more leftist friendly.  He can just make GIT R DONE jokes for an hour straight and he's set to make millions of dollars a year.  Burr, Norton, and these other fags have to walk through a minefield and end up doing shitty because of it.  You can't have it both ways, niggers, you're going to have to pick a side: go full poz or embrace being a shitlord and just have a dedicated base that you can carve a large enough niche out of.

Ghostse

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What gets me most about Shumer is she has some good material. Whether she or someone else wrote it, what pisses me off the most about her is she has a few really killer jokes.

Supposedly Shumer writes very well as part of a team. Its not that she's unfunny, she just can't tell a joke.

I mentioned this before, but Shumer at some red carpet event when she was on the rag (Lol) and when listing off who she was wearing she included her tampon. Which with the right delivery would have been a really brutal & funny dig at the event, at the self-absorbed cunts (lol) bragging about their 10K dress they're doing once, and the reaction of the interveiwer as what just happened sunk in and they tried to maintain composure.

The right delivery was a serious deadpan. Shumer instead gave it with a wooping "Whatwhat" like the drunken slore she is.
Let me know when the next SASS spinoff starts.

Michael Vick

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That seems to be a common theme with Schumer: some of her material could work well, if it were delivered straight/deadpan. Or if it weren't being delivered by a completely unlikable hag.

blasting_asshole

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Shumer instead gave it with a wooping "Whatwhat" like the drunken slore she is.

"Whatwhat?!" "Woop woop" "Say whaaa?" "Hooooooolaaaaa" "Yeee YEEEEE" coming from an "A-list" comedian is like watching a well-reviewed highly certified electrician stick a fork in a power outlet to see whether or not it's working.


It's damn near impossible to understand how it even happens. Is there really nobody on her side willing to be like "Just one little suggestion... You might not wanna..."

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ringer

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I think Schumer's is a great story of dedication and perseverance. I mean, just think about all the naysayers who laughed when Amy said she wanted to become a stand-up comic. But she stuck with her plan, worked towards her goal, and achieved her dream. Nobody's laughing at her now.

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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I think Schumer's is a great story of dedication and perseverance. I mean, just think about all the naysayers who laughed when Amy said she wanted to become a stand-up comic. But she stuck with her plan, worked towards her goal, and achieved her dream. Nobody's laughing at her now.

:kaneclap:


So what's the inside scoop in this story?
http://people.com/tv/dancing-stars-chris-kattan-neck-injury-health-battle/

Quote
Chris Kattan knows he looked pretty stiff on the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars, but his performance is actually astounding considering he spent the last 20 years recovering from breaking his neck.

“I broke my neck and I had four surgeries regarding that the last 20 years basically. One in my back, one through the throat … I had to be careful for a really long time,” the former Saturday Night Live star, 46, told reporters after Monday’s episode of the ABC reality dance competition.


The actor revealed the injury was the result of “a stunt thing” but he declined to share any more details. “I can’t get into it,” he explained.

Is this like one of those inside stories everyone in the comedy industry knows about? The fact that he won't talk about it leads me to believe there must be some legal shit/settlements involved. AoA you got a scoop on this one, or does anyone else know what happened to him?
Get rid of the notion that an eleven year old cannot be stronger than you, I had a kid of similar age do this to be when I was 16 and your size. I'm pretty sure he was stronger than me, this kid is almost certainly stronger than you.

asip

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Owen botched a piledriver

Drinkerton National Shitposting Agency

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Sorry, I've only got insides in the comedy world, so I don't really know anything about Chris Kattan.
Of course, the "proper" reaction is to treat a troon like a five year old playing hide and seek for the first time. 

"What transsexual?  All I see are three perfectly normal sexy ladies.  Aren't no men in that picture that I can see."


J Dog

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So now that Dave Chappelle came out to defend Bill Cosby's civil rights record, are goons going to do another 180 and start defending him again?  Chappelle is several rungs higher than Hannibal Buress on the "black comedians goons recognize" ladder.