The Something Sensitive Forums > Goon Acres

Cracked going the way of SA, SJW pozzing up humor all over the place

(1/293) > >>

cis scum 1.0:
I tend to check them out pretty regularly, often every morning while commuting or getting coffee. They usually have at least one article or two that are interesting, and some of them can be pretty funny sometimes. For the most part they also seemed immune to most of SJW funkill that has been going around on the internet in the last couple of years.

Well, that is, until a little while ago. First article I really noticed that went full SJW :madgoon: was this article '6 sexist video game problems even bigger than breasts' which was filled with feminist bullshit about video games (that the person writing obviously hadn't played, they apparently got so many basic things wrong). Cracked readers overwhelmingly rioted in the comments, the article wasn't signed and they just raged at how stupid, innacurate and full of SJW bullshit it was. I think it's their most commented on article, and even two months later people are still bitching about it in the comments.

Then there was an article about 'problematic' Halloween costumes (apparently wearing a chinaman outfit makes you a racist you should DIE) and another one about the bad MRAs and the darn friendzone and other shit like that has been slowly trickling in the last three months, at a faster and faster pace.

today they've hit overload with not one but three fucking articles that are just ridiculous unfunny uninformative SJW bullshit pieces. First, "7 things no one tells you about being homeless", a 'Quick Fix' called "4 Bigots using 'Science' to further their dumbass theories" and finally another regular article called "4 Friend Zone Cheat Codes (according to the internet)"

The homeless article (epitomed by :christina:) might be the most pernicious one of all, because under the umbrella of 'educating' people, it's all SJW bullshit from a white guy who ended up in that position because of his own damn stupidity. The guy had a contract where he had to spend one week at his job, then he had a week off and went back to his apartment. Three months in, turns out that he gets evicted without a notice. Now, instead of:

1) Suing the shit out of his landlord for evicting them without a notice, which is illegal
2) Using his money to rent a room somewhere

he instead became homeless for months and started to do LSD and live in the woods. what the fuck. The main reason why people are homeless is because they don't have a source of income, which is how they could be able to afford a place and to eat and all of these things in the first place. Not only did he have a job, it was a job where he only needed an apartment two weeks out of four. Shit, if he wanted to he could have commuted four or five hours to get to his job and then back to his new place, who gives a shit? He has a full week off, it's not like he needs to drive there every day, just once every two weeks.

Nope, like a goony motherfucker he went to live in the woods and started doing LSD and then pontificates about how homeless people have it hard and how they don't know how it is like he does.

Stupid motherfucker mentions how one of the first few things he did was to buy a stove to cook himself a meal, and it cost him $150. $150 for a fucking mini-stove. That works with gas, that he had to pay for. I mean, how else could he eat warm food on such a budget? Buy microwavable shit and use a gas station microwave to heat it up? Buy food that he could eat without having to eat it up?

I mean even if you're in fucking between paychecks and don't have the money RIGHT NOW to rent a room somewhere (where you'll only be there half the time anyway) he couldn't just call his family and say 'Uh well I'm about to be homeless, can you Western Union me $300 so I can pay upfront for a room, I'm getting my paycheck in a couple of weeks and I'll pay you then"? Shit, motherfucker could have simply sucked it up, lived in his truck for a week, went back to work then get a place when he came back with more money. But nope, living in the woods and becoming a junkie was the only option.Who the fuck thinks "I am so bored, I need to do LSD"? Such a pathetic excuse. It's not like having an apartment in that town would suddenly means he'd be so busy he wouldn't do drugs. He'd still have 7 days in a row without anything concrete to do. I wish I could see a picture of what that guy looks like, because I bet he looks like a limp-wristed goony faggot.



Quick Fix articles, for those who don't know, are supposed to be short lists of funny or weird or gross things, basically a quick and interesting read. While the four examples chosen there are obviously stupid, it's just fucking outraged 'LOOK WHAT THOSE PEOPLE BELEIVE AND HOW THEY BELITTLE SCIENCE!!' Bet you'll never see 'Trannies' on the list of people who abuse science in the name of bigotry (my womanpenis, my womansperm, cotton ceiling, female brain, etc...)

And, well the other one about the Friend Zone is just about those redditMRAbronies guys and how dare they! I couldn't bring myself to read all of it either, just stopped after I read this in the opening of the article:


--- Quote ---You'll note that I'm keeping this advice gender-neutral, because despite how creepily male-oriented the available literature is, love can go unrequited in both directions.
--- End quote ---

:razor: :dinorage: :razor:

cis scum 1.0:
its not that I care so much about cracked or anything, it just seems that slowly but surely every single website I go to is becoming more and more pozzed up by SJWs, either internally or being forced by outside forces to self-censor in order to not suffer their wrath.

i mean I don't even watch Conan O'Brian but apparently now making a joke about a muslim woman superhero saying she has 'so many more powers than her husband's other wives' is worthy of boycott and flagellation on the public scene.

what the fuck is happening, how the fuck can it become impossible to make jokes about everything but white republican heteronormative american reddit MRA pua bronies anymore?

I half expect that to become the new bond villain at this point, what the fuck is going on and why is everything become so pozzed up so fast everywhere?

Strategically placed watermelon:
Cracked's downward spiral started happening years ago when David Wong became head editor there. David Wong was previously the owner of a site called pointlesswasteoftime which I used to read, it was the same sort of dumb 2000s internet comedy that Something Awful was at the time. He also wrote a comedy horror novel called John Dies at the End which was well received and somewhat successful on the internet for a while- there was an indie film made based on it that was on Netflix for a while.

David Wong and John Cheese are friends and at some point they both became pozzed and you can tell they started feeding off each other. John Cheese is the one who used to be "poor" (actually just a goony nerd in a white trash marriage) and Wong apparently became feminist along the way as well.

I'll admit I found Cracked funny a long time ago but it's been completely devoid of humor for the past few years.

rape priviledge:
Never read cracked.

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0:
I gave up on Cracked a few years ago when I realized it was all clickbait list humor.

HERE'S 6 FUNNY THINGS!
*click*
1. Funny thing
2. Funny thing
CLICK HERE FOR 3-4!

:lolno:

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version