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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 895229 times)

A Nice Solid Bible

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #100 on: November 29, 2013, 09:55:01 PM »
+1
Goons only care about being born with money or into privileged groups.

They all think they are tortured geniuses who should be elevated above the rest of society because they are better than everyone else, so they would be fine with a highly unequal society stratified on innate ability.  This is why they think communism will set them up as philosopher god-kings and allow them to sentence their parents and vapid jocks to the gulag.

The dumbest thing about this line of thought is that the reason some people are born rich is because someone further down the family tree busted their ass to become rich to provide for their descendants. Whether that was an ancient feudal lord conquering lands to pass down to their sons, or some nerd starting a video game empire.

This makes them really mad, which is why you see such clamoring for punitive inheritance taxes that wipe out each generations accomplishments and funnel the fruits of their labor (or their grandfather's labor) to layabouts, and malcontents.

Autistic Yankee

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #101 on: November 30, 2013, 12:42:35 AM »
+1
Goons only care about being born with money or into privileged groups.

They all think they are tortured geniuses who should be elevated above the rest of society because they are better than everyone else, so they would be fine with a highly unequal society stratified on innate ability.  This is why they think communism will set them up as philosopher god-kings and allow them to sentence their parents and vapid jocks to the gulag.

The dumbest thing about this line of thought is that the reason some people are born rich is because someone further down the family tree busted their ass to become rich to provide for their descendants. Whether that was an ancient feudal lord conquering lands to pass down to their sons, or some nerd starting a video game empire.

This makes them really mad, which is why you see such clamoring for punitive inheritance taxes that wipe out each generations accomplishments and funnel the fruits of their labor (or their grandfather's labor) to layabouts, and malcontents.

Yeah the goon hatred of inheritance is particularly interesting because that's usually the only way goons get wealth and become property owners.  Show me a post by a goon saying he owns his own home and I guarantee you there is an 80% chance he either inherited it outright from a dead relative, or his parents helped with the down payment (or even paid for the entire thing themselves).


I've gotten in this argument with goons before about "shouldn't I be able to pass my wealth on to my children and have them benefit from my hard work and sacrifice?".  Goons fucking rage at that idea.  I've seen goons argue that inheritance should be downright illegal and 100% of the assets should be confiscated by the state.  But i've seen more "moderate" goons argue something totally arbitrary like, "well if you are in the top 10% of income earners when you die, no more than 10% of your remaining wealth should go to your children.  If you are in the top 30%, we will allow you to give 30% to your decedents, etc". 

Part of the hatred of inheritance is the "VAPID CROTCHSPAWN"  :librage: and "FUCKING SEX HAVERS" :madgoon: bitterness of the perma-virgin who will never mate.  The rest of it is just the standard envy and greed all goons have of those who are successful.  No goon will ever make enough money to have to even consider making out a will.  "Punish the wealthy for being better than me and making me feel ashamed!!!".  Standard goony attitudes
:lomo2:    :lomo2:  
Chomp!  I'll totally be motivated to get off my ass, overcome my social anxiety and fear of failure and go to college once Bernie Sanders gives it to me for free like a handy from Lomos mom in an Arby's Men's room-I mean a Gender Inclusive Rest Facility.

A Nice Solid Bible

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #102 on: November 30, 2013, 12:50:17 AM »
+4
They'll change their attitude in 20 years when the state arrives to collect 50% of their basement.

Hashtag Activist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #103 on: November 30, 2013, 01:08:11 AM »
0
Why don't these goons give up their bullshit disability claims for these people that are really struggling?

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #104 on: November 30, 2013, 03:27:06 AM »
0
No goon will ever make enough money to have to even consider making out a will.

My anime figurine collection though! :parsons:

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #105 on: November 30, 2013, 04:18:44 AM »
0
Why don't these goons give up their bullshit disability claims for these people that are really struggling?
but its not fair that their next door neighbor has spending money and that they don't.  they need the disability check because they can't be arsed to go out and get a job, they are doing important work to correct wrong think on the internet.  society will thank them eventually by giving them 6 figures a year to sit on their ass and do fuck all.  After all, a rich person has way more money than they really need, and it is immoral for them to have money while goons don't.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #106 on: November 30, 2013, 06:03:19 AM »
0
I can't work because of Fibromyalgia you bigot!  I am literally shaking at the thought of having to go out every day and interact with people.  SHAKING

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #107 on: November 30, 2013, 11:44:20 AM »
0
Self control, self sacrifice, delayed gratification, and work ethic really aren't words or ideas in the goon layabout lexicon.   :stewart:


Quote

Don't pick a fight with Al Franken, this is the guy who in truth should be President. Smart, ethical and generally a good person. And he is a comic so in a verbal war he will make you look stupid.

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #108 on: November 30, 2013, 04:23:49 PM »
+2
Quote from: Gumbel2Gumbel
We've already determined you are an awful human being because you spend a disturbing amount of time yelling at people on the internet about how people (the poors in particular) are terrible, lazy animals who need to be whipped into performing the most basic tasks and need a tough, benevolent eye to teach them how to better themselves and advance

Why, it almost sounds like every argument for colonialism ever.
Apparently wanting checks and balances makes you a horrible human being.

Quote from: WampaLord
We do. Corporates are sitting on record stores of cash. There's trillions in offshore bank accounts that can be reclaimed. Capital gains can be taxes as regular income, we can increase the estate tax, we can create more progressive tax brackets, we have so many fucking options. But no, they earned that money with nothing but the sweat of their brow and not from the government infrastructure we developed (like this whole "Internet" thing, but it's not like businesses rely on it or anything), so it's their legitimate income to do with as they please. Enough to provide for 100 lifetimes of having you every wish fulfilled.

Some hedge fudge managers are making a billion dollars a year in income. A billion. With a B. And there are homeless people on the streets. Fuck everything.
So because some people are rich we have to take away their wealth and give it to everybody.  Not just the poor, but every single person in the whole USA.  Because its not fair that the rich have money and the poor don't.

Apparently all the homeless need is a check from the government that they can cash and they will instantly get places to live and be productive members of society.  All they need is money from the rich.  Oh, and I need money from the rich too, because just as its not fair that the homeless don't have homes and the rich have homes, but its also not fair that my next door neighbor has a bigger television than I do and more spending money because he works more hours then me.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2013, 04:26:35 PM by Babomb »

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #109 on: December 01, 2013, 06:44:39 PM »
0
Quote from: anonumos
That's a good point: the only way to stamp out a Black market is to make it completely unnecessary.

Ah, right, why do we have anything on the illegal items list.  Lets just make everything legal, that way we won't have any lawbreakers because there would be no laws to break.

Quote from: Chantilly Say
The present economic conditions under which we operate are so inefficient at allocating money that many people--particularly those with a large amount of personal wealth--have no real claim to their money being theirs in the first place, so I don't see much problem with moving a bit of that around to smooth things out. If the system allowed people to keep what they earned in the first place, we wouldn't need to be talking about how to make sure tens of millions of our citizens could afford to eat.
Silly me, I thought that when we did work and got payment for it, that money was ours.  It turns out we don't really have a claim to it after all.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 06:54:38 PM by Babomb »

Justice Dredd

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #110 on: December 01, 2013, 06:49:15 PM »
+6
Quote from: WampaLord
Some hedge fudge managers are making a billion dollars a year in income. A billion. With a B. And there are homeless people on the streets. Fuck everything.

i'm sure this wealthy goon who is able to put a roof over his own head certainly extends it to the homeless on the street, and passes on buying needless entertainment like Super Princess Simulator 6 so that he can help the homeless.

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #111 on: December 01, 2013, 07:23:32 PM »
+1
Quote from: VitalSigns
This is a fair point, but I don't see how your solution solves the problem you want to solve in a cost-effective way. Food stamps have a street market value now. People sell them for 50% of face value now. At least if we give those people money, they can spend it directly on whatever they would have sold their food stamps to buy and still have the rest of it left over to live on.

So because some people abuse food stamps we need to give people cash instead to help them abuse the money we give them.

A Game of Troons

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #112 on: December 01, 2013, 08:05:36 PM »
+5
Right, because they're completely incapable of just saying "tough shit."  They see a bum on the street spending every coin in his pocket on booze and meth, and they say "this poor starving soul obviously isn't getting enough money to support himself!"  They can't just say "we already gave you enough money to support yourself but you made the choice to spend it on other things" because that's like saying "fuck you got mine," the ungoodest of all ungoodthinks.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 08:06:58 PM by A Game of Troons »

unprivsplain

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #113 on: December 01, 2013, 08:26:25 PM »
+2
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3582810

This thread is basically dnd.tx. Here's a brief synopsis of what's happened:

Black girl gets shot at night by white guy. Initial reports:
1) Family said her body was found in a ditch
2) Family said she was shot in the back of the head
3) White guy will get off on stand your ground laws
4) Family said she was in a car accident and was looking for help

Here's what actually has happened (so far little else has came out still)
1) Her body was found on the guys porch
2) She was not shot in the back of the head
3) The DA asked the police to gather more evidence before they charge the guy, which the police recommend
4) She was in a hit and run and wandered around for approximately 4 hours

Goons reaction to anyone asking for more details before assuming the shooter was a white supremacist?

Quote from: Talmonis
So how long until we start putting the family on trial in the media? It's clear (to some) that they can't be trusted to tell the truth about what thier daughter was doing there. After all, I know I surely have to justify where I go after dark as a white man.
Quote from: Popular Thug Drink
How do we even know "Renisha McBride" even existed? Until I see a police report I don't understand why I should accept the family's claims that this person was ever born. All they have in the article is what, a photo? That could be anyone. You know how the media has it out for whites, so I don't even think we should assume this shooting even happened until the police confirm that the victim was a real person.
Quote from: Tubba Blubba
So what you're telling me is that law enforcement professionals, a relatively unaffected third party, believe that the shooter may have done something illegal and possibly morally wrong?

Please explain again how the victim's family concocted this entire scenario.

Edit: It is rather amusing how a dogmatically empiricist outlook on inferences and evidence is taken up when a black person dies in this nation. It almost makes one wonder if a racial bias might be involved.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 08:27:11 PM by unprivsplain »

A Game of Troons

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #114 on: December 01, 2013, 08:29:37 PM »
0
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #115 on: December 01, 2013, 09:45:40 PM »
+2
Quote
Only a socialist world order would be capable of preventing cultures clashing by eliminating sources of potential strife like competition over resources, wars between imperialist powers and economic migration. Any Fascist attempt to resolve cultures clashing would be co-opted by national capitalists into an attempt at imperialism and would never resolve the underlying issues of scarcity.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3564268&pagenumber=43#post422422261

Keep in mind Stalin forcefully relocated millions of people purely on the basis of ethnicity, the PRC's skirmishes with Tibet and Xinjiang, and North Korea's outwardly stated pride of a homogeneous North Korean population.  But yes, a socialist world order will prevent culture clash.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 09:47:36 PM by A Shitposting HEGEL »

Oogploont Woozoord

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #116 on: December 01, 2013, 11:33:58 PM »
+6
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.

The best is when they start clammering for mandatory jail time, automobile seizure and blood testing pending charges because this one white guy is not in jail at the moment with charges pending. I wonder which ethnic group  such a law would actually impact/hurt the most? Fucking retards can't add 2 and 2.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 11:35:47 PM by Oogploont Woozoord »

Danish Plastic Bigotry

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #117 on: December 02, 2013, 12:34:33 AM »
0
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.


Only when it's not lynching the latest paleskin offender. Goons believe in an infallible justice system when it's some whitey getting done up. See the case of Goon Hivemind v. Duke Lacrosse.

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #118 on: December 02, 2013, 01:50:02 AM »
0
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.


Only when it's not lynching the latest paleskin offender. Goons believe in an infallible justice system when it's some whitey getting done up. See the case of Goon Hivemind v. Duke Lacrosse.
And the worst part is when shown beyond any shadow of doubt that their dumb ass opinions on what happened are flat out incorrect they don't change their opinion, they make up some delusion that the evidence is wrong.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #119 on: December 02, 2013, 04:16:56 AM »
0
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.


Only when it's not lynching the latest paleskin offender. Goons believe in an infallible justice system when it's some whitey getting done up. See the case of Goon Hivemind v. Duke Lacrosse.
And the worst part is when shown beyond any shadow of doubt that their dumb ass opinions on what happened are flat out incorrect they don't change their opinion, they make up some delusion that the evidence is wrong.

Even if this particular rape accusation is wholesale fabrication, it draws attention to the numerous rapes and racial discrimination that happen every day, so this white male must be sacrificed as a symbolic gesture.  Basically the same thing as Zimmerman.  I'm mad at a whole host of tangentially related issues, so this guy needs to go to jail.

These people will then unironically wonder why white people do the same thing to black people.

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #120 on: December 02, 2013, 09:07:45 AM »
0
That thread can be accurately summed up as a gaggle of idiots with no understanding of the justice system loudly shrieking that it's broken.


Only when it's not lynching the latest paleskin offender. Goons believe in an infallible justice system when it's some whitey getting done up. See the case of Goon Hivemind v. Duke Lacrosse.
And the worst part is when shown beyond any shadow of doubt that their dumb ass opinions on what happened are flat out incorrect they don't change their opinion, they make up some delusion that the evidence is wrong.

Even if this particular rape accusation is wholesale fabrication, it draws attention to the numerous rapes and racial discrimination that happen every day, so this white male must be sacrificed as a symbolic gesture.  Basically the same thing as Zimmerman.  I'm mad at a whole host of tangentially related issues, so this guy needs to go to jail.

These people will then unironically wonder why white people do the same thing to black people.
but whites deserve it because of racism that only whites are evolved enough to exhibit, because we all know how when a minority hates a white person that isn't racism, its cute, because no minority has the power to harm a any hair on any white person's head.  Of course zimmerman was guilty, i once read a story about a white person almost getting away with beating a homeless black guy to death but then this hispanic guy put in work and got the white kid arrested for that.  a white person almost got away with harming a minority, so all whites must be punished.  oh me?  no, not me, I'm one of the good ones, fighting the good fight on the internet making sure whitey knows his place.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #121 on: December 02, 2013, 03:15:49 PM »
+2
Right, because they're completely incapable of just saying "tough shit."  They see a bum on the street spending every coin in his pocket on booze and meth, and they say "this poor starving soul obviously isn't getting enough money to support himself!"  They can't just say "we already gave you enough money to support yourself but you made the choice to spend it on other things" because that's like saying "fuck you got mine," the ungoodest of all ungoodthinks.

Rule Number One of the Correct Opinions Vanguard.
Quote
    1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;


White folks was in the caves while we was building empires!

We built pyramids before Donald Trump even knew what architecture was…

We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it

A Serpico Amongst Mods [02|Feb 10:33 AM]:   (I always agree with BP :smug: )

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #122 on: December 02, 2013, 04:21:32 PM »
+1
Right, because they're completely incapable of just saying "tough shit."  They see a bum on the street spending every coin in his pocket on booze and meth, and they say "this poor starving soul obviously isn't getting enough money to support himself!"  They can't just say "we already gave you enough money to support yourself but you made the choice to spend it on other things" because that's like saying "fuck you got mine," the ungoodest of all ungoodthinks.

Rule Number One of the Correct Opinions Vanguard.
Quote
    1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
Rule number 2: Blame whitey.

A Game of Troons

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #123 on: December 02, 2013, 05:04:24 PM »
+1
No, the UK Megathread actually has a list of correct opinions to have:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Nick Clegg and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Transgendered people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not ok;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
13. ACAB.

I'm surprised they haven't already been extended to the rest of the forum.

Babomb

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #124 on: December 02, 2013, 05:45:38 PM »
0
A lot of those can be found in D&D.

I'm honestly surprised by D&D of late.  Some people aren't getting banned/probated outright for wrong think.  Its still being done, but it doesn't seem as blatant as before.

Or maybe its my holiday cheer thats making me think this way.