;

Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 951596 times)

Ossipago

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 322
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6425 on: July 08, 2018, 01:50:59 AM »
+4

Quote
The incoming president of Mexico is right, living on a first world country is a human right. Even if we have to overwhelm and crash the system by force we'll take what's ours. We will push out trump and his racist base, they will be deplatformed, they will be without a home, our anger is greater than theirs

Quote
Trump can't fucking disband Nato, all of Europe will be in danger, russia will fucking invade the first fucking second that nato is disbanded. People will be driven from their homes, their heritage will be destroyed by Russia, entire cultures will be crushed by their war machine, we need Nato to keep the world safe and to keep the boundaries between the continents secure.

There's no way that second comment isn't a troll.

It's a good one in that to anyone sane it is obviously a troll but in the echo chamber of insanity it will be taken at face value.

anti-pibble machine

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 473
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6426 on: July 08, 2018, 02:58:34 PM »
+5
Even the noble savage fell for Drumpf's tricks  :parsons:

Quote from: Krabboss
On the 4th of July, large groups of Latinx people joined in on the festivities and celebrated the shithole they live in. If they can't escape the American exceptionalism propaganda, nobody can. America has invested too much time and money into promoting the idea it's the best country on the planet for it to be a properly functioning democracy any time soon. The country of rebels who broke free from limey rule, ironically, is populated almost entirely by people who cannot stomach when people question authority. It whips major ass.

Slacktivist

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2761
  • Awards Drinkin' and Postin' Scrooge Goon or Ex-Goon United Statesian
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6427 on: July 08, 2018, 03:06:18 PM »
+17
It's fun to try and imagine what kind of utopia these people compare America to. They always write with such bitterness, as though they were barely scrounging up a living while starving to death in some 4th world country, enduring unfathomable torture after experiencing several traumatic events in a place ravaged by war, famine, disease, etc. The acid in their tone could dissolve even the bones of a body.

Instead you've got some blob bloated on more food than a Human could need in a lifetime kvetching between extended sessions of literally magic entertainment while residing in comfort that would make the kings and warlords of old envious. Nothing in his life is more pressing than the idea that his parents will eventually die and maybe the government won't pick up the bill, or his internet service might be disrupted for longer than a day. That's the "Hell" somebody like Koala is experiencing. Maybe in the past he had a less than perfect family and upbringing but he's long past it. He might be in his 40s, at the point where everything in his life is a direct result of his efforts or lack of them.

How do these people view things in their everyday life? Through a filter of comically exaggerated hellscapes?

Nasekuchen

  • Unperson
  • Alconauts
  • *
  • Posts: 625
  • Awards Drinkin' and Postin' For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Deplorables old The Gentry Goon or Ex-Goon United Statesian
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6428 on: July 08, 2018, 03:43:27 PM »
+8
How do these people view things in their everyday life? Through a filter of comically exaggerated hellscapes?

Lord willing. Its the only reason I hope they don't hurry up and off themselves.  Their sufferings are nourishment.

Dem Wypipo

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3950
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6429 on: July 08, 2018, 04:02:01 PM »
+17
Being a former shitlib and still having some shitlib friends, they envision their ideal society to be some Nordic multiculti paradise where there's UBI so that way their lives are like permanent summer vacation.  Of course, that UBI better allow them to live in a trendy loft in a downtown urban metro area and have enough money to allow them to buy all the games they want but still have enough for craft beer, the latest smartphone, and their latest hauls from ohjoysextoy.com.  This is all possible because kkkapitalists are hoarding trillions of dollars of cash (but it's okay if Apple, who is sitting on $200 billion in cash, does it) and it's possible to derive infinite amounts of tax revenue from the rich.

Anything less than this is tyrannical oppression and they're living in a literal hellscape.

anti-pibble machine

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 473
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6430 on: July 11, 2018, 12:21:21 AM »
+9
Quote from: Travic
So I'm starting to spiral downwards again despite my best efforts and before anyone jumps on me for being sad yes I am looking into getting a therapist. Though chances are the therapist is just going to laugh at me or respond with, "lol politics I dunno."

I ask you honestly, do you really think we're going to pull out of this? Every time I think maybe we might be ok the country dives even harder towards the ground. Americans want Fascism. They're craving it. They will excuse anything as long as they get it.

I'm really starting to lose it and I'm crying all the time. I tried taking a break from the news, but it didn't help.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3851537&pagenumber=3030&perpage=40#post485971464

a torrent of piss

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Grand Inquisitors
  • *
  • Posts: 7819
  • Pineapple and Ham
  • Awards You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great!
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6431 on: July 11, 2018, 01:03:03 AM »
+16
You know I'm reminded of the Moore run of Swamp Thing where the Jackenape infests the home for mentally ill children feeding off their fear by transforming into amorphous shapes. Like one girl was deathly afraid of cancer and the creature became this centipede like flesh creature because the girl really had no concept of what cancer actually was, other than it was deadly and bad.


These people don't know what fascism is, yet they are afraid of it and anything outside of their bubble constitutes as fascism.

blasting_asshole

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 3006
  • Awards Faggot
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6432 on: July 11, 2018, 08:57:28 AM »
+9
Quote from: Travic
So I'm starting to spiral downwards again despite my best efforts and before anyone jumps on me for being sad yes I am looking into getting a therapist. Though chances are the therapist is just going to laugh at me or respond with, "lol politics I dunno."

I ask you honestly, do you really think we're going to pull out of this? Every time I think maybe we might be ok the country dives even harder towards the ground. Americans want Fascism. They're craving it. They will excuse anything as long as they get it.

I'm really starting to lose it and I'm crying all the time. I tried taking a break from the news, but it didn't help.

Remember when E/N did those mandatory precursor statements? Something like "While I realize my life is not as terrible as that of a Darfur war orphan..." followed by a post?

D&D outta have... "While I realize the DOW is up 7,000 points, the S&P is up 700 points the NASDAQ is up 2,500 points and unemployment is down almost a full percent since the Obama administration..." followed by a post.

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2300
  • Head, Dangerous & Elective surgery Mazzoni Center
  • Awards Drinkin' and Postin' old Goon or Ex-Goon cold, dead hands The Gentry Scrooge Better dead than red 420 Libertarian United Statesian
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6433 on: July 13, 2018, 09:56:37 AM »
+4
Remember when E/N did those mandatory precursor statements? Something like "While I realize my life is not as terrible as that of a Darfur war orphan..." followed by a post?



You're bullshitting right? Like elementary boys telling each other that girls pee out their butt. You're doing that to those of us who didn't read d&d.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2597
  • Awards Deplorables
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6434 on: July 13, 2018, 10:37:43 AM »
+5
Nope, that's a real thing that they made people do.

Backpfeifengesicht

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • *
  • Posts: 7604
  • Awards You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! Deplorables Anonymous Methodist For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Goon or Ex-Goon Texan cold, dead hands Better dead than red
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6435 on: July 13, 2018, 01:41:00 PM »
+6
Nope, that's a real thing that they made people do.

Yeah, it was real. I was still active on SA at the time and would occasionally see somebody rip on it or quote a post that started with it. It was a real rule.
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


Whig Historian

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2764
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6436 on: July 13, 2018, 02:23:09 PM »
+5
TBF I can see why the rule existed, the E/N mods probably got sick of "Oh woe is me, I'm not emotionally validated by my boss and parents, life is an endless hollow abyss of suffering" posts and forcing people to admit to perspective could have shamed some of them out of the more pathetic reasons to bellyache.

Ossipago

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 322
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6437 on: July 15, 2018, 02:58:55 AM »
+5
You know I'm reminded of the Moore run of Swamp Thing where the Jackenape infests the home for mentally ill children feeding off their fear by transforming into amorphous shapes. Like one girl was deathly afraid of cancer and the creature became this centipede like flesh creature because the girl really had no concept of what cancer actually was, other than it was deadly and bad.


These people don't know what fascism is, yet they are afraid of it and anything outside of their bubble constitutes as fascism.

mussolini's The Doctrine of Fascism essay is like 14 fucking pages and to my understanding is a pretty authoritative statement of what fascism is (ie in practice countries which were indisputably fascist weren't hugely divergent from what he set out as the theory) yet reading it is apparently too big an ask for someone who'll spend hundreds of hours of their lives decrying fascism

Obese-n-Triggered

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4034
  • Awards Sasstronaut Fucked a lesbian United Statesian Goon or Ex-Goon Better dead than red old Boy Scout cold, dead hands
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6438 on: July 15, 2018, 03:50:47 AM »
+7
You know I'm reminded of the Moore run of Swamp Thing where the Jackenape infests the home for mentally ill children feeding off their fear by transforming into amorphous shapes. Like one girl was deathly afraid of cancer and the creature became this centipede like flesh creature because the girl really had no concept of what cancer actually was, other than it was deadly and bad.


These people don't know what fascism is, yet they are afraid of it and anything outside of their bubble constitutes as fascism.

mussolini's The Doctrine of Fascism essay is like 14 fucking pages and to my understanding is a pretty authoritative statement of what fascism is (ie in practice countries which were indisputably fascist weren't hugely divergent from what he set out as the theory) yet reading it is apparently too big an ask for someone who'll spend hundreds of hours of their lives decrying fascism

The Internet is handy for looking up this kind of stuff. The term "fascist" has been watered down to mean "someone I don't like" rather than the specific set of criteria you get from the original meaning. Same as "Nazi". Anyway, for everyone's reading pleasure, here is Benito Mussolini and Giovanni Gentile's essay on Fascism:  http://www.worldfuturefund.org/wffmaster/Reading/Germany/mussolini.htm

Ze Hate Me

  • Person Of Interest
  • **
  • Posts: 98
  • linebacker in a dress
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6439 on: July 15, 2018, 02:54:09 PM »
+10
otoh, this guy unintentionally makes fascism sound great


Backpfeifengesicht

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • *
  • Posts: 7604
  • Awards You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great! Deplorables Anonymous Methodist For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Goon or Ex-Goon Texan cold, dead hands Better dead than red
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6440 on: July 15, 2018, 02:56:22 PM »
+10
OH NO, NOT TRANSPORTATIONS, ANYTHING BUT THAT
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


Ze Hate Me

  • Person Of Interest
  • **
  • Posts: 98
  • linebacker in a dress
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6441 on: July 15, 2018, 03:01:27 PM »
+8
"arrives in fancy dress worn by grotesques and monsters"

hm, I think I have seen that recently, actually ...






Procrustes

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4737
  • Awards Quieres comprar naranjas?
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6442 on: July 15, 2018, 04:09:19 PM »
+5
"arrives in fancy dress worn by grotesques and monsters"

hm, I think I have seen that recently, actually ...




Jesus Christ

open-source jihad

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 402
  • *Throws GNU-male off balcony*
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6443 on: July 15, 2018, 04:47:36 PM »
+3
Lol.
I like how they had to make sure the camera was close to the ground so you can't see how many layers there were and did a myspace angle to make the balloon look much bigger than it actually is.

♪All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, out run my gun♫
♪All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet♫
open-source jihad OFFICIAL YouTube intro!!! (CLICK HERE)
Tranny kill count:

TO GO TO BED FOREVER

Ass Diamond

  • Unperson
  • *****
  • Posts: 697
  • Million dollar dumps, taken daily
  • Awards TNE Veteran Rethuglikkkan Soldier For Dixie's land we'll take our stand! Wounded in the line of posting. Motorcyclist Texan The Gentry cold, dead hands
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6444 on: July 15, 2018, 05:26:19 PM »
+11
I adblocked that image because it is completely degenerate and disgusting. Fucking filthy commoners

Bitter Weirdo

  • Cishet White Male
  • Space Racists
  • *
  • Posts: 4388
  • Shitposts by an idiot, full of sound and fury
  • Awards Deplorables Goon or Ex-Goon cold, dead hands old Californian
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6445 on: July 15, 2018, 11:35:22 PM »
+3
"arrives in fancy dress worn by grotesques and monsters"

hm, I think I have seen that recently, actually ...




Jesus Christ

Honestly, if a person were a practitioner of violence, where would you even start with these people? They're so incredibly degen that there's nothing a person could do to adequately chastize them for their lifestyle and behavior.

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 2300
  • Head, Dangerous & Elective surgery Mazzoni Center
  • Awards Drinkin' and Postin' old Goon or Ex-Goon cold, dead hands The Gentry Scrooge Better dead than red 420 Libertarian United Statesian
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6446 on: July 15, 2018, 11:46:46 PM »
+11

Honestly, if a person were a practitioner of violence, where would you even start with these people?

Take a page from stephen paddock's book and start from an elevated distant position to avoid the aids blood.

a torrent of piss

  • 5000 Posters Club
  • Grand Inquisitors
  • *
  • Posts: 7819
  • Pineapple and Ham
  • Awards You're Great...No, YOU'RE Great!
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6447 on: July 16, 2018, 12:27:05 AM »
+2
lol that sign on the right that reads anti-Palestinian policies islamophobia and racism.

If you talked to an Israeli they would call those Pro-Palestinian polices that those people want to enact anti-semitic and racist.

anti-pibble machine

  • Enemy Of The State
  • ****
  • Posts: 473
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6448 on: July 16, 2018, 12:47:24 PM »
+8
Quote from: thehandtruck
Trump voters are not good people being mislead. They are bad people who are willing to hurt themselves and others for no measurable gain. Your mom will vote trump next election, or she'll vote for someone with the exact same policy positions but who is "humble" and "nice". She will not have an epiphany and suddenly vote left wing. Part of the friction in this country right now is one-half overcoming their cognitive dissonance and realizing that the other half of the country are actually just bad people. Notice I didn't use the word racist because even though that's accurate they want to hurt their own races as well. They know what certain policies will do to people in their own town, sometimes their neighbors. They are in a perpetual state of spite. Stop pretending they have no agency. Rhetoric like that has concrete outcomes and needs to be attacked on a daily basis.

Quote from: Nika
What I'm arguing is that they are actually acting rationally. (because, again, it's actually more important to them than anything else to fuck over the rest of the country as much as possible before they finally just die of opioids or whatever.)

I'm saying that it's dangerous and dismissive to call these people delusional or stupid. I don't believe they are. I think they're sadistic, evil fuckers who know exactly what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

I'm not even talking about old republicans. I'm talking about everyone on the alt right. Young, old, etc.

They have no direction, no purpose in life, and statistically they are not doing well and they know it. It's nihilism combined with sadism.

bonus: nothing more shameful than a goon son

Quote from: Rotten Red Rod
The thing that pisses me off the most is my fox-news watching former USMC dad will likely be on board for all of this because Hannity told him it's good and Trump is tough on ee-legals so it's all worth it to him anyway.

Quote from: WeAreTheRomans
Your dad is a moron and you should entirely

Quote from: Rotten Red Rod
Financial dependence. I have tried for years to earn more money but wages have stagnated for years while all my bills go up. I have no savings or retirement other than the property I will someday inherit from him.

The entire rest of the family is progressive so he hides in his room with his guns and TV. Fine by me.

The Watcher

  • Cishet White Male
  • ******
  • Posts: 4069
  • Awards Wounded in the line of posting. Goon or Ex-Goon
    • Awards
Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6449 on: July 16, 2018, 01:08:29 PM »
+9
As usual goons or r/politics has nothing constructive to say. When the Muller investigation goes tits up we should do I live stream on discord or something. We can watch the on air suicides live together :allears:
His name was Harry Anderson