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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 963143 times)

Hollywood Shabat Goy Yaro

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6700 on: October 05, 2018, 03:17:30 PM »
+6
My ideal existence is living by the beach, living off of investing, and smoking tons of weed, lifting weights and having sex all day.

What a miserable and joyless sounding existence. You would think leftists would be sex fiend libertines but no they always come off across as dour looking and acting Puritans waiting for death to come and take them.


Quote

Don't pick a fight with Al Franken, this is the guy who in truth should be President. Smart, ethical and generally a good person. And he is a comic so in a verbal war he will make you look stupid.

Quote
Thanks Maureen. I've been dealing with that pedantic argument of not being able to spell makes me an idiot since grade school. I'm autistic with a 130+ iq who writes a graphic novel about sex abuse and with an obsession about pshycology to the point I'm more informed than my therapists about current news.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6701 on: October 05, 2018, 07:30:37 PM »
+11
OP is unintentional comedy gold.

Quote
Even if you don't agree with Prester Jane's theories, insulting her based on mental health issues is out of line and says bad things about you. Posters have been continually singling her out in demeaning and dismissive ways, and it's gross.

Quit whining about Koalas March's gifs. It's pathetic and completely transparent.

We've got to respect what the insane person thinks about how to govern other people! And being such a vapid brain dead spirit nigger you need a personal rule for protection, congratulations KM!

Quote from: Skex
That's because Republican's are natural authoritarians their innate fear pushes them towards conformity. The Left isn't the same so the same tactics won't work the way they do for Republicans.

Seriously do you really not get that Conservatives and Liberals don't just disagree about ideas, we have fundamentally different value systems, different core drives. Conservatives are conformists who's primary motivating drive is fear. They fear change, they fear uncertainty they fear the new. Everything they do comes from that place of fear. It's not rational, it's not reasoned it's how they are wired. I don't know if it's genetic and innate or a result of conditioning but there is actual fucking scientific data showing that there are differences in how our brains are structured.

Lefties are less fearful, more hopeful more forward looking and optimistic. We are excited by new things and relish uncertainty and the opportunities that it represents.

People who think that the way forward for the Left is to emulate the Right are working on a faulty premise that the only difference between liberals and conservatives comes down to the policies we support. Has it completely escaped your notice that Republican's change positions regularly? That part of the reason that the 3rd way triangulation bullshit doesn't work is precisely because conservative positions aren't based on a fundamental ideology beyond "Liberals are bad and scary so anything they propose must be opposed".

The way to get the left together is to find our points of commonality and that is our hope for a better future, our empathy and caring for others. It's quite literally where the Right attacks us and the way to win is to stop letting them dictate the terms of engagement.

A whopper here. I wonder how this intellectual would feel about evidence that there are differences in brain structure and genetics between men and women, or various races? But there's fucking scientific data that shows the conservatives cannot be reasoned with!

Quote from: Kith
I feel like shit after today's events. I need a break and don't trust myself to take one, so could someone please grace me with a 24-hour probe please

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Quote from: EdithUpwards
No, seriously, how long until Trump has political opponents killed?

Quote from: J.B. CURES KANSAS
This is a good way of putting it. We might reach the point where we direct violence in their direction, but in the meantime directing anger at them (not to say being angry at them which is a different thing) is pointless.

MORE HOPEFUL, LESS FEARFUL

Quote from: LionArcher
Civil war no but I could see a mob taking over the White House and senate.

Quote from: Unzip and Attack
The police will fire on the crowd and massacre citizens before they allow this to happen. The police culture has been gearing up for this sort of scenario for decades and many cops would relish the chance.

Quote from: LionArcher
At which point the next group would be armed and fire back at the cops. It would be a total blood bath (police would win,) and at that point nobody in the government would be safe to go anywhere without a parade of armed guards. Likelihood of this happening? I’m not sure anymore. Depends on what happens in November, depends on if trump loses in 2020 and actually excepts the loss

Quote from: Darko
A lot of what people are missing at this point (although a few other people in the thread alluded to it), is that this country needs revolution, and you typically need a fear of violent uprising for large revolutions to happen. The Civil Rights movement didn't kind of work because MLK was giving nice kumbaya speeches; it was because white people started getting scared because groups like the Panthers were on the rise and more and more uprisings happened. So then, they were just like "what MLK was saying sounds a lot better for us than the alternative." Working within the system is often combined with working outside of the system for effective change, because the contrast of *peaceful* change is always preferable.

That is because, when it all comes down to it, racists and sexists and homophobes are actually SCARED inside; moreso than the average minority or someone who lived their lives already under the conditions the same people are scared of.

Our enemies are Nazis who will draft up the anti-LGBT concentration camps any day now. We cannot be sure Donald Trump will accept his inevitable loss in 2020 and leave peacefully. It is possible that with the aid of Russian Secret Agents he is already assassinating inconvenient figures. But remember, conservatives are the fearful ones, claim the liberals who are talking the hard game of terrorizing the enemy to the point of yielding successful progressive policies. There's a lot of recurring chat across the pages that it's super cool to stalk and terrorize politicians that aren't voting in ways you like. Just mob them in public, nobody will go too far, this is very civilized. Also the Civil Rights movement only worked because of the Panthers. It is not possible to accomplish anything politically and civilly. Please disregard whatever the fuck happened from 2008-2016. The only option is inevitable violence. Conservatives are ruled by their fear, claim mass of movie theater projectors desperate for other people to murder everybody they disagree with.

:popcorn:

Quote from: readingatwork
Five years ago I’d have agreed with this but after 2016 I’ve watched the left do all the same shit the Republicans did during the Obama years from groupthink to pedaling conspiracy theories to outright lying for political gain so no, I don’t agree that we’re any inherently better than the right.

:noice:
« Last Edit: October 05, 2018, 07:35:22 PM by Slacktivist »

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6702 on: October 05, 2018, 08:13:51 PM »
+3
Still waiting for the Fema death camps, and now there's Queer Death Camps in the queue now? This is worse than kickstarter, the government can't fund shit. Meanwhile those Mexican kids got their detainee themepark right off the bat.

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6703 on: October 05, 2018, 10:11:21 PM »
+4
Quote
That's because Republican's are natural authoritarians their innate fear pushes them towards conformity. The Left isn't the same so the same tactics won't work the way they do for Republicans.

Seriously do you really not get that Conservatives and Liberals don't just disagree about ideas, we have fundamentally different value systems, different core drives. Conservatives are conformists who's primary motivating drive is fear. BTW, if you disagree with this or any other OBJECTIVELY CORRECT, RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY positions, you will be banned and doxxed and fired IRL, you wrongthinking, gross, shitlord.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6704 on: October 05, 2018, 11:01:25 PM »
+3
This is basically Alterac Valley chat IRL.

My side always loses because the other side is better. Behold a list of reasons that I have pulled from my ass.

walrus rape strategy

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6705 on: October 05, 2018, 11:35:34 PM »
+5

Quote from: Skex
Lefties are less fearful, more hopeful more forward looking and optimistic. We are excited by new things and relish uncertainty and the opportunities that it represents.
...
The way to get the left together is to find our points of commonality and that is our hope for a better future, our empathy and caring for others. It's quite literally where the Right attacks us and the way to win is to stop letting them dictate the terms of engagement.

Quote from: J.B. CURES KANSAS
This is a good way of putting it. We might reach the point where we direct violence in their direction, but in the meantime directing anger at them (not to say being angry at them which is a different thing) is pointless.

We could have a utopia where no one would need weapons and people of all races would hold hands and sing kumbaya if we just KILLED ALL OF THE CONSERVATIVES :madgoon:

Quote from: LionArcher
At which point the next group would be armed and fire back at the cops. It would be a total blood bath (police would win,) and at that point nobody in the government would be safe to go anywhere without a parade of armed guards. Likelihood of this happening? I’m not sure anymore. Depends on what happens in November, depends on if trump loses in 2020 and actually excepts the loss

Nigga it's 2018 and there's a large number of liberals that still haven't accepted that Trump won in 2016. Glass houses.



Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6706 on: October 06, 2018, 12:28:17 AM »
+5
Oh brave lefties, hallowed creators of Safe Spaces, your courage stands firm. Let not he who would invoke power word: nigger defile your domain, as breaking down into tears is not a good look for those without fear.

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6707 on: October 06, 2018, 02:48:37 AM »
+9
Quote from: Koalas March
Lol my gig fell through, my phones off and this shit just happened fuck everything

If I had money I'd go get blind drunk goddamn I hate this country I hope everyone who pulled the lever for Trump gets disappeared like The Leftovers

Quote from: KillHour
I went to Candy Bar and Wright & Co. Yesterday. Both are A+ establishments for getting blind drunk and near the people mover. PM me and I will donate to the "Get KM drunk" PAC.

Quote from: Koalas March
Can we do the Get KM's Phone Bill paid PAC instead? There's a gig I'm waiting to hear back from and some I want to apply for and having my phone off is giving me a lot of fucking anxiety.

Quote from: Tatsuta Age
Setup Google Voice; if your phone is dead/offline, it'll ring through to your Gmail account.

Quote from: Koalas March
I actually tried doing that this morning to get my meds refilled and for whatever reason I still got the message from Boost Mobile saying I couldn't make calls. I downloaded Dingtone and that works, but if I'm out of the house (I run a lot of errands for my mom/grandmother) I'm boned. It's definitely better than nothing though

She must've been getting desperate since nobody bit in her gimmedats thread 4 days ago.

Quote from: Koalas March
I am just here to vent because my phone's about to get turned off and I tried hitting up some people for gigs (actor friends are good for this because they always need updated reels and borrowing lighting etc for video auditions in exchange for a bit of cash) but it's a no go

On the upside I'm meeting a producer on Saturday about a gig if my stupid fucking respiratory virus will be gone by then.

« Last Edit: October 06, 2018, 03:12:38 AM by anti-pibble machine »

Trigger Word: Everything

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6708 on: October 06, 2018, 03:06:45 AM »
+6
Hmm that Leftovers thing might not be so bad.  An entire world with nothing but Trump voters but the same exact infrastructure we have now.  Meanwhile most of the US military, cops, etc disappear from the US and only liberals and other cucks are left.  I think I'd take mostly empty Trumpworld thanks.
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.

Whig Historian

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6709 on: October 06, 2018, 05:04:05 AM »
+11
Quote from: Koalas March
Boost Mobile
Because of course.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6710 on: October 06, 2018, 06:39:38 AM »
+2
What kind of gigs is she talking about?
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6711 on: October 06, 2018, 08:51:05 AM »
+6
Quote from: Taffer" post="488633370
For a small positive break from Dems are a waste chat:

I have a good friend who, prior to Trump was a proud Republican/Libertarian. He grew up in isolated evangelical circles like me, so this is understandable. Trump, however, shook him pretty hard. He ceased calling himself a republican and switched to "conservative". Over the course of the last 2 years, thanks to lots of prodding from the left from me and others, he went to "conservative democrat". He still had soft-spots for the "good" republicans, notably McCain(not a political junkie, so thinking McCain was "good" can be excused).

But the Kavanaugh debacle has shook him really hard, he's now solidly dem. Not only that, but he's starting to strongly support leftist ideas and is a huge fan of people who call themselves socialist, notably Bernie and AOC. Court packing from the left is something he wants. The sheer brashness of the republicans in the past few weeks have nearly annihilated all his core conservative ideas and he wants to fight. Even expressed a lot of frustration with how inequal representation is with the senate. He's cutting his Trump-loving dad out of his life.

So, don't give up. It's working. People are waking up and getting mad, they want more than just new people to elect, they want serious structural reform, they want an America that works completely differently, and works for everyone, especially women and minorities.

Don't give up hope. It's going to be really hard, but it's worth it. We're all pissed about the last few weeks, but don't forget that there is a big silver lining - this got people extremely mad, from my perspective (maybe it's a bubble) even more mad than when Trump got elected, which caused mostly just despair. Mad people vote and demand action. Lets turn this shitty situation into a serious catalyst for change.

Aran

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6712 on: October 06, 2018, 09:46:59 AM »
+13
That person is fictional

Backpfeifengesicht

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6713 on: October 06, 2018, 11:28:20 AM »
+9
That person is fictional

There are people who stopped calling themselves Republicans or Conservatives since Trump declared he was running for president. Of course, we're basically Satan to D&D types and we stopped using those dead and gay labels because we went further right, but we exist.
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


Whig Historian

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6714 on: October 06, 2018, 12:18:41 PM »
+13
There are people who stopped calling themselves Republicans or Conservatives since Trump declared he was running for president.
The funny thing in the context of the D&D stdh.txt above is that Kavanaugh has actually brought some of the NeverTrumpers back into the fold. Eric Erickson is saying that he can now see himself voting for Trump in 2020, and Heebmaster General Bret "America belongs first and foremost to its most recent immigrants" Stephens is actually grudgingly admitting that Trump's personality was vital to success here. W was making the rounds in support of Kavanaugh, and may have been a major factor in getting Collins onboard, so Trump and the Bushes have shown they can set aside differences over ¡Jeb! to get things done. The RINOs have suddenly become outspoken defenders of important civic principals.

All because the Dems were incapable of not being pathetic, transparently disingenuous jackasses for even 5 minutes, and this reminded everyone on the right of what could happen if we let infighting get in the way.

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6715 on: October 06, 2018, 01:48:37 PM »
+14


Quote from: KillHour
I saw that shit and immediately decided I'm switching to MSNBC. I was avoiding it because I didn't want to get ALL my news from lefty sources, but at this point there is a legitimate party and an illegitimate one and I'll be damned if I waste my time listening to propaganda.

Procrustes

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6716 on: October 06, 2018, 02:14:53 PM »
+10
Lol god damn

Ass Diamond

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6717 on: October 06, 2018, 02:25:52 PM »
+8
Lol god damn

JFC its like herding cats on fire

unprivsplain

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6718 on: October 06, 2018, 03:36:24 PM »
+6
That person is fictional

Just imagine a guy that is from an area that has a church and is nearly completely apolitical. Then the story comes together.


Quote from: Koalas March
I am just here to vent because my phone's about to get turned off and I tried hitting up some people for gigs (actor friends are good for this because they always need updated reels and borrowing lighting etc for video auditions in exchange for a bit of cash) but it's a no go

On the upside I'm meeting a producer on Saturday about a gig if my stupid fucking respiratory virus will be gone by then.

There are few things more nigger tier than your cell phone getting cut off
« Last Edit: October 06, 2018, 03:38:39 PM by unprivsplain »

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6719 on: October 06, 2018, 05:05:04 PM »
+9
Quote from: Koala's Massacre
Not just angry, but hateful and spite filled.

Too many people forget or can't grasp that the majority of people in the GOP specifically want to hurt other human beings.

Said without a hint of irony, bolding hers and with a new user name to reflect that this fibromyalgia victim will be cracking a few Nazi skulls sooner rather than later! As long as it's not too hot out and you donate to sponsor an Uber for her!

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6720 on: October 06, 2018, 05:11:55 PM »
+4
Koala's Massacre?

What, you couldn't bother to go after the Emus in order to finish what you started and instead targeted another species that are completely unrelated? Some real George Bush levels of logic here.

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6721 on: October 06, 2018, 05:17:04 PM »
+5
Thank God KM got her IUD before Trump was elected so her white goony boyfriend could blow loads in her without consequence!

Some random quotes

Quote from: areyoucontagious
It’s like, I’m not planning on doing anything, but it’s suddenly become really crystal clear on how and why people become radicalized. It’s startling to me just how angry I am over this stuff.

Quote from: Ginette Reno
I'm sorry for anyone having to relieve their trauma today. As a white dude, I can't imagine what that feels like.

I hope better days are ahead. I'm an optimistic person and I believe these fucks will get a reckoning. And I hope it's women that are at the forefront of that.

Quote from: Ars Arcanum
Time to rebrand Never Forget for the time a pasty crybaby misogynistic fuckface who’s probably a serial sexual assaulter to the highest court in the land...in 2018.

Quote from: Eeyo
Wow, a sexual assaulter with the temperament of a toddler is now on the supreme court. I guess it's time to fight even harder. I'm definitely guilty of not giving enough, but since I'm between jobs now I have plenty of time to lend a hand.

Quote from: Chilichimp
I can't even tell my wife.

I know she's gonna find out sooner or later from John Oliver or something, but she deserves another day.

Jace821

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6722 on: October 06, 2018, 05:22:30 PM »
+7
Thank God KM got her IUD before Trump was elected so her white goony boyfriend could blow loads in her without consequence!

Some random quotes

Quote from: areyoucontagious
It’s like, I’m not planning on doing anything, but it’s suddenly become really crystal clear on how and why people become radicalized. It’s startling to me just how angry I am over this stuff.

Quote from: Ginette Reno
I'm sorry for anyone having to relieve their trauma today. As a white dude, I can't imagine what that feels like.

I hope better days are ahead. I'm an optimistic person and I believe these fucks will get a reckoning. And I hope it's women that are at the forefront of that.

Quote from: Ars Arcanum
Time to rebrand Never Forget for the time a pasty crybaby misogynistic fuckface who’s probably a serial sexual assaulter to the highest court in the land...in 2018.

Quote from: Eeyo
Wow, a sexual assaulter with the temperament of a toddler is now on the supreme court. I guess it's time to fight even harder. I'm definitely guilty of not giving enough, but since I'm between jobs now I have plenty of time to lend a hand.

Quote from: Chilichimp
I can't even tell my wife.

I know she's gonna find out sooner or later from John Oliver or something, but she deserves another day.

What a surprise a d&d goon is “between jobs” with the unemployment rate at all time lows.

MY FURSONOUNS

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6723 on: October 06, 2018, 05:33:05 PM »
+9
image being so easily swayed by media narratives that you think you're actually feeling anger

pathetic
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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #6724 on: October 06, 2018, 05:34:08 PM »
+6
THEYRE LITERALLY FUCKING VOLDERMORT

didnt you ass wholes READ harry potter?

hes the BAD GUY!
nah im a
white wow