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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 965430 times)

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7150 on: December 06, 2018, 03:02:08 PM »
+7
Quote from: Mendrian
Imagine if the Presidency was filled by nothing but popular vote, no state considers, no EC, just raw popular number.

It'd basically be 'President poor people' forever and it would be awesome.

In light of the fact that it isn't, the fact that Obama managed to instill hope in America at a time where we were just about ready to commit national suicide after the Bush years really should be a testament to him.

Like we can talk about his shitty policies, and he had a lot of them, but he was a good man and a good president. The president's first job is to represent and rally the people, and he was very good at that. When he opened his mouth and words came out I didn't think, 'Oh god, he's about to get us all killed' literally every time. I trusted him to talk to the UN and foreign countries, I trusted him after national and international tragedies.

Obama was not far left enough, and that's true. But god damned if people aren't just flatly ignoring his strengths and the importance of his election.

"What if we just elected the guy who promised two lunches and no homework every time?"

Quote from: VH4Ever
Meh, subtract his charisma and he's a two term Carter. Saying "he was better than what was up to that point the most useless President in the post-WW2 age and got thousands killed on 9/11 plus thousands more on a war based entirely on lies and bullshit, a war we're STILL FIGHTING RIGHT NOW and btw who lit the economy on fire before peacing out to paint stuff" isn't a "strength." Just like any subsequent president who doesn't wander off during bill signings and mix word salad on Twitter on the shitter every morning shouldn't have not doing those things listed as their "strengths." His election was very important but history will show his presidency was less so.

UHHH MODS???

Quote from: Retro42
This thread was more entertaining when the slapfight was about Hillary/Bernie.

If we all liked everything Obama did as POTUS, odds are he wouldn’t have accomplished anything substantive in office. Part of the job description is making tough choices that almost certainly the people who voted for you will hate but are still the best option available.

Quote from: kidkissinger
Continuing and expanding the war crime programs of your predecessor wasn't "the best option available" lmao

Quote from: Condiv
letting the banks off the hook for their crimes was not the best option available

Nothing short of total socialism is acceptable and history rewriting will soon see Obama as no different than the other enemies of the goon elite.

Quote from: Vintersorg
You're an ungrateful wretch if you shit on Obama.

Enjoy Trump.

It must be no fun at all to be liberal or democrat these days. Everywhere you turn your allies are getting ready to eat you alive or to rewrite your history so that you never really were an ally or some other crazy shit.

Quote from: volts5000
Did nobody choke up when Bob Dole was helped up out of his wheelchair and saluted a fellow WWII soldier’s casket? Maybe it’s just me, but I have a high standard of “not crying at your funeral because of how I feel about you”. It’s personal for everyone. Give people a break.

Quote from: Condiv
he's a republican...

It's wrong how the alt-right tries to dehumanize us and fuck you if you show some human decency and respect to those subhuman republicans!

Quote from: Gorson
Dole was a "greatest generation" republican, so while most of his policies were trash he was a human being. These things the GOP are rolling out there now are nothing like the people from that generation and should not be considered human beings.

Subhumans!

Quote from: Lightning Knight
You’re being really gross and dismissive about her background and insisting that she cannot possibly be in any way qualified to do a job that is primarily picking out good administrators and looking good for the camera,

Quote from: VitalSigns
I base my assessment that she would choose better advisers than most presidents on the clear moral vision and real-world experience she has

I can't believe this is the line of cultist groupthink they've embraced. AOC is the most qualified woman for the job because her irreplaceable experience as a bartender makes her a master diplomat able to read people's true souls like Jesus himself.

:burnslol:

Quote from: Crow Jane
Kotex, have you ever worked food service, or any other public-facing job? It's basically a crash course in diplomacy.

Quote from: TulliusCicero
Holy shit this

I learned more about dealing with people and their shit from being a host than any of my education classes. If you can't put on a happy face while still getting shit done, you will get eaten alive by customers and management.

Everyone should have to work at least a year in public service to see what that misery is like.

Fucking goons.txt.

Quote from: MSDOS KAPITAL
Ideology is the most important thing about any candidate for any office, with authenticity being a close second. AOC probably places in the top five for ideology in the House, if not the winner, and while we haven't had much of a chance to gauge her authenticity yet, all indications are she's going to be pretty solid on that front as well. If you're "well actually"ing about experience or whatever else given the current state of things and what "experience" has actually gotten us then fuck completely off.

Get this woman in the White House the instant she's Constitutionally eligible, or sooner if we can get away with it.

Quote from: StrangersInTheNight
If someone as inexperienced as Trump can make it through 4 years of a presidency, AOC will be fine

It's funny how our obsession with experience is heightened when it comes to female politicians and POC

How about let AOC show what she can do instead of revealing how you pretty clearly think those who do serving work are of a lower social class that needs to have their hands held for them, despite the fact that actually THEY are actually the ones holding your dumb spoiled hand and are just good enough at their jobs you didn't realize it.

Quote from: skylined!
Equating ‘Able to pick out a con artist’ and ‘has insider knowledge on something she has previously not had access to’ is pretty disingenuous.

She seems pretty capable at sizing people up so far.

"Have you seen her sick twitter burns?"

Quote from: WoodrowSkillson
yeah, but for the most parts its been minor slip ups and getting raked over the coals for saying something slightly wrong. she'll get way better as time goes on, especially now that she can fully devote herself to governing and becoming an expert on these topics.

Can you imagine a montage of AOC hitting the books like a political science PhD?

Quote from: The Super-Id
She's un-apologetically spoken up about the right issues (and people are listening) and she's also not an old white dude. Just because of this she has already done more for me than pretty much any other politician. Though I will get more excited for her as a potential president when that potential passes more into the realm of possibility.

"I don't think it's right to judge people based on things outside of their control or to negatively judge people based on superficial visual traits like their race and gender. Now let me tell you about how AOC is a political wunderkind in the making because she's brown and has a vagina."

"Just because of this she has already done more for me than pretty much any other politician." I never imagined I could live in a world where a brown woman gets diversity hired! Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.

Some spoilers for you if you're sincerely wondering what AOC's odds are of being the secret best politician who is totally immune to everything involved with being a politician:

Quote from: Shimrra Jamaane
I’m intensely interested in seeing the general reaction to the first time AOC does something to disappoint people.

Quote from: Stexils
that already happened when she walked back her remarks calling israel firing on civilians a massacre.

Quote from: BarbarianElephant
AOC will disappoint you all, because your standards are perfection, and perfection is defined as being a Marxist revolutionary.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7151 on: December 06, 2018, 03:17:41 PM »
+3
I just want her to run for president just to debate Trump because I know she'd lose it on stage.

The ignorant stammering of Obama combined with the rage of a tumblrite. She'd be demanding a second holocaust from the stage to save the Palestinian children.


MY FURSONOUNS

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7152 on: December 06, 2018, 04:31:41 PM »
+3
then her staff would make some sick burn on twitter post-debate and all of the soft faggots whose fibro will keep them from voting will post YAAAS QUEEN
Quote from: Aleph Null
Four months on hormones and I swear that my crotch sweat smells different.

walrus rape strategy

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7153 on: December 06, 2018, 05:24:50 PM »
+8
Quote from: Mendrian
Obama was not far left enough, and that's true.

Nigga, Mao Zedong isn't far enough to the left for most of you.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7154 on: December 07, 2018, 01:16:32 AM »
+11
i hereby nominate slacktivist for the medal of honor award + strug ceremony + 21 goatse salute

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7155 on: December 07, 2018, 08:28:21 AM »
+5
I second that  :reagan:

Also, hilarious that they think AOC will do anything in Congress except bend the knee and then start taking millions of special interest dollars as soon as she's physically able. Kinda like that other socialist fella. . . . . hmm. . . ...  :adam:

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7156 on: December 09, 2018, 12:27:40 AM »
+6
Quote from: Tormented
He's(sonicfox) a huge asshole. Must people don't know if your not part of the fgc that he is a super salty man-child with poor sportsmanship.

I'm okay with it though, at least he is pissing off chuds.

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
thats sadly doesn't surprise me. his twitter reads like someone who is like that. but i don't really care as long as he is just shitty toward chuds.

"He's a real shithead but he's our shithead." Hey goons isn't that the same reasoning your vilified chuds use to praise Drumpf?

Quote from: Ms Adequate
I'm extremely here for driving the alt-right away from video games entirely and if that means I stan furries, well, alea iacta est.

Quote from: Young Freud
So, a gay black furry wins some video game award and, because in his acceptance speech lauded the fact that he, a gay black furry, won such an award, caused Ian Miles Cheong and the conservatards to dig through SonicFox's tweets looking for anything remotely objectionable.

Quote from: Crabtree
He correctly said he is furry, gay and black and that republicans hate him for any and all of those. Then some gamer chodes who identity as nazis get upset when someone speaks the truth.

The same subhuman filth that proudly say that women or diversity in games ruins them, harass women who are involved in anything in video games and cry about not killing kids in games gets upset that guy uses their precious "FREE SPEECH" in an otherwise worthless game awards.

I can't take goon cries of violent revolution soon seriously because the only time they get excited about anything is when it involves vidya or cartoons. "Hey they gave a novelty award to the biggest videogame playing nerd on a staged advertisement. This is serious politics."

Quote from: Soonmot
A dude tries to spin kick a sign out of an anti-choice waste's hand and kicks her in the head instead. It worked out fine.

If you ever think I am exaggerating in the conclusions I draw from my D&D spelunking then here you go. "Violence against people I disagree with is fine."

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
why though? i could see like it as a fetish thing. but like the nazis would kill you so fucking fast if you were furry its not even funny.

Quote from: cheetah7071
"This time the fascists will include me in the dominant class I'm sure of it"

Are goons like vampires and if they see a mirror their self awareness is invisible?

Quote from: Otteration
The orange fecal smear is incapable of discernible function. An alligator's brain is about the size of a shelled walnut, and yet an alligator's behavior is hugely more predictable and functional than that of the shit stain that is the current "president".

Good luck telling it how the delete button works.

Hmmm.

Quote from: Otteration
Sorry (kinda). I'm a technical writer, and such things render unto me (in random order): chills, death, and lawsuits.

Clearly smarter than a billionaire president. But this is so easy it's a cop out for me so lets make sure this guy has no standards.

Quote from: Otteration
Yep. The best that we can be is to be better humans then them.

They're still human, and if they call for our destruction we get to punch them squarely and with much force. That is all.

Otherwise we become the other, and the other becomes us, and the fucking cycle fucking continues.

But maybe there's some coupons at the end?

"Violence OK if I deem the person bad. Stand against fascism!" There we go. What an intelligent person! You identify the cycle of dehumanizing others and then you advocate for it? Brilliant!

Quote from: InsertPotPun
THAT'S the motherfucker about all this: trump and his ilk are pissing and moaning about real, actual issues! It IS hard for the innocent to defend themselves in America's justice system, you CAN have your entire life destroyed for a crime you didn't commit, you CAN be forced to make a fake confession, all that stuff is very real and very serious...but not for motherfuckers like them! It's so fucking infuriating and this planet is so lucky I can't set things on fire with my mind. Watching, in agonizingly slow real time, how much different the justice system is for the wealthy while they, for the very first time ever in their life, point out the flaws in our system that aren't effecting them in the least is fucking galling.

Quote from: InsertPotPun on October 4th
So the endgame appears to be to hype Brett Kavanaugh as having such a deep, dark past that even an FBI report of it could, if released to the public, cause panic and death on a nationwide scale?

I mean, if it's that or just let him be on the fucking Supreme Court...

Thinking Emoji

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
yeah charlie kirk makes shit up all the goddamn time. these people have no fucking shame.

during his first politicon debate (with hasan piker) he said cuba's life expectancy had dropped 15 years thanks to socialism.

cuba has a higher life expectancy than the us. he said such a blatant lie despite the fact anyone in the audience could fact check him instantly.

hums loudly and uses google with hunt and peck typing

cuba life expectancy: 79.74 years
us life expectancy: 78.69 years

golly! he's correct! after all these countries are complete 1:1s of each other with no significant differences aside from Cuba wisely embracing communism. maybe the goons.. were on the right side....... of history............

Quote from: Lambert
I think Americans in general don't really understand what Democracy is actually about.

He said in the midst of the forum that wants the electoral college removed every time they don't like the result.

Quote from: eke out
i think this is well said: at a certain point, failure to impeach - even if you know you don't have enough Senators - is going to be considered a moral failing

haha what

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7157 on: December 09, 2018, 12:45:14 AM »
+3
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhdEbOzcN1U" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhdEbOzcN1U</a>

Justice Dredd

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7158 on: December 09, 2018, 11:33:54 AM »
+6
it's true. republicans are losing sleep over the idea that a gay black furry is the best at a genre of video games. rex tillerson was actually fired because he couldn't find a suitable person that could defeat him in most honorable video gayme combat.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7159 on: December 09, 2018, 04:32:58 PM »
+8
Quote from: RuanGacho
I am fairly confident that the key to ending the Trump horror show lies in taking away his money, or the good business man perception of it, and de-platforming him as much as possible. The latter requires going after the money of Twitter and fox news and is a little bit more difficult for obvious reasons.

It would probably be easier to get Trump to stop interacting with them then to stop those platforms themselves. But without the money, especially the Russian money, he's not building the Trump Network.

Time to close down those troublesome opinion places for having the wrong opinions and allowing people I dislike to use them.

Quote from: Crabtree
I won't believe the NRA is really in financial trouble until they start taxing gun makers for every mass shooting and those same companies go bankrupt. These are motherfuckers that make profit from each school shooting, political grifting and likely have Russian dark money funneled in on top of that.

A trip down loony lane.

Quote from: Squalid
A man who plays video games for hours everyday is a manchild.

Shocking. Truly shocking

GLASS

HOUSES

Credit where it's due Squalid doesn't have posts in any SA vidya threads so maybe they are the real deal, though not being very polite to present company!

Quote from: Feinne
I mean back in the day there wasn't an obvious subset of weirdos who were also hurting people because the closest Nazis got to being bold enough to come out in the open were some KKK rallies a couple times a year and they pretty much make fun of themselves. Now we've got the Nazis and Nazi-adjacents and people who are kind of strange but aren't hurting anyone are refreshing potential allies.

That's still the case and Republicans aren't getting on stage and shouting 1488. Liberals just went a little crazy and started arguing that everyone who disagrees with them must be doing so in full SS uniform.

Quote from: InsertPotPun
I gotta admit I was trying very, VERY hard to go through my entire life just kinda...not interacting with Jagaloos and Ferpersons. Now I gotta at least make eye contact with them if I see one in person.

trump has made my life so much worse.



the first step is to admit that she was your first crush you rapidly aging fucks.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

The stupider goons outing themselves as everybody agrees that because sonicfox hate conservatives, sonicfox good. If sonicfox furry and sonicfox good, furries good. btw im a furry.

Quote from: bloodysabbath
Hottest of all takes: Nazis are the worst, furries and juggalos are still stupid and worthy of mockery and derision. Like if Spencer and Sonicfox were in a Jigsaw trap from Saw, and I had to save one, I’d save Sonicfox, sure. But being better than a Nazi is a pretty low bar and furry pro gamers combine two dumb fuckin’ things into a dumb fuckin’ Voltron.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Mods make sure to take out troublemakers who don't get with the program! Sonicfox hate conservatives, furries GOOD!

Quote from: Paradoxish
I mean, there's also the problem that impeaching is pointless as long as Senate Republicans aren't willing to flip on Trump in significant numbers. I'm not saying that Democrats shouldn't do it, but if you know for a fact that you aren't going to remove him from office it doesn't make a lot of sense to pull the trigger right now. That's especially true if you're worried that Republicans will use a failed trial to build a narrative that actually Trump is innocent and this was all a political hit job.

A goon makes a good point. Impeaching Trump just to have it fail and grant him immunity via no double jeopardy and loads of free publicity and loads of free "the crazy dems can shut up now, they were wrong" sounds like a really bad idea.

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
that's not going to work. this isn't like clinton. he's done more shit than nixon did.

...

no shit. but it's going to backfire on the dems if they don't at least impeach him after all the shit he's done. it's going to be the other way around - the dems can point at everyone that voted not to convict and say they're protecting a criminal.

Determined to be the stupidest poster on D&D Groovelord Neato argues the opposite. If the Democrats get impeachment proceedings going and they fail this will be a gain.

Err... by all means my good goon. :tuss:

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
trump's popularity is around 20 points lower than clinton's was when he was impeached and trump's disapproval is 30 points higher and he has committed numerous obvious crimes. the republicans were, as they are now, morons and impeached a popular president for blatantly political reasons.

...

impeaching trump will not hurt the democrats politically. i've said it a half dozen times already but his approval rating is about 20 points lower and his disapproval rating about 30 points higher than clinton's were when he was impeached. clinton's impeachment was blatantly partisan.

Ah! Approval ratings! Bulletproof! It's not like those are being manipulated for nearly three years straight! And there's NOTHING partisan about the treatment of Trump!

Quote from: Shimrra Jamaane
Pretty sure House Dems realize that you can only fire the impeachment gun once and will not commit to anything aside from pledging to investigate until Mueller’s final report is released AND the federal courts of New York finalize whatever they’re doing with their Tump investigation. And even then they’ll probably want to wait on the results of their own House investigatory committees as well.

...

It’s just going to suck when on Day 1 of the new Congressional term someone is going to ask Pelosi about impeachment and she’ll give some safe non-committal answer like “we’re currently looking to pursue various possibilities depending on circumstances blah blah blah” and the immediate reaction is going to be “FUCKING WEAK DEMS, MAKE AOC SPEAKER”

Yes agreed entirely. I can't imagine how stupid you'd have to be to try impeachment before Mueller gave you any feasible ammo.

Quote from: white sauce
Also the idea that Mueller is gonna make anything public is laughable.

The guy collided with Bush to start the War on Terror. He’s a white old Republican. Waiting for someone like Mueller to “do the right thing” is incredibly foolish.

Here's a new toxic take. Mueller is evil and will not produce anything of note on Trump. YOUCH!

Quote from: ABenSpielberg
Tweet

Democrats in New Jersey passed a $15 minimum wage bill when they knew Chris Christie would veto it. Now that they have a governor who supports higher wages, they've gutted their original bill. @NJSenatePres, @SpeakerCoughlin, & co. should be ashamed.

Quote from: ozmunkeh
Never change, democrats.

Quote from: Kokoro Wish
The Dems of Colorado that took power recently have done the exact same thing. Fucking over and watering down their own bills that they proposed when Republicans were in power now that they can actually pass them.

MY BLUE WAAAAAAAAAVE

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
the thing that pisses me off about people being against the 15 minimum wage is that it's a compromise. it should be at least 22 bucks.

Quote from: Kokoro Wish
That was a few years ago. I think it's probably at about $26 now.

Nearly $30 an hour to stock shelves.

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
and i dunno about everyone but i bet most office jobs you aren't actually working for 40 hours every week (in my old retail job we never had enough hours to actually do all the work tho).

That explains that.

Quote from: white sauce
People don’t want to hear weak excuses from the party who is supposed to be pummeling the Republicans.

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
yeah even if we didn't have any of the russia or cohen stuff trump was in violation of the constitution the nanosecond he took office.

Feel free to explain how without blubbering about the electoral college being evil once it gives you a result you disagree with.

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
fuck off. ban all guns.

This dude is an all star today.  :stewart:

Quote from: Tibalt
Just so we're all clear, this current "should the Democrats impeach Donald Trump" conversation is happening because Nadler said that campaign violations during an election would be an impeachable offense, but they'd have to investigate the Trump campaign first. The same thing he's been saying since before the midterm election, except about tax evasion and Russian collusion.

The reality is that the American voters don't want impeachment to be a partisan tool, which is great because impeachment and removal from office shouldn't be a partisan tool. Trump shouldn't be impeached because he's misogynistic racist businessman trapped in the 80s, he should be impeached because he's violated the public trust and abused his authority. That means, holy shit guys, the Democrats will need to do things like investigate the president and prove his misconduct in an objective manner that stands up to public scrutiny!

Having a freak out because the guy whose probably going to be the chair of the committee that will begin the investigations isn't saying "Yeah, I'm sure the fair and unbiased investigation we're going to have is gonna nail his ass to the wall" is dumb.

Brings a single tear to my eye. Seeing glimmers of intelligence in D&D is a rare sight. I don't care if I disagree with any of these goons. I quote and post to laugh at them when they accidentally out themselves as having the same mindset as the Nazis they imagine they're fighting.

So it's nice to end the day with something reasonable.

Quote from: Bottom Liner
this is really fuckin dumb mate

Quote from: white sauce
We should tip-toe around the criminal president while he turns the government into his personal crime machine. The voters will reward us for this.

Quote from: Giggy
A basic principle of democracy should be "we can impeach this guy whenever we want for the simple reason that he doesn't have support from the majority of people."
« Last Edit: December 09, 2018, 04:41:44 PM by Slacktivist »

Justice Dredd

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7160 on: December 09, 2018, 04:38:34 PM »
+10
lmao @ deplatforming the president of the united states. "HOW IS HE STILL ABLE TO GET HIS MESSAGE OUT THERE IF HES NOT ON TWITTER?!?!?!"

Small Weinered Goon

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7161 on: December 09, 2018, 05:17:27 PM »
+8
They of course forget that if Trump does get deplatformed, Twitter will shutter operations the next day.  He's singlehandedly keeping the doors open over there.

On second thought, I agree with Twitter banning Trump!

Backpfeifengesicht

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7162 on: December 09, 2018, 06:00:14 PM »
+20
Twitter bans the President, and five minutes later another one of those national emergency messages goes out to every smartphone in the United States. It's just whatever Trump was going to tweet next, and this goes on for the next six years. Every 30 to 45 minutes, every phone in the nation loudly alerts everyone within earshot that the president has something to say again, and they can't turn it off or even turn down the volume.
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7163 on: December 09, 2018, 09:34:49 PM »
+4
Twitter bans the President, and five minutes later another one of those national emergency messages goes out to every smartphone in the United States. It's just whatever Trump was going to tweet next, and this goes on for the next six years. Every 30 to 45 minutes, every phone in the nation loudly alerts everyone within earshot that the president has something to say again, and they can't turn it off or even turn down the volume.

 :nixon:
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7164 on: December 11, 2018, 08:34:42 PM »
+6
Quote from: Fritz Coldcockin
You're right--clearly we should strive for status quo mediocrity and incremental change only!

Fuck off. AOC rules and the fact that she makes people like you mad because she shakes you out of your comfortable bubble just makes her more awesome.

A good Yas Slay Kween to you thread.

Quote from: Brony Car
ABOLISH ICE is much catchier than REFORM ICE SUBSTANTIALLY.

The end result would be much the same as no one except conservatives thinks that liberals want super open borders with no one stopping MS-13 members and rapists from coming in to covet our pure white daughters.

This one is great since several quoted goon liberals have openly declared that super open borders is the only outcome they'll accept.

Quote from: pseudanonymous
Wow the groupthink in this thread is hilarious.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Quote from: Fritz Coldcockin
Why is it that the only people with takes like this are shitty people? News flash, homey: AOC is objectively awesome. It's not "groupthink" to call it like it is.

There's no group think here!

Quote from: mcmagic
I don't really see the whole "the D base demands impeachment" stuff...

Quote from: Kale
I think that's largely the Republican media machine projecting something for it's base to be afraid and all riled up about, but it's kind of something that would just have to happen for a democracy to have a hope of staying functional.

:tuss: what

Most of my quotes over the last two weeks have been full of IMPEACHMENT NOW and IF THE DEMS DON'T IMPEACH THEY ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT. And it's Republican projection?

:ultlibrage: what!?

Quote from: Wylie
My greatest fear (that I almost don't dare to speak into existence) is that Mueller's report is going to say "Well, Russia did everything they could do to help, and Trump's side sure benefited from it, but there's not enough connective tissue between the two to establish a conspiracy between them." There are enough crimes out there already to support impeachment of a Normal President, but we don't have one of those right now. I still think the Dems will have to draw up articles and impeach him, but I don't know if the Senate will bail on him in that case like I think they will if Mueller truly can establish a conspiracy.

PEOPLE ARE CALLING FOR IMPEACHMENT WITHIN THE SAME PAGE MY GOON SIR. "There are enough crimes out there already to support impeachment of a Normal President"!

:burnslol: My greatest fear is the thing that is pretty much guaranteed to happen.

Quote from: Smeef
Slogans like this are cliche but there's a simpler truth to it, too, and one that Trump (wittingly or not) is pretty good at: when your opening position is outrageously high, you anchor the negotiation high.

Trump sure is stupid. I bet he doesn't even intentionally or knowingly practice a principle straight out of one of his own books.

Are all of the goons double insane today? These are astoundingly bad self-owns!

Quote from: Besesoth
You're the sort of person who makes "triggered" jokes but I'll respond anyway.

:golfclap:

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
ingraham was the keynote speaker at a work conference i attended and when she said she was a nixon fan it caused some of my older coworkers to walk out.

I think it's very immature to be unable to discuss the positive qualities of somebody you dislike. Like if you suggested "Hitler was good at public speaking" and were called a Nazi.

Quote from: Skippy McPants
Fry, he opened up relations with China.

I remember on the commentary track the writers mentioned how hard it was to find something positive in Nixon's legacy for that joke. But hey, if we can rehabilitate GHWB, and Reagan, why not Nixon? They were all luminaries, done in by the liberal gay agenda!

Eh what'd Tricky Dick ever do for anybody anyway? Shit some of these sound like things a goon should be going bananas over. Gender equality? Extending the youth vote? Woooooah somebody get this beatnik outta the oval office!

Quote from: Mr Ice Cream Glove

MAGA Christmas card


Quote from: Crow Jane
This dad really wanted boys, I'll bet

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
live by the sword.

Quote from: JAY ZERO SUM GAME
He was gonna molest them no matter what

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

The people on the right...... side of....... history...... murder those I disagree with....... they're pedos......

Quote from: Lightning Knight
In the absence of evidence accusing random people of child molestation is bizarre and bad. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours.

I agree and look forward to LK banning most of the thread by simply reviewing my well documented quotes.

Quote from: Phazon Link
Donnie wants to fuck Ivanana , why wouldnt a shitty Chud copy Donnie?

Also reminder that one of those purity ball fathers got arrested for molesting his daughter.

Also also fundies have eff up views on The Sex and get crossed wires in their brain which lead to eff up sex stuff.

I guess I won't hold my breath for it though!

Quote from: ummel
The 15 year old is the gun nut here, if you follow to instagram. Apparently she wins her fair share of shooting competitions. Most that tacticool garbage is probably sponsored.

I didn't copy every single goon struggling to mock a nuclear family but rest assured none of them are going to let this stop them. "What a horrible stupid child molesting chud!" "Uhh he supports his daughter being a talented marksman, don't you guys like women?"

Quote from: Crow Jane
Yeah, that seems like the kind of arsenal whose main purpose is protecting your McMansion

Quote from: Smeef
"Yeah, that seems like the kind of arsenal whose main purpose is for your kid to blow his brains out when he gets depressed in high school"

Quote from: Ate My Balls Redux
what the fuck is this shit? Like I could see a basic hunting rifle in your hands if shooting was REALLY your thing but this just seems like its a celebration of murder toys for Xmas.

God I hate humans

"What a horrible stupid cunt!"

Quote from: Boris Galerkin
Why are you following a presumably not related to you 15 year old girl on Instagram

"Maybe you're the pedo!"

Quote from: AlBorlantern Corps
I assume he clicked in that family's Instagram, not that particular family member.

Quote from: evilweasel
i assume he looked up the instagram handle on the image

Quote from: ummel
I'm not, the handle is literally in the picture posted.

Can't let thinking get in the way of a purity test if the groupthink is threatened!

Quote from: Crow Jane
Idk, by the time she gets to college and away from her parents she might take another path. It's doubtful, but it's a possibility. Her parents have probably planned that for her since she was in diapers, though

"I only hope that girl escapes the love and support of her parents to be indoctrinated at a university." Women's equality and freedom of choice is great as long as those stupid bitches don't choose the wrong things, eh goons?

:tuss:

Quote from: Spiritus Nox
I forget, how do we feel about this criminal justice bill that's apparently happening? I feel like I remember hearing nice things about it, but also Donald wants it passed which seems like the reddest of flags.

This thread doesn't do group think. Uh could somebody remind me what to think?

Quote from: Ate My Balls Redux
I had a dream years ago that climate change was irreversible and had gotten to the point where there were food shortages and it was always unbearably hot. The government provided a suicide pill to every citizen and I went to the movies and took it in the middle of a movie.

So... that is probably what I'll do. Thanks for the impromptu therapy, USPOL thread!

Reeeeeeee

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7165 on: December 11, 2018, 09:47:48 PM »
+3
Ugh piece of shit Nixon getting oil pricing in dollars fuck

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7166 on: December 11, 2018, 10:30:08 PM »
+3
Yes Officer, I'd like to do a Welfare Check on "Ate My Balls Redux"

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7167 on: December 12, 2018, 09:24:58 AM »
+5
I'm surprised they're not angry over the fact that one of the girls clearly has an "illegal" bumpstock on her rifle.

Also it doesn't look like the mom can wield that gun she's using.

I also like that they immediately make the comment "GUESS THE DAD WANTED BOYS" as soon as they see girls with guns. Thought Officer, arrest those blobs for enforcing gender roles and sexism.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7168 on: December 14, 2018, 11:34:24 PM »
+4
Pretty boring week in goon town. Politics junkies drooling and trying to deliver new variations on orange man bad while claiming every hour without a chief of staff is proof that Drumpf is finished. Or they're doing some boring vetting shit associated with anything more important than new fry cook at the McDonalds. I tried to find some quotes to laugh at!

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
yep. i am fucked too. especially if i find a job.

"Donald Trump stupid" claims unemployed goon.

Quote from: GATOS Y VATOS
lol in America baying for blood only means "we might elect somebody instead of you" instead of showing up with a guillotine and it's this country's biggest mistake for sticking with such nonsense when shit gets this real.

Why don't we just murder public officials we dislike? Quote from a sane man.

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
idk man, we live in angry as fuck times and the human face of the GOP has fully dropped away. if they don't halt it tonight. people will be mad.

Quote from: BardoTheConsumer
Like hell they will. Their family members will die but Sean hannity will tell them it's the democrat's fault and they'll all believe it unquestioningly.

Or at least enough will to keep electing the same people again and again

What? Wouldn't this be your fault good goons? Shouldn't you brave marxist revolutionaries be grabbing a guillotine and dispensing justice? I guess as always it comes down to that great liberal battlecry: "I'll start the wiki."

Quote from: Herstory Begins Now
Trump and his related businesses and organizations may literally be the most investigated man in America at the moment. It feels like the dam is starting to break

‘This Will Be The End Of Trump’s Campaign,’ Says Increasingly Nervous Man For Seventh Time This Year

Quote from: @MattxRed
The kids from Sandy Hook should be in middle school today.

The kids that survived are in middle school... still practicing active shooter drills.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
Thread.

We’re all going to Hell.

:rolleyes:

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
yeah i got into with a few clinton diehards on twitter and it was like dealing with trump supporters. several of them called me "jealous" for pointing how obscene it is for the clintons to make more for speaking for an hour than the vast majority of americans make working a whole year.

the leather must taste good.

2020 is gonna be hilarious. Just you wait.

Quote from: SocketWrench
I don't think ever in my life has there been a face that instantly brings up emotions of rage and disgust for me. I mean I've been wronged by many people, but Trump is the only one that at a glance can make me hit a boil in a split second and force me to look away

Have you tried not following politics?

Quote from: DaveWoo
He lost by about 2.6% (215,000 votes).

Honestly, the "Beto is bad because he lost to Ted Cruz" argument has always seemed a bit strange to me - Ted Cruz may be a soulless husk of a human being, but he's still a Republican running in a heavily Republican state. He was massively favored to win, and the fact that Beto came as close as he did is pretty impressive.

Beto Lost And Here's Why That's A Good Thing

Quote from: Shimrra Jamaane
Now obviously you’d be right to argue that our immigration policies are ultimately responsible for her death by forcing her and other migrants to have to sneak through the barren desert instead of being able to walk up to a border crossing. But broad scale neglect doesn’t catch headlines like direct murder.

Should try this one in court sometime. I had to steal that TV because the creation of legal currency put me in a situation where I didn't have enough of it.

A seven year old kid was taken by her family into the desert and caught a nasty illness. The enlightened goon take is that ICE personally murdered her by not having 100% open borders.

Quote from: Eeyo
Ugh, we killed her twice. Our fucked up border policy forces families to make dangerous (and deadly) crossings in the desert to avoid our border patrol. And then that border patrol is grossly negligent in caring for people crossing the desert and you end up with this. She should have never been in danger in the first place, and she sure as fuck should have been taken care of when in the border patrol’s custody.

I guess they lose me with the leap in logic away from "don't try to enter countries illegally."

Quote from: Donnerberg
It's absolutely horrifying, but I'm not sure if International courts can do anything. I won't pretend to know much about these things, but it comes down to something about the US not allowing extradition. There's war criminals that have walked free because they're protected as American citizens. I either heard this in Ken Burns / Lynn Novick's Vietnam War documentary, or on the Blackwater episode of The Dollop. Can't remember which.

Trying to imagine the UN demanding some rank and file DHS guy's life imprisonment for the crime of "routine custody of illegal immigrants and they got sick crossing a desert and I didn't spontaneously become Doctor House to save her."

Quote from: Crow Jane
Saying that rich, powerful adults are somehow "bullied" makes my eyes twitch

Quote from: Taerkar
They claim oppression when they aren't allowed to do even more terrible things. And the sycophants back them up.

Quote from: Crow Jane
I feel like it's even more ridiculous than that, like someone disagreeing with or simply not liking them is that person bullying them.

Playing on 10 screens simultaneously projection.

The Soys Of Summer

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7169 on: December 15, 2018, 01:46:51 AM »
+6

Quote from: @MattxRed
The kids from Sandy Hook should be in middle school today.

The kids that survived are in middle school... still practicing active shooter drills.
rolleyes:


When some disillusioned sperg in a cosmopolitan coastal blue state shoots up a school its the fault of NRA members in red flyouer states.  :tuss:

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7170 on: December 15, 2018, 03:44:32 AM »
+4
hey look guys its a pic of adam lanza's father!

nah im a
white wow


anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7171 on: December 15, 2018, 03:45:41 AM »
+7
Kids today have active shooter drills where they duck and cover under their desk. When I was a kid I had tornado drills where I was taught duck and cover under my desk. When my dad was a kid he had duck and cover drills and was issued dog tags so his remains could be identified after nuclear holocaust.

Only a goon could fall into a deep depression over something literal children don't care about.

Getrag 6sp Manual Tranny

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7172 on: December 15, 2018, 03:50:40 AM »
+4
how well can those drills actually work when you're basically teaching the shooter your game plan assuming they're a student? maybe they should stop setting up the floor plans of newly made high schools to be shooting-range length straight hallways with rooms that only have one exit. im no civil engineer but it doesnt take a big brain galaxy think to me like "hmmm why do we build these things to be the perfect place to go on a rampage?" i've brought this up to shitlibs before but it's not popular because its a solution that doesn't involve scolding conservatives and making childrens lives miserable.

its 2018 and ur letting these kids be raised by ssri's and internet porn things are gonna happen, not hard to design the buildings to be a bit less optimal for something that's not gonna stop happening any time soon.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 03:52:42 AM by Getrag 6sp Manual Tranny »
nah im a
white wow


a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7173 on: December 15, 2018, 10:17:41 AM »
+8
Hey check out China's Concentration camps D&D. They're holding 1 million people including many muslims. You can live out your dreams of freeing oppressed people from an authoritarian regime.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcvTeRmFsXE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcvTeRmFsXE</a>

It's got everything a Hitler fighting Enthusiast could want. The camp is located in a isolated location, starving and diseased prisoners who are being chopped up for the medical black market and who's sold body parts go directly into the government's pockets, armed guards wearing full body uniforms with matching stylish hats, everyone talks in funny accents, the people being oppressed are some shade of brown too!

Best of all it's sponsored by Google!

But no you faggots will stay in your fucking basement and pretend that groups like antifa are anything other than useful idiots. Yes continue your endless bitching about Trump and thinking he's some kind of dictator when the real thing is just a short 15 hour plane ride away. C'mon faggots try doing something like shipping a large supply of weapons across the Chinese borders so that you can free these people.  :geithner:
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 10:21:56 AM by a torrent of piss »

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7174 on: December 15, 2018, 02:27:59 PM »
+4
Quote from: Groovelord Neato
in a just world chaffetz would be fed feet first through a plastic shredder.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Murder those I disagree with.

Quote from: @badtakes
Jason Chaffetz, speaking about Jakelin Caal Maquin, a 7 year old girl who died in the custody of US Border Patrol: "That should be the message, don't make this journey, it will kill you."

Quote from: kippy McPants
Holy shit the face of that guy in the center frame. "Did this dude just say what I think he said?"

For real, though, deterrence is a common line of thinking within our government about the border and refugee crises. It's something we even heard from Obama when an immigration lawyer challenged him on the subject, tweet

Quote from: Barack Obama
“I’ll tell you what we can’t have. It’s these parents sending their kids here on a dangerous journey and putting their lives at risk.”

Now, of course, there is a huge difference between "you will die on the journey," and "you will die in our custody," but it's a difference of degrees, of weaponizing the same sentiment: it is dangerous to come here, don't bother, we don't want you.

Or maybe the message is "immigrate legally and you take your own risks if you cross a desert"? This is the stupid-ass goon argument framing. I don't like the law therefore it must not exist. Change it legally? What do you expect us to do, vote for some sort of blue wave or president?

Quote from: edgy mcgoon
posts picture of guillotine blueprint

Quote from: Idahoant
So what is this supposed to mean?

Quote from: Pellisworth
please tell me you don't recognize a guillotine. it's a patent for a guillotine.

Only the smartest debaters here.

Quote from: kidkissinger
It means keep posting and writing editorials and voting as those are the only legitimate tools to enact change.

Feel free to start the revolution yourself whenever you're ready you big sopping pussy.

Quote from: Booourns
It's a way to post "I want to kill this person/group of people" without getting put on probation

Quote from: Pellisworth
So which "persons/groups of people" should be exempt from the guillotine?

Maybe we shouldn't murder people we dislike because I don't trust a bunch of manic-depressive children to fairly decide who is worthy of living in their eyes? Especially since we've already established that to several D&D regulars "anyone who makes more money than me is evil" is one of the starting standards.

Quote from: 1glitch0
Nurses, EMTs, firefighters, and Bill Murray.

Sensible Chuckle.gif.

Quote from: Ravenfood
You know white nationalism is pretty fucking rampant in the emt/ff community, and nurses have a ton of racist, sexist, anti-vax fuckers lurking in their midst too, right?

oh for fuck's sake. point proven on the same page. HEY YOU KNOW WHO'S EVIL? EMTS AND FIREFIGHTERS!

Checking out the Dem 2020 Primary thread.

Quote from: Yudo
Maybe I'm an optimist but these people used to blame bankers and wall street types for their woes and I don't see why we can't go back to that. Resentment is a huge part of politics, something democrats have largely forgotten.

Hahaha tell me about it.

Quote from: axeil
Yeah things would be much better if the Dems had lost 2018 because then at least they'd be pure and wouldn't have dirty centrists ruining everything

I'd like things to actually get better in this country instead of posting haughtily on the internet for sick burns. Real people's lives are at stake.

Quote from: AFancyQuestionMark
Having a party consisting primarily of neoliberal centrists back in power, even if better than the current racist fascist-leaning conservative party, is not going to make things better enough in a short enough time-scale, and may as a result further exacerbate the underlying economic and social inequalities in the US. Basically, incremental progress is actually meaningless and the establishment Democrats either don't want to or are incapable of properly addressing some of the most important underlying issues affecting the lives of the majority of people (healthcare, climate change, labor rights, etc.).

So a takeover of the Dems by more left people now, even if leading to a short-term loss, is actually the only way to tackle these problems in the longer-term.

I agree just run variations of AOC in every district and every primary spot in 2020.

Quote from: Hellblazer187
It's fun watching everyone fight to defend the honor or either rural or suburban trash but remember that in America literally everyone is indefensible trash.

Don't you want a misanthrope like this to decide who deserves to live and die?

Quote from: Helsing
Just to be clear, you're saying the white suburbanites who were +5 for Trump in 2016 are in the category of "not racist" voters?

Quote from: Z. Autobahn
No, they were absolutely racist and still are and also voted for Republicans in 2018? They just got drowned out by non-racist ones who showed up this time (and okay, some of the racists probably stayed home). That's how it works. But it's a lot easier to swing a +2 R bloc through motivating new members than it is to swing a +15 one.

Quote from: Typo
at the risk of sounding like a neolib, to be fair, that's actually true, around 50% of Trump supporters pretty solidly falls into the deplorable camp as opinion polling on stuff like whose responsible for charlotesville show.

It's just not politically correct nor expedient nor electorally optimal to call 25% of the country racist even if they actually are.

I'm imagining the average goon given God-like power over the US and just killing large portions of the population for reasons that would make a pantshitting WN crew in full SS regalia blush.

"Well they live in the rural south. They must be bad people."