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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 928043 times)

Cock Me Amadeus

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5950 on: November 03, 2017, 09:38:19 PM »
+8
Quote
No just restore the newspapers as a main source of information. If you’re not getting the right information you can’t even use your reasoning skills to make a good decision. Garbage in garbage out.

Yes, lets exercise people's reasoning skills by ensuring we have only one "official" news source giving the "correct", Ministry of Truth approved information. Also, we'd better call in Winston Smith to work some overtime retconning these history textbooks to reflect the TRUTH, such as the fact that JFK was really a trans woman of color.

Talcum X

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5951 on: November 04, 2017, 01:44:57 PM »
+10
Everyone knows that Salon is the only TRUE moderate and fair news source - College prof

Cock Me Amadeus

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5952 on: November 04, 2017, 06:01:58 PM »
+9
Everyone knows that Salon is the only TRUE moderate and fair news source - College prof

Salon told me sticking my finger in my nephew's asshole was beautiful and natural. #LoveIsLove -College prof

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5953 on: November 06, 2017, 12:28:55 AM »
+8
There was a shooting today. I wonder how goons reacted to the news...

Quote from: Bueno Papi
Aren't you allowed to carry firearms in church in Texas?

Quote from: Mustached Demon
I thought it was Texas. Where was the good guy with a gun? Why didn't the pastor bust out his tacted out assault rifle from behind the podium?

Quote from: KickerOfMice
I was at the place of an older NRA member earlier this week. He had tacked up on his memo board the mailer that the NRA sends out to PA members - about who they must vote for on Tuesday. Because, the mailer stated, their rights are under constant assault and a nation even more completely saturated with weapons will make it safer.

Quote from: Evil Fluffy
There is an absolutely staggering number of 1-2 day old "yeah try that shit at *my* church and CCWers will show you what's up " replies on that post. Someone who actually cares to have a Twitter account should reply to each of them with a link to news about today's mass shooting.

Quote from: Office Pig

Sorry about my dumb asshole state, y'all.

Quote from: Mustached Demon
Didn't stop today won't stop the next one. Not your fault your state's ran by fuckwads.

Quote from: Potato Salad
Young white military Christian shoots up people. Answer: more guns for white Christian mostly-GOP people.

what could go wrong right :unsmigghh:

Quote from: sheri
Thank God the good guys got him before he killed like 30 people!

For some reason they changed the topic after the next post.

Quote from: Phlag

This is going to add fuel to the "good guy with a gun" argument for a long time, despite the fact that 26 people were still murdered.

:stewart:
« Last Edit: November 06, 2017, 12:32:33 AM by anti-nigger machine »

reactionary

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5954 on: November 07, 2017, 04:42:44 PM »
+7
Just a reminder that the go-to example of successful socialism for goons is Burkina Faso

Quote from: ThomasPaine
Worth remembering Thomas Sankara here, the Marxist leader of Burkina Faso during the 80s (long, long after the heydey of Marxist revolution). He refused all foreign aid and nationalised all land and industry, encouraged food self-sufficiency, pushed a huge literacy campaign, vaccinated millions of kids, opened medical services in every village, outlawed FGM and polygamy and placed women into positions of authority, started to create a huge national infrastructure to replace the old lopsided colonial one, even went so far as to order millions of trees planted to halt desertification. The guy was an absolute fucking hero and Burkina Faso could easily have been Africa's Cuba or better. Just a damned shame Sankara wasn't as good at dodging bullets as Castro.

Oh yeah, Burkina Faso is now one of the world's poorest countries so thanks France/US/global interests of capital in general.

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Small Weinered Goon

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5955 on: November 07, 2017, 04:49:52 PM »
+6
A guy who got killed before his “revolutionary” ideas came back to bite him in the ass.

GameDev Grade Dildo

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5956 on: November 07, 2017, 04:55:07 PM »
+14
Assume that literally everything in that post is true, accurate, and complete. Does it make a case for Marxism, or for enlightened despotism?

The Soys Of Summer

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5957 on: November 07, 2017, 05:05:08 PM »
+6
Just a reminder that the go-to example of successful socialism for goons is Burkina Faso

Quote from: ThomasPaine
Worth remembering Thomas Sankara here, the Marxist leader of Burkina Faso during the 80s (long, long after the heydey of Marxist revolution). He refused all foreign aid and nationalised all land and industry, encouraged food self-sufficiency, pushed a huge literacy campaign, vaccinated millions of kids, opened medical services in every village, outlawed FGM and polygamy and placed women into positions of authority, started to create a huge national infrastructure to replace the old lopsided colonial one, even went so far as to order millions of trees planted to halt desertification. The guy was an absolute fucking hero and Burkina Faso could easily have been Africa's Cuba or better. Just a damned shame Sankara wasn't as good at dodging bullets as Castro.

Oh yeah, Burkina Faso is now one of the world's poorest countries so thanks France/US/global interests of capital in general.

Guy was killed by his fellow revolutionary comrades.

"Thanks Amerikkka! Thanks France!" -  :librage:

J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5958 on: November 07, 2017, 05:07:37 PM »
+3
Quote
Africa's Cuba

...


....what? 

Trigger Word: Everything

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5959 on: November 07, 2017, 06:07:15 PM »
+10
Instead it can be Africa's Haiti, or just "Africa".

:nigganomics:
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5960 on: November 07, 2017, 06:24:14 PM »
+11
Marxism can't survive one political assassination. Meanwhile the US has weathered multiple ones and attempts.

GEE WHAT OTHER INFERIOR SYSTEMS CANT SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LEADER? A monarchy, a dictatorship, a theocracy.

HondaRider271

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5961 on: November 07, 2017, 06:35:04 PM »
+3
Better than Cuba???? Is that even possible?!?!
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I don't want people thinking that lobbying a bunch will get you ousted (because that's really ridiculous and I don't play that way!)...
And again, seriously, do not worry about this.
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You did a good job for your forum and are a legitimately nice guy

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5962 on: November 07, 2017, 06:36:18 PM »
0
Cuba is the land of milk and honey.

The Trumpriarch

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5963 on: November 07, 2017, 09:42:16 PM »
0
Marxism can't survive one political assassination. Meanwhile the US has weathered multiple ones and attempts.

GEE WHAT OTHER INFERIOR SYSTEMS CANT SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LEADER? A monarchy, a dictatorship, a theocracy.

I get what you're trying to say, but the primary feature of a monarchy, laws of succession, is based on the death of a leader, while the Papacy is still around.
cry "bigot!" and let slip the troons of war

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5964 on: November 07, 2017, 10:20:20 PM »
0
Marxism can't survive one political assassination. Meanwhile the US has weathered multiple ones and attempts.

GEE WHAT OTHER INFERIOR SYSTEMS CANT SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LEADER? A monarchy, a dictatorship, a theocracy.

I get what you're trying to say, but the primary feature of a monarchy, laws of succession, is based on the death of a leader, while the Papacy is still around.
Eh the laws of succession really didn't go all that smoothly since there were many usurpers

Also the papacy got it's ass handed to it more than once.


anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5965 on: November 29, 2017, 03:31:03 PM »
+11
Quote from: Kale
Another reason I just can't with this thread anymore. Literally too depressing to read and it's silly too because it's not like the "good guys" aren't scoring a lot of points this year too in the political circle, it's just people refuse to acknowledge it or be satisfied by the gains progressives make. It's not even just Covok, the tone of this thread in general is just like fucking depressing and deflating as shit now for no real reason and makes it feel like Trump is slam dunk winning the politics game every time I'm here lately even though that's far from the story and I damn well know it is. Those people might not take a breather and stop, but I will for sure. I literally just have to if I'm going to have a prayer of making it through the holiday season at work mentally intact.

White Rapper

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5966 on: November 29, 2017, 04:05:09 PM »
+6
Oh no the mods better get that suicide hotline number sticky again.

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5967 on: December 18, 2017, 05:13:02 PM »
+14
Quote from: Koalas March
They're already gentrifying Detroit and I'm fucking pissed about it. I was working part-time at the Detroit Symphony Orchestra to save money for my own place and there were some "fixer upper" lofts above an old lovely warehouse on the same block I wanted to rent and when I quit and went back to look at my last job the price on that shit skyrocketed

The person that has no job, no credit and no savings was gonna move out to Detroit til whitey ruined it.  :tuss:



J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5968 on: December 18, 2017, 05:20:38 PM »
+9
Isn't like half of Detroit abandoned?  Shit, banks would probably let you live in a place for free just to keep the hobos and methheads from squatting.

It really sounds like she wanted to move into a gentrified section of the city because its been, you know, gentrified.

Dem Wypipo

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5969 on: December 18, 2017, 07:16:16 PM »
+16
The Shalamaladingdong twist with the cheap real estate in Detroilet is that they want you to pay all the back taxes from when it was abandoned to when the purchase was made.  You can buy a $30,000 house but you might have to pay an additional $30,000 in back taxes and it's required to be paid up front too; dem niggas wanna get paid.

Brittany is too scared to move in with any real niggas who might confuse her as white, a valid concern for her since she passes even the most racist paper bag tests that the deep south would have concocted.  As much as she hates white people, she can't imagine not living near them.

Yes, I'm calling her by her real name because any time she pretends to be some woke as fuck turbonigger, it's a reminder that she has one of the whitest names out there.  Her middle name is equally white as fuck too.  It's hilarious.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2017, 07:21:23 PM by Dem Wypipo »

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5970 on: December 18, 2017, 08:06:56 PM »
+3
The $150/month loft she wanted to rent is probably going for $300 now.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5971 on: December 18, 2017, 08:11:36 PM »
+17
I was working part-time to save money and when I quit the prices sky-rocketed, god damn gentrification.

It's almost like there's some other underlying issue with Vanilla Oreo's plan to get her own place...

unprivsplain

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5972 on: December 18, 2017, 08:15:36 PM »
+7
I was working part-time to save money and when I quit the prices sky-rocketed, god damn gentrification.

It's almost like there's some other underlying issue with Vanilla Oreo's plan to get her own place...
Institutional racism?

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5973 on: December 19, 2017, 01:41:57 AM »
+9
Goons melt down over Trump getting added to the hall of presidents

Quote from: Popete
"From the beginning America has been defined by it's people."

I just imagine a bunch of poor interns combing through hours of Trump speeches to find a sound clip that was semi-coherent and not horribly racist and that was the best they could come up with for his robot.

Quote from: Bhaal
This is how monsters get normalized.

You don't want to include the bits that made him stand out and brought his voters to the polls, because the things he said that brought him to power are grotesque, and you are concerned about mass appeal. So instead of capturing his essence as a political figure, you fill his persona with inert stuffing, put it on display, and say to everyone that this intentional misrepresentation of him... is him.

Quote from: Koalas March
This is the same megacorp that blacklisted a bunch of journalists over a bad review. They are bad and own everything. Nationalize Disney.

Quote from: The Phlegmatist
that's actually a really good speech if you can manage to damage your brain to the point where trump isn't a white supremacist

Quote from: Deified Data
How many water purifiers could we have manufactured and distributed to needy third world villages for the price of one TrumpBot?

Quote from: Gaunab
That Trump robot is going to get vandalized a lot.

Quote from: Parasol Prophet
No lie, if there was a way to hurl a partially-melted ice cream cone at it through the internet, I would have done so three times already.

Quote from: farraday
Some poor 19 year old in a brightly colored shirt is going to have to spend all day smiling and asking people not to pee on the Trump.

bonus:

Quote from: Koalas March
My grandmother is literally taking money out of her retirement fund or some shit so we can go stay at the Animal Kingdom and go to Disneyworld next year one more time just in case her cancer comes back. (We used to go a lot when I was a kid and she had a little more money) I love Epcot and the Animal Kingdom. I'm excited. I love Disney. But still, it's evil lmao

Fuckin' stupid ol' cancer bitch taking money out of my inheritance her retirement fund or some shit so we can take a family trip to Disneyworld one last time. I'm excited because I love pop culture. But still, it's evil af lmao

« Last Edit: December 19, 2017, 02:04:56 AM by anti-nigger machine »

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #5974 on: December 19, 2017, 06:17:00 AM »
+15
I AM A POOR BLACK GIRL WITH A POOR FAMILY LIVING IN DETROIT THE POOREST BLACK PEOPLE FATE IMAGINABLE. My grandma is taking money out of her retirement to take us to Disney World!

Jesus fuck is KM the world's dumbest con artist?