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Author Topic: Shmorky Lulz  (Read 74846 times)

bongo bongo

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Shmorky Lulz
« on: January 23, 2015, 03:38:22 PM »
+10
Quote
THANK YOU.
I have not talked about this lately. The support you guys have given us has been incredible. You may not have realized it, but you have been supporting us in pretty lousy times.
(warning: this is serious shit) Months back my fiance was pulled over for speeding. This would not have been so bad if the officers weren’t so dead set on harassing her. I was in the car with her, witnessing the whole thing. They treated her with hostility and tried their hardest to find drugs on her. They said she had “dilated eyes.” She demanded they test her for drugs and they didn’t even bother (because that would have proved them wrong I guess.) I was getting scared because I had little reason to trust these small town cops. These people probably never see any action… they’re just bored and hoping to bust someone, anyone. She did have some prescription drugs for anxiety, which was clearly written right on the label… so what they did next was purely out of malice.
She taps me on the chest to say “would you look at this?” Four officers swarm around her and put her in cuffs saying “That’s assault! You hit her!” I’m standing there, completely baffled. She barely touched me and they are cuffing her and dragging her into a police car. I’m crying now, begging them not to take her away from me. She’s in a nervous panicked state because she has no idea what these cops will do to her. They set the bail absurdly high, which is a jerk thing to do at 1AM because it makes it nearly impossible to pay. After trying forever to get a bail bondsperson I finally find one and am able to pay 20% (yes, 20) to get her out. This takes nearly four hours. Four hours my sweetheart is locked up with no communication, no water, nothing. They’re calling her a “fucking jew” and laughing at her.  When she finally gets out she’s shaking, freaked, and her hair is falling out. I have to carry her out because she can barely stand. Like I said, she takes medication for anxiety and these officers just exacerbated it unnecessarily.
We have to get a lawyer and months later we finally get the charges against her dropped. This has still put a major dent in our wallets. We would love to sue, but with police in this state getting away with murder we don’t see how we could possibly win. Right now we’re just trying to save up so we can move away. These people did not do their jobs properly and caused my fiance too much stress. She would not leave the house for months. The site of a cop car gives her a panic attack. I love her and I want her to feel safe.
There are ways you can help AND get something fun for doing it.
1. You can support me on Patreon:
For only $2 a month you can get access to a backer blog that is updated frequently. There are doodles and comics and even some mini books for download. For oldschool fans there are some Purple Pussy comics way at the bottom of the page here:
https://www.patreon.com/shmorky?ty=a
2. You can buy things from my Square store:
New things getting added to this store now and then. Sometimes digital art. Sometimes it’s minicomix and even original artwork. This is US only, but you can find out alternate ways to pay by using the email in the link (under the ABOUT section)
https://squareup.com/market/shmorky
3. You can get ad-space for your own personal website at the top of butthug.com:
https://www.projectwonderful.com/advertisehere.php?id=71428
4. Buy some of my ebooks!
https://gumroad.com/shmorky
You’re helping us out so much already just by coming to this site. Thank you so very very much.

http://butthug.com/post/108697998940/thank-you-i-have-not-talked-about-this-lately

Someone please get the police report


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reactionary

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2015, 03:56:55 PM »
+32
You can tell this story is fake from the fact that the officers are said to have called shmorky a "her"
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Trigonigetry

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2015, 04:09:02 PM »
+5
Yo Shmorky, if you publish shit on the internet, fucking proofread it first. 

FreakyDeaky

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2015, 04:22:50 PM »
+2
You can tell this story is fake from the fact that the officers are said to have called shmorky a "her"
Yeah, this. What the fuck kind of self respecting cop would do something like that?

Shmorky, get your shit together. You're not being oppressed. Try not being a fucking dickhead when a cop pulls you over. There's literally no way the story played out the way you say it did.*

* If anything happened at all.
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Spokker

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2015, 04:33:28 PM »
+11
Written for maximum victim dollars considering the anti-police sentiment these days.


Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2015, 04:37:34 PM »
+22
Why the fuck don't people get that if your prescription medication for sadbrains impairs your driving ability you shouldn't drive?  Legally obtained prescription medication can impair your judgement just as much as illicit drugs and I wish cops would charge a hell of a lot more people who think it's OK to drive on their daily cocktail of psych meds.

I really wish the voice recording/dashcam footage of this was available because it sure as shit didn't go down the way Schmorky says.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2015, 04:39:48 PM »
+21
Quote
(warning: this is serious shit) Months back my fiance was pulled over for speeding. This would not have been so bad if the officers weren’t so dead set on harassing her. I was in the car with her, witnessing the whole thing. They treated her with hostility and tried their hardest to find drugs on her. They said she had “dilated eyes.” She demanded they test her for drugs and they didn’t even bother (because that would have proved them wrong I guess.) I was getting scared because I had little reason to trust these small town cops. These people probably never see any action… they’re just bored and hoping to bust someone, anyone. She did have some prescription drugs for anxiety, which was clearly written right on the label… so what they did next was purely out of malice.

it always cracks me up how those cops are just interrogating good, god-fearing people about how they know they're on drugs (they're totally not) and what a coincidence it turns out they actually have drugs on them.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2015, 04:41:05 PM »
+42
Cocks Off, Don't Shoot
Let me know when the next SASS spinoff starts.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2015, 04:47:57 PM »
+4
it always cracks me up how those cops are just interrogating good, god-fearing people about how they know they're on drugs (they're totally not) and what a coincidence it turns out they actually have drugs on them.

A quick trip to TCC or Bluelight is all the proof you need that prescription drugs can fuck you up even at therapeutic doses and plenty of times it's going to be obvious to others that you're fucked up.

Either Schmorky's beloved was speeding 'cos she ignores road rules or Schorky's beloved "didn't realise" she was speeding because reasons.  Neither is an acceptable excuse, but if you look drug affected (because your prescription meds make you look that way), then it's perfectly reasonable for cops to follow up on that.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2015, 05:33:32 PM »
+5
Butthug.com  :swanson:

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2015, 06:04:13 PM »
+6
His ~fiance~ has "anxiety." I'm shocked.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2015, 06:12:44 PM »
+7
i'm confused schmorky is engaged? did schmorky write this or was schmorky the one who got arrested?
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the man’s fragmented urine stream.

hair sniffing boner diary

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2015, 06:15:29 PM »
+5
i'm confused schmorky is engaged? did schmorky write this or was schmorky the one who got arrested?

Shmorky is the author of this fiction.  His jewess fiancee, who he describes as "tapping" him in the chest in the view of the arresting officers, was the one arrested.  Butthug.com is his professional website, powered by tumblr.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2015, 06:22:33 PM »
+7
Is there any real medical precedent for a couple hours of anxiety causing your hair to fall out or is that just complete insanity

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2015, 06:24:48 PM »
+4
Is there any real medical precedent for a couple hours of anxiety causing your hair to fall out or is that just complete insanity

It's complete insanity.  "Fiance" is probably a whackjob who pulls at their own hair and rocks backwards and forwards in the corner when "anxious" (after all the "you can't do this to me, this is discrimination/harassment" bullshit has failed to work).

Is Schmorky's fiance also a troon, 'cos Shmorky used the male version of "fiance" while also referring to that person as "she".
« Last Edit: January 23, 2015, 06:34:26 PM by Waltzing Matilda »

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2015, 06:36:12 PM »
+2
Is there any real medical precedent for a couple hours of anxiety causing your hair to fall out or is that just complete insanity

It's complete insanity.  "Fiance" is probably a whackjob who pulls at their own hair and rocks backwards and forwards in the corner when "anxious" (after all the "you can't do this to me, this is discrimination/harassment" bullshit has failed to work).

Is Schmorky's fiance also a troon, 'cos Shmorky used the male version of "fiance" while also referring to that person as "she".

Shmorky is (shamefully) American, and oftentimes Americans simply forget this convention. 
On the other hand, troons  :geithner:

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2015, 07:11:19 PM »
+8
Obviously high on most likely benzodiazepines and driving. Willing to bet she also acted belligerent cause benzos make you lose your inhibitions and in high enough doses can make people rage and get violent.

bongo bongo

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2015, 07:22:48 PM »
+3
Would rocket or whoever the lawyer/ fbi detective guy is please post the police report


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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2015, 07:32:19 PM »
+15

I'm almost surprised that Shmorky's fiance wasn't sprayed with a fire hose and dry shaved like First Blood.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2015, 07:37:42 PM »
+3
Would rocket or whoever the lawyer/ fbi detective guy is please post the police report

Do we have a location or a name to search, because if it's somewhere they put mugshots online then the results could be entertaining.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2015, 07:38:26 PM »
+2
I'm going to guess he's in Missouri since he would hang with Lowtax.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2015, 07:42:09 PM »
+2
I'm going to guess he's in Missouri since he would hang with Lowtax.

Yeah, but what jurisdiction would encompass the location of the SA offices and nearby (we know he used to go into the offices when he was working there)?  Schmorky wasn't charged, so it's gonna be pretty hard to search anything without a fiance name or a location and date.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2015, 08:11:15 PM »
+11
What total stdh.txt This sorry dumpy fuck made up this whole dumb fucking story to pretend he passed in a public setting, and to curry points with his histrionic faggot friends that spend all their time whining about dem fukken popo.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2015, 08:16:32 PM »
+3
What total stdh.txt This sorry dumpy fuck made up this whole dumb fucking story to pretend he passed in a public setting, and to curry points with his histrionic faggot friends that spend all their time whining about dem fukken popo.

And to get money.  That's the most important bit - they'd totes sue the police department and win but they can't afford it.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2015, 08:21:13 PM »
+6
What total stdh.txt This sorry dumpy fuck made up this whole dumb fucking story to pretend he passed in a public setting, and to curry points with his histrionic faggot friends that spend all their time whining about dem fukken popo.

And to get money.  That's the most important bit - they'd totes sue the police department and win but they can't afford it.

If that lying bitch's story had any shred of truth he would already be posting the ACLU pro bono lawyer lined up to sue the precinct to oblivion.