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Author Topic: Shmorky Lulz  (Read 79932 times)

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2015, 08:50:31 PM »
+2

If that lying bitch's story had any shred of truth he would already be posting the ACLU pro bono lawyer lined up to sue the precinct to oblivion.

Not to mention that he would have posted about it endlessly when it happened.  If it cost them a ton in lawyer's fees and many months to get the charges dropped, then there was some substance to the charges.

Trigonigetry

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #26 on: January 23, 2015, 08:52:04 PM »
+9
What total stdh.txt This sorry dumpy fuck made up this whole dumb fucking story to pretend he passed in a public setting, and to curry points with his histrionic faggot friends that spend all their time whining about dem fukken popo.

And to get money.  That's the most important bit - they'd totes sue the police department and win but they can't afford it.

If that lying bitch's story had any shred of truth he would already be posting the ACLU pro bono lawyer lined up to sue the precinct to oblivion.

GAWD, you don't understand, they're police, so they'd win, ugh, I can't even



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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #27 on: January 23, 2015, 08:59:34 PM »
+2
If this is at all true there will be a court record of Shmorky AKA Dave Kelly posting bail in or near Pleasant Hill, Missouri

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #28 on: January 23, 2015, 09:16:55 PM »
+17
:tom:

Im picturing that faggot diaperbaby talking to the cops in his squeaky faggot troon voice I'm fuckin dying here

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2015, 09:19:07 PM »
+5
Ps that shit never fuckin happened but I wish it did out of general disgust for troony cunts and the retards that support them.

Kill urself then your "girl" friend smorky

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2015, 09:21:42 PM »
+1
If this is at all true there will be a court record of Shmorky AKA Dave Kelly posting bail in or near Pleasant Hill, Missouri

Is that how it works?  I assumed it would be the bail bond company's name on the paperwork as they're the one the money gets returned to if the person shows up for court. 

Looks like Pleasant Hill doesn't submit minor shit to a central database.

Quote
www.case.net is a computer system operated by the Missouri government (Office of State Court Administrators).  It shows all Missouri State Court records (more or less).  It also shows SOME municipal court records.  Pleasant Hill Municipal Court does not submit its court record information to Case.Net.  Neither does Peculiar.  You'll generally only find state court records there (such as Cass County and Johnson County Circuit Court).

This may or may not be useful if we had more information.

http://publicrecords.onlinesearches.com/MO_Cass.htm

The police blotter was too painful to bother with.

http://www.cassmosheriff.org/blotter.aspx
« Last Edit: January 23, 2015, 09:31:47 PM by Waltzing Matilda »

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2015, 09:38:03 PM »
+2
Shmorky's drugged up big eyed looney tune of a fiancť "poked" him in the chest and got charged with assault against presumably Shmorky.

Wouldn't Shmorky have to press charges for her to get brought to court? I dont believe this story for a second


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Bitters

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #32 on: January 23, 2015, 09:47:53 PM »
+1
Is that how it works?  I assumed it would be the bail bond company's name on the paperwork as they're the one the money gets returned to if the person shows up for court. 

Looks like Pleasant Hill doesn't submit minor shit to a central database.

Quote
www.case.net is a computer system operated by the Missouri government (Office of State Court Administrators).  It shows all Missouri State Court records (more or less).  It also shows SOME municipal court records.  Pleasant Hill Municipal Court does not submit its court record information to Case.Net.  Neither does Peculiar.  You'll generally only find state court records there (such as Cass County and Johnson County Circuit Court).

This may or may not be useful if we had more information.

http://publicrecords.onlinesearches.com/MO_Cass.htm

The police blotter was too painful to bother with.

http://www.cassmosheriff.org/blotter.aspx

That's Cass County.  Schmorks probably lives in Jackson County.  Or he was pulled over by city cops in any one of the shitty suburbs that ring Kansas City, Missouri.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #33 on: January 23, 2015, 09:59:13 PM »
+2
Wouldn't Shmorky have to press charges for her to get brought to court? I dont believe this story for a second

That's not the way it works here.  Police press the charges and if the police have witnessed the incident (as happened here), they're not getting dropped even if the victim refuses to co-operate - especially if the assault is against a domestic partner, and I'll absolutely guarantee that had this happened Shmorky would have been throwing around "my fiance" like crazy.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #34 on: January 23, 2015, 10:06:38 PM »
+19
schmorky gets fired by lowtax, a few weeks later he's begging the internet for money
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the manís fragmented urine stream.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2015, 10:15:55 PM »
+2
schmorky gets fired by lowtax, a few weeks later he's begging the internet for money

The fact this supposedly happened months ago makes me wonder if Schmorky begged Lowtax for money and got fired because of that.  Imagine sitting around that harpy voice whining about its fiance being terrorised by the cops.

Quote
Why would you bail someone out who was probably going to get released on their own recognizance? If you have no prior and aren't busted for anything serious,  they let you go home and come back to court on your own. The only time. Story smells like bullshit.

Who knows, but bonds seem to often be required for trivial shit in the US whereas they're rarely required here at all unless the offence is super-serious and you're considered a flight risk (and even then it's usually a promise to pay which is lodged with the court rather than actual funds).  Obviously the police were able to set bail rather than it having to be set by a court, but who knows how much discretion they had over the amount.

I absolutely believe that fiance managed to get itself arrested.  It's the rest of the bullshit I don't buy.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #36 on: January 23, 2015, 10:21:17 PM »
+2
Not to mention that he would have posted about it endlessly when it happened.

Bingo.

We can be sure beyond a doubt that nothing in this story took place. Too bad, though.

DangerClose

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #37 on: January 23, 2015, 10:24:34 PM »
+2
I missed the whole thing with Shmorky being fired thing; I saw Lowtax talk about how he thought Shmorky went crazy and they weren't friends anymore and that was it. Anyone know what actually happened?

Surreal

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #38 on: January 23, 2015, 11:00:36 PM »
+5
Obviously high on most likely benzodiazepines and driving. Willing to bet she also acted belligerent cause benzos make you lose your inhibitions and in high enough doses can make people rage and get violent.

The only goon who ever drove on benzos baked to death in his car.

Surreal

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #39 on: January 23, 2015, 11:01:49 PM »
+15
"uh yeah, there are two genderblobs squeaking at each other, i'll arrest them"

Charles C Johnson

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2015, 11:02:53 PM »
+8
I missed the whole thing with Shmorky being fired thing; I saw Lowtax talk about how he thought Shmorky went crazy and they weren't friends anymore and that was it. Anyone know what actually happened?

He drank the last of the Barefoot.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2015, 11:13:02 PM »
+3

He drank the last of the Barefoot.

Or he appropriated the last of the Ambien for his fiance's "anxiety".

"uh yeah, there are two genderblobs squeaking at each other, i'll arrest them"

Should be standard police procedure everywhere.

Has Shmorky ever captured the attention of /cow/?
« Last Edit: January 23, 2015, 11:16:26 PM by Waltzing Matilda »

RunForrestRun

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2015, 11:24:21 PM »
+3
There's no way his "fiance" isn't a tranny.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2015, 11:58:36 PM »
+14
Shmorky's gf is surprisingly normal and decent looking. I'm sure she's a mess but

post pics so i can hate myself for not being able to attract a woman while tranny fatass weirdo extraordinaire dave kelly can
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the manís fragmented urine stream.

Aran

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #44 on: January 24, 2015, 12:12:45 AM »
+16
Shmorky's gf is surprisingly normal and decent looking. I'm sure she's a mess but

post pics so i can hate myself for not being able to attract a woman while tranny fatass weirdo extraordinaire dave kelly can

I'm married and you're lonely. Think on that.

Ghostse

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #45 on: January 24, 2015, 12:48:06 AM »
+2
Shmorky's gf is surprisingly normal and decent looking. I'm sure she's a mess but

post pics so i can hate myself for not being able to attract a woman while tranny fatass weirdo extraordinaire dave kelly can
Let me know when the next SASS spinoff starts.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #46 on: January 24, 2015, 12:57:05 AM »
+2
Shmorky's gf is surprisingly normal and decent looking. I'm sure she's a mess but

post pics so i can hate myself for not being able to attract a woman while tranny fatass weirdo extraordinaire dave kelly can

I'm married and you're lonely. Think on that.

i think on it every minute of every day
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the manís fragmented urine stream.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #47 on: January 24, 2015, 12:57:39 AM »
+15
also iirc correctly lowtax explicitly stated that he fired schmorky because he was sick of his creepy tranny shit
Trigger warning: the second video contains powerful audio of the manís fragmented urine stream.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #48 on: January 24, 2015, 01:57:59 AM »
+4
Mail order brides usually run away at some point aran.

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Re: Shmorky Lulz
« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2015, 10:52:32 AM »
+7
Shmorky's gf is surprisingly normal and decent looking. I'm sure she's a mess but

post pics so i can hate myself for not being able to attract a woman while tranny fatass weirdo extraordinaire dave kelly can

Seriously post them you fucking faggot don't do that fag hand-wringing shit about not wanting to do it you brought it up now post the pictures so we can either make fun of you for thinking whatever shitblob shmorky is putting it to or feel bad about outselves for not attracting anyone while fucking Dave Kelly squeaky manshit extraordinaire can.