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Author Topic: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck  (Read 125387 times)

Cisnormative Commando

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #25 on: July 16, 2013, 02:55:37 PM »
0
As of 2008 he was still receiving “birthday money.”


I don't know why but this little detail made me lol.

Great job!  :nixon:
« Last Edit: July 16, 2013, 02:56:41 PM by Autismal disgrace »

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #26 on: July 16, 2013, 04:18:01 PM »
+4
The Failure of the American Education System

Woodchuck went to elementary school and Junior High in Oklahoma, where he was mercilessly mocked. A brief ray of hope occurred when he wrote his first article for the Junior High School newspaper.
Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
Bill Watterson ended Calvin and Hobbes in 1996. I wrote one of my first feature stories for the junior high newspaper about it.

Then he entered high school. His peers began to dully ignore him instead of openly mocking him.
Quote from: Senor Woodchuck”
Just coming back from a semi-disastrous summer science camp thing in Texas. About to start high school, and feeling very conflicted. On the one hand, new people, a chance to redefine myself and maybe start dating. On the other, I knew we'd be moving the following May (although I didn't, as yet, know where), and was dealing with all the conflicting emotions that aroused. Was officially a confirmed Lutheran, but didn't know how I felt about it. I didn't know it at the time, but the meds I was taking were starting to work their magic more effectively, as this would be the least-eventful school year of my life, at least in the sense of visits to the principal's office. Read and hated the Clone Saga. Still thought Wizard was funny. Was vaguely curious about the Star Wars special editions. Spent a lot of time watching softcore porn on HBO. Masturbated constantly.

That spring, his father’s work took them to Houston TX. He began posting a lot on “Wizard World Forums.” In a new High School, Taylor High, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_E._Taylor_High_School he had a chance to reinvent himself. He wrote for the school paper, became involved in theatre. Things got better for Woodchuck. :unparsons: He even stopped going to therapy. In his senior year he perfomred in a "major role" in "The Flight of the Earls," a high school play about the Irish. It was a formative experience for him.
Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
While I have fond memories of fellow students from all years, that particular nucleus holds special meaning for me. You see, the fall show from my senior year was, I think, the highlight of my time at Taylor. Not just because I was cast in a major role, but because of the tight bonds all of us, cast and crew, formed during that particular production. Part of it is just that it was a damn good show; it was the biggest success I can recall from my time, and in terms of accomplishment, we all felt we knocked it out of the park.
SNIP
The core of that group, the Seven and Thirteen, I count among the people I've been closest to in my entire life.

They've even crept into my writing. It's no surprise; as the people I've known best, they're naturally the best inspiration for fully realized characters. When I need a small, unsure woman with a core of steel, there is Jenni. An easygoing everyman, Michael. A boisterous, forceful prima donna (a term of endearment, I assure you), Shanna. A rakish heartbreaker you can trust with your life, Justin. The woman of any man's dreams... well, I think I'm allowed to keep that one private.
:stare:

That summer he worked at The Original Pasta Company and was accused of stealing. His ’94 Mustang, which may have been the last car he owned, broke down. Then it was off to college.


Quote
“Nevertheless he’s an Oxford man.”

“Oxford, New Mexico,” snorted Tom contemptuously, “or something like that.”
Woodchuck left Houston and went to Oxford College of Emory Universtity in Georgia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_College_of_Emory_University There he would get his AA Degree and then move to Emory proper for the next few years and complete his Bachelors. He did more writing and more theater, joined clubs, got into video games and MST3K. He joined the Comic Book Resource Forums in 2002.

During Summers and Winter Breaks he’d go home. One year he worked at a Sears Hardware store, where he unloaded trucks, amongst other things. It would be the last real job he would hold for years. His final summer before his senior year, he interned at “Southern Flair” magazine in Atlanta. He met women in college too, had some sort of social life. He had sexual relations on at least two occasions, one of which, in Atlanta that hot summer, would be the last for many years. Though as we’ll see, it would have long reaching consequences.

Like so many of his age group, he was convinced of his own greatness. He was Special. He was Unique. He was Talented. Everyone said so. His generation would take the working world by storm with their forward thinking talents. That’s what the articles all said. He barely had to even try to get a job. One was coming for him. He wasn’t even going to return to Houston and his parents. When it didn’t come, he had his “first breakdown.”

Still though he managed to graduate with, you guessed it, a degree in English and Creative Writing :adam:

He slunk back home to his parents, tale between his legs. They were busying themselves building a swank new house in an exclusive community, and temporarily moved into a rental. Michael moved in with them.
Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
Post-graduation was a state of stasis. Back in Houston, I took up the tools I had naively ignored before and set about rebuilding my job search from the ground up. I had a goal: publishing. Preferably New York, but Chicago was also a possibility, and the presence of several prominent comics publishers on the West Coast made it attractive as well. Conducting such a search from Texas is not easy; I made extensive use of my father’s fax machine.

He also did the all important task of going to San Diego to Comic Con, on his parents dime.
Quote from: ”Senior Woodchuck”
. As a final triumph, I located and re-purchased one of the holy grails of my childhood: The Transformer Computron.

He was 22 years old.

Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
I've always said that one of the defining moments of my generation was the death of Optimus Prime in Transformers: The Movie.


Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
And so began my long and sad affair with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. While I never made that mistake again, I made plenty more: Not showing any interest until it was too late; showing too much interest; chasing after girls who’d shown negative interest; contenting myself with scrambled porn on Cinemax… you name it, I made it.

Quote from: ”Senor Woodchuck”
And then there's touch. I love touching a woman. The skin is usually soft, and I get a good thrill out of running my hands along her face, or her curves. And, like many a man, I do like the feeling of a good tit in my hand. They're like koosh balls. Silly analogy, but that's the way it is.

cis scum 1.0

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #27 on: July 16, 2013, 04:27:55 PM »
0
See I keep wondering why younger people keep writing all of that shit on tumblr and shit, even on facebook where it can be traced to them, but there you have a man who is a fucking 30-something in my age range and he's writing his pathetic life story and broadcasting it to the world.

Why?

Most of the things he's openly writing about should have died with them, or told to his best friend one night while depressed and drunk, with the understanding that they were never to be repeated.

Instead, he's telling the whole world. I don't fucking get it.


Is there a condition where you just feel no shame?

no frills

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #28 on: July 16, 2013, 04:30:49 PM »
0
holy fucking shit, i cant imagine suffering through an existence like that  :reagan:

Huffington Post

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #29 on: July 16, 2013, 04:53:32 PM »
0
Title could not be more fitting. Good work yet again, Dog.

I fucking hate goons

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #30 on: July 16, 2013, 04:54:05 PM »
0
this is what never having a job does to you. it turns you into this big baby huey. normal people can't concern themselves with half the shit that goes on in SA because they have to wake up every morning to go to work because they have their own bills to pay.

goddamn.

Coyote Attic

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #31 on: July 16, 2013, 05:06:24 PM »
0


Most of the things he's openly writing about should have died with them, or told to his best friend one night while depressed and drunk, with the understanding that they were never to be repeated.

Instead, he's telling the whole world. I don't fucking get it.



I don't get it either. If I ever *had* put a lot of crap out there, the first time I saw someone get doxxed all that stuff would have been gone. I don't think these people get the idea that pity is a terrible thing, not something you're supposed to go begging for.

Is he short? He looks like a short man. Another sad Little Hitler.

Black Gardener

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2013, 05:11:21 PM »
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Up next is romance, I can't wait to see how deep this rabbit hole goes :obama:

a torrent of piss

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #33 on: July 16, 2013, 05:47:01 PM »
0
Life is like celophane here in doxx berg. Racecars, trampolines, perverts, it's a sad blurr.

Lets Solve a Mystery, like what's between Arcee.

Doxx berg OOOHNOOOO

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #34 on: July 16, 2013, 06:05:56 PM »
+1
i stopped giving a shit about k-12th grade when i was 19 and i don't know anyone else who gave thought longer than that. the way he uses so many words and that kind of prose to highlight that long story short he got bullied in middle school and was your average nerd in high school shows his natural narcissism and belief that he's ~~~special~~~ like peter parker or any other of his juvenile heroes. he's the most milquetoast of all the SA moderators and barely even reaching mediocrity in every way yet he writes his biography like it's some cliff-hanging story with poignant and deep thoughts.

SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #35 on: July 16, 2013, 06:33:53 PM »
0
 :reagan: :nixon:

Great work Dog, and excellent writing and presentation.  A+  Maybe you could get a job in publishing or editing  :stewart:

I don't want to steal your thunder so I'll wait, but you know the tale of the creepy hairsniffer must be posted ....
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


Launchpad McQuack

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2013, 07:10:59 PM »
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Woodchuck is literally Benny in 10 years. I cannot emphasize that enough. If Benny the Snake ever read these forums, the one thing I hope he would read and comprehend is that. The major difference, in fact, is that Benny so far has had the sense to stay with his parents and try to support himself on his own. Though of course, if his parents had the cash that Woodchuck's do, he would probably follow the same road.

I don't know, I think I'd actually put Benny above him in the social ladder. Benny while utterly pathetic, at least is willing to take a McJob to pay his bills. Woodchuck feels he's above that (he made posts talking about how he feels he is overqualified for them) even though it's likely where he falls in the job qualification department.

PUSSY CANCER

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2013, 07:16:33 PM »
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See I keep wondering why younger people keep writing all of that shit on tumblr and shit, even on facebook where it can be traced to them, but there you have a man who is a fucking 30-something in my age range and he's writing his pathetic life story and broadcasting it to the world.

Why?


He's egocasting.  It's what you do when you've accomplished nothing with your life.
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttt

Huffington Post

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2013, 07:20:50 PM »
+6

SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2013, 07:26:03 PM »
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^^^ haaah.  I wonder if ol' Senior Woodchuck knows what he's in for were his greatest fantasy to come true?  NWS for real duck dick if you click play
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwjEeI2SmiU" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwjEeI2SmiU</a>
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2013, 07:29:17 PM »
0
Duck rape, duck necrophilia, but sorry woodchuck no cartoon ducks!  Bet he still rubs one out to it.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY</a>
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2013, 07:35:47 PM »
0
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRKdTAzPBv0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRKdTAzPBv0</a>
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttt

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2013, 07:45:54 PM »
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This thread got seriously gross.
Fear is the foundation of goon.


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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2013, 07:46:08 PM »
+1
Quote from: Senor Woodchuck”
Spent a lot of time watching softcore porn on HBO. Masturbated constantly.


lol this is the best. "Masturbated Constantly" would be a fitting epitaph on woodchuck's tombstone.  Thank you Dog for finding out more about this wonderful man  :nixon:
I WAS SO HIGH I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUNCH MY WIFE IN THE BACK OF THE NECK TO PROVE THAT WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING WAS NOT REAL.

SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2013, 07:48:09 PM »
0
I'm sure giant corkscrew dicks has nothing to do with why closeted faggot furry Michael Charles Pullmann is so infatuated with ducks.

 :adam:
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #45 on: July 16, 2013, 07:49:11 PM »
0
This thread got seriously gross.
Confirmed you're not Senior Woodchuck's secret spy account, so that's good.
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #46 on: July 16, 2013, 08:05:03 PM »
0


Senior DuckFuck is very sad on the sadman scale.
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

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Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

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My Female Dad

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #47 on: July 16, 2013, 08:12:40 PM »
0
Relationships: Dating a girl named Erin since June of 201

Did you find out what she looks like? I can't imagine this guy dating anyone who isn't a similarly sad and pathetic human being unless he's lying his ass off.

SSOUL TRANN

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #48 on: July 16, 2013, 08:33:16 PM »
0
Relationships: Dating a girl named Erin since June of 201

Did you find out what she looks like? I can't imagine this guy dating anyone who isn't a similarly sad and pathetic human being unless he's lying his ass off.

Pic of Senior Woodchuck's long time gal-pal found!



corkscrew fleshlight insert not included

oh my god it exists



« Last Edit: July 16, 2013, 08:35:33 PM by SCISSORS DON'T CURE TRANNIES »
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."


Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: Diary of A Sadman: The Doxxing of Senior Woodchuck
« Reply #49 on: July 16, 2013, 08:37:17 PM »
0
Relationships: Dating a girl named Erin since June of 201

Did you find out what she looks like? I can't imagine this guy dating anyone who isn't a similarly sad and pathetic human being unless he's lying his ass off.

Pic of Senior Woodchuck's long time gal-pal found!



corkscrew fleshlight insert not included

oh my god it exists



Well, I learned something new today.

 :facepalm:
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.