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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 213657 times)

asip

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5000 on: February 23, 2018, 10:19:28 AM »
+5
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5001 on: February 23, 2018, 11:06:08 AM »
+1
I guess that's a joke? It's not really funny. Maybe you had to be there.  :jesse:

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5002 on: February 23, 2018, 12:30:05 PM »
+7
I guess that's a joke? It's not really funny. Maybe you had to be there.  :jesse:
I WAS DERE OY GEVAULT
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Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5003 on: February 23, 2018, 12:31:23 PM »
0
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.
Yes, that much is clear. I'm just annoyed that someone presents evidence and cuts part of it off. People suck so much.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


InsideOutside

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5004 on: February 23, 2018, 12:40:34 PM »
+3
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.
Yes, that much is clear. I'm just annoyed that someone presents evidence and cuts part of it off. People suck so much.


Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5005 on: February 23, 2018, 02:26:33 PM »
+1
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.
Yes, that much is clear. I'm just annoyed that someone presents evidence and cuts part of it off. People suck so much.


That is an actual picture of me from my NFL days.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5006 on: February 24, 2018, 12:01:58 AM »
0
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.
Yes, that much is clear. I'm just annoyed that someone presents evidence and cuts part of it off. People suck so much.


That is an actual picture of me from my NFL days.

Are you ashamed of your old hairdo? Because you should be :colbert:

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5007 on: February 24, 2018, 01:23:32 AM »
0
If you can't laugh about the hair room at Auschwitz then get out.
Yes, that much is clear. I'm just annoyed that someone presents evidence and cuts part of it off. People suck so much.


That is an actual picture of me from my NFL days.

Are you ashamed of your old hairdo? Because you should be :colbert:
It's called a mustache, faggot.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5008 on: February 24, 2018, 01:41:26 AM »
0
cant see a mustache but I honestly thought we were looking at the back of your head, hard to tell what with your "dark features"

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5009 on: February 24, 2018, 06:51:21 AM »
0
cant see a mustache but I honestly thought we were looking at the back of your head, hard to tell what with your "dark features"
My mustache goes all the way around the back of my head so clearly you're an idiot.
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Hugh G. Gaines

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5010 on: February 24, 2018, 11:30:36 AM »
+13
File photo of Rocket, c. 1987:


Dem Wypipo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5011 on: February 24, 2018, 10:51:16 PM »
+14
http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/12/president-duterte-orders-troops-to-shoot-women-in-the-vagina-7306851/

President Duterte orders troops to shoot women in the vagina

The President of the Philippines has reportedly told his soldiers to shoot female rebels directly in the vagina because without their genitals they are ‘useless’.

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5012 on: February 24, 2018, 10:55:30 PM »
+11
Stop a commie from bein a mommie

walrus rape strategy

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5013 on: February 25, 2018, 12:04:10 AM »
+3
File photo of Rocket, c. 1987:



That's where the whole popped collar fad came from.

Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5014 on: February 25, 2018, 12:06:00 AM »
0
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Got Soylent?

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5015 on: February 26, 2018, 07:49:14 AM »
+7
I dunno if this has been posted:

Woman Assumes Olympics Fan Is Flying a Confederate Flag. It Was Norwegian.

Quote
The Seattle Times received the following tip from New York Times best-selling author Rebecca Morris after she believed that she saw a Confederate flag flying in her neighborhood: “Hi. Suddenly there is a Confederate flag flying in front of a house in my Greenwood neighborhood. It is at the north-east corner of 92nd and Palatine, just a block west of 92nd and Greenwood Ave N. I would love to know what this ‘means’ … but of course don’t want to knock on their door. Maybe others in the area are flying the flag? Maybe it’s a story? Thank you.”

Here is the best part

Quote
When Morris found out that she had mistaken the flags, she pointed to the current political climate as a possible reason for her mix-up.

“Maybe that’s the story,” she told the Seattle Times. “We’re so stressed by all things political that we see things that aren’t there.”

:okaysure:

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5016 on: February 26, 2018, 09:05:04 AM »
+11
https://www.polygraph.info/embed/player/0/29044452.html?type=video

The U.S. army blasted an entire company of Russian mercenaries to smithereens in Syria. As far as I know we don't have a military thread, so I'll leave it here, because the casual way the Russian describes it sort of funny.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

Whig Historian

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5017 on: March 01, 2018, 10:34:32 PM »
+9
I solemnly swear that I am not the subject of this story.

Quote
A Portland-based attorney was arrested Wednesday after police say he fired several shots into a Beaverton office of another lawyer after an argument.

No one was injured in the Dec. 21 shooting at 14705 SW Millikan Way, but bullets nearly hit an administrative assistant at the law firm who was inside, according to a search warrant affidavit.

Erik Graeff, 42, of Vancouver, sent at least three profanity-filled emails to the other attorney about three hours before the shooting, the affidavit said. The dispute apparently began because the other lawyer, Terrence Hogan, had left Graeff a voicemail saying he didn't approve of Graeff's work on a recent civil case in Washington the two teamed together on.

Graeff responded to Hogan's voicemail with an email at 3:40 p.m., belittling the message and attached a picture of a cat playing a violin, the affidavit said. Hogan replied about a half-hour later saying Graeff will have to explain his conduct to the state bars in Oregon and Washington. Graeff is licensed to practice in both states.

Graeff replied that the idea "sounds good," that he'd be waiting and he's tougher than Hogan and both state bars, the affidavit said.

"You know where I am tough guy," Hogan wrote at 4:35 p.m., according to the court papers.

"If the traffic wasn't such [expletive], I'd be there today," Graeff emailed three minutes later.

The shooting was reported around 7 p.m. by the employee of Scott S. Kang P.C., where Hogan works, and by a witness at a nearby apartment complex who estimated hearing five gunshots, the affidavit said.

Hogan told investigators he'd known Graeff since 2009 and they'd worked together on several cases. He forwarded investigators an email Graeff sent him the day after the shooting where Graeff apologized for losing his temper, claimed he did the best he could on the Washington case and blamed Hogan for any problems with the case.

"With that off my chest merry Christmas buddy," Graeff ended the email according to the affidavit. "Don't suck too many reindeer [expletive] over the holiday."

Obese-n-Triggered

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5018 on: March 01, 2018, 11:18:27 PM »
+1
Hahahahah, not what I was expecting at all.


Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5019 on: March 02, 2018, 03:45:00 AM »
0
It's still Christmas in Portland? I'm going!
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Whig Historian

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5020 on: March 02, 2018, 11:37:07 AM »
+2
It's still Christmas in Portland? I'm going!
The reindeer will be lined up and waiting for you.

The shooting was back in December, but it seems to have taken until now to arrest the guy.

Obese-n-Triggered

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5021 on: March 02, 2018, 09:53:57 PM »
+7
Welp, about to take a nice plane ride. Think I'll just have a quick little jerkoff...

https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/968870549211377664

That is, until Mr. Wont-mind-his-own-business calls me out! The NERVE! 






Thanks for catching this dude in the act, mr. loudmouth. Hahahah  :nixon:

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5022 on: March 02, 2018, 10:54:42 PM »
0
Mr. Loudmouth, riding on a plane today, driving a GMC TopKek tomorrow.

David Hedgehogstein

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5023 on: March 03, 2018, 01:18:26 AM »
0
A shame it's fake :( The person who filmed it didn't say a word.


Rocket

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5024 on: March 03, 2018, 01:33:07 AM »
+4
A shame it's fake :( The person who filmed it didn't say a word.
Wrong, kind of.

https://m.liveleak.com/view?i=96e_1518104309&comments=1

From the comments: "He's the other kind of hijacker."
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.