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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 212540 times)

blasting_asshole

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5275 on: August 01, 2018, 02:56:52 PM »
+5
Plus, it's considered "fucking gay" by most adolescence, so young American athletes are far more likely to take their skills elsewhere, less their virginity remain intact throughout the entirety of their high school careers.

Michael Obama's Miscarriage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5276 on: August 01, 2018, 03:56:34 PM »
+2
yoooooooooooooooooooooooo soccer was even a bit too gay for me i did wrestling instead
nah im a
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OZMA CURES HAM

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5277 on: August 01, 2018, 07:42:48 PM »
+7
For parents it's ungodly expensive such that you're spending upwards of $20k+ a year
Nbnntu*clicking noise*brurbruri can learn to play with BF Goodrich sandals and an inflated goat bladder practically for free. Then again, it'll cost him an arm and a leg if he dosn't meet his diamond quota.

[SWOLE]Grode Jar

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5278 on: August 02, 2018, 01:00:07 AM »
+7
For parents it's ungodly expensive such that you're spending upwards of $20k+ a year
Nbnntu*clicking noise*brurbruri can learn to play with BF Goodrich sandals and an inflated goat bladder practically for free. Then again, it'll cost him an arm and a leg if he dosn't meet his diamond quota.

To be fair to soccer, youth sports are all being ruined in this manner.  Baseball is the same way, so is softball for girls, AAU in basketball is moving this direction, etc.  We're at a point where only football maintains local roots, doesn't have games year round, and doesn't cause burnout.  Parents trying to earn college scholarships for their kids have ruined youth sports.  What's funny is that if they would just put all of that money in a 529, then they might have enough to pay for college without the scholarship. 

The whole youth sports situation is completely fucked.  I'm not looking forward to it with my kids because it's like 10x more expensive now than it was when I played them 20 years ago.

Mad at the Internet

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5279 on: August 02, 2018, 10:40:11 AM »
+6
To be fair to soccer, youth sports are all being ruined in this manner.

It sickens me that as soon as something starts to get popular, the entire thing becomes a fucking racket. Fees to join up, which I totally understand, but then you gotta shell out for all the gear, and then pay for travel, food, and lodging to play out-of-town games or tournaments. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that. I don't have any kids playing in big organized leagues so I don't know all the specifics. But it always seems to turn into some scheme to extort money from parents just so Jayden and Jordyn can hang out and do fun stuff like sports after school.

I dunno, back in my day we just used to toss a football or baseball around and then go ride bikes until it was time to come in for supper, so what do I know?  :jesse:

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5280 on: August 02, 2018, 01:48:06 PM »
+1
I played both football and soccer into high school and I can tell you flat out that you're an idiot.  A good athlete is a good athlete, if they start off in one sport from the begining or play it for a while, they would be successful at it easily.

So why can't the United States, the country with generally the best athletes in the world (I say this without a trace of irony), produce world-class football players?

How long did you play football (and when)?


I played from the time that I was basically old enough to walk until I was 16.  I played competitively beginning at 11. 

As for the reason why we can't field a world class team?  Because the US Soccer program is an utter fucking trainwreck.  The leadership cares nothing about fielding a good team.  They refuse to force the necessary changes at the youth levels and with the MLS to do it.  The way soccer is at the youth level is a nightmare for both parents and players.  For parents it's ungodly expensive such that you're spending upwards of $20k+ a year and for players it causes massive burnout because they are often involved with multiple teams, constantly travelling, and never have any breaks. 

The MLS sucks because it's not used as a national league like what the Euros do where a certain percentage are required to be American citizens.  Thus it's just caused the other CONCACAF nations to get better while not improving our own players.  Further, because it's socialized, there are no real stakes for any of the teams.  A team can remain terrible for years and it doesn't matter monetary wise.  We are trying the same method that we used for football here for our professional league and it doesn't work because soccer requires a setup more like baseball for it to work.  That is, many different levels of play where players can be booted back down if they aren't ready. 

The US almost always has one of the fittest and most athletic teams in the world.  Our players tend to be blazingly fast, quick, strong, and big.  Our problem is that our skills aren't up to par, our coaching is average at best, and the US Soccer program is probably the worst among the entire 1st world nations.

 :888:

Dem Wypipo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5281 on: August 02, 2018, 07:22:13 PM »
+14
I have zero sympathy for dumbass striver parents who spend $20,000 a year so Snotleigh can play pee wee football.  Just have him throw a football around with his friends and stop assuming your children are going to be professional athletes who get a free ride to Harvard so they can be a Doctor and a Lawyer before being elected as the youngest person in the Senate.  The delusions these parents have about their mediocre children, jfc.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2018, 07:30:28 PM by Dem Wypipo »

Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5282 on: August 02, 2018, 09:17:05 PM »
+3
I have zero sympathy for dumbass striver parents who spend $20,000 a year so Snotleigh can play pee wee football.  Just have him throw a football around with his friends and stop assuming your children are going to be professional athletes who get a free ride to Harvard so they can be a Doctor and a Lawyer before being elected as the youngest person in the Senate.  The delusions these parents have about their mediocre children, jfc.

A chad post I 100% agree with  :nixon:


Oh also I coached a European football team my kid was on and I have never seen so many examples of rude and boorish behavior by adults in my life. God damn them to hell.

Nasekuchen

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5283 on: August 02, 2018, 10:40:51 PM »
+13

888 Didnt Read Shit

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5284 on: August 03, 2018, 08:15:19 AM »
+6
Chris Cuomo peddles conspiracy theory saying that Trump used the number 17 to signal to 4chan.

https://www.theblaze.com/video/cnns-cuomo-goes-off-the-deep-end-floats-insane-trump-conspiracy-theories-in-all-caps-on-twitter

FALSE FLAG POSTING EVENT

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5285 on: August 05, 2018, 11:55:59 AM »
+3
The best part is that he's correct.


 :alex:

Yankees are Scum

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5286 on: August 07, 2018, 02:26:00 AM »
+6
http://www.wymt.com/content/news/Man-allegedly-stabs-mother-with-fork-Since-I-cant-find-a-knife-this-will-have-to-do-489892321.html It is funny in a way with just how he said it but I know his parents really well and they're wonderful folks.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5287 on: August 07, 2018, 10:19:33 AM »
+6
https://www.aim.org/don-irvine-blog/university-of-missouri-qb-apologizes-for-offensive-tweets-sent-in-middle-school/

College football quarterback apologizes for tweets he sent out in middle school.  :facepalm:

kornbeef

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5288 on: August 07, 2018, 10:21:14 AM »
+12
If you're responsible for shit that happened hundreds of years before you were born, edgy tweets sent as a middle schooler are Serious Business.

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5289 on: August 07, 2018, 11:56:58 PM »
+5
http://www.wymt.com/content/news/Man-allegedly-stabs-mother-with-fork-Since-I-cant-find-a-knife-this-will-have-to-do-489892321.html It is funny in a way with just how he said it but I know his parents really well and they're wonderful folks.

This is the most YAS post ever. :allears:

InsideOutside

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5290 on: August 08, 2018, 01:29:45 AM »
+8
http://www.wymt.com/content/news/Man-allegedly-stabs-mother-with-fork-Since-I-cant-find-a-knife-this-will-have-to-do-489892321.html It is funny in a way with just how he said it but I know his parents really well and they're wonderful folks.

This is the most YAS post ever. :allears:

Nothing about hospitals, cable bills, trailers, meth, the DEA or the feud with the bitch two trailers down.

:pathetic:

Yankees are Scum

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5291 on: August 08, 2018, 01:22:44 PM »
+10
Nothing about hospitals, cable bills, trailers, meth, the DEA or the feud with the bitch two trailers down.

But it does have a dude I know stabbing his mom with a fork most likely cause she wouldn't give him drugs. It evens out in the end.  :allears:

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5292 on: August 08, 2018, 02:57:41 PM »
+1
http://www.wymt.com/content/news/Man-allegedly-stabs-mother-with-fork-Since-I-cant-find-a-knife-this-will-have-to-do-489892321.html It is funny in a way with just how he said it but I know his parents really well and they're wonderful folks.

This is the most YAS post ever. :allears:

Nothing about hospitals, cable bills, trailers, meth, the DEA or the feud with the bitch two trailers down.

:pathetic:

Somebody get Steve Goodman on the phone...

blasting_asshole

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5293 on: August 09, 2018, 08:12:46 AM »
+6
Nothing about hospitals, cable bills, trailers, meth, the DEA or the feud with the bitch two trailers down.

But it does have a dude I know stabbing his mom with a fork most likely cause she wouldn't give him drugs. It evens out in the end.  :allears:

Replace "drugs" with "beer" and isn't that how Luanne's daddy went to prison and "the trailer tipped over" on KOTH?

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5294 on: August 09, 2018, 10:38:27 AM »
+8
You idiots, you left out any mention of "Elizabeth."

0-10. Would not YAS again.

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.0

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5295 on: August 09, 2018, 07:05:42 PM »
+10
Well, I was on meth the day my mom got out the hospital
And I went to watch King of the Hill
But before I could steal cable from the trailer next door
Eliazbeth forgot to pay the dammed ol' cable bill

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sco_eBvXGTQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sco_eBvXGTQ</a>

Michael Obama's Miscarriage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5296 on: August 09, 2018, 08:08:18 PM »
+9
Chris Cuomo peddles conspiracy theory saying that Trump used the number 17 to signal to 4chan.

https://www.theblaze.com/video/cnns-cuomo-goes-off-the-deep-end-floats-insane-trump-conspiracy-theories-in-all-caps-on-twitter

reminder tho that all the cannanite and satanic symbology in pizzagate, music videos, movies, and displayed by our politicians and ruling class.. it's all just a crazy conspiracy theory goy.
nah im a
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Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5297 on: August 09, 2018, 10:15:42 PM »
+15
Reminder that transcreature wow should kill itself

Whig Historian

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5298 on: August 13, 2018, 02:52:14 PM »
+14
Laziness led to extinction of Homo erectus

Quote
New archaeological research from The Australian National University (ANU) has found that Homo erectus, an extinct species of primitive humans, went extinct in part because they were 'lazy'.

An archaeological excavation of ancient human populations in the Arabian Peninsula during the Early Stone Age, found that Homo erectus used 'least-effort strategies' for tool making and collecting resources.

...

"To make their stone tools they would use whatever rocks they could find lying around their camp, which were mostly of comparatively low quality to what later stone tool makers used," he said.

"At the site we looked at there was a big rocky outcrop of quality stone just a short distance away up a small hill.

"But rather than walk up the hill they would just use whatever bits had rolled down and were lying at the bottom.

"When we looked at the rocky outcrop there were no signs of any activity, no artefacts and no quarrying of the stone.

"They knew it was there, but because they had enough adequate resources they seem to have thought, 'why bother?'".

...

"The sediment samples showed the environment around them was changing, but they were doing the exact same things with their tools.

"There was no progression at all, and their tools are never very far from these now dry river beds. I think in the end the environment just got too dry for them."

Are we... sure they're extinct?

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5299 on: August 13, 2018, 03:07:57 PM »
+7


Are we... sure they're extinct?

har har har I get what you're trying to imply there internet racist man, but refer back to the part of the article stating that these guys made tools in the first place.