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Author Topic: Funny Shit From The News  (Read 190465 times)

Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5225 on: July 13, 2018, 08:26:11 PM »
+9
While I completely understand the rest of the world calls it "football" we're posting about it on the American invented internet on American invented computers, using American invented electricity so "soccer" it is.

If you wanna call it "football" then go back to living in the dark ages.

You do understand that literally the entire world apart from the United States calls the sport "football" and not "soccer"?

Literally the entire world apart from America is shit so fuck them and fuck European fucking football

David Hedgehogstein

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5226 on: July 14, 2018, 02:29:48 AM »
0
While I completely understand the rest of the world calls it "football" we're posting about it on the American invented internet on American invented computers, using American invented electricity so "soccer" it is.

If you wanna call it "football" then go back to living in the dark ages.

You do understand that literally the entire world apart from the United States calls the sport "football" and not "soccer"?

Literally the entire world apart from America is shit so fuck them and fuck European fucking football
America did well in the World Cup this year...
 :stewart:
Sorry forgot you were a filthy Mexican...I mean
Mexico did well in the World Cup this year...
 :stewart:


Procrustes

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5227 on: July 14, 2018, 07:21:06 AM »
+13
 I guess you really got me there. A country I have no love for did well or poorly in a “sport” I don’t give a shit about

lol stupid Crimigrant Doublenigger

blasting_asshole

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5228 on: July 16, 2018, 11:10:42 AM »
+4
While I completely understand the rest of the world calls it "football" we're posting about it on the American invented internet on American invented computers, using American invented electricity so "soccer" it is.

If you wanna call it "football" then go back to living in the dark ages.

You do understand that literally the entire world apart from the United States calls the sport "football" and not "soccer"?

Literally the entire world apart from America is shit so fuck them and fuck European fucking football

Pretty much this, the entire world apart from America piggybacks off American success and innovation so while we can totally give back SOCCER and suffer no quality of life loss, you can't exactly give back what the US has provided and expect the same civilization.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5229 on: July 16, 2018, 05:39:23 PM »
+5
Like soccer matters :tom:

Fun fact: In a group text once, our friend who thought she was something special because she "traveled the world" called it "futbol" and I harrassed her endlessly because she was born and raised in a shitty backwater town in West Virginia.

Also, on a totally unrelated note, I saw a sign today that called Breakfast "brekkie" and a piece of me died.  :myecred:

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5230 on: July 16, 2018, 05:52:16 PM »
0
Why does no other country on Earth care at all about NFL apart from the Americans if it's such a great sport to watch?
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5231 on: July 16, 2018, 06:55:57 PM »
+10
Why does no other country on Earth care at all about NFL apart from the Americans if it's such a great sport to watch?

NFL hasn’t been particularly great since the 80’s when niggers started infesting the sport en masse.
The only people who care anymore are boomers. And they’re abandoning the sport because of ESPN.

Now hockey is a pretty cool sport

asip

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5232 on: July 16, 2018, 07:55:19 PM »
+2
Cuz European colleges didn't have football teams that became immensely popular.

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5233 on: July 17, 2018, 07:13:51 AM »
+1
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAPxcVioyQk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAPxcVioyQk</a>
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5234 on: July 17, 2018, 10:23:55 PM »
+4
wow impressive moves running straight and kicking a ball forward 3 times

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br0sJicBEGw" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br0sJicBEGw</a>

Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5235 on: July 18, 2018, 03:17:26 AM »
+9
Why does no other country on Earth care at all about NFL apart from the Americans if it's such a great sport to watch?

Why does every country outside of America believe that we care about what they think?
"Gentlemen don't like violence but love the violence of words. Prepare for word torture! I'm full of dangerous phrases that should be censored!"

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5236 on: July 18, 2018, 07:13:44 AM »
0
wow impressive moves running straight and kicking a ball forward 3 times

There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5237 on: July 18, 2018, 07:38:30 AM »
+7
There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

 :urafag:

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5238 on: July 18, 2018, 07:46:18 AM »
0
There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

 :urafag:

such argument, wow

But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5239 on: July 18, 2018, 08:32:24 AM »
+4
such argument, wow

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb2ia25C9mE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb2ia25C9mE</a>

Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5240 on: July 18, 2018, 02:16:42 PM »
+6

There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

Nigga there are 6'5", 270 lb linebackers in the NFL who can run the 100 meter dash at close to Olympic sprinter levels (some of them even WHITE--look up Luke Kuechly).
There have been 5'9" 180 lb. WR and CBs that can tackle and knock those same linebackers on their asses.
There are QBs that can perfectly pass a ball 50 yards down field to a precise spot while being tackled by a near-400lb. gorilla.
There are field goal kickers that can properly kick a ball through a relatively narrow upright from 60 yards away in the wind while trying to avoid being tackled.
While your mystery-meat soyboys struggle to kick a goal on penalty kick with no interference into a goal nearly the length of an endzone

America has most of the best male athletes in the world (our Olympics record stands for itself) and even the guy whose job is to catch and hold the ball for a kicker makes way more money doing that than he ever would in a career in soccer which why all of our best athletes play in the NFL unless they're really dedicated to an Olympic sport they can win gold in, or they're tall enough to play for the NBA.
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The Trumpriarch

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5241 on: July 18, 2018, 02:50:14 PM »
+7
I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

I await with bated breath to see which soccer-playing faggot will win the Oscar for best actor. It really gets the ol' emotions stirring watching a grown man fake an injury to get a penalty kick.
cry "bigot!" and let slip the troons of war

Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5242 on: July 18, 2018, 03:11:51 PM »
+5
There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

perfect passes?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elqcgbbxQJk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elqcgbbxQJk</a>

perfect play around the defense and/or perfect shots?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXURCgifzQI" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXURCgifzQI</a>

Reeeeeeee

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5243 on: July 18, 2018, 06:21:50 PM »
+5
wow impressive moves running straight and kicking a ball forward 3 times

There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

It’s like a weeb talking about animu, but it’s euro sports

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5244 on: July 18, 2018, 06:36:19 PM »
+4
wow impressive moves running straight and kicking a ball forward 3 times

There isn't an NFL or NHL athlete who could've had the vision to immediately make the perfect pass for the striker or the speed and agility to outrun one of the best defenders in the world and play around the goalie and two defenders like that and finish with a perfect shot to the corner of the goal.

I can appreciate the skill involved in hockey but it just doesn't get the adrenaline pumping like football.

you're a solid poster, bro but this is just wrong, sorry.

Virtue Signalman First Class

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5245 on: July 18, 2018, 07:33:42 PM »
+1
Nigga there are 6'5", 270 lb linebackers in the NFL who can run the 100 meter dash at close to Olympic sprinter levels (some of them even WHITE--look up Luke Kuechly).
There have been 5'9" 180 lb. WR and CBs that can tackle and knock those same linebackers on their asses.
There are QBs that can perfectly pass a ball 50 yards down field to a precise spot while being tackled by a near-400lb. gorilla.
There are field goal kickers that can properly kick a ball through a relatively narrow upright from 60 yards away in the wind while trying to avoid being tackled.
While your mystery-meat soyboys struggle to kick a goal on penalty kick with no interference into a goal nearly the length of an endzone

America has most of the best male athletes in the world (our Olympics record stands for itself) and even the guy whose job is to catch and hold the ball for a kicker makes way more money doing that than he ever would in a career in soccer which why all of our best athletes play in the NFL unless they're really dedicated to an Olympic sport they can win gold in, or they're tall enough to play for the NBA.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZHycHI3F1Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZHycHI3F1Q</a>

I just find football stuff more impressive. And I'm not alone judging by the viewership figures.

The point about making more money in NFL than in an American soccer league doesn't really hold water. Most of the top talent from around the world set their sights on Europe because that's where the big money is. I can't think of a single American footballer in a top European club.
But I do often point out that I write both science fiction and fantasy. It’s just that the science fiction is usually titled ‘technical proposal’ and the fantasy is titled ‘budget proposal.’

- Jordin Kare

Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5246 on: July 19, 2018, 12:44:55 AM »
+4
The top NBA and NFL stars earn just as much if not more than Soccer Superstars and more than any pro athlete in the world except the very top F1 Racer and Tennis star (due to sponsorships, not salary or winnings).
Also Tiger Woods until his wife went Caddyshack on his ass.

Also you're missing the point.
Soccer kicks are made under very little duress.
Field Goal kickers often have to kick between 50-60 yards away (nearly HALF the length of the field) and much farther than those trick shots in the video, and unlike soccer, football is rarely played in domes or covered stadiums so they have kick in near zero degree weather, in the snow, in the rain, or in the wind against 11 dudes, most of them 300 lbs or close enough to it, trying to block or tackle him.
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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5247 on: July 19, 2018, 01:09:32 AM »
0
The top NBA and NFL stars earn just as much if not more than Soccer Superstars and more than any pro athlete in the world except the very top F1 Racer and Tennis star (due to sponsorships, not salary or winnings).
Also Tiger Woods until his wife went Caddyshack on his ass.

Yeah I don't think this is true. 2 of the top 3 highest paid athletes in the world are soccer players (Messi and Ronaldo respectively, and the #1 is Floyd Mayweather. According to Forbes, no American athlete even shows up until number 6 on the list (LeBron James)

https://www.forbes.com/athletes/#53be998255ae

David Hedgehogstein

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5248 on: July 19, 2018, 02:28:11 AM »
+1
American Football is just Rugby for pussies. Gotta wear that body armour, may chip a fingernail.


Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Funny Shit From The News
« Reply #5249 on: July 19, 2018, 03:47:21 AM »
+2
The top NBA and NFL stars earn just as much if not more than Soccer Superstars and more than any pro athlete in the world except the very top F1 Racer and Tennis star (due to sponsorships, not salary or winnings).
Also Tiger Woods until his wife went Caddyshack on his ass.

Yeah I don't think this is true. 2 of the top 3 highest paid athletes in the world are soccer players (Messi and Ronaldo respectively, and the #1 is Floyd Mayweather. According to Forbes, no American athlete even shows up until number 6 on the list (LeBron James)

https://www.forbes.com/athletes/#53be998255ae

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kurtbadenhausen/2018/06/05/the-worlds-100-highest-paid-athletes-2018-behind-the-numbers/#2abba6e74dd0

Quote
Athletes from 11 different sports made the cut. NBA stars lead the way with 40 basketball players among the top 100. It tops the record from one sport set just last year with 32 hoopsters (only 18 were on the 2016 list). The soaring NBA salaries are a result of an increased salary cap, driven by the league’s $24 billion TV deal, which tipped off with the 2016-17 season.

The NFL was the next most-represented sport with 18 athletes, led by Matt Ryan ($67.3 million) at ninth overall. Baseball (14 athletes), Soccer (9), Golf (5), boxing, tennis (4 each) and racing (3) also landed multiple stars in the top 100.


--Yes, 2 or 3 soccer superstars are at the top but on AVERAGE, the AVERAGE NFL or NBA player makes way more.

For fuck's sake, Nic Batum of the Charlotte Hornets made it onto that list and he's barely good enough to be a starter on one of the most mediocre teams in the league that hasn't won a playoff game in over 15 years :tuss:
"Gentlemen don't like violence but love the violence of words. Prepare for word torture! I'm full of dangerous phrases that should be censored!"