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Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 950676 times)

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7050 on: November 12, 2018, 02:05:10 PM »
+8
Buncha Zoomers Had A Sieg Heil Giggle. Truly amazing reply chain on the twitter account.

Quote from: exploded mummy
the photographer apparently thought it would be a great picture for the male junior class to sieg heil on a spur of the moment thing, according to the account by the guy in the upper right who is not really happy about this situation

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
yeah. i'll be overlyoptomistic and say these are a bunch of dumb fucking privledged shithead kids who will grow out of it. i was into dumb edgy troll shit at that age and i grew out of it.

"But Kavanaugh drank a lot of beer as a college frat bro? CRIMINAL"

Quote from: Nonsense
ID all these fucking chuds, and make sure none of them go on to better things. Stop this shit early. Decorum can fuck off.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
This is why they should be named and shamed. They’re going to vote Republican either way. Other white boys need to see that there are consequences for being public Nazis.

yo can we ruin the lives of a bunch of kids

You know even if I agreed with these guys, why would you do this? Wouldn't the correct thing to do be to talk to the young men and convince them to change their minds? Hey goons here's a shocking fact especially since you all popped boners at the thought of felons getting their votes back in Florida: when you use liberal doxxing to ruin people's lives I think it will turn them against liberals. I don't think you're going to get lucky, torch some guy's scholarships and turn him towards trucking and he'll end up thinking "I really learned my lesson! It's Her Turn!"

Bunch of ghouls who just want to spread misery.

Quote from: RuanGacho
GOP voters think only dems cheat so because they are unable to objectively gauge the battlefield they lose.

Quote from: mcmagic
I mean they believe all kinds of crazy shit. But partisan gerrymandering and things that make voting harder for people are on their face offensive to people.

Red think blue cheat, but red bad, therefore blue never do bad.

Quote from: Article
House Democrats say their first bill after taking power would establish automatic voter registration and reinvigorate the Voting Rights Act.

Quote from: Nonsense
This is very good, and I want this brought up to a vote as constantly as repealing Obamacare was. I don't mind this being the broken record issue Democrats run on during the presidential campaign either. This absurdity needs to end.

Quote from: Deified Data
This is extremely cool and 100% what they should be using their time on.

However I assume this is just symbolic?

I 100% support this act actually. Just have to combo it with voter ID. You turn 18, you get mailed a card, your one vote is tracked if you're a citizen. Something like that. Who could object to anything else unless they needed to manufacture votes for close races or bus in illegals? :shrug:

Quote from: Article
Sherrod Brown For President?

Quote from: ColonelMuttonchops
I'd really prefer if he didn't. If he becomes president, then that's another senate seat down, because Ohio sure as hell isn't going to replace him with another democrat.

Maybe if he just drags the dialogue left like Bernie did and then leaves/loses, because we really need him here.

This is the third time I've seen this tortured logic. It's not enough to win. It's not even a consideration to win. All that matters is ARE WE BEING LEFT ENOUGH? How dumb do you have to be to whine about that? "Well we beat Trump in 2020 but now Ohio's senator isn't a guy I like!" Lose the war to win the battle!

Quote from: Rent-A-Cop
I refuse to recognize Broward County as part of my big dumb state.

It is the worst county on the peninsula, and that's including the ones populated entirely by gator-fucking, meth-cooking, swamp lunatics

I hate these young white men who judge others based on the color of their skin. Now let me tell you about how I hate and judge everybody in entire counties based on their likely background and upbringing...

Quote from: condiv
Tbh, vote by email could be done securely. It’d just be a giant pain in the ass and make it impossible for the geriatric Fox News viewers to vote, what with them having sponges for brains lol

It's OK to hate old people, white people, southerners! How progressive!

Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7051 on: November 12, 2018, 04:35:10 PM »
+4
Quote from: Rent-A-Cop
I refuse to recognize Broward County as part of my big dumb state.

It is the worst county on the peninsula, and that's including the ones populated entirely by gator-fucking, meth-cooking, swamp lunatics

I hate these young white men who judge others based on the color of their skin. Now let me tell you about how I hate and judge everybody in entire counties based on their likely background and upbringing...

On the one hand, goon, on the other hand, he's not wrong...


Hollywood Shabat Goy Yaro

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7052 on: November 12, 2018, 04:54:12 PM »
+6
It's funny how all of these hardcore socialist revolutionaries at the end of the day are the degenerated byproducts of capitalism and not only depend on its largesse for their lives but also their identity and sustenance.


Quote

Don't pick a fight with Al Franken, this is the guy who in truth should be President. Smart, ethical and generally a good person. And he is a comic so in a verbal war he will make you look stupid.

Quote
Thanks Maureen. I've been dealing with that pedantic argument of not being able to spell makes me an idiot since grade school. I'm autistic with a 130+ iq who writes a graphic novel about sex abuse and with an obsession about pshycology to the point I'm more informed than my therapists about current news.

anti-pibble machine

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7053 on: November 13, 2018, 02:39:48 AM »
+8
Lightning Knight seems to be the son of an illegal.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
Also sorry, but I'm just not going to give her a pass for that. I didn't like it when the Dreamers thing was happening either. It's just something I feel really strongly about, my family has lived in fear since Donald Trump was elected that they'd try and deport my dad despite him being a legal citizen and I won't stand for Democrats dogwhistling on immigration. It's just flatly unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.

But there's a twist.

« Last Edit: November 13, 2018, 03:12:55 AM by anti-pibble machine »

The Watcher

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7054 on: November 13, 2018, 06:57:06 AM »
+4
Lightning Knight seems to be the son of an illegal.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
Also sorry, but I'm just not going to give her a pass for that. I didn't like it when the Dreamers thing was happening either. It's just something I feel really strongly about, my family has lived in fear since Donald Trump was elected that they'd try and deport my dad despite him being a legal citizen and I won't stand for Democrats dogwhistling on immigration. It's just flatly unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.

But there's a twist.

He is not wrong, Browns hate niggers and are mistrustful of Asians.
His name was Harry Anderson

J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7055 on: November 13, 2018, 07:14:06 AM »
+7
"my father is a legal citizen" = "my father is here on an expired visa"


That said, if Lightning Knight's father really is a legal citizen, then his supposed fear of deportation is nothing but a pathetic ploy to score victim points from gullible goons. 

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7056 on: November 13, 2018, 01:34:24 PM »
+3
Lightning Knight seems to be the son of an illegal.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
Also sorry, but I'm just not going to give her a pass for that. I didn't like it when the Dreamers thing was happening either. It's just something I feel really strongly about, my family has lived in fear since Donald Trump was elected that they'd try and deport my dad despite him being a legal citizen and I won't stand for Democrats dogwhistling on immigration. It's just flatly unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.

But there's a twist.

He is not wrong, Browns hate niggers and are mistrustful of Asians.
Just look at the Chicago crime stats and then read the trial cases of how they murdered the people, the Central and South American Gangs in Chicago make the Klan seem humane.

unprivsplain

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7057 on: November 13, 2018, 03:11:10 PM »
+5
"my father is a legal citizen" = "my father is here on an expired visa"


That said, if Lightning Knight's father really is a legal citizen, then his supposed fear of deportation is nothing but a pathetic ploy to score victim points from gullible goons.
You see it a lot on reddit. They hype up the fear of deportation if they commit violent felonies, as if that's something a normal person should be worried about.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7058 on: November 13, 2018, 04:57:16 PM »
+6
"my father is a legal citizen" = "my father is here on an expired visa"


That said, if Lightning Knight's father really is a legal citizen, then his supposed fear of deportation is nothing but a pathetic ploy to score victim points from gullible goons.
You see it a lot on reddit. They hype up the fear of deportation if they commit violent felonies, as if that's something a normal person should be worried about.
You'll notice that they'll also take pictures of their petty crimes like how much they stole from a store, bragging about breaking into their neighbor's car or house, and a ton of other shit that would get them into legal trouble. They want zero consequences for their actions and they'll wine and bitch how unfair everything is because the cops should be focusing on big criminals only and leave the little criminals alone. That's the same mentality in mexico where they feel that because the cartels are the big bad and the police force is overloaded that the police would just ignore any and all crime committed by individuals or smaller groups.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7059 on: November 13, 2018, 05:32:19 PM »
+9
Quote from: Lemming
Cops love arresting people and hate protestors. These protests are generally angling to get arrested because they want to be disruptive and make noise and get attention (note that this is a good tactic and these people are incredibly brave and laudible). It just doesn't require Pelosi to be antagonistic towards them for this to have happened. I'm sure there are lots of other offices there, as well. 200 people standing in a hallway is disruptive by nature, which cops hate.

Some protesters bothered Pelosi instead of a member of red team so suddenly maybe there's an issue with mob tactics in protesting. Also cops only become cops because they love arresting people. That's it. Only reason. Maybe we could just get rid of all the police and prison staff. Seems unnecessary.

Quote from: Yorkshire Pudding
Trunp was complaining about rigged elections weeks before he won in 2016. Nothing new there.

But let me tell you about red team's election rigging!

Quote from: NoDamage
Is anyone else worried about how he's going to react in 2020 if he loses the election? If he's already peddling conspiracy theories about this one I don't think he's going to go quietly...


Quote from: Rigel
No. Him whining and bitching about fraud and illegal votes while being pushed out the door will pale in comparison to the damage he will have already done up to that point. There will be no coup and no revolution. He'll simply leave, very loudly, or get dragged out. Since getting dragged out by force would be humiliating, then he'll leave and go start Trump TV or something.

Yeah imagine if somebody spent two years tweeting take-thats after losing the primary election and ghostwrote a book to blame everybody else for her loss including demeaning women as a whole for being too god damn stupid to vote for her as a robotic mass of NPCs.

Imagine.

Quote from: KingFisher
Or keep trying to take our rights away while giving bus nothing in return, and hence giving us every reason to oppose the change.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
You have posted this tripe in two different threads and it's absolutely despicable, as are you. There is no right to gun ownership other than on paper. Fuck your gun rights. Melt every gun down and use them to build a giant statue of a penis that says "fuck your gun rights."

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

That's a spicy mod! "There is no right to gun ownership other than on paper." What paper do you think it's written on, oh scholarly mod?

Turns out there's a gun debate thread and it's about what you'd expect.

Quote from: Gripweed
I'm serious, the current existing gun control options are not satisfactory. On the one hand you got the Dems who want to do terrible, dumb, ineffective laws like the AWB or not letting people on the do not fly list buy guns. And on the other hand you got the gun fans who, if they're willing to even suggest anything at all, say we should just fix all societal problems and end unhappiness.

Neither of those are acceptable. So fuck it, just ban all guns.

Quote from: Groovelord Neato
like i always say - if they won't give a inch we'll take a mile.

I believe the traditional response here is "from my cold dead hands" and "try it any time, faggot."

Quote from: khwarezm
Guns are a pointless extravagance for the average person and their insane profusion throughout America mostly comes down to scared white people, with the main result being much higher levels of violent crime in America compared to similar countries that have significantly tighter restrictions on owning firearms even taking into account things like income inequality and poverty. Massive civilian gun ownership isn't even much use for the prospective definitely going to happen and definitely going to be Socialist revolution that I keep reading about here.

Thread done.

Camera zoom in

Quote from: khwarezm
Disarm the police, I live in Ireland and the thought of an on duty cop having a gun at all is quite unpleasant. By strange coincidence we don't seem to see people summarily executed by the police as much. The only time you might ever see someone with a gun is if they're protecting armored cars moving money to banks, unless you live in the very worst parts of Dublin.

And before anyone says anything, Rural areas exist in countries that aren't America too, and yes they are more vulnerable to crime like home invasions (Ireland has traditionally had a higher proportion of its population in the country than other Western societies), but actual reasonable gun ownership for defense in these kinds of scenarios is a thing that exists outside of America too and the police force can still operate mostly without firearms.

Draw your own conclusions. :shrug:

Quote from: Dolphin
Ban ammunition sales, do widespread gun buybacks, melt them all down. Our national nightmare could be over in a month.

It's just that easy dudes. Everybody will give their guns back. Problem solved. Criminals do not exist.

Quote from: Dolphin
Buybacks work through attrition. You cut the primary supply and the secondary supply dwindles. Criminals don't need to turn in their guns, they'll trickle in slowly through the criminal justice system or they fall into disrepair.

Producing ammunition should also be illegal, and short of chemists you're not going to find someone who can make the raw materials. Also, secret munitions shops are not exactly easy to hide.

In terms of the "fix society" thing that's a very nice nebulous "gee what can we do" solution that no one has an answer to so we should just go ahead and ban guns and ammunition so people stop murdering themselves and others with tools designed by teams of engineers for that purpose.

Do these solutions prevent every gun related crime? No. Just most of them.

People will forget how to repair guns. Only "chemists" can handle the task of creating ammo.

Aran

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7060 on: November 13, 2018, 05:53:59 PM »
+6
It's so hard to make gunpowder only a chemist with an 80 page paperback book could manage it https://www.amazon.com/Do-Yourself-Gunpowder-Cookbook

Michael Obama's Miscarriage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7061 on: November 13, 2018, 07:21:39 PM »
+6
what's that phrase for when someone uses a bunch of words they don't understand trying to sound smart?

Quote
Guns are a pointless extravagance for the average person and their insane profusion throughout America mostly comes down to scared white people, with the main result being much higher levels of violent crime in America compared to similar countries that have significantly tighter restrictions on owning firearms even taking into account things like income inequality and poverty.

lets break this down

Quote
Guns are a pointless extravagance for the average person

Quote
higher levels of violent crime in America compared to similar countries

If America has high levels of violent crime, a firearm serves a function. I'm not sure how "pointless extravagance" fits into that equation.

Quote
mostly comes down to scared white people
Quote
higher levels of violent crime in America compared to similar countries

I'll agree a lot of gun owners are scared white people, but are they justified in this fear? In this own goon's words, yes.

Quote
that have significantly tighter restrictions on owning firearms even taking into account things like income inequality and poverty.

In this quote the goon is suggesting that the scared white people with guns are the cause of violent crime in America. Reality begs to differ.

but for shits and giggles, lets take a look at gun free goon paradise Melbourne Australia where the day was saved by you guessed it..... a gun

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XUb3Hy87d4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XUb3Hy87d4</a>

goons entire worldview shattered by subscribing to one of those police bodycam footage youtube channels and watching the videos for an hour or two. i really like this clip in particular, it really showcases how fucking retarded it is to unnecessarily risk the lives of law enforcement (and in other situations bystanders) by not having guns, and how ineffective tasers without lethal force to back them up can be:

https://www.liveleak.com/view?t=k7rjo_1523409087

of course youtube purged this one from existence. you can see how close the guy came to killing a cop, and how helpless they would have been, just past the 3 minute mark.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2018, 07:38:28 PM by Michael Obama's Miscarriage »
nah im a
white wow


walrus rape strategy

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7062 on: November 13, 2018, 07:42:13 PM »
+6
The numbers for whites in that FBI table would look a lot better if they didn't lump the Hispanics in with the huwhites.

Michael Obama's Miscarriage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7063 on: November 13, 2018, 07:59:35 PM »
+5
The numbers for whites in that FBI table would look a lot better if they didn't lump the Hispanics in with the huwhites.

thats the best part, no matter how hard they try they can't even begin to narrow that gap with data manipulation.
nah im a
white wow


mitt romney

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7064 on: November 14, 2018, 07:58:06 PM »
+6
It's so hard to make gunpowder only a chemist with an 80 page paperback book could manage it https://www.amazon.com/Do-Yourself-Gunpowder-Cookbook

It's fairly common knowledge the most backwards, inbred tribesmen in Afghanistan make their own ammunition, and was once regularly cited by these same people pre-Obama as to the futility of the American occupation.

I mean, pre-colonial Nigerians, using European designs, were known to have manufactured their own firearms. No idea of the quality, but if illiterate tribal peoples, whether in modern or pre-modern times could manage this feat, it clearly doesn't take considerable technical expertise to make simple and effective firearms and ammunition.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2018, 08:04:12 PM by mitt romney »

Trigger Word: Everything

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7065 on: November 15, 2018, 04:11:38 AM »
+9
Do they understand that well made well maintained guns can be kept in storage for probably hundreds of years and still work?  They aren't i Pads.
Shit. I guess this has helped me realize my privilege even more. So that's some good come out of it.
I feel so sad for all the people who don't have a supportive environment even like SA.

unprivsplain

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7066 on: November 15, 2018, 09:22:10 PM »
+5
Quote
The answer is they don't. That's the problem. If they spent their money at the same rate poor people spent their money, the "trickle down" theory might have actually held water. But they don't. Past a certain point, it all just collects into various investments to create more money that will sit in those same investments.

Bezos doesn't have infinity billion in his checking account. The sum of the things he "owns" is infinity billion. It would be a fun thought experiment if he liquidated himself below the guillotine line and just spent all of that money on things like road improvements or Jimmy Johns sandwiches. Just spray the economy with money used to pay for goods and services and see what happens. I'm curious to see how elastic our production structure is to absorb that kind of demand shock.

Think about that second part for half a second. That's all you'll need to see this guy doesn't really grasp the economy.

Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7067 on: November 15, 2018, 10:12:29 PM »
+5
Quote from: Lightning Knight
That Pelosi has represented one of the most progressive voices in the House for twenty years is a failure of American politics and though I certainly don't want her deposed from the right, she and everyone who shares her politics or is even in the same rough ballpark (which includes Bernie, by the by) is simply woefully insufficient to save us from global warming.

Also absolutely lol if you're under 40 and not anti-capitalist at this point.

Quote from: skylined!
Ya so what none of us are shitting magic wands.

Quote from: Lightning Knight
I mean, ok, as long as you're realistic about how completely and utterly fucked we are, then I'm ok.

People should be complaining, and unsatisfied. People should be pissed! I'm in my early 20s and I'll be fucking damned if I sit around and watch these people waste our fleeting window to not be totally boned.

Don't get mad that people are mad. People should be more mad than they are.

Quote from: Niwrad
Not really. I mean you can argue there's no one better to replace her or that she gets shit done (which is not true). But this revisionist history on her being a progressive is wrong.

Remember that she bought into multiple IPOs using insider information to profit from. This included the infamous Visa one when she made a 50% return in 2 days when she shelved legislation that would have hurt them. Always gave in when it came to increased military spending. Remains part of that old guard of Democratic politicians that worships at the altar of corporate donors. All while most of the new crop of popular Democrats have turned them down. Despite big talk about privacy concerns, she rallied the troops to shoot down Amash Amendment to reign in NSA surveillance. Talked a big game about putting an end to the war in Iraq when she took over but ended up just rolling over. I could go on and on.

She's a boring, do-nothing moderate who appeals to rich white liberals at the expense of the party shifting an inch to the left.

More Pelosi No True Scotsman in the thread. And a few goons including a mod lay their cards on the table. Hey guys you're free to leave the country any time you know, aren't we going to flood by 2040 anyway?

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
yeah. the blue dogs are on the out and they know the smarter old guard will stand with the progressives because legacies and to save there skins.

Quote from: Fulchrum
She's getting primaried from the right. This is her fighting against the wind.

Quote from: Stexils
presumably pelosi has seen that blue dogs are a pain in the ass when the party is trying to do things and tend to get voted out within a cycle or two, so she's siding with the opposite side

Quote from: Dapper_Swindler
i know. she is siding with the progressives so they have more reason to vote for her and because she knows the blue dogs will crash everything like last time.

I thought this was the blue wave and the dems were a unified front that would stand against evil or some shit!

Quote from: Shimrra Jamaan
Conservatives simply don’t know how to handle someone adept at social media. All the young people they have on their side are antisocial losers.

Don't forget to POKEMON GO to the polls!

Quote from: Article Tweet
Trump names a handbag designer and Mar-a-Lago club member as his South Africa ambassador

Quote from: Feldegast42
To be fair ambassadorships to places nobody cares about are generally where you put rich idle aristocrats to canoodle with the opposing nations rich idle aristocrats and keep them out of the way

Quote from: moostaffa
What do you mean with "places nobody cares about"?

Outstanding own goal here by Feldegast. An exchange to remember the next time a liberal cries at you about the racism in our society. You racism bad, me racism ok.

Quote from: CAPS LOCK BROKEN
Soviet style elections where people voted against candidates they didn't like would probably ensure the landslide victory of democrats into infinity.

Yes! God! Could we get some Russians over here to show us how it is done? And amazing how none of those darn Russians interfered with these elections huh? Especially not the ones where the Dem nom mysteriously produced 10,000 votes in their favor from the back of some guy's car!

Quote from: Yinlock
republicans are 100% sure there is Election Fraud going on because suddenly "finding" votes is what they always do

me side win by any means is ok. them side win mean much bad underfoot

Quote from: Article
Ocasio-Cortez gets in closed-door fight with veteran lawmaker over climate change

Quote from: my bony fealty
Lol owns. A reminder that old Democrats are the enemy too and they are just as terrified as iconoclasts like AOC coming in and sweeping their shit away.

A non-braindead Democratic party would be looking at how to set AOC up for ranking committee positions and an eventual presidential run, but welp

Goons are going ga-ga over diversity hire Ocasio-Cortez's twitter and DC antics. Look forward to lots of YASS SLAAY KWEEEN cries and demands the party pull hard hard harder to the left with more pioneering young bartenders of color.
« Last Edit: Today at 08:44:31 AM by Slacktivist »

MY FURSONOUNS

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7068 on: November 15, 2018, 11:03:02 PM »
+6
my aunt is the epitome of the dyed-in-the-wool, bleeding heart liberal NPC caricature.  childless spinster, natch.  she would fit the "cool wine aunt" to a T if she was remotely cool and my sisters didn't hate her.  she has proudly never failed to vote straight dem ticket, redirects every conversation to Trump's "fascism" (:rolleyes:), bleats endlessly about racism/guns/climate, and thinks abortion is just swell.  HUGE hillary fan.

Even she is embarrassed by ocasio-cortez' retardation.
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Four months on hormones and I swear that my crotch sweat smells different.

The Watcher

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7069 on: November 15, 2018, 11:36:29 PM »
+9
Dems are fighting each other over the Pelosi Cortez spat, you can see it on every liberal forum. Old dementia vanguard vs smooth brained new. I believe it was Napoleon who said not to interrupt your enemies when they are destroying themselves  :twisted:
His name was Harry Anderson

Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7070 on: Today at 02:34:53 AM »
+5
I own more guns than most of TFR combined, come get them from me D&D faggots. In fact, I bought 4 today.
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

Aran

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7071 on: Today at 08:35:35 AM »
+2
I own more guns than most of TFR combined, come get them from me D&D faggots. In fact, I bought 4 today.

Nice.

I just grabbed five more AR lowers