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Author Topic: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!  (Read 860 times)

J Dog

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Lowtax announced on SA that his mom has a rare form of cancer that can only be cured with experimental drugs that cost a totally-not-made-up amount of money.  Since its very unlikely that Lowtax will be able to raise an amount of money suspiciously similar to the amount of back taxes he owes in time to save his mother, Mama Lowtax will most likely die before the end of the year.  :sadface:  The silver lining to this horrible tragedy is that we can turn her impending death into a fun game!  I present to you

The Official Mama Lowtax Death Pool

The rules are as follows:
1. Pick a date and an hour (please specify am/pm) between now and January 1, 2019 that you think Mama Lowtax will go to the big Mangosteen vending machine in the sky.
2. Do not pick a date and time another poster has picked.
3. If you correctly pick a date and hour within one week of Mama Lowtax's painful death, you will receive a free Something Awful account.
4. If you correctly pick a date and hour within one day of Mama Lowtax's blissful relief from her failure of a son, you will received a free Something Awful account with the upgrade of your choice.
5. Finally, if you correctly pick a date and hour within one hour of Mama Lowtax's descent into the eternal fires of hell, I will personally shit on her grave within six months of her death, and post a picture of the result in this topic.

Good luck to everybody who enters!



InsideOutside

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2018, 08:43:21 PM »
+20
Can we have a "Lowtax is full of shit; mom lives to a ripe old age" option?

Procrustes

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2018, 08:50:11 PM »
+26
This thread is in poor taste even by the standards of this sad shitbouse of a forum.

asip

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2018, 08:52:32 PM »
+8
Can we have a "Lowtax is full of shit; mom lives to a ripe old age" option?

888 Didnt Read Shit

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2018, 08:58:40 PM »
+6
This thread is in poor taste even by the standards of this sad shitbouse of a forum.

Postmortem Mixtape

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2018, 10:22:46 PM »
+4
Can we have a "Lowtax is full of shit; mom lives to a ripe old age" option?

Aran

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2018, 11:23:39 PM »
+13
Mrs. Kyanka's only crime is not aborting, let's not take her potential real suffering as a victory.

There's No Way Somebody can be that Fat and not be Gay

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2018, 03:43:41 AM »
+11
I'm putting my money on Mama Tax outliving her embarrassing failure, because her problems are probably fake and his are very real.
Can someone please ID that fucking troon for me so I may begin twitter bullying him?

Diamond Dallas Page

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2018, 04:55:23 AM »
+3
This thread is in poor taste even by the standards of this sad shitbouse of a forum.

The Watcher

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2018, 06:59:15 AM »
+1
I agree with everyone but OP  :colbert:
His name was Harry Anderson

The Trumpriarch

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2018, 08:09:42 AM »
+3
This thread is in poor taste even by the standards of this sad shitbouse of a forum.
cry "bigot!" and let slip the troons of war

J Dog

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2018, 08:50:33 AM »
+11
:faggots:

The Watcher

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His name was Harry Anderson

Shakebox

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2018, 09:44:21 AM »
+3
This thread is in poor taste even by the standards of this sad shitbouse of a forum.

Doctor Jizzmopper

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2018, 03:48:37 PM »
+4
12/24/2018 20:30 PST
My favorite Aatrek episode is "City on the Edge of A School Zone"

Kevin Dawes was sold out by Eliot Higgins.

Spanish Manlove is Luis Franco-Waite

The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

Justice Dredd

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2018, 03:54:27 PM »
+5
i don't understand how lowtax's parents are unable to come up with $25k to literally save their life. she was a well-paid attorney for decades, they live in a low COLA area, lowtax was their only child. you can't dump out your retirement account that your corpse wouldn't need to buy medicine to save your life? second mortgage/sell your house and downsize to a smaller one?

kornbeef

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2018, 07:37:04 PM »
+4
Plenty of people are shit with money.

Cool Wine Aunt

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2018, 08:12:08 PM »
+4
Plenty of people are shit with money.

"Shit with money" is probably genetic in lowtax's instance.
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FALSE FLAG POSTING EVENT

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2018, 12:01:29 AM »
+9
I hope she spends all her money on experimental medicine that cures her and retires on a beach in Mexico leaving Lowtax to make his own way in the world with no hope of an inheritance.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2018, 12:21:28 AM »
+6
i don't understand how lowtax's parents are unable to come up with $25k to literally save their life. she was a well-paid attorney for decades, they live in a low COLA area, lowtax was their only child. you can't dump out your retirement account that your corpse wouldn't need to buy medicine to save your life? second mortgage/sell your house and downsize to a smaller one?

He hasn't said they don't have the money.  More likely there's been a conversation about how it sucks that you can have health insurance and still have to pay huge amounts for treatment.  If she lives another 10 years, that's $250,000.

FWIW, Lowtax isn't an only child.  He has a sister.

HondaRider271

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Re: Good News Everybody, Lowtax's Mom Has Cancer! Official Deathpool!
« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2018, 06:56:35 PM »
0
I'm going to say January 23rd, 2028. I shall patiently await my victory
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